Labeling Vs. Learning: How Much Should We Accept, and How Much Should We Try to Overcome?

[seoulsearch]

Hey Everyone,

This is a subject I've been thinking about quite often as I navigate new territory in life.

Since I'm the only single person without kids in my family, it was decided (and agreed upon by myself) that I needed to learn a few things from family members to act as a back-up in case someone got sick or passed on. The nature of the work is completely unnatural to me, as it involves a lot of numbers and book work. I am the type of person who always thinks in words, pictures, and emotions, so numbers have never been my strong point. If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would be doing this, I probably would have said, "Sorry, I'm just not good at math -- I never have been, and I never will be, and I could never do that."_

I'm the kind of person who will plug 2 x 2 into the calculator -- not because I don't know the answer, but because I don't trust myself to keep that number in my head as I'm adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing 20 more. I was once told by someone I highly respect that I should probably go to a doctor because this person felt I most likely have ADHD. This observation was backed by personal experience, and after doing some research, I could definitely see myself as qualifying. However, I've also read the checklists of a number of other disabilities and disorders and I think I could easily qualify for a few, if not all of those as well. For now, I would just rather not know because if I do have these things, so far I've found a way around them.

It took about 8 months, but I finally had my "Helen Keller moment" when everything my family was trying to teach me finally started to "click." I asked God to expand my understanding, and now, about a year later, I've developed a craving to start learning on my own, and while I have to repeat the same lesson or video or speech MULTIPLE times and still take notes every time, it's finally starting to sink in. I always explain to people who are trying to teach me something, "I'm sorry, but my brain only picks up 1 or 2 pieces of information at a time. I need to have things repeated to me, often with some time in between, because my brain will then pick up different points each time, and I have to repeat it until I've learned all the most important points." And even though I've been that way all my life, it took up until probably the last 5 years that I could actually explain it to someone.

Learning has always been like this for me. School was an immense struggle that I hated. I COULD learn things and I did well in school, but it was an uphill climb on a snowy hill in bare feet the whole time. Meanwhile, I had a relative who could skip all the minor homework assignments, not study 'til the last minute before the major tests, and still wind up with at least a B.

I grew up right before the time that labeling children and giving them prescriptions seemed to be the answer to everything. Now as a disclaimer, please note that I am NOT AT ALL trying to discredit, shame, or criticize ANYONE who has been diagnosed with something, knows someone or has a child who is going through this, and/or is seeking the recommended treatment. I'm very open about having gone to counselors and doctors for depression in the past, so I am most certainly not above a diagnose and resulting treatment.

But what strikes me is that I have no doubt that I would have been labeled something, or some things, as a child, and I wonder how that would have affected me. A relative in my own household was treated for "irregular speech" problems and a supposed inability to read. That person then grew up to not only read 500-page novels for fun, but also has a flourishing career.

A highly respected member of a church I attended was told all his life that he was stupid and nothing but trouble. His class voted him "Most Likely to Go to Prison," and he was able to hide the fact that he could not read right up through his mid-20's. And yet, he later became a chiropractor and professional speaker whose engagements included universities, the United States military, and even the White House.

I know these stories are a bit of a one in a million, but I have two other friends with similar tales.

How much should we, especially as Christians, accept the labels we or others are given as limits, and how far should we push to try to overcome what we can, to the best that God enables us?

* What kinds of labels have you (or others around you) been given, and how has it affected the person given the label? (Only share if you would like to; I know this is a highly personal question.)

* Do you think you escaped being labeled certain things? How did this help or hinder you? (Did it spare you being held back, or did it keep you from seeking treatment you think you might have benefited from?)

* Have you pushed back against being labeled? How far did you find you can go?

Please know that I'm certainly not trying to say that any or all things can be overcome. I am never going to understand Physics or Statistics -- I was getting good grades in all my other classes, but those areas always held my GPA back. I just saw it as a God-given academic Achilles tendon to keep me from relying on myself.

