"Leading"

[Shepherd]

So many times I've heard pastors/preachers speak of husbands being the "leader" of the home but without giving examples of how that plays out. You're left, after the sermon, wondering "how am I supposed to do this"? Well, my wife just gave me a real-life example to share....

We own a business, two actually, but this one is the main bulk of our livelihood. I am entirely self employed and my wife is the secretary/book keeper. So I handle the most of the physical stuff and she handles the office. I asked her, a little while ago, to contact one of our suppliers about a quote on cost and freight for an item for resale. She did and the contact gave her the costs over the phone. She knows, after being in business for 40 years that I don't like to take verbal quotes because they can be something entirely different later when the actual purchase is being made and the client/end user has already received their quote. So I asked her to call back and ask for the quote in an email. She wanted to protest and argue about it but grumpily and grudgingly did it. Was I grumpy right back? No. But it does leave me feeling disrespected or "the bad guy" when she doesn't trust my methods and judgment. How much better could a "leader" "lead" a home or a business if he had more than unenthused "followers"? Do wives who work outside the home for an employer, argue back at get irate with their bosses?

How is a husband supposed to do this " leading" thing when the wife doesn't want to "follow"? And since it's pretty much a no-no for a husband to point to a scripture and say "here honey: this is how you are supposed to behave" then who is going to do it? I mean, the scriptures are there. He shouldn't and he shouldn't HAVE to. Instead the husbands get chided on "Father's Day" for being poor "leaders" while mothers get praises and flowers, and are being left with the impression that "we're doing Ok" with no room for improvement. So, instead of vague generalities, why not give real-life examples of how the following things are done. Feel free to use examples from personal experience. Don't cop out and just focus on the last verse(25) We all should already know that "love" is an action, not just a fuzzy feeling.

Ephesians 5:
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

 

[studentoftheword]

How is a husband supposed to do this " leading" thing when the wife doesn't want to "follow"?

Maybe you have the wrong concept of what submit really means in scripture to the husbands leadership --

Ephesians 5:
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

I say ---this word submit needs to be researched and Spiritually understood ----this word does not mean that the wife submits ---bows down to her husbands every whim -----

This submit here is a spiritual submit not a worldly submit ----like Christ is the head of the church the husband is the Spiritual leader of the house-----so this submit is for the leader of the house as well as the wife ----because you both are suppose to freely be submitting yourselves to God and his direction for His Church -----

Greek word for submit
Lexical Summary
hupotassó: To subject, to be under obedience , submit self unto

5293 hypotássō (from 5259 /hypó, "under" and 5021 /tássō, "arrange") – properly, "under God's arrangement," i.e. submitting to the Lord (His plan).

Jesus Christ embodies perfect, willing submission. As a twelve-year-old He “was obedient to them” (Luke 2:51), honoring earthly parents. In His passion He yielded to the Father’s will
Thus biblical submission never implies inferiority; it highlights functional order within equal worth.

Believers are to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21), an attitude substantiated by humility

I say ------So if your Born Again Christians you and your wife are to submit Spiritually freely and humbly to one another out of your Agape for Christ and His order of the Church -----it is not a one way submit -----

Maybe by listening to this 14 min video will help you in your understanding of this -----as well------ John Piper gives a very plain and simple explanation here on this -----worth listening to

What Does It Mean for a Man to Lead His Family Spiritually?

 

[Shepherd]

I say ---this word submit needs to be researched and Spiritually understood ----this word does not mean that the wife submits ---bows down to her husbands every whim -----

I never said, nor implied that it did.

biblical submission never implies inferiority;

of course it doesn't and , no sane man wants a mindless, timid subservient slave for a wife. Where's the fun in that? Unless one gets their kicks by being a manipulative, controlling narcissist.

I say ------So if your Born Again Christians you and your wife are to submit Spiritually freely and humbly to one another out of your Agape for Christ and His order of the Church -----it is not a one way submit -----

That statement, then, kind of neutralizes Ephesians 5:22-25 and several other scriptures as well..... lets' change it then(for the sake of example)....

Note** this scripture has been altered for illustration purposes ONLY.
22 Husbands, submit yourselves unto your own wives, as unto the Lord.

23 For the wife is the head of the husband, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the husbands be to their own wives in every thing.

