I have a addiction to porn that is consuming my life and marriage. It started recently when I had some time off work and started searching around the internet, next thing you know I am on porn sites getting addicted! Well it has been 3 weeks since that day and its getting worse! Its getting to the point where it is affecting my relationship with my wife sexualy and moraly. Plesea give me some advice to this problem?
My addiction to porn!
- Thread starter glennavery123
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S
you should have watched a cooking show
there really was no 'next thing you know'
you purposely and with intent went looking and found what you were looking for
how about God? is it affecting your relationship with God? you state you are a Christian, but most of us know that does not secure a sinless life. now that you are bothered by something that has the goods on you, you want to get rid of it
no use saying repent as someone already said...what does that even mean in light of knowing you already have formed this very addictive and habitual sin?
some good advice: are you hiding this from your wife?
do you sit in church on Sunday and find your mind drifting (ahem) 'elsewhere'?
is your Pastor or elder available for counsel? (Pastors do not always make the best counsellor, but too many churches do not have an actual counselor available and cannot suggest one)
well you will have to be proactive about this...just like you went surfing for sex, you will now have to make an effort to undo the harm you have done both to yourself and your wife. sadly, porn participation is not unique or new and even sadder, not for those professing Christianity either
you need help and you need accountability. you are being unfaithful to your wife, which you may or may not know but you are also creating deep grooves in your mind....creating an extremely addictive and destructive habit...and you should pray about being open about it if you really do mean to break out of this prison you have created for yourself
some folks are addicted to food, drink, gambling...whatever. treat this like an addiction and actively seek help
there is no kill switch or magic marker going to erase this stuff from your mind but you can with honesty and diligence and above all, the help God offers, put it behind you.
honesty...not hidden sin. I pray God enables you to reach out and give you the strength to overcome
I expect someone might come along and post some links that might help you.
there really was no 'next thing you know'
you purposely and with intent went looking and found what you were looking for
how about God? is it affecting your relationship with God? you state you are a Christian, but most of us know that does not secure a sinless life. now that you are bothered by something that has the goods on you, you want to get rid of it
no use saying repent as someone already said...what does that even mean in light of knowing you already have formed this very addictive and habitual sin?
some good advice: are you hiding this from your wife?
do you sit in church on Sunday and find your mind drifting (ahem) 'elsewhere'?
is your Pastor or elder available for counsel? (Pastors do not always make the best counsellor, but too many churches do not have an actual counselor available and cannot suggest one)
well you will have to be proactive about this...just like you went surfing for sex, you will now have to make an effort to undo the harm you have done both to yourself and your wife. sadly, porn participation is not unique or new and even sadder, not for those professing Christianity either
you need help and you need accountability. you are being unfaithful to your wife, which you may or may not know but you are also creating deep grooves in your mind....creating an extremely addictive and destructive habit...and you should pray about being open about it if you really do mean to break out of this prison you have created for yourself
some folks are addicted to food, drink, gambling...whatever. treat this like an addiction and actively seek help
there is no kill switch or magic marker going to erase this stuff from your mind but you can with honesty and diligence and above all, the help God offers, put it behind you.
honesty...not hidden sin. I pray God enables you to reach out and give you the strength to overcome
I expect someone might come along and post some links that might help you.
Bingo is absolutely spot on …STOP
If you think you are having problems now ……just wait. The adversary will not quit till you and your marriage is destroyed.
You are having an affair, committing adulty….you can spin it any way you want to justify your action ….but that is what you are doing.
The word says in James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
It’s not a one time deal ….keep resisting every time you get the urge, find a replacement whatever it is ….reading the Word is a great replacement, but find something...... go for a walk/run whatever….just quit entertaining the thought.
Ask yourself ……….What is your wife were doing what you are doing….. searching other guys and getting off on that…….How would you feel???
If you think you are having problems now ……just wait. The adversary will not quit till you and your marriage is destroyed.
You are having an affair, committing adulty….you can spin it any way you want to justify your action ….but that is what you are doing.
The word says in James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
It’s not a one time deal ….keep resisting every time you get the urge, find a replacement whatever it is ….reading the Word is a great replacement, but find something...... go for a walk/run whatever….just quit entertaining the thought.
Ask yourself ……….What is your wife were doing what you are doing….. searching other guys and getting off on that…….How would you feel???
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Have you told your wife? Perhaps someone married can echo this but that seems like a very important (yet most likely very difficult step) if my personal experience is anything to go by. If you have...congrats!
It would be easier to block your phone/PC with that done since the software requires someone controlling it other than you to be effective.
It's only going to get worse...from the occasional female that mentioned it, they definitely feel MUCH more strongly about it typically than males do about how big of a deal it is. Letting it go is a recipe for disaster.