This is just me speaking for myself, but I am personally grateful I wasn't labeled as a child because I'm pretty sure I would have grown into the characteristics of the label rather than into myself (whoever that may be -- I'm still asking God about that one!)

We all know that even the Apostle Paul was given "a thorn in the flesh" that God refused to take away, saying, "My grace is sufficient for you" (1 Corinthians 12:9.)

But in a world where almost everyone seems to be labeled with "something," how much should we pay attention to such "diagnoses," and how much should we rely on God to possibly break past the limitations we've been given?

I am eager to hear your stories.

 

[Live4Him3]

Welcome back.

I was actually wondering where you've been.

Well, as usual, your thoughts are well-presented and thought-provoking themselves.

I'm posting from my phone now, but my short (?) answer would be that we can do all things through who Christ who strengthens us...regardless of any labels anybody seeks to place on us.

Personally. I HATE writing or even communicating via written text.

However, that seems to be my lot in life in that this is the primary mode of communication that I have with others.

Whatever writing skills I might possess, if any at all, are totally due to God's grace.

The full truth be told, I always HATED reading more than anything else. In school, I was one of those people who never studied, and who actually went the last two years of High School without ever bringing a book home with me. My memory enabled me to get good grades and to score well on tests, and I actually had a full scholarship for 4 years of college.

That said, I dropped out of college after about 2 1/2 weeks, and the primary reason for me doing so was that I HATED my English Literature class.

Why am I mentioning all this?

Because when I got saved, I immediately had an insatiable desire to read God's word, and I've basically been devouring it for the last 33 1/2 years.

My point?

That God can give us desires and abilities way beyond our own initial desires or limitations.

His grace, as Paul said in relation to his thorn in the flesh, is sufficient for us.

 

[Lynx]

*Lynx blandly prescribes seoulsearch a list of medications based on her labels.

 

[Lynx]

Labels can be handy as a shorthand way of letting people know "this is what you can expect to deal with when you are dealing with me." They are certainly a lot more convenient than explaining in detail over and over to every single person you meet.

Aside from that they don't have much value.

 

[Magenta]

A highly respected member of a church I attended was told all his life that he was stupid and nothing but trouble. His class voted him "Most Likely to Go to Prison," and he was able to hide the fact that he could not read right up through his mid-20's. And yet, he later became a chiropractor and professional speaker whose engagements included universities, the United States military, and even the White House.

I know these stories are a bit of a one in a million, but I have two other friends with similar tales.

Hmmm, I was just telling a friend here about something like that in relation to me!

I will (largely) copy from what I wrote just the other day:

I dropped out of high school (grade 12) about two months before the end of the year when I moved away from home after turning 18. I had to quit school so I could work to support myself. A few people were upset about me quitting school. They said I had potential. For what I do not know. I have ten siblings, and I would say most of them are smarter than I am LOL. Anyways, I was talked into returning to school for the last two weeks, and I moved back home. However, at the end of the school year, I was ONE credit short of getting the required number of credits to graduate. This is because most of my classes I could just pick up where I'd left off, BUT, I could not do that for English! Which was weird since my teacher had taken me OUT of the class at the beginning of the school year and put me on independent studies. She did that because I was an avid reader. She would assign a chapter to be read for a night, and I would read the whole book in that one night. Haha. Any ways, because of that, even though English was one of my better subjects, she would not give me a passing grade after missing two months of school, and so I never graduated. It did not really bother me that I did not officially graduate from high school. And I sure as heck did not miss not going to the grad dance or whatever they call it. I found such social events to be awkward beyond endurance. I had been working as a waitress and continued to do that after high school, and then moved away from home again.

People encouraged me to continue my education. So after about a year away from school, I went to night school to get my grade 12 equivalent. They called it adult retraining. I took math and English and physics, I think. Physics just for the heck of it, and it was a bust. I thought it probably would be. I am interested in those things but cannot grasp them. I did this to get the one credit required so I could go to college. It was like I had to prove to them I was serious about continuing my education. So I got my grade 12 equivalent, and went to college for year. I was pretty lost, then. And suffering emotionally... a lot. But I did not know how to talk about those things very well, if at all. I missed some of the first year of college near the end of the year, and also saw not much point in continuing through the second year, which I had started. I dropped out of school again.

