Maybe my Sins are the reason why. Help me!

[Emiliasantos]

No matter how much I try
I can't feel God
And for this I cry
Because the only thing I feel is fear
And this I can not bear
My fear eats me up day and night
It has left me to wonder with no sight
I can't feel God
And trust me I have tried
I am devoted in feeling you Lord
And seeing no results make me cry

I understand that I am not perfect
And sin has distanced us
I wish my life could reset
So that once more I can have your trust
I can't feel God in any way
And I don't know if this is a sign
That He has sent me away
Away from his side

Never said I was a poet. This is just how I feel

 

[Mii]

Psalms 10:1 David sort of had a question..."Why standest thou afar off, O LORD?

There are times where I have felt as you have and that's what goes through my mind. That psalm and that question. I'm not sure if that's the only place it is, I thought for sure it was later in Psalms.


Sometimes for me, it is encouraging to know that there is a record of people feeling similarly in scripture. So I've somewhat put a lot of the things David said in my own internal dialogue to give me encouragement, that when I feel something may be inappropriate or perhaps a bit exalted...David felt this and said this...maybe that's how real relationships with the Lord work.

Sometimes we are distant from each other. I won't begin to ascertain the reason, except that I'm not sure it's "always" sin. As I grow older, I can only understand things in more human terms. Are there times I'm tired of listening to someone? Are there times I find them boring?

...I at least know that the Lord got tired of listening to the grumbling against him by the Israelites under Moses. If the Lord were tuning me out, or distancing himself from me. Maybe my focus is too inward and not enough outward? Maybe it's not just about our own personal relationship and maybe loving others and seeking opportunities to pour out what has been poured in?

These are things I ponder late at night. I can say that if you get to the point of frustration and bitterness, the primary candidate for fallout will be you. It can happen if you sometimes just go to the Lord on everything and keep things too private. We are a body for a reason...other people have resources to share as well.


It has baffled me at times where I feel distance and it's like my breath has gone stale...FINE! I'll go see if anyone else can assist in agreement with me, if I "have" to include someone else. Lo and behold...it took the teeniest bit of dying to myself but that was the message it seemed. Mostly a relief for me, sometimes a blessing for them.

Like, it's amazing when I share my heart that people say it touched them, and I'm like "oh cool, thanks " However, if he didn't feel as distant, I probably wouldn't have felt the need. I felt like I offloaded something a bit heavy, you feel like you gained some encouragement (speaking of instances in my life).



So that's a bit of how I interact with the feeling you seem to be describing. If I were to put our mutual exchange into practical measurements...I gained more confirmation that this happens to some and that it allowed me to think through the why a little more for myself as avenues to explore more intentionally.

 

[Bingo]

"And, there is much truth to the words that, 'God's Spirit', never leaves us,
it is that ones own self goes away from God. When worldly things are the
master, the 'adversary' seems to be in charge. And, the answer to all things,
lies within ones own self, believe it!"
~Ponder this carefully~

 

[Adstar]

No matter how much I try
I can't feel God
And for this I cry
Because the only thing I feel is fear
And this I can not bear
My fear eats me up day and night
It has left me to wonder with no sight
I can't feel God
And trust me I have tried
I am devoted in feeling you Lord
And seeing no results make me cry

I understand that I am not perfect
And sin has distanced us
I wish my life could reset
So that once more I can have your trust
I can't feel God in any way
And I don't know if this is a sign
That He has sent me away
Away from his side

Never said I was a poet. This is just how I feel

What is this feeling? What do you expect to feel when you are feeling God?

And trust me I have tried

How did you try? what where you doing when you tried?

 

[Emiliasantos]

I guess when I'm with God, I want to feel his presence in my life. Whenever I am praying, It feels like nothing . I guess I'm just comparing myself to others that say that God spoke through their heart or they can feel God's presence in their life. I tried by fasting, spending more time with God, and praying constantly while also reading His word.

 

[Pemican]

The spiritual life has nothing to do with feeling. Its all about knowing, believing and applying the Word of God to you life. It is the Word of God that is alive and powerful. But nothing happens without the filling of the Holy Spirit (getting back into fellowship) through the confession of any known sin in your life. Then grow in grace and the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

 

[Laineinthenw]

The spiritual life has nothing to do with feeling. Its all about knowing, believing and applying the Word of God to you life. It is the Word of God that is alive and powerful. But nothing happens without the filling of the Holy Spirit (getting back into fellowship) through the confession of any known sin in your life. Then grow in grace and the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

As to your assertion that the spiritual life has nothing to do with feeling, I sure disagree with that. The Lord made us to have feelings, not to be robots. King David was always expressing his feelings in the psalms.