25 Wives, love your husbands even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

According to your reasoning about everyone submitting to everyone that should work, no? Or better yet, just so we can end all misunderstanding, just eliminate this little passage of scripture from the Word of God altogether. We all submit and no one is "head" of anybody, hubby is just a "leader"(whatever that is). We will agree that when the wife is given instructions to carry out, by her boss on the job, she is to do it without question but if she's a wife given instructions by her husband, "submitting" to his "leadership" is optional. Sir, the decision to get a written quote from the factory rep, in my example above, was just one of the daily decisions I must make for the financial well-being of my family. By simply giving my wife instructions to call the rep back and ask for a simple emailed quote, I was ensuring that the price and the shipping from the factory would remain the same, as verbally quoted, when the order was finally placed. It's just good business. Ephesians 5: 22-25 no doubt was not put in the Bible just to fill up space: somebody has to be the "head" who makes decisions which benefit and affect an organization, group or family. It's an order thing, not a "I'm the almighty tyrant and you are my subject" thing. And not once, in Ephesians 5, nor any other scripture written on this subject, is a husband told to subjugate his wife; not once: and neither should he have to if the wife willingly submits to his decisions or headship as **as long as the decisions are not illegal, immoral, or unsafe. Should she have input? Yes. But somebody must be the "head" who makes final decisions in any organization whether it be a business or a family.

 

[studentoftheword]

According to your reasoning about everyone submitting to everyone that should work, no?

Your not Submitting to everyone -----your Submitting to what God's will wants ------not to what you or your wife wants that is the Submitting Spiritually even in your business ----

the decision to get a written quote from the factory rep, in my example above, was just one of the daily decisions I must make for the financial well-being of my family.

I say ------With this statement you make here ------who are you submitting to ------your own decision making ideas that seem to go wrong ---at least with what you ask your wife to do ----as you are not pleased with her results

in my example above, was just one of the daily decisions I must make for the financial well-being of my family.

i say ---well with you using the word I here which is EGO -----you have left out your wife who works in the Business and who should be involved in all decisions of the Family business to help you in delivering that Financial well being to maintain the Family ------

You and your Wife are ONE in God's eyes ------if your a true Follower of Christ -----

somebody has to be the "head" who makes decisions which benefit and affect an organization, group or family.

I say ---the head of the Family is to Follow Christ and rely on the guidance of the Holy Spirit not Themselves -----just my view -----

is a husband told to subjugate his wife; not once: and neither should he have to if the wife willingly submits to his decisions or headship as **as long as the decisions are not illegal, immoral, or unsafe. Should she have input? Yes.
But somebody must be the "head" who makes final decisions in any organization whether it be a business or a family.

I say to this statement of your's here

if the wife willingly submits to his decisions or headship as **as long as the decisions are not illegal, immoral, or unsafe. Should she have input? Yes.

Does the headship involve God in the Decision making ---or does the headship think they are so knowledgeable and business savvy that they don't need to submit to what God might have to say in regards to the business decisions -------???????????????????????

Glad to see that you think your wife should have input ------but you chastise her for not doing what you though should have been done ---and seemed a little angry for not adhering to your whim -----of how you wanted it handled ------ your wife should also be asking for the Holy Spirit's advice on business matters ------not just relying on her Judgment -----

This statement you make here I partially agree with -----but I would go further on that and say -----

the Head who makes the final decision is submitting to the direction of the Holy Spirit not just their own judgment -----

But somebody must be the "head" who makes final decisions in any organization whether it be a business or a family.[/QUOTE]

The Holy Spirit will guide your decision making in a PATH STRAIGHT ----without Fault if you totally rely on Him in making your business decisions -----

We humans think we are that smart and efficient and can run business all by our selves ----without God but can we REALLY ????????


Good reading here ----if interested---I just posted this -----

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/gracefulawakening/2025/01/god-as-your-ceo-balancing-faith-in-business/

Surrendering Self to God’s Will

Letting God lead in your business means to actively seek divine guidance in all areas of your business operations. It means making decisions based on biblical principles and values. You will prioritize ethical conduct, serving customers with integrity, and ultimately seeing your business as a tool to glorify God through your work. It is knowing everything you have is a gift from God.