I was studying design arts. It was more geared to interior design which I was not interested in really at all. But I was artistically inclined and there wasn't anything else I wanted to study or pursue. Photography was a three hour class once a week during that first year of college. Taking pictures was not what I liked so much as developing them was. I fell in love with darkroom work. So I pursued getting a job in a photo lab. I talk a bit about that here:

Free Will - A More Exhaustive Look - Christian Chat Rooms & Forums

This is turning into a long story, LOL. Sorry!

I had a friend I really admired. She was very creative and did a lot of art. Most of my friends were creative somehow. Musicians too. Anyways, this one friend was six years younger than I am. She went to the same college taking the same course and had many of the same teachers and professors I'd had six years earlier. She told me more than a decade after I'd been to that school that my teachers had voted me the least likely to succeed.

Yeah. That is the whole point of this story. They ALL thought that
of all my classmates, I would be the one most likely to fail.

I can't say I blame them. But it doesn't make them right either LOL.

Because I pursued what I wanted to do. I got a job in a photo lab and started on my 21st birthday. I worked there for a year and a half before I left my home town to come out west, where I have been pretty much ever since. I got my second lab job two days after arriving here. I worked there for about five years. Then I got my third lab job, where I worked for 38 years. I just took this from another post:

My first lab job lasted a year and a half. I had to pester them to hire me, since they kept telling me I had no experience LOL. Then I hitch-hiked across the country and got my second lab job two days after arriving here. I had gone to the employment office and they gave me a lead on a job in a near-by city, something the woman said she was not supposed to do. I worked there for five years, until my boss sold a greater part of the company to an outfit that did not care about the quality of the work. I didn't last there long after that.

The day after I received my first unemployment insurance check, I applied at a number of labs. There was recession at the time and people were telling me I would not be able to find work, but I knew I could get a job easily. I also knew which lab I really wanted to work at, and I applied there last. They were not looking for anyone, but I was shown around the lab and introduced to everyone and then got called the following day to start work there the next day anyways.

I loved what I did for a living. I was really good at it too

I do not call any of that being a failure. I have failed in a lot of things LOL

But not there. Not where the professionals said I was least likely to succeed!

 

[seoulsearch]

@Live4Him3 -- Thank you for the welcome... I need to say the same right back to you! My coming and going from this site probably further cements my potential ADHD diagnosis, as my ability to concentrate on different things waxes and wanes for various times.

@Magenta -- I LOVE stories of an underdog getting his (or her) day. One of the YouTubers I watch was told she would never be able to speak in front of audiences, should give up acting because she would never be able to perform, and should give up any ambitions of painting, sculpting, or producing art because she had no talent. And here she is today, running a channel that has her doing exactly all of those things! Kudos to you for never giving up!

@Lynx -- You make a good point as to what the actual value of a label can be.

And I need to clarify here that I am most certainly not trying to dismiss or reduce any actual medical conditions as "mere labels." But what I am saying is that the very community, even if they are professionals, misdiagnoses or incorrectly assesses people all the time. At the time I was in college, Ritalin was seen as an almost automatic answer to any parent whose child was having behavioral problems, and the medical community was just starting to talk about how suspicions that many of these cases were being inaccurately diagnosed. (Not to mention when patients are purposely misdiagnosed for money/insurance reasons...)

But I also have to say that there is a flipside to this flapjack that really got the whole ball rolling for me.

I am starting to absolutely LOATHE the "label" of... drumroll... being "NORMAL."

I know this is probably just me being nit picky or even ungrateful, but I am finding more and more that I run into people who will tell me something like, "I have X, Y, and Z -- you know, things that a NORMAL/NEUROTYPICAL person like you just wouldn't understand." That may be true in some ways, but what gets to me is if the person then seems to think that just because I'm "normal", I am somehow obliged to completely cater to what they see is their own set of special needs -- without ever stopping to think or ask about my own.