I can't put myself in that situation because I have a history with that and that would come up prior to marriage I imagine.
If you don't need a smartphone for anything other than GPS then you can get an older flip phone (I can recommend models that will work on any carrier that do NOT have access to good data).
You can buy a Garmin for $50 online with 2022 maps on Ebay and use that for GPS.
You can also keep your data plan and ideally switch your sim card in to your smartphone if there is a legitimate emergency for stuff other than that but if you need data for your work then you'll have to do a block
That is if it's a phone that's the issue. PC blocking software is stronger. You can give your wife access to a keylogger.
@glennavery123
It would be easier to block your phone/PC with that done since the software requires someone controlling it other than you to be effective.
It's only going to get worse...from the occasional female that mentioned it, they definitely feel MUCH more strongly about it typically than males do about how big of a deal it is. Letting it go is a recipe for disaster.
I can't put myself in that situation because I have a history with that and that would come up prior to marriage I imagine.
If you don't need a smartphone for anything other than GPS then you can get an older flip phone (I can recommend models that will work on any carrier that do NOT have access to good data).
You can buy a Garmin for $50 online with 2022 maps on Ebay and use that for GPS.
You can also keep your data plan and ideally switch your sim card in to your smartphone if there is a legitimate emergency for stuff other than that but if you need data for your work then you'll have to do a block
That is if it's a phone that's the issue. PC blocking software is stronger. You can give your wife access to a keylogger.
@glennavery123
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Your porn habit is also effecting your relationship with God and is an open invitation for Satan to come into your life. Hopefully you are feeling shame and remorse. Porn is disgusting and unChristian.
The best way for you to repent, so that God doesn't see you're taking His grace and Jesus' sacrifice for granted, is to stop doing it. It doesn't need to be perfect immediately, just start showing that you're working on doing it less with the goal of stopping completely and permanently. God is all too willing to help you through this because the reality is that we are spiritual beings who have to live with our weak flesh.
You need to know that you are literally in a spiritual war and you need to treat it like that. Take this seriously, know that Satan literally wants you to continue this habit because it effects your relationship with God. Sin, especially the willful kind like you're doing, also is a roadblock to receiving blessings that God has in store for us, if we would only turn from our wicked ways and repent.
The best way for you to repent, so that God doesn't see you're taking His grace and Jesus' sacrifice for granted, is to stop doing it. It doesn't need to be perfect immediately, just start showing that you're working on doing it less with the goal of stopping completely and permanently. God is all too willing to help you through this because the reality is that we are spiritual beings who have to live with our weak flesh.
You need to know that you are literally in a spiritual war and you need to treat it like that. Take this seriously, know that Satan literally wants you to continue this habit because it effects your relationship with God. Sin, especially the willful kind like you're doing, also is a roadblock to receiving blessings that God has in store for us, if we would only turn from our wicked ways and repent.
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You are not alone with your addiction to porn. Polls reveal that 64% of practicing Christian men watch porn on a regular basis. We all need to be aware of our Christian weaknesses, Satan is aware of our weaknesses and that's where he will attack us.
Initially, Christian men are free to reject or welcome pornography. But once they choose to welcome porn into their lives they are no longer free to accept or reject and they become slaves to the sin they have welcomed into their lives.
How serious is pornography? When you watch porn you are financially building up the industry, taking delight in the sexual denigration of others, and supporting the industry in every way possible. Don't fool yourself, porn is a heinous sin, would you want any of your family members, sons/daughters/mothers/sisters degrading themselves and doing sexual acts for the pleasure of others?
So, the first thing to recognize about your addiction to porn is that you are part of the industry. Secondly you have willingly given yourself to immersing yourself in porn, no one forced you to. It is your own choice.
Today people say that addictions such as gambling/porn/alcoholism/drugs are diseases. That's nonsense. These are all personal choices.
You have to recognize the seriousness of your addiction, that it is completely your fault/choice, and turn to God for forgiveness and help. This is all your own doing and decision.
Initially, Christian men are free to reject or welcome pornography. But once they choose to welcome porn into their lives they are no longer free to accept or reject and they become slaves to the sin they have welcomed into their lives.
How serious is pornography? When you watch porn you are financially building up the industry, taking delight in the sexual denigration of others, and supporting the industry in every way possible. Don't fool yourself, porn is a heinous sin, would you want any of your family members, sons/daughters/mothers/sisters degrading themselves and doing sexual acts for the pleasure of others?
So, the first thing to recognize about your addiction to porn is that you are part of the industry. Secondly you have willingly given yourself to immersing yourself in porn, no one forced you to. It is your own choice.
Today people say that addictions such as gambling/porn/alcoholism/drugs are diseases. That's nonsense. These are all personal choices.
You have to recognize the seriousness of your addiction, that it is completely your fault/choice, and turn to God for forgiveness and help. This is all your own doing and decision.