Being a Disciple Through Your Business
It is important to reflect Christ-like values in everyday business practices. These values are integrity, honesty, compassion, service to others, fairness, forgiveness, humility, diligence, responsibility, and prioritizing the needs of others over personal gain. We are taught the “me first” mentality and society clearly supports and encourages it. Reflecting these Christ-like values will not only set you apart as an employer and businessperson, but will demonstrate who you are at your core, a Servant Leader living for God.

 

[timf]

1Co 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
1Co 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

These verses are included in a general context of chaos in the Corinthian church. Most take them as a slam against women. However, they may be taken more against men who are negligent at home and dump their wives on the church. It is also interesting to note that their church service seems to have been a Q&A session.

The husband needs to encourage his wife to mature in faith which means to transition from walking by the selfishness of the flesh to walking by the Spirit in the selfless love of Christ. He also should be making this transition. If your wife does not want to contact your vendor a second time, it is perhaps better to find out why.

Some women resist sounding unsure or appearing to have made a mistake. If this is the case you can have her tell the vendor that she works for an unreasonable boos who needs things in writing. Once you identify the core problem you can take steps to resolve it.

Even though Christians should be on a trajectory to Christ-likeness (Eph 4), we seldom complete the process. As a result we have to make corrections, forbear one another, and apologize when we fall short. Perhaps evem more than being a "leader", we should learn how to apologize and make corrections for falling short of being one.

 

[studentoftheword]

The husband needs to encourage his wife to mature in faith which means to transition from walking by the selfishness of the flesh to walking by the Spirit in the selfless love of Christ. He also should be making this transition

You say here ---the husband should be making this transition -----

My opinion on this
I say -----the Husband better be transitioned himself already before he encourages any member of his family to walk in the Spirit -including his wife -the husband is to set the Example as the head of his home -----just as Jesus did for His Disciples -----if he doesn't then he would be seen as a hypocrite because he would be encouraging his wife in a walk that he hasn't grown into himself yet ---

Faith comes from the Word who is Jesus so you need to be in the Word daily to grown that Faith and
allow that Faith to take root -----in the Vine ------we are just the branches ---Jesus is the vine ----without being grounded and rooted Rooted in the Vine your Faith will fail ---

To mature Christ's Faith to the point of relying on the Spirit for your daily walk is a tall order for all of us as we humans even though we are Born Again in Spirit we still live in this world and our flesh is still weak ---it takes your Faith being Totally Grounded and Rooted deeply in Jesus trusting in Him to sustain us and we have an enemy still loose in this world who is powerful and cunning and has access to Born Again people to snatch Christ's Faith from us ------

I think most Christians will die in their Carnal state ---that is just my view ------

The Disciples ran with Jesus and their Faith failed many times ----Paul struggled with his Faith at times --and Satan attacked Paul ----

So what you say here -----is very unlikely to be achieved by any of us in our physical lives ------my view

The husband needs to encourage his wife to mature in faith which means to transition from walking by the selfishness of the flesh to walking by the Spirit in the selfless love of Christ.

I say
The Husband is to be a Spiritual leader in his household -----and Help his Wife and Family to achieve strong Faith not just encourage her to get strong Faith ----He should spend time praying and reading God's word often with the family to nurturer strong Faith through God's word ------ He should take a proactive approach to making his Family feel secure and protected in times of trouble and chaos ---and provided for daily ----He is suppose to be the defender of the Family willing to put his life on the line if necessary for his family ----He is compassionate --thoughtful and kind all of the time to all in his household ----

This is a hard act to follow for a Husband and Father -----Not many will achieve their Goal of being a real Spiritual head of their Family -----I don't think ----but again my view -----

Ai says ----

A husband as the "head of the house," often viewed through a faith-based lens, embodies Christ-like servant leadership: he is characterized by selfless love, protection, and provision, leading through integrity, spiritual guidance (prayer, moral vision), and providing security, while also nurturing his family's emotional/spiritual health and consulting his wife, making decisions with unity in mind rather than demanding authority. Key traits include being dependable, compassionate, understanding, courageous, and fostering growth for his family's well-being, acting as a spiritual "priest" and protector.

Core Characteristics & Roles:

• Servant Leadership: Leads by example, serving his family as Christ served the church, meaning sacrificial love and putting family needs first.
• Spiritual Guidance: Guides the family in faith, leading worship, establishing a moral vision, and nurturing spiritual growth.
• Provider & Protector: Ensures physical, emotional, and spiritual safety, security, and well-being, being a dependable source of strength.
• Integrity & Character: Exhibits honesty, self-control, and a strong moral compass, earning respect rather than demanding it.
• Nurturer & Encourager: Supports his wife and children's growth, showing grace, gentleness, and affection, acknowledging their unique roles.