I'm sure I've had many incidences in my own life in which the other person is "normal" and I'M the one who is "atypical." For instance, the stereotype that Asians are mathematical geniuses -- and here I was, an Asian who was always failing math classes. I know that's a petty example, but my point is simply that every person has had some kind of struggle that makes them sensitive to something.

Now of course, people have real medical issues and absolutely need special care or extra help -- I'm most certainly not docking that at all. I always try to use myself as an example, as I got to a point where I had to try to explain to friends and family why I might react certain ways or need certain conditions when my depression acted up, so I understand a little bit of what it's like to have specific conditions going on.

But the thing I'm talking about is, for example, a YouTuber I had unsubscribed to because every video became a matter of, "This is what I have, this is how it affects me, and this is how ALL YOU NORMAL PEOPLE OUT THERE should be working around my needs because of it!"

I had to stop watching her because everything was about her, and there was never any recognition of what others might be going through and how she could be sensitive to their needs as well. I realize that in some cases, the person might be incapable of doing this, but I often wonder if people like this have even tried.

I spent a few decades of my life trapped in one-way situations, and now I tend to avoid them like the plague. While I know at one point, we all must sacrifice to serve others -- I certainly understand that -- but what I try to stay away from are situations that are sustained by co-dependency, emotional manipulation, and gaslighting. I have had multiple situations (hairdresser, neighbor, etc.,) in which someone saw me as being "normal" or a "good girl" and wanted me to be friends with their adult child who was struggling. The person who wanted me to befriend their adult child saw me as being someone who could work around their adult child's specific needs. Nothing much was ever asked about myself or what my own special needs might be, so I politely declined any such "offers."

One of my most pressing conversations with God as of late is who has the right to label ME as "normal" -- and what are they allowed to expect of or from me because of it.

 

[Live4Him3]

One of my most pressing conversations with God as of late is who has the right to label ME as "normal" -- and what are they allowed to expect of or from me because of it.

Nobody really has the right to label you as anything UNLESS you give them that right.

I'll not rehash too much of my own past, but I have testified here before that I went through a stage in my own life were I suffered major debilitating panic attacks AS A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN. So major that I had to quit my job, and some days my panic attacks lasted as long as 20 hours or more. I was literally battling for my life, and there were many times when I literally thought that I was going to die. It was complete and utter torment until the time came that God showed me the root cause of the same:

CONDEMNATION...because I had allowed people's diagnoses or opinions of me fashion or form my sense of self-worth.

The cure was actually quite simple, and I know, firsthand, that it works:

I Peter chapter 2

[18] Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.
[19] For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.
[20] For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.
[21] For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:
[22] Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:
[23] Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:
[24] Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
[25] For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.

During his incarnation, Jesus was "labeled" as being a Samaritan, having a devil or demon, being in league with Beelzebub, being a deceiver, etc., etc., etc.

How did he overcome such "labeling"?

By simply looking up unto him that judges righteously or to his heavenly Father.

And what was the Father's assessment of him?

That he was his beloved Son in whom he was well-pleased.

Personally, I couldn't care less what people think about me UNLESS they have justifiable aught against me. If they do, then I'll gladly and humbly repent and make any restitutions necessary.

More often than not (like 90 something percent of the time), however, their "labels" or negative assessments of me in no way, shape, or form match what God is actually thinking about me at those times.

Anyhow, my simple advice to you seoulsearch is to look up.

For whatever that's worth...

 

[Lynx]

@Live4Him3 -- Thank you for the welcome... I need to say the same right back to you! My coming and going from this site probably further cements my potential ADHD diagnosis, as my ability to concentrate on different things waxes and wanes for various times.

@Magenta -- I LOVE stories of an underdog getting his (or her) day. One of the YouTubers I watch was told she would never be able to speak in front of audiences, should give up acting because she would never be able to perform, and should give up any ambitions of painting, sculpting, or producing art because she had no talent. And here she is today, running a channel that has her doing exactly all of those things! Kudos to you for never giving up!

