Let the pun wars begin
- Thread starter GandalfTheWhite
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At the evening service tonight the topic is "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The Assoiciate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I upped my Pledge - Up yours."
What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.
A receding hare line.
A young man was in love with two women and couldn't decide which of them to marry.
So, he went to a marriage counselor.
When asked to describe his two loves...he stated ...one was a lovely poet...and the other a fantastic cook making delicious pancakes.
"Oh", said the counselor, "I see what the problem is....You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse.".
So, he went to a marriage counselor.
When asked to describe his two loves...he stated ...one was a lovely poet...and the other a fantastic cook making delicious pancakes.
"Oh", said the counselor, "I see what the problem is....You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse.".
Why did the butterfly not go to the dance? 
Because, it was a moth ball!
Because, it was a moth ball!
...it bowled for thee.Evidence has it... William Tell was an avid bowler, oh! yes...
Unfortunately, all the league records were destroyed in a fire...
Thus, we shall never know for whom the Tell bowled!
That would be a conundrum for sure.A young man was in love with two women and couldn't decide which of them to marry.
So, he went to a marriage counselor.
When asked to describe his two loves...he stated ...one was a lovely poet...and the other a fantastic cook making delicious pancakes.
"Oh", said the counselor, "I see what the problem is....You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse.".
A student made a model of Mount Everest for his school project.
When asked.."Is it to scale?"
He said, "Don't be absurd..It's just to look at!".
When asked.."Is it to scale?"
He said, "Don't be absurd..It's just to look at!".
Did you hear about the Dutch painter that swapped his Cabrilet Smart car for a GMC Savana 2500..to better haul his supplies.
Everyone in town said, "Look at Vincent's van go!"
Everyone in town said, "Look at Vincent's van go!"
I think I drove that van in Gran Turismo 2. It couldn't beat every race, but it was pretty fast for a van. 1,077 horsepower.
One day a broccolli
and a carrot
, who were best friends, were walking down the country road.
A farm truck
whipped by and struck the carrot.
The broccoli called 911 and tried to help his friend the best he could.
Rushed to the hospital
and into surgery..and after a long wait, the doctor finally appeared.
He told the broccoli, "I have some good news and some bad news".
The good news is your friend is going to pull through.
" The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life"
and a carrot, who were best friends, were walking down the country road.A farm truck
whipped by and struck the carrot.The broccoli called 911 and tried to help his friend the best he could.
Rushed to the hospital
and into surgery..and after a long wait, the doctor finally appeared.He told the broccoli, "I have some good news and some bad news".
The good news is your friend is going to pull through.
" The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life"
No matter how much you push the envelope...
It'll still be stationery!
It'll still be stationery!
monkies play poker in the jungle?The broccoli was green with envy.One day a broccolli
A farm truck
The broccoli called 911 and tried to help his friend the best he could.
Rushed to the hospital
He told the broccoli, "I have some good news and some bad news".
The good news is your friend is going to pull through.
" The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life"