My Dad left

[DorotheaSofia]

So my dad left yesterday night without saying goodbye to me and he told my mom he doesn´t know when he´s coming back. I´m hurt and I don´t know what to do and if I can´help my mom cope with the pain. Thankful for prayers and advice

 

[Encouragement]

So my dad left yesterday night without saying goodbye to me and he told my mom he doesn´t know when he´s coming back. I´m hurt and I don´t know what to do and if I can´help my mom cope with the pain. Thankful for prayers and advice

Hi DorotheaSofia Thanks for making us aware of this situation.My goodness what a devastating situation...
I feel like giving you both a massive hug right now....Yea of course I will pray..
He left without even saying goodbye to you.....that's hurtful..seems like he's just reacting to a situation of some sort.
Why didn't he say bye to you??Is it coz he couldn't bring himself to face you??.
God only knows..
Do any of you have any ideas as to what the possible reason could be.?
Like is their marital problems?
Is there any reason to suspect he might having an affair?
I know sometimes men can bottle things up like mental health issues,health matters...even just the stresses of life can make it difficult for some to ecpress how they feel..sometimes it can be money worries...or situations they find themselves in where they feel trapped and just wanna get away for a while...maybe he's in some kinda trouble..
So very sorry to hear this has happened.I assume he has his phone with him..so he can still be reached??
If he works....it might be worth checking out his work place at some point and see if hes turning up..or places you know he goes to often.He must obviously have a place to stay..maybe he's staying at a friends home..
You and your mum must be going outta your minds right now..so many questions must be going through your minds right now.
Yes I will definitely be thinking of you all st this time..and pls update us about things coz we do care..

What about his side of the family??Best start checking around a someone might know something..friends,relatives ect..even his doc...sometimes men may disclose things to their doc but not the family..worth a try..Definitely dont coping with all this on your own..you both need support from those around you..

 

[Cog180]

Must be from a Christian family. Christians have the highest divorce rates.
Evangelical Christians have higher-than-average divorce rates, new report shows
Date:February 5, 2014Source:Baylor UniversitySummaryespite their strong pro-family values, evangelical Christians have higher-than-average divorce rates -- in fact, being more likely to be divorced than Americans who claim no religion, according to a new study.

Sorry to hear it but you should be aware of the statistics. This is largely attributed to the pressure to get married and have a perfect little family in religious culture while ignoring reality.

 

[DorotheaSofia]

Thanks for making us aware of this situation.My goodness what a devastating situation...
I feel like giving you both a massive hug right now....Yea of course I will pray..

.

First of all, thank you for your kind reply and support.
I do know why he left (no affairs don´t worry), but that does not make it any better at all. My parents should be working through their problems together, but he never allows such conversations. Problems are kind of buried and never talked about, which is toxic. We do have support from my godmother who also is a good friend of my mom, so we are not quite alone, but it´s still hard. So the problem is, if or when he does come back, the problems won´t be gone, obviously..
And even if we know or at least assume where he is, what can we say to him?
It really is a devastating situation and I am scared. So thanks again.

 

[DorotheaSofia]

Must be from a Christian family. Christians have the highest divorce rates.
Sorry to hear it but you should be aware of the statistics. This is largely attributed to the pressure to get married and have a perfect little family in religious culture while ignoring reality.

So what? Even if those are the facts this is not very encouraging to me! I would appreciate it if instead of giving me a lecture you could offer some kind of support! Also my parents have not been married since yesterday but for 25 years. What you´re saying honsestly does not really apply to our situation even if we´re christian.

 

[Encouragement]

First of all, thank you for your kind reply and support.
I do know why he left (no affairs don´t worry), but that does not make it any better at all. My parents should be working through their problems together, but he never allows such conversations. Problems are kind of buried and never talked about, which is toxic. We do have support from my godmother who also is a good friend of my mom, so we are not quite alone, but it´s still hard. So the problem is, if or when he does come back, the problems won´t be gone, obviously..
And even if we know or at least assume where he is, what can we say to him?
It really is a devastating situation and I am scared. So thanks again.

Hi it's most terrifying and you must be feeling alone and really confused about things right now.Some men can't talk about "feelings"..and it seems he might have got to breaking point...sometimes it's an easier option to walk away than to dig in deep and confront the issues...maybe his upbringing was similiar where working through things,talking about feelings,expressing them may not have happened much...
sometimes It can be pride...talking about things can make some men feel weak,vulnerable or uncomfortable so its not a skill they really learned...
I guess wherever he is and you were all to finally know...he could also be hurting too but may not show that he is..the main thing is to let him know that you love him and whatever is going on it can be resolved if he is willing to try...(and ur mum too)..yet he also must be will to accept that just walking out like he did wasn't nice and he has hurt you and ur mum.
Yes you're right that not talking about things and just leaving things is definitely a recipe for disaster coz thing Just keep building up under the surface till something snaps or breaks in the relationship.
The most important thing is to firstly know that he is safe...
You and your mum make time to pray together about the situation where appropriate.Maybe someone can go and speak with him about things who he is most likely to respond too..your Godmother??.Or another family member?
Yes it is scary and I know you love your dad..I guess things are at a cross road and also have a good chat with your mum about how things have been with her and your dad and what she really wants.
God does hear and answers our prayers and you are a dear family in a bit if a crisis.May God protect you all and soften your dads heart to open up about things and no longer be the silent type..
Thinking of you all at this time..

