I'm in my late 40's. I converted to Mormonism when I was 24. Did all the right things. Before that I was baptized a Catholic when I was an infant. Being that I'm Italian, it was more for cultural purposes. We maybe went to church for Easter and Midnight Mass. After converting to Mormonism, I felt like I found the truth. They preach that to you by the way. That it's the only true church on the face of the earth.
I also noticed I became a righteous puke. While I never spoke openly about it, I would inwardly put down others from different faiths. It's a weird feeling, when you drink that kool-aid. You feel like you're part of God's chosen religion. My wife and I have a son with autism, so it made going to church rather difficult. During this time, I would still try to be a worthy member by going to the temple often and then listening to church prescribed podcasts. Though in my early 40's things started to slowly unravel.
I heard a piece of info about the Mormon church that I wasn't ok with, so it led me down the rabbithole. It was a slow burn, as I tried to make it work through random acts of justification. Around the time I hit 45 I just couldn't do it anymore. I stopped going. While I felt free from the indoctrination, there's been a void since. I noticed that I'm having a hard time believing again. I want to believe differently, but having a hard time trusting. For one thing, I'm not a fan of religion. Spirituality, yes, and finding that connection to Christ, absolutely. So that's what brought me here
I'm looking for ways to believe again.