Mentors

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selenah2

New member
Jun 19, 2019
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#1
Why do Christian mentors abandon the people they are mentoring?
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
6,070
3,461
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#2
A little background might be helpful. You are asking for a specific answer to a vague scenario.
 

selenah2

New member
Jun 19, 2019
23
9
3
#3
A little background might be helpful. You are asking for a specific answer to a vague scenario.
Why do Christian’s mentor people for short periods of time but then after a while they stop/lose interest. Like the relationships are disposable. Like it’s not convenient anymore so they just quite pursuing a relationship and mentor ship with someone. I’ve seen this happen multiple times.
 

crossnote

Senior Member
Nov 24, 2012
30,770
3,679
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#5
Why do Christian’s mentor people for short periods of time but then after a while they stop/lose interest. Like the relationships are disposable. Like it’s not convenient anymore so they just quite pursuing a relationship and mentor ship with someone. I’ve seen this happen multiple times.
Am I wrong in guessing that this is about someone who broke up with you after a time of mentoring and now you are hurt?
 

wattie

Senior Member
Feb 24, 2009
3,259
1,150
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New Zealand
#6
I have encountered this also. Sometimes it was because they are not from here and would go back to their own country.. like a missionary coming here for a time and then completing the work or being called back. Other times the mentor wanted to get to a point where I could take the lead and they step back.
 
Jan 17, 2020
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#7
I think losing trust in the mentor shows up in subtle ways and ends naturally. As I grew older all of my mentors proved to be clueless.
 
May 23, 2020
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#8
The bible says many are called and few are chosen.
1.Some mentors do things for rewards, where there are no accolades they don't pour their heart out. Nobody's watching.
2.Some students ask the same questions over and over.Lack of growth.
3. Some students are doing things just to kill time, mentors can sense that.
4. Some learners/students do not believe fully in God.
 
Mar 28, 2016
15,954
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#9
Why do Christian’s mentor people for short periods of time but then after a while they stop/lose interest. Like the relationships are disposable. Like it’s not convenient anymore so they just quite pursuing a relationship and mentor ship with someone. I’ve seen this happen multiple times.
I would offer.

Familiarity can breed contempt hatred and murder Hot or cold keeps the body moving. lukewarm cast out some friends.

It is another reason Christ spoke in parable to represent the hidden manna . the bread of unfamiliarity to stop the murmurers the "Luke Warmers"

"Manna" literally mean "what is it?" Those of his home town sought to kill they had a another idea of familiarity They cast him out as a stranger looking for another .
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,623
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#10
I think losing trust in the mentor shows up in subtle ways and ends naturally. As I grew older all of my mentors proved to be clueless.
That's funny... most teenagers think the same of their parents, until they themselves grow up.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
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#11
Why do Christian mentors abandon the people they are mentoring?
Sometimes life just changes. Schedules and commitments don’t line up forever. I enjoyed having a mentor. Although it was my life that got too hectic and couldn’t find time to meet, I still valued the times we had. I hope to help someone else as he helped me when I first gave my life to Christ.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,623
13,867
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#12
Why do Christian mentors abandon the people they are mentoring?
A mentoring relationship needs boundaries, goals, and agreed-upon expectations in order to be effective. Without these things, it is usually misunderstood and often ends in hurt to one or both parties. Mentoring should not simply be open-ended.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,191
30,326
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#13
Why do Christian’s mentor people for short periods of time but then after a while they stop/lose interest. Like the relationships are disposable. Like it’s not convenient anymore so they just quite pursuing a relationship and mentor ship with someone. I’ve seen this happen multiple times.
Try looking at it from a different perspective, and ask the question of: why do people seek help when they are unwilling to take any of the many suggestions offered with the hope the other is sincere in their desire for change? It has been a while since you posted, which makes me wonder how you are doing, especially since in your last few posts you mentioned that you are still drinking and depressed.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#14
because they have learned their lessons?
A teacher is not meant to teach a student forever. After the student has learned, they move on. Otherwise youd just be stuck in the first grade forever right?

Probably with the mentor they have found someone else to mentor and or believe that you are capable of flying independently. Dont take it personally, it means you've grown! .
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,284
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#15
As someone who has mentored many...
All that has been said above about mentors is true...

But many mentors get called on to mentor someone who really don't understand the role.... and likewise many mentees don't understand the role either.

Mentoring someone is not a Rabbi/telmedeme type relationship...it's a part time thing.
The mentees need to have good, well thought out questions when meeting their mentor.
Mentees also need to progress... when they don't they usually get cut off from more mentoring. (Not always the best answer but very common)

Mentors are people too... meaning they have limits and they usually have life going on that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the mentees.
 

JaumeJ

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2011
21,465
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#16
Even birds will push their offspring out of the nest when it is time.