 

[DorotheaSofia]

Hi it's most terrifying and you must be feeling alone and really confused about things right now.Some men can't talk about "feelings"..and it seems he might have got to breaking point...sometimes it's an easier option to walk away than to dig in deep and confront the issues...maybe his upbringing was similiar where working through things,talking about feelings,expressing them may not have happened much...
sometimes It can be pride...talking about things can make some men feel weak,vulnerable or uncomfortable so its not a skill they really learned...
I guess wherever he is and you were all to finally know...he could also be hurting too but may not show that he is..the main thing is to let him know that you love him and whatever is going on it can be resolved if he is willing to try...(and ur mum too)..yet he also must be will to accept that just walking out like he did wasn't nice and he has hurt you and ur mum.
Yes you're right that not talking about things and just leaving things is definitely a recipe for disaster coz thing Just keep building up under the surface till something snaps or breaks in the relationship.
The most important thing is to firstly know that he is safe...
You and your mum make time to pray together about the situation where appropriate.Maybe someone can go and speak with him about things who he is most likely to respond too..your Godmother??.Or another family member?
Yes it is scary and I know you love your dad..I guess things are at a cross road and also have a good chat with your mum about how things have been with her and your dad and what she really wants.
God does hear and answers our prayers and you are a dear family in a bit if a crisis.May God protect you all and soften your dads heart to open up about things and no longer be the silent type..
Thinking of you all at this time..

Thanks again, it´s comforting to have your advice and kind words. God bless you

 

[Encouragement]

Thanks again, it´s comforting to have your advice and kind words. God bless you

You're welcome...you are most certainly NOT alone although you maybe feeling alone.God is still in control.Keep in touch here with us ok.
God bless

 

[DorotheaSofia]

You're welcome...you are most certainly NOT alone although you maybe feeling alone.God is still in control.Keep in touch here with us ok.
God bless

Thanks for the reminder.
I will update you, but nothing has changed so far

 

[Encouragement]

Thanks for the reminder.
I will update you, but nothing has changed so far

This has just happened so it will take a little bit of time for things to developed.The main thing is that he is safe.He has obviously decided where he will be staying.Sorry to ask but when left you mum saw him leave so he musta had a small case with few belongings or he had nothing at all packed?

 

[bojack]

So my dad left yesterday night without saying goodbye to me and he told my mom he doesn´t know when he´s coming back. I´m hurt and I don´t know what to do and if I can´help my mom cope with the pain. Thankful for prayers and advice

Do not let yourself carry any blame, guilt or think you could have did anything .. It is common for kids to place some blame on there self .. Be strong for your mom .. It's hard to say from what you've said but sounds like your dad quit , I don't know .. I'm so sorry for your pain and pray you can find comfort in prayer to heal your situation and mindset .. We all reap what we sow , your dad , your mom , ourselves so try to move on, pray and seek peace that will come if you let it .. Always live in hope and we all face hard times , you are not alone and millions of homes are broken these days .. God Bless and please move closer to Jesus , it's His business to be there for us always ..

 

[reneweddaybyday]

Problems are kind of buried and never talked about, which is toxic.

Yes, this is not good. Did your dad tend to carry the weight of all the problems that crop up, DorotheaSofia? Did he try to figure out all of life's problems on his own?


Praying for your family DorotheaSofia. So sad ...

 

[Subhumanoidal]

Must be from a Christian family. Christians have the highest divorce rates.
Evangelical Christians have higher-than-average divorce rates, new report shows
Date:February 5, 2014Source:Baylor UniversitySummaryespite their strong pro-family values, evangelical Christians have higher-than-average divorce rates -- in fact, being more likely to be divorced than Americans who claim no religion, according to a new study.

Sorry to hear it but you should be aware of the statistics. This is largely attributed to the pressure to get married and have a perfect little family in religious culture while ignoring reality.

You competing with the Grinch for coldest heart? If so I think you're winning.

 

[Silverwings]

You competing with the Grinch for coldest heart? If so I think you're winning.

I bet the author of that study is an atheist?

 

[Silverwings]

25 years of sweeping things under the rug and ignoring problems, will def need a lot of prayer and fasting as well to bring change.

Father God this is an unhealthy way of coping, please help this family to rethink their way of doing things, and help them to want and find a better way, do not allow them to take what appears to be the easy way out, but to dig down and do the work that is necessary to bring peace ane well being, in Jesus name, amen.

