Modesty: A Man's Perspective on Ladies Clothing

Lynx · Mar 9, 2015

Meanwhile, back at the dating game...

ANNOUNCER: Alright guys, this question will determine which of you four will NOT get a date with one of these lovely ladies. The question the girls want to know is... what are you looking for most in a woman?

GUY 1: A rockin' hot bod!

GUY 2: Killer legs.

GUY 3: Yeah, she's gotta be smokin' hot.

ZOMBIE: Brraaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiinsssss!

GUYS 1, 2 and 3: *sigh* Those guys always get the girls...

melita916 · Mar 9, 2015

ah no wonder i can't get a date. only zombies want brains! lol

ServantStrike · Mar 9, 2015

melita916 said:

Well then you're in luck.

It's daylight savings time - half the population are walking zombies for the next few weeks.

rachelsedge · Mar 10, 2015

Is it just me or is the "guys are visual" thing a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy?

Donkeyfish07 · Mar 11, 2015

rachelsedge said:

Well we are screwed either way. Either we are too visual or not visual enough. Lol, there is no medium visual

wisebeardman · Mar 11, 2015

ServantStrike said:

im always like that.

Lynx · Mar 11, 2015

rachelsedge said:

The single most insightful thing said in this thread to date.

skylove7 · Mar 11, 2015

Haha......Tell them you live for the Lord.....and all of a sudden the jerks have something VERY important to do! Lol....Thank you Jesus! Ahhh...the Power of the good Lords name, can get rid of jerks from us real fast! Praise God! Sad the name Jesus....can't always work like pepper spray. Some are too too evil to care, that's a scary, scary thing for a single woman in the world let me tell ya!

seoulsearch · Mar 11, 2015

rachelsedge said:

Whenever guys say "men are visual" my retort is always, "Well what do you think women are, blind?"

I'm especially thinking of a dating profile I came a across some time ago of a guy who very specifically described what his future wife had to be--tall, thin, in terrific shape "because men are visual."

Nevermind that he himself was about 50 pounds overweight with a very visible double chin... I suppose he had the double chin in order to match his double standards.

Most everyone struggles with weight. But to ignore your own problem and demand physical "perfection" in someone else is ludicrous.

Lynx · Mar 11, 2015

*Lynx looks down at his stomach...

*Lynx looks at seoulsearch's post...

Hmm...

*Lynx burns his list and walks away without saying a word.

Deluge · Mar 12, 2015

cmarieh said:

Rule #1: No low cut tops, if I can see any part of the skin on her breast it's low cut.
Rule #2: No too short shorts, if I can see any part of the skin on her butt it's too short shorts.
Now that's assuming that we're not swimming.
Example of what is fine:

My reasoning for this is that it's a balance of modesty and comfort/convenience. I understand women wanting to wear fairly short shorts when it get hots in the summer, but if a girl chooses shorts that are a few inches too short it is clearly not for comfort, it is so that people can see her butt. Same thing goes with tops, there is no practical reason for low cut tops. Yoga pants are apparently very comfortable, and while I understand people's problem with them, I am more concerned about the person's intentions.

Therefore, to me, the two rules that I outlined are deal breakers if broken.

maxwel · Mar 12, 2015

Lynx said:

I DO like a girl with brains.

But I have to admit, it's not because I'm so deep....
it's just that brains are tasty.

Nick01 · Mar 12, 2015

I like beautiful women who cover all that up with brains.

But seriously, I'm not that hung up on what women wear - I suspect if women were allowed to dress as they wanted without having to constantly wonder what men wanted them to wear or not wear (either in the 'flaunt it' direction or in the modesty direction), 90% of the problems would solve themselves anyway.

I've also wondered whether we give undue interest in asking women to dress modestly, rather than to men simply keeping their eyes and brains in check. I think it has to be both (and in Christian community it should be both - mutual service FTW), but I think we too often emphasis dress over self control. When Jesus spoke about committing adultery with our eyes, he did not tell us the solution was to cover a woman up, or to chop all the unclad bits off. The solution was to gouge YOUR OWN eye out. There's something in that, I think - we're not ultimately served spiritually or practically by women wearing extra clothing, but Lord knows our churches (let alone civil society) could do with more men with a practiced approach to self control.

All that to say - I like a woman who dresses sensibly, by which I mean a woman who dresses without an explicit desire to pull men, but also who doesn't dress simply out of a 'lowest-common denominator' mindset. I just want to see 'you', and to have a sense of you as a person. Under or over-valuation of your physical beauty is just as bad as under or overinflation of your wit, or your intellect, or your creative skills, or whatever.

cmarieh · Mar 13, 2015

Nick01 said:

I like beautiful women who cover all that up with brains.

But seriously, I'm not that hung up on what women wear - I suspect if women were allowed to dress as they wanted without having to constantly wonder what men wanted them to wear or not wear (either in the 'flaunt it' direction or in the modesty direction), 90% of the problems would solve themselves anyway.

I've also wondered whether we give undue interest in asking women to dress modestly, rather than to men simply keeping their eyes and brains in check. I think it has to be both (and in Christian community it should be both - mutual service FTW), but I think we too often emphasis dress over self control. When Jesus spoke about committing adultery with our eyes, he did not tell us the solution was to cover a woman up, or to chop all the unclad bits off. The solution was to gouge YOUR OWN eye out. There's something in that, I think - we're not ultimately served spiritually or practically by women wearing extra clothing, but Lord knows our churches (let alone civil society) could do with more men with a practiced approach to self control.

All that to say - I like a woman who dresses sensibly, by which I mean a woman who dresses without an explicit desire to pull men, but also who doesn't dress simply out of a 'lowest-common denominator' mindset. I just want to see 'you', and to have a sense of you as a person. Under or over-valuation of your physical beauty is just as bad as under or overinflation of your wit, or your intellect, or your creative skills, or whatever.

I can honestly say that I have never thought of modesty being in the way you described. It really makes me stop and think that we control how we see or feel something. I need to really think about this one for a while.

AgnusDei · Mar 13, 2015

Modesty.

This is an example of it.

Nick01 · Mar 13, 2015

^ I'm curious about whether we could or would post a picture of a 'modest man', and if so, what it would look like?

VioletReigns · Mar 13, 2015

I would like to ask those guys who feel they are qualified to judge what is "immodest apparel" -
Are you a man who requires his girlfriend or wife to dress modestly but you yourself won’t stop gawking at scantily clad females and viewing porn online?

I truly hope you answer NO to this.

Deluge · Mar 14, 2015

Nick01 said:

I would be more curious to see someone post a picture of an 'immodest man'. I don't really see how men can dress immodestly. Maybe women can answer this, is there anything that guys can wear that is immodest, or is walking around without a shirt on as close as it gets?

cmarieh · Mar 14, 2015

Well, I think when guys walk around with their pants half falling off is immodest. I also believe when they were too tight of clothing is immodest.

Lynx · Mar 14, 2015

Please please PLEASE don't post any pics of guys with their shirts off. Around here in the summer and fall guys like to mow the yard with no shirts. All I can say is some people should not be going around without a shirt.

Sometimes I wonder if my sight will ever return. >.<

Modesty: A Man's Perspective on Ladies Clothing

Folksy yet erudite

Senior Member

ServantStrike

Guest

Senior Member

Donkeyfish07

Guest

Banned

Folksy yet erudite

skylove7

Guest

OutWrite Trouble

Folksy yet erudite

Member

Senior Member

Senior Member

cmarieh

Guest

AgnusDei

Guest

Senior Member

VioletReigns

Guest

Member

cmarieh

Guest

Folksy yet erudite