Practical Applications:

• Consults His Wife: Makes decisions in unity with his wife, recognizing her vital role (the "heart of the home").
• Fosters Unity: Seeks to avoid conflict and make decisions that align the family, using authority sparingly and wisely.
• Manages Home Affairs: Coordinates family activities and finances with responsibility and care.

In essence, the role emphasizes benevolent responsibility and selfless devotion, mirroring Christ's leadership by loving, serving, and providing for the family's holistic needs.

 

[Dalo]

Headship needs to be studied too. It's about the source of life - not like the worldly head of a corporation. Jesus the living word is our head but yet how many listen and choose to obey. Jesus is not demanding, getting upset, manipulating me to obey. He is not losing His peace or spitting chips when I am faithless, grumbling and complaining, not brave and not bringing every though captive. Being a head is all about a situation of peace arrived at by mutual agreement. God might not mind where I go during a certain hour in a day but He might mind what my mind is dwelling on at that time.
Jesus has placed his demands on us in the word but I either choose life and obey or ignore God and go my own way. Millions of believers might ignore God sometime today even though they know His word. How many will plunge into the sin of worry today not choosing to cast ALL their care on Him.
Some Christian husbands make all the choices - what colour car they buy, where they go on a holiday and what places the family will visit. This is not leadership but more about insecurity arrogance and ego. I know of worldly men that give their wives more choices when it comes to daily decisions and choices.
Jesus (as our head) gives us all many choices in a day. I see few men praying about that colour shirt they will where or what places they might visit on a holiday. (perhaps they should on that last one) but shouldn't a loving partner at least be able to discuss important decisions that they want to be part of? Love bears all things. Jesus our head is very patient and wise even when we deliberately go against His will. SUBmission is to help one another's missions. We need to submit to one another. That DOESNT mean I start blindly obeying what somebody at church is telling me to do. But the word of God tells me to submit to them all - what does that mean then? I will listen to them and ask the Lord if I need to take action on that they are saying. I believe all spouses should do the same. Headship and submission are two of the most abused words in the bible. However when used with the Lords meaning and not the worldly corporate structures we have fit them in - they become a joy to all as we all obey Him and put Him first in every decision making sure that true unity means we go forwards together with knowledge and real understanding as to why we are taking this path today and why we might do it even differently next week.
Next week we might see what happens when we do it another way. To test and measure in a business is a good thing. How many times does the world fall apart in a year if we don't get it in writing?
Culture is different in different industries. Id rather hammer out a small list with a supplier than spend ages going back and forwards in an email trying to lock down everything that might go wrong. This often can take too much time and because you are not there to ask questions you think one way in your head and they are thinking something entirely different from your words in their head. Asking immediate questions about this is often a better way.

 

[Shepherd]

..................................................i say ---well with you using the word I here which is EGO -----you have left out your wife who works in the Business and who should be involved...................................Glad to see that you think your wife should have input ------but you chastise her for not doing what you though should have been done ---and seemed a little angry for not adhering to your whim ----.

Now where did you get those two "facts". It seems your assumptions have taken a downturn The "Holy Spirit" leads according to the Word of God False accusations are not something the Holy Spirit would approve of.

Headship needs to be studied too. It's about the source of life - not like the worldly head of a corporation. ................................................. To test and measure in a business is a good thing. How many times does the world fall apart in a year if we don't get it in writing?
Culture is different in different industries. Id rather hammer out a small list with a supplier than spend ages going back and forwards in an email trying to lock down everything that might go wrong. This often can take too much time and because you are not there to ask questions you think one way in your head and they are thinking something entirely different from your words in their head. Asking immediate questions about this is often a better way.

Sir, as the result of my wife's phone call, the supplier's rep sent one (1) email with the name of the product, the cost and the freight cost. Easy peasy. Even God's word has given us everything in writing; That way, we can go back and confirm what God says on a matter, so we can get it right. For example........

"Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men." Proverbs 22:29
or
"Divers weights are an abomination unto the Lord; and a false balance is not good." Proverbs 20:23

1Co 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
1Co 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

These verses are included in a general context of chaos in the Corinthian church. Most take them as a slam against women. However, they may be taken more against men who are negligent at home and dump their wives on the church...........................................................................Some women resist sounding unsure or appearing to have made a mistake. If this is the case you can have her tell the vendor that she works for an unreasonable boos who needs things in writing.................

"dump their wives on the church" what does that even mean?
Asking for a written quote is always good business, in every transaction, even in a church setting. And a simple email or text can even be used in court. So, suggesting saying something absurd like "I have an unreasonable boss" is advocating dishonesty. None of you seem to have any clue as to our marital relationship and very little business sense. But that's OK. The original post was not about putting down my wife and the above interaction with her, as already stated, was only an example. The original post was an indictment against so-called "men of God".

One of my first pastors would harshly preach to the church men about not being "dictators" in our homes and let us know that if our family was in disarray, all of the fault and responsibility was on us. OK, well and good, but when he invited my wife an I to his home for dinner one day, he openly scolded his wife at the table about her meatloaf. My wife and I were shocked. I personally thought her meatloaf was delicious, and I'm not even wild about meatloaf.. Would any of you embarrass your wife like that? I certainly wouldn't. And I think my wife is best cook on the planet BTW. This pastor also told us, from the pulpit, that we were not to ever go to his wife and ask her to do anything without consulting him first. OK, so why did he often do the same to my wife without asking? I guess that was Ok.

He would also train us on verses like "touch not God's anointed". One day I was with him in a Sears department store and he started raving about one of the clerks, calling him (the N word).Was that anointed? So, what's with you guys writing to me here, admonishing me to make my business decisions through the Holy spirit when none of you, likely "walk in the Spirit" every second of every day and in every decision you make? I mean, what about the preacher I heard once cracking a joke from the pulpit about someone painting a football to look like a watermelon so the black running back would grip it tighter. Or the one preaching against men having "beards". Was the Holy Spirit in those sermons? I like to hear sermons, you know, spoken with Holy Spirit influence, being that the Holy Spirit never goes against what the Bible says and He always exalts Jesus, not racist jokes and preaching unbiblical nonsense: Beards? Really? Methinks all the stupid stuff is about legalism and control.

So I'm going to quote my original statements and questions.
[QUOTE}How is a husband supposed to do this " leading" thing when the wife doesn't want to "follow"? And since it's pretty much a no-no for a husband to point to a scripture and say "here honey: this is how you are supposed to behave" then who is going to do it? I mean, the scriptures are there. He shouldn't and he shouldn't HAVE to. Instead the husbands get chided on "Father's Day" for being poor "leaders" while mothers get praises and flowers, and are being left with the impression that "we're doing Ok" with no room for improvement. So, instead of vague generalities, why not give real-life examples of how the following things are done. Feel free to use examples from personal experience. Don't cop out and just focus on the last verse(25) We all should already know that "love" is an action, not just a fuzzy feeling.{/QUOTE}

The world, including the feminist movement, has constantly fought against men, castigating them as having "toxic masculinity". Respect for men and submission of any kind is regularly discouraged.. Heads of homes have long been the objects of jokes and derision on TV. Government has long facilitated "single motherhood". The courts have usually favored wives in divorces. Women are taught they can "do anything a man can do". Many believe that society doesn't need men at all, like we are worthless parasites or something. I get that, it's the world, the flesh and the devil.
But this junk has now been in the churches, as well, for too long. We have reduced the husbands from "head" of the home to emasculated "leaders" with all the responsibility and none of the authority. The "leader" role, at the very least, is insinuated to mean "You can show the way but your family has no obligation to follow". And stand up there and tell my wife and kids that the way my family is going is all my fault? Yes, men are fallible, flawed people but you can't keep putting all of the responsibility on husbands when the Bible DOES NOT and expect anything good to come out of it. And if you get your theology from jokes or preaching on stupid stuff like "beards" or whatever instead of the Bible, I see no reason to respect your authority either. When teaching on the FAMILY, Paul and peter admonished BOTH sexes; wives and husbands. They didn't scold or shame nor did they put all the responsibility on the men; they just outlined the roles and duties of each. If you're going to "correct" the men in your church, then do the same with the ladies; or are you afraid to? Or is it a power and control thing? You tell me. I've been told thast "insanity" is continuing to do the same thing expecting a different result. Here's a scripture to start with....

