marriage partner for your adult children

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
K

kim12345

Senior Member
#1
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#1
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
 
GardenofWeeden

GardenofWeeden

Well-known member
#2
Jul 27, 2018
411
370
63
The Garden of Weeden
#2
I have 3 grown daughters, and I don't worry about it. Things like this change like the seasons, so eh...they will settle down when they are ready. They don't seem worried, so why should I?
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#3
Sep 17, 2018
4,101
3,199
113
#3
I don't have children but if I did I wouldn't worry. Marriage is not a promise. Getting what we want is not a promise.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#4
#4
kim12345 said:
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Click to expand...
I didn't date till my late 30s was in my 40s when I got married. Don't worry. Better to wait then rush it and be worried they're married and miserable.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#5
Oct 13, 2014
6,891
1,960
113
Germany
#5
Time tells. Dont worry about it, unless they wanna talk about it, let em handle it
 
MessageOfTheCross

MessageOfTheCross

Senior Member
#6
Sep 3, 2016
6,344
530
113
#6
Ask the Lord to arrange this marriage, and all marriages which He arranges are as they should be, i.e., the Will of the Lord for your son(s) and daughter(s) (Gen. 24:65). Therefore, He shall increase their greatness, and comfort them on every side (Psalm 71:21). The LORD has said, "I will perfect that which concerns me (Psalm 138:8).

The word of God for the people of God thanks be to God. Amen.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#7
#7
kim12345 said:
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Click to expand...

Trouble with this, is if you are worrying about them remaining single.
They will no doubt be aware if this and it will put more pressure on them
to find someone and marry them, just to please you.

That’s the last thing you want isn’t it, especially if they feel forced into marrying
someone unsuitable just to please you.

I don’t know if this is the case or not but it’s their lives to life, not yours.

Best to ease off the pressure and stop worrying about it.
Oh and marriage isn’t necessarily for everyone.
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#8
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,778
113
#8
kim12345 said:
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Click to expand...
Yes, it should be cause for concern. Doing something about it is another matter.
 
K

kim12345

Senior Member
#9
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#9
Miri said:
Trouble with this, is if you are worrying about them remaining single.
They will no doubt be aware if this and it will put more pressure on them
to find someone and marry them, just to please you.

That’s the last thing you want isn’t it, especially if they feel forced into marrying
someone unsuitable just to please you.

I don’t know if this is the case or not but it’s their lives to life, not yours.

Best to ease off the pressure and stop worrying about it.
Oh and marriage isn’t necessarily for everyone.
Click to expand...

That's a good point . I never, never mention it to them. I know they want a one and I dont say anything.
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#10
#10
Not marrying is no harm no foul. I don't recommend that everyone get married. Some folks are better doing their own thing.
I would worry more about them settling for someone because they have to have someone.
I have a son with high standards, I hope he maintains them and never settles.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#11
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#11
Yea when elders do that they dont realise it sends the message that they think less of them if they remain single. Marriage is not for everyone.

If one can afford to, sure the thing is raising a family these days is hard, not that its always been easy but Ive known two young couples that had to move overseas or to the the end of the country just to afford a roof over their head. That splits up the family in so many ways. Besides as parents dont you want children near you even when they grow up? The prodigal son came home. He didnt go off and marry and not go back to his father.
 
Solemateleft

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
#12
Jun 25, 2017
14,050
4,100
113
#12
kim12345 said:
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Click to expand...
I have three kids and personally never had to worry about this particular problem...
At this point, I am more worried about their ability to choose the right partner to ensure a blessed marriage that lasts thru the commitment of their vows (to include their future spouses)...
I'm glad to hear that there is no pressure being imposed upon them... I also suspect that any suggestion to be more of 'a meddling parent' is not the advice nor the direction that you are seeking...
However, I do think that there are healthy and non-meddling opportunities that you might be able to consider to help create opportunities for them to meet others... Maybe consider inviting them to accompany you at church or family and friend social events... Just know, that you can lead a horse to water - but you can not make it drink... Leave it in the Lords hands...

God Bless
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#13
Aug 12, 2011
10,467
2,704
113
#13
if my parents worried about me, I never knew. they never said anything about it. come to think of it, no one in my family ever asked me when I'm getting married or told me I needed to get married soon. I'm grateful :)
 
danja

danja

Senior Member
#14
Nov 28, 2014
2,067
1,887
113
#14
As times goes by and i get older my parents are worried if i am gonna marry or not . And when i get married they will worry if i am happy in my marriage and if husband treats me welll. That is part of out culture also . We are very close to each other .
 
jameen

jameen

Senior Member
#15
Feb 5, 2018
540
150
43
37
Manila
#15
kim12345 said:
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Click to expand...
Better to marry late but you married the right person than marrying early but ended in separation.

Most of the time, the right person for marriage is a long time friend or a best friend.

I don't really advise dating to find potential lovers. I do advise that friends first before date.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#16
May 29, 2013
9,165
1,795
113
#16
kim12345 said:
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Click to expand...
The LORD told rhe zhudeans through Jeremiah, find wives for your sins and husbands for your daughters
 
P

PaulaK

New member
#17
Dec 25, 2018
7
10
3
#17
kim12345 said:
Has anyone ever worried when they seen their adult children alone and not dating and all their peers are getting married. Knowing that your adult child would like a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Click to expand...
I went on-line, to a website, to find my husband. (Yes, he is a Christian)
 
P

PaulaK

New member
#18
Dec 25, 2018
7
10
3
#18
danja said:
As times goes by and i get older my parents are worried if i am gonna marry or not . And when i get married they will worry if i am happy in my marriage and if husband treats me welll. That is part of out culture also . We are very close to each other .[/QUOT

Good things come to those who wait.
Click to expand...
 
eedyaH

eedyaH

Member
#19
Dec 1, 2018
14
35
13
#19
danja said:
As times goes by and i get older my parents are worried if i am gonna marry or not . And when i get married they will worry if i am happy in my marriage and if husband treats me welll. That is part of out culture also . We are very close to each other .
Click to expand...
Same here. My parents will always worry about me even if I'm 80 years old. To them, I am their child until the end of time. It's part of our culture.
 
T

TM19782017

Active member
#20
Dec 15, 2018
256
158
43
#20
My opinion:

The term boyfriend/girlfriend is only a temporary person that most of us encounter on our quest to finding who is right for us.....Yes, the peer pressure to feel like part of the crew is a strong pull but, if something doesn't feel right to someone, they should follow their gut always.
All things work out in time and having patience is the absolutely hardest virtue to master. Especially in 2019.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.