My husband just told me he doesn't want to be with us anymore.

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S

SarahMarie08

Guest
#1
#1
I was working on Thursday when out of nowhere I get a text from my husband that he doesn't want to be with me anymore, "I think we should both go our own ways", my heart dropped down to my feet. I have two young girls ages 5 & 2, I don't believe in divorce so you can all imagine how hard this is for me, we have been together for 7 years and now this. I noticed he was distant but I thought maybe he was just tired from work but more often than not he has started to act reckless with his single friends. I don't know what I should do, so for now I'm not doing anything I think I'm still in shock but I cry myself to sleep every single night, all that I can think of is how my kids are gonna be affected by all this, he sdoesnt even want to see the kids anymore he said. And how hard it's gonna be to see him move on without us. I'm breaking apart.
 
H

HisHolly

Guest
#2
#2
Yikes!! I'll pray BC in this I have no experience.. abrupt end I do, but not in marriage.. sorry but it's probably for your benefit even though it feels terrible.
 
I

Infusion

Guest
#3
#3
Dont marry losers.
 
PrynceNY

PrynceNY

Banned
#5
Aug 16, 2016
2,184
62
0
#5
Sorry to hear about your marriage issues, I pray that the lord will comfort you & your daughters. I personally believe the lease can do is state any problems as well as if it can be resolved. God takes divorce seriously & from the looks of it it doesn't meet the any of the exceptions for it. He is liable to be judged for it. I also believe that was immature of him to say that over a text instead of face to face so it can be discussed properly. You & your daughters deseve better than that.
 
stonesoffire

stonesoffire

Poetic Member
#6
Nov 24, 2013
10,665
1,829
113
#6
I believe there's only one answer, let the Lord be your husband. He loves to care for one who is wholly dependant on Him.

He may change your situation with your husband and He may not. Your husband is running from the Lord. Not really you.
 
AnnieH

AnnieH

Member
#7
Dec 20, 2014
84
3
8
#7
What a shock that was! And, yes, doing it by text instead of sitting down and having an adult discussion was, at best, tacky. Please do what you need to do protect yourself and your children. Do you have family, friends, church who can support you emotionally while you try to make sense of this? A lawyer to give legal advice? I'm praying for you.
 
S

Sure

Guest
#8
#8
It's a bad news, however reach out to family members and christian friends who will assist you address issues involved. Your little kids deserve better deal and must be protected from the shock this action may expose them. I promise to uplift you before the altar in my prayers. Be strong.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#9
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,957
113
#9
I'm so sorry your husband did this cruel thing to you and your girls. It is such a tragedy, especially to the children, when irresponsible men walk away from their families.

Have you seen him or talked to him since he sent this text? Don't be clingy or demanding. Simply say that you are expecting financial support you and your young daughters, and you will be going to court to get spousal and child support. If he is good with the children, tell him he can have visitation, but you are going to have full custody. And let him take the girls. It will be a much needed break for you, and it may help your daughters' emotional development.

Do NOT let him get away with not supporting you! Instead of worrying about the "marriage" worry instead about your children, and not allowing him to get away free. Find a support group for abandoned women. Because that is what you are. You are not "divorced" but abandoned.

He may come back, but unless God changes him, you could be going through this all over again, in a month or a year or a decade. Seek counselling for yourself, so you can get support. And do not blame yourself! He is the one totally at fault. He made a commitment and he is now reneging on it! He is in the wrong, and don't let him try to tell you otherwise.

I hope you will look forward, and don't keep longing to go back. Something was wrong, and it needed to be addressed. Maybe a lesson for any future relationships?
 
H

HisDtr

Guest
#10
#10
Thinking of you SarahMarie08. Draw near to the Lord and to people who love you.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#11
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
17,022
113
69
Tennessee
#11
It sounds like your husband has become disillusioned with marriage and all the responsibility it entails. Also, it appears that he was dreading telling you how he truly feels since he resorted to sending you a text rather that discussing this with you in person. As long as he has not cheated on you I would say that your marriage is salvageable. Things have stagnated but with God in the center of your marriage it can blossom and grow. Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
 
N

NewWine

Guest
#12
#12
You're covered in the advice department, so I will only offer prayer for y'all.