For the Wives
1 Peter 3: Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

For the husbands
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

While you're preaching to the hubbies on loving their wives, how about giving equal time to stuff like "defrauding not" and other things that help to destroy families. I even heard preachers(including the old racist pastor) say "nowhere in the Bible does it tell wives to love their husbands" Really? Here's one for that.....Titus 2: 4 "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, Yeah, study your Bibles. Or just pick this post apart and ignore the context.

 

[ChrBrotherist]

So many times I've heard pastors/preachers speak of husbands being the "leader" of the home but without giving examples of how that plays out. You're left, after the sermon, wondering "how am I supposed to do this"? Well, my wife just gave me a real-life example to share....

We own a business, two actually, but this one is the main bulk of our livelihood. I am entirely self employed and my wife is the secretary/book keeper. So I handle the most of the physical stuff and she handles the office. I asked her, a little while ago, to contact one of our suppliers about a quote on cost and freight for an item for resale. She did and the contact gave her the costs over the phone. She knows, after being in business for 40 years that I don't like to take verbal quotes because they can be something entirely different later when the actual purchase is being made and the client/end user has already received their quote. So I asked her to call back and ask for the quote in an email. She wanted to protest and argue about it but grumpily and grudgingly did it. Was I grumpy right back? No. But it does leave me feeling disrespected or "the bad guy" when she doesn't trust my methods and judgment. How much better could a "leader" "lead" a home or a business if he had more than unenthused "followers"? Do wives who work outside the home for an employer, argue back at get irate with their bosses?

How is a husband supposed to do this " leading" thing when the wife doesn't want to "follow"? And since it's pretty much a no-no for a husband to point to a scripture and say "here honey: this is how you are supposed to behave" then who is going to do it? I mean, the scriptures are there. He shouldn't and he shouldn't HAVE to. Instead the husbands get chided on "Father's Day" for being poor "leaders" while mothers get praises and flowers, and are being left with the impression that "we're doing Ok" with no room for improvement. So, instead of vague generalities, why not give real-life examples of how the following things are done. Feel free to use examples from personal experience. Don't cop out and just focus on the last verse(25) We all should already know that "love" is an action, not just a fuzzy feeling.

Ephesians 5:
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

When I think of being a leader to my household, I try to look to Jesus as my example.


I try to lead through service and to likewise be an example through my own love and sacrifice.

I am grateful that my other half loves the Lord dearly so when it comes to important matters we are pretty much always on the same page. That being said, in areas less obvious I remember that I am the stronger vessel and try to be gracious and giving like my Father and Leader who has always been generous and patient with me.

My wife who loves me has a very similar mindset but when for a moment we seem divided on an issue I think it's best to listen before making any final decisions and also share my own thoughts in a manner than could be easily digested or understood.


A verse that often comes to my own mind is "it is a mans glory to overlook an offense"...


I also think of the word cherish... To hold dearly and protect something of value...

I think of the word love.... To give the the point of self sacrifice...

I also remember that when we give, we are to give joyfully...

Then I think of our wonderful Lord who cherishes me, who has overlooked my many offenses and covers me still. Who gave everything for me even when I didn't deserve it...

I just try to be like Him even if I never manage to do it as perfectly as He can.

 

[SomeDisciple]

Was I grumpy right back? No. But it does leave me feeling disrespected or "the bad guy" when she doesn't trust my methods and judgment. How much better could a "leader" "lead" a home or a business if he had more than unenthused "followers"? Do wives who work outside the home for an employer, argue back at get irate with their bosses?

Unless this is something that happens constantly, this reaction seems kinda petty. And yes, people argue and get irate with their bosses all the time. Are you sure you are from the United States?

 

[Mem]

Christ is the head of the church and is the savior of the body (v.23) and the church (as a body) is subject unto Christ (the head), who gave himself (the head) for it (the body).

Ephesians 5:
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

IOW, the husband is the name, the 'face' iyw, of the marriage and the wife submits to that. She becomes identified with him, in marriage, as one with him. So, to be seen 'rebelling' against him is counterproductive to a representation of their marriage.
And this is why Paul advises they wait until they at home to sort out any questions at issue that might present themselves as a wedge between them. And the husband, also, should refrain displaying any form of hate towards her, like telling her to shut up, for example, not to be limited to but especially in any public capacity.