 

[mar09]

So my dad left yesterday night without saying goodbye to me and he told my mom he doesn´t know when he´s coming back. I´m hurt and I don´t know what to do and if I can´help my mom cope with the pain. Thankful for prayers and advice

I be sure remembering u in prayer.

 

[Cog180]

I bet the author of that study is an atheist?

PEW Research... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha,,,,,,
Do you know what the PEW Research Center is?
https://www.pewforum.org/religious-landscape-study/marital-status/divorcedseparated/

Pew Research Center has been jointly funded by the Templeton Foundation.
The John Templeton Foundation (Templeton Foundation) is a philanthropic organization that reflects the ideas of its founder, John Templeton, who became wealthy after a career as a contrarian investor and wanted to support progress in religious and spiritual knowledge, especially at the intersection of religion and science.[2] He also sought to fund research on methods to promote and develop moral character, intelligence, and creativity in people, and to promote free markets.[3] In 2008, the foundation was awarded the National Humanities Medal.[4] In 2016 Inside Philanthropy called it "the oddest—or most interesting—big foundation around."[5]
Templeton founded the organization in 1987 and headed it as chairman until his death in 2008.

There is not a higher valued / respected theistic research based organization on the planet.

 

[Dino246]

PEW Research... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha,,,,,,
Do you know what the PEW Research Center is?
https://www.pewforum.org/religious-landscape-study/marital-status/divorcedseparated/

Pew Research Center has been jointly funded by the Templeton Foundation.
The John Templeton Foundation (Templeton Foundation) is a philanthropic organization that reflects the ideas of its founder, John Templeton, who became wealthy after a career as a contrarian investor and wanted to support progress in religious and spiritual knowledge, especially at the intersection of religion and science.[2] He also sought to fund research on methods to promote and develop moral character, intelligence, and creativity in people, and to promote free markets.[3] In 2008, the foundation was awarded the National Humanities Medal.[4] In 2016 Inside Philanthropy called it "the oddest—or most interesting—big foundation around."[5]
Templeton founded the organization in 1987 and headed it as chairman until his death in 2008.

There is not a higher valued / respected theistic research based organization on the planet.

Yes, Pew Research has earned much respect. You, however, are new here, and have not.

Please try to be a little more considerate. There is a time and place to discuss divorce rates; THIS AIN'T IT. Please don't bring up the subject in this thread again.

 

[SarahUmbreon]

Must be from a Christian family. Christians have the highest divorce rates.
Evangelical Christians have higher-than-average divorce rates, new report shows
Date:February 5, 2014Source:Baylor UniversitySummaryespite their strong pro-family values, evangelical Christians have higher-than-average divorce rates -- in fact, being more likely to be divorced than Americans who claim no religion, according to a new study.

Sorry to hear it but you should be aware of the statistics. This is largely attributed to the pressure to get married and have a perfect little family in religious culture while ignoring reality.

I’m not one for fighting, I do not wish to fight and please excuse my French, but HOLY SHIT your response...I just, WOW, just WOW.

I think I legit believe this is the worst thing I have seen on CC, congratulations.

But on a serious note, when people go through divorce, they need support, I should know, my parents divorced when I was in the 7th grade, and it has tremendously effected my life. I wish I wanted to die in the 9th grade, and in college, got on antidepressants (I’m back on them due to this COVID stuff), therapy (Back on that too, can’t be on antidepressants without therapy), and just learn what is appropriate.

I don’t reject reality, I believe we are flawed as humans and it’s all part of the human condition. I’m a person with Aspergers, I didn’t ask for this, but I accept it. It is definitely a part of my identity, just as my much Christian and my opinions/hobbies are. Humans are legit interesting, cause we are all different, and I think if we were all the same, it would make life boring, it is through differences we can learn and improve our knowledge, as I believe anyway.

But back on point, I remember hating my stepparents, I remember when my Dad got remarried, I legit wanted NOTHING to do with my Stepmom’s family, it felt like the worst day of my life, I remember I didn’t want to see my half-sister, and called her an “It” instead of “Her/She” because I was legit pissed off that she came into existence, but now, I can see all of the positives God gave me from this divorce and how he has soften my heart. I will firmly stand in my opinions, but I think having a soft and understanding heart is very important for Christians to have. Don’t show hate, show kindness and trying to understand, to better teach people about God. Respect each other, and if they want to live life their way, then so be it.

And to the OP, I can’t even imagine the pain you are going through, my Dad has always loved me and always tells me how much his kids matter to him. All I can do is keep you in my thoughts when I remember to pray (I struggle with laziness sometimes, trying to figure out my prayer life), I hope your situation gets better.

 

[DorotheaSofia]

Sorry to ask but when left you mum saw him leave so he musta had a small case with few belongings or he had nothing at all packed?

He has stuff for 2 days with him.