To the original poster, thank you for your poem. It ministered to me very much. I am going through something similar. One thing I might suggest, is that sometimes the Lord withdraws His obvious presence from us in order that we may be motivated to seek Him earnestly.

 

[Locoponydirtman]

It could be because you are trying to feel something with your emotions that is spirit. Your emotions or heart is the seat of sin. Stop trying to have an emotional experience and learn and read, and trust what you read.
Jesus died for forgiveness of sins, so take him at his word and believe.

 

[Locoponydirtman]

I guess when I'm with God, I want to feel his presence in my life. Whenever I am praying, It feels like nothing . I guess I'm just comparing myself to others that say that God spoke through their heart or they can feel God's presence in their life. I tried by fasting, spending more time with God, and praying constantly while also reading His word.

Your trying to earn his approval. Stop, and repent. Nothing you can bring because all of our righteousness is as if it were filthy rags.
Just believe in Jesus, who is he? God made manifest in the flesh
What did he do? Suffered a criminals death to pay for your criminal behavior.
Why did he do it? So that you might be am inheritance to him a redeemed nation of priest to his honor.
He did it, you need to stop and rest in what he has done.
Know that he did it all for you and trust that.

 

[Locoponydirtman]

You cant earn his grace. It's a free gift for the receiving by anyone willing to just trust the fact.

 

[Laineinthenw]

I guess when I'm with God, I want to feel his presence in my life. Whenever I am praying, It feels like nothing . I guess I'm just comparing myself to others that say that God spoke through their heart or they can feel God's presence in their life. I tried by fasting, spending more time with God, and praying constantly while also reading His word.

Have you ever felt the Lord's presence in your spirit? If you have and are walking obediently in the Word of God, then you are going through a dry season in which, if you have been born again, God has not left you, but is working in you, although you may not feel His love presently.

I am a born again Christian who has backslidden a few times, but the Lord has always drawn me back to Him because He loves me and has mercy on me. However, that being said, He has allowed me to feel His disapproval for sin when I have knowingly walked in it. My slate is always clean with the Lord when by His grace I repent and walk away from sin. But Satan and my conscience may continue to accuse me of sin that the Lord has forgiven. God is greater than our hearts. His mercy is greater and in time He will rebuke Satan and silence our accusing conscience.

As for comparing yourself with others, it is an easy thing to fall into, but we are not supposed to do that according to scripture. The Bible is the final word regarding your salvation and relationship with Jesus Christ, not someone else's experience.

Don't mean to be preachy. My intent is to help not to harm. I am one of those feely feely believers, but I do not rely on experiences that do not line up with the Word of God.

 

[Emiliasantos]

Have you ever felt the Lord's presence in your spirit? If you have and are walking obediently in the Word of God, then you are going through a dry season in which, if you have been born again, God has not left you, but is working in you, although you may not feel His love presently.

I really appreciate what you said . I always backslide, and growing up with siblings who pray a lot and listen to christian music always makes me compare myself. Comparing myself makes me rebel against God because I usually feel unclean and not good enough . It's just annoying going back to God constantly. I just want to be better, but no matter how much I ask God, it never happens.I have born again friends who are more righteous than I am. To be honest, I do get jealous sometimes. I feel like a good way to describe myself would be as a fearful and confused person.

 

[Pemican]

As to your assertion that the spiritual life has nothing to do with feeling, I sure disagree with that. The Lord made us to have feelings, not to be robots. King David was always expressing his feelings in the psalms.

I did not say we don't have feelings, I said feelings are not the basis for the spiritual life.

 

[Mii]

Hmm, someone mentioned a "dry season"...

It is interesting that it is winter right now. Most of the trees have no leaves and appear dead. Are they? No. Do they appear to be growing? No...but what grows on a tree during the winter?

Its roots.

You will bear fruit (that possibly you will get to see) in due season. There are a lot of places to volunteer and sow well in the community. Tons of churches would love an extra hand. Maybe try a few ministries out?

I get to points where sin looks incredibly unappealing, but I'm also apathetic. There's always work to be done in the body, and some of it can be a bit grindy but when it bears unexpected fruit...it's a pretty cool blessing. The fruit is usually seen in others. It's hard to look in a spiritual mirror and see our own produce. Not that it can't be done over a long period, but we can be pretty critical of ourselves.



What are your interests?

 

[Butterflyyy]

Repent of your sins and then trust in the precious blood of Christ... this is powerful.