@Lynx -- You make a good point as to what the actual value of a label can be.

And I need to clarify here that I am most certainly not trying to dismiss or reduce any actual medical conditions as "mere labels." But what I am saying is that the very community, even if they are professionals, misdiagnoses or incorrectly assesses people all the time. At the time I was in college, Ritalin was seen as an almost automatic answer to any parent whose child was having behavioral problems, and the medical community was just starting to talk about how suspicions that many of these cases were being inaccurately diagnosed. (Not to mention when patients are purposely misdiagnosed for money/insurance reasons...)

But I also have to say that there is a flipside to this flapjack that really got the whole ball rolling for me.

I am starting to absolutely LOATHE the "label" of... drumroll... being "NORMAL."

I know this is probably just me being nit picky or even ungrateful, but I am finding more and more that I run into people who will tell me something like, "I have X, Y, and Z -- you know, things that a NORMAL/NEUROTYPICAL person like you just wouldn't understand." That may be true in some ways, but what gets to me is if the person then seems to think that just because I'm "normal", I am somehow obliged to completely cater to what they see is their own set of special needs -- without ever stopping to think or ask about my own.

I'm sure I've had many incidences in my own life in which the other person is "normal" and I'M the one who is "atypical." For instance, the stereotype that Asians are mathematical geniuses -- and here I was, an Asian who was always failing math classes. I know that's a petty example, but my point is simply that every person has had some kind of struggle that makes them sensitive to something.

Now of course, people have real medical issues and absolutely need special care or extra help -- I'm most certainly not docking that at all. I always try to use myself as an example, as I got to a point where I had to try to explain to friends and family why I might react certain ways or need certain conditions when my depression acted up, so I understand a little bit of what it's like to have specific conditions going on.

But the thing I'm talking about is, for example, a YouTuber I had unsubscribed to because every video became a matter of, "This is what I have, this is how it affects me, and this is how ALL YOU NORMAL PEOPLE OUT THERE should be working around my needs because of it!"

I had to stop watching her because everything was about her, and there was never any recognition of what others might be going through and how she could be sensitive to their needs as well. I realize that in some cases, the person might be incapable of doing this, but I often wonder if people like this have even tried.

I spent a few decades of my life trapped in one-way situations, and now I tend to avoid them like the plague. While I know at one point, we all must sacrifice to serve others -- I certainly understand that -- but what I try to stay away from are situations that are sustained by co-dependency, emotional manipulation, and gaslighting. I have had multiple situations (hairdresser, neighbor, etc.,) in which someone saw me as being "normal" or a "good girl" and wanted me to be friends with their adult child who was struggling. The person who wanted me to befriend their adult child saw me as being someone who could work around their adult child's specific needs. Nothing much was ever asked about myself or what my own special needs might be, so I politely declined any such "offers."

One of my most pressing conversations with God as of late is who has the right to label ME as "normal" -- and what are they allowed to expect of or from me because of it.

Huh. So THAT'S why you seem offended when I say you're normal.

At least I haven't (or at least I can't recall having done so) demanded anything of you on the basis of your normality. I think.

 

[seoulsearch]

Huh. So THAT'S why you seem offended when I say you're normal.

At least I haven't (or at least I can't recall having done so) demanded anything of you on the basis of your normality. I think.

Oh, I just fight YOU when you call me normal because I'm being cantankerous.🤣

When I wrote this, I was thinking in particular of several women over the years who have asked me to befriend their daughters, with a clear, one-sided intent as to how they thought I could help them.

For example, they would just flat out say things like, "YOU could take HER to lunch or a movie sometime..."

Wow. Thanks for putting it all on me...

It was worse than being set up for a blind date.

 

[cinder]

Gotta post in a seoulsearch thread.

First I gotta say that physics makes the world go round, and I never thought my brain was that special for having it make sense to me.

Also there's a good book out there titled Deceptive Diagnosis about how we've started viewing almost all behavioral choices as mental health conditions instead of sinful choices we're responsible for making.