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I still have a strong relationship with god!
I am still very close to god and attended church every weekend asking for forgiveness!
My wife does know about it but doesn't know how serious it is! I am afraid also to tell my pastor and elders of the church about my situation due to shame! I am trying to pray and fast to change my ways but it seems very hard but I have faith in god!
I am still very close to god and attended church every weekend asking for forgiveness!
My wife does know about it but doesn't know how serious it is! I am afraid also to tell my pastor and elders of the church about my situation due to shame! I am trying to pray and fast to change my ways but it seems very hard but I have faith in god!
Quick Update
I have taken responsibilities in may hands and decided to stop watching porn! It has been 3 days since the last time I watched it so things are looking good so far but their are things in my mind that trigger me to wanting to watch it! I am fighting the devil in my head on this drug called pornography! I have also told my wife about my demons and she is also praying for me and helping me out!
Thanks you so much everybody for the kind words! Long road ahead but I am willing to fight it!
I have taken responsibilities in may hands and decided to stop watching porn! It has been 3 days since the last time I watched it so things are looking good so far but their are things in my mind that trigger me to wanting to watch it! I am fighting the devil in my head on this drug called pornography! I have also told my wife about my demons and she is also praying for me and helping me out!
Thanks you so much everybody for the kind words! Long road ahead but I am willing to fight it!
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K
The fact that you admitted it is huge. Most don’t even take that step. So understand that you have already made tremendous progress.
However, of course, don’t stop there. Now is not the time to relax or pat yourself on the back. The above advice is all good and I echo it. Especially the advice Chester mentioned about an accountability partner.
You can also keep a journal of how you deal with each instance of temptation. When the temptation creeps up on you, write down how you dealt with it. Date, time, everything. Include the details.
And by the way, this practice applies whether you succeed or fail. Don’t just write down the triumphs; write down the failures, too. If you give in, then write down those details. And leave nothing out. It may be disgusting to write all that, but perhaps you need to write it all down so you can look at it and face what you’re doing. This is a way to hold YOURSELF accountable but also to track your progress.
Lastly, nothing and I mean nothing happens without the prayerful request of the Holy Spirit to intercede on your behalf. If you haven’t already made prayer a daily and constant presence in your life, that’s a good place to devote your energy this week.
Stay strong. Rely on God to cover for your weaknesses.
However, of course, don’t stop there. Now is not the time to relax or pat yourself on the back. The above advice is all good and I echo it. Especially the advice Chester mentioned about an accountability partner.
You can also keep a journal of how you deal with each instance of temptation. When the temptation creeps up on you, write down how you dealt with it. Date, time, everything. Include the details.
And by the way, this practice applies whether you succeed or fail. Don’t just write down the triumphs; write down the failures, too. If you give in, then write down those details. And leave nothing out. It may be disgusting to write all that, but perhaps you need to write it all down so you can look at it and face what you’re doing. This is a way to hold YOURSELF accountable but also to track your progress.
Lastly, nothing and I mean nothing happens without the prayerful request of the Holy Spirit to intercede on your behalf. If you haven’t already made prayer a daily and constant presence in your life, that’s a good place to devote your energy this week.
Stay strong. Rely on God to cover for your weaknesses.
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One thing to remember about pornography, it is not a sin that is isolated to the viewer. When one begins viewing pornography, they support the porn industry. Your money is building the industry. The evil of their industry has no bounds. Besides destroying many adults, their lives, and endangering their souls, the industry has much more ambitious objectives.
They want to permeate the youth with their smut, addict them at an early age.. And yes, the porn industry wants to showcase pedophelia, children having sex with each other and with adults. Depravity at it's worst. Open your eyes! This is where your money is going and if you are giving your money to the porn industry, then surely you are guilty of harming children.
Remember these things while viewing porn. And, if you and your money are supporting the depravity of children, remember, it would be better that a millstone be placed around your neck and that you be tossed into the sea. And I suspect that Jesus is talking about the eternal sea of fire.
The inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah gave themselves over to every type of sexual and moral depravity. Did God save them? I don't think so, God burnt them to a crisp.
They want to permeate the youth with their smut, addict them at an early age.. And yes, the porn industry wants to showcase pedophelia, children having sex with each other and with adults. Depravity at it's worst. Open your eyes! This is where your money is going and if you are giving your money to the porn industry, then surely you are guilty of harming children.
Remember these things while viewing porn. And, if you and your money are supporting the depravity of children, remember, it would be better that a millstone be placed around your neck and that you be tossed into the sea. And I suspect that Jesus is talking about the eternal sea of fire.
The inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah gave themselves over to every type of sexual and moral depravity. Did God save them? I don't think so, God burnt them to a crisp.
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