I am in an uncomfortable situation at the moment in my family. My parents caught my brother smoking pot, he lied and said it was the first time he had smoked it, my parents asked me if I'd ever seen him smoke it before and I said no. I don't think it's my place to tell my parents what he does. Afterwards, I told him that he should be honest with our parents because their going to find out sooner or later and him telling them will get him in less trouble compared to them catching him smoking it again. He's 20 years old - he needs to be able to reflect on his actions and choose to be honest for himself or he's going to continue doing bad things and not learn anything from it. Lying to them is going to backfire on him, but I'm afraid that that will push him further away because getting in even more trouble is going to make him even angrier at our parents. Me and my brother are really close and I don't want to snitch on him and lose that, especially since he is moving out soon.
How can I help him get to the point where he will be honest with them?
I realise there are differences in culture and age of accountability, age considered
to be an adult etc.
Over here in the UK a 20 year old would be considered a grown up and no longer
answerable to his parents, unless he was still living at home. In which case he would
still have to live by his parents house rules.
As your brother is still living at home and he should not smoke weed in
the house, then he has two choices. Stop smoking weed, or find somewhere
else to live.
It’s also not good for your parents to involve you in this, if they have a problem with
your older brother it’s between them and him.
Maybe tell your brother you will not cover for him again and to leave you out of
any dispute. Also you could tell him you worry about him and will gladly pray for
him about anything.
It might be hard, but maybe you can also tell your parent that you would rather not
get involved in any arguments between them and your brother, as you love them all
and they are being unfair on you asking a 14 year old about his 20 year old brother.
They will no doubt be very surprised at your reply but it might help them to see that
you are growing up too and are not some little kid any more.
Oh and we all have to learn and grow, things change at a rapid pace once you become
a teen, then into your 20s. You will come to discover that for yourself. Your
personality and opinions change you go from being told what to do, to having
to make your own choices in life. Sometimes they are good choices sometimes bad.
Sometimes it’s easier to just go along with the crowd and do what others do until you
reach a stage where you can think for yourself. Actions have consequences but there
can be a steep learning curve to realise that.
Your older brother is pushing at previous boundaries, pray that as he is becoming a
man that he doesn’t get himself too entangled in things he may regret later in life.
Keep that in mind for yourself too. 🙂