You are so precious to God that He calls you His masterpiece and He cries with you and holds you close while you weep, so (even though it's so difficult) please try not let your husband's actions make you feel like any less than what you are....HIS!!
Peace
 
A

AmmaBev

Guest
#13
#13
What a shock to be rejected like this after being together for 7 years. Since you aren't married, I guess he feels he has no commitment to the family. You must feel betrayed and worried about how you will manage your two girls. Since he initiated the text, you will have to answer it and begin to summarize your feelings. If he is coming home, you can initiate a dialog with him at a quiet moment. Organize your thoughts and stick to one subject at a time to try to bring some logic into the relationship. If he doesn't want to hear your feelings, you need to then speak with a counselor or pastor whom you trust.
Here is an article from Focus on the Family which should be of help. I am so sorry you have this heart break. Ammabev What to Do When Your Spouse Wants a Divorce | Jim Daly
 
B

bolu26

Guest
#14
#14
that's not the end of life, faith is the flower of light in the field of darkness. there is a reason why. please be thankful. God knows why.
 
H

HisDtr

Guest
#15
#15
Continuing to think of you and praying for you right this minute.
 
TheLastKnight

TheLastKnight

Member
#16
Dec 17, 2016
95
5
8
#16
Sarah, It's time to go to work! Are you just going to sit back and let this happen or are you going to fight for your family?
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#17
May 29, 2013
9,160
1,787
113
#17
One thing I think you should consider is sometimes when people say things like this, they are expressing their feelings and that doesn't mean the marriage will end. It's an awful thing to say. A man should not do that to his wife. But this could be a foolish way of expressing something.

What has been going on with you two? Is he depressed? Has he been coming home late at night, saying he was out with the boys, but smelling of perfume?

If he's going through depression or some kind of emotional crisis, that could be at the root of it. If he's having an affair, that could be at the root of it, too.

Is he a Christian? That can also effect how you deal with the situation.

If my wife were to do this to me, I wouldn't accept it or go along with it. If she said she thought we should get a divorce, I'd say, no we shouldn't, we'll work through this, and try to find out what the root of her statement was. But I guess it is a little different if it comes from the husband. And it is different if it comes out of the blue, through a text or during a calm conversation, rather than in the midst of a heated argument.

You should make preparations if you need to to take care of the children. But if you just accept what he says and have the lawyer call him, that may speed things along when they could have been salvaged. He should give you an explanation.

Someone said you weren't really married. Are you two married legally? I have a hard time keeping up with the life situations of all posters, especially in threads I haven't read.
 
preacher4truth

preacher4truth

Senior Member
#18
Dec 28, 2016
9,171
2,718
113
#18
NewWine said:
You're covered in the advice department, so I will only offer prayer for y'all.

You are so precious to God that He calls you His masterpiece and He cries with you and holds you close while you weep, so (even though it's so difficult) please try not let your husband's actions make you feel like any less than what you are....HIS!!
Peace
Click to expand...
Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Test_F_i_2_Luv

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
#20
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
31
48
#20
AmmaBev said:
What a shock to be rejected like this after being together for 7 years. Since you aren't married, I guess he feels he has no commitment to the family. You must feel betrayed and worried about how you will manage your two girls. Since he initiated the text, you will have to answer it and begin to summarize your feelings. If he is coming home, you can initiate a dialog with him at a quiet moment. Organize your thoughts and stick to one subject at a time to try to bring some logic into the relationship. If he doesn't want to hear your feelings, you need to then speak with a counselor or pastor whom you trust.
Here is an article from Focus on the Family which should be of help. I am so sorry you have this heart break. Ammabev What to Do When Your Spouse Wants a Divorce | Jim Daly
Click to expand...


I was working on Thursday when out of nowhere I get a text from my husband that he doesn't want to be with me anymore, "I think we should both go our own ways", my heart dropped down to my feet. I have two young girls ages 5 & 2, I don't believe in divorce so you can all imagine how hard this is for me, we have been together for 7 years and now this. I noticed he was distant but I thought maybe he was just tired from work but more often than not he has started to act reckless with his single friends. I don't know what I should do, so for now I'm not doing anything I think I'm still in shock but I cry myself to sleep every single night, all that I can think of is how my kids are gonna be affected by all this, he sdoesnt even want to see the kids anymore he said. And how hard it's gonna be to see him move on without us. I'm breaking apart.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.