As far as labels go, categories and labels can be useful as descriptors, but you don't want to let them define or limit you. Maybe we just need to say it's more difficult for some people to do certain things than saying they can't do them.

 

[Lanolin]

for some people (doctors?) it helps but for those it can hinder having a label or diagnosis because it can also suggest that someone will never get better or overcome what they have been diagnosed with

especially if theres some sort of stigma involved. But some ppl actually need the diagnoses so they can access treatment that will help them...its a bit of a two edged sword really

People dont like having something 'wrong' with them they cant explain easily.
But if there is no acknowledgement of something that may be 'wrong' then how can you learn to overcome it.

You may be resigned to living with whatver it is for the rest of your life and just ignoring it.

For me, when children present themselves to me like one boy today said he couldnt read. And I said, ok, but you will learn. I firmly believe he will get there, he might need more help, but just because someone isnt reading at a certain age does not mean they can never learn later.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

I have an unpopular view on labels. I like them. For me a label helps me identify a person or circumstance and gives me an idea on what to expect. To understand where things are coming from.



Labels only become bad when misused. And people tend to misuse them, despite railing against labels.



How you handle a label given (as long as it's not false) can be a hindrance or help, depending on how you look at it.

Personally I found giving a label to some of my behaviors and struggles a helpful relief. Seeing that I wasn't a lone anomaly, but rather one of many with similar struggles made me feel more at ease. And helped me get past feelings that I was somehow inherently bad.

It also helped me recognize other areas I was having issues in I didn't know of before. And by seeing those meant I could acknowledge and work on them.



Some people think labeling something means you're bound to the limitations of it and have to live within its confines. I view it as a way to see where I struggle, which also helps me identify how and where I need to improve.



Sometimes people are able to grow out of their labels, but sometimes they don't. Some people like to take on their limitations to push past them, some prefer to focus on their strengths and make them stronger. Labels help you know those areas and take a more concentrated path.



If a label is bothering you perhaps you're looking at it wrong.

 

[Lanolin]

As someone who deals with thousands of labels each day (I label all the books! ) I can tell you that labels arent always permanent. They dont come with the book. They are just a tool for sorting so shelvers know where everything is and they can find it easily

If one label isnt working, I will relabel it. If its mislabelled I will deal with it. And if it hasnt got a label I will put one on. Labels are stuck on...and they can be removed and changed if needed.

and I recently found out that the labels I was using were fading cos apparntly the paper they printed on goes yellow and I was annoyed at that. So I need to find better labels that fit better and dont fade (and also wont break the bank) its sometimes a necessity when you dealing with thousands of books, not so much for a smaller collection of just a few hundred. Not only spine labels but theres colour codes for the type and format of books. For example all the 'easy' reader books are grouped together rather than shelved randomly with all the others where they will get lost. The label is on the outside so you can tell at a glance what the inside may be.

so it works for books anyway...as for people, they grow and change, so labels cant always be fixed.

Its more the stamp thats permanent.


do we put physical labels on people. well I would say yes some people do, its permanent stamps by tattooing or maybe its someones always dressed in a certain type of clothing. medical diagnoses are for the medical professionals as a shorthand, its not so much use for the person themselves as only they know what the content of their insides will be. Much like do all librarians read every single book in their library? Actually no! lol

so, for the most part labels are just a tool for people who dealing with a lot and want to be organised. I think they can help if they are the right ones to avoid confusion. We all know what happens if you put the salt in the sugar jar.

 

[ChristianTonyB]

I personally have no problems with labels providing they aren't mean, but are meaningful. They help describe the contents of something, and sometimes someone. They may not always be accurate though, so I find it's best to do my own research and come to an informed conclusion.

 

[ChristianTonyB]

Gotta post in a seoulsearch thread.

First I gotta say that physics makes the world go round, and I never thought my brain was that special for having it make sense to me.

Also there's a good book out there titled Deceptive Diagnosis about how we've started viewing almost all behavioral choices as mental health conditions instead of sinful choices we're responsible for making.

As far as labels go, categories and labels can be useful as descriptors, but you don't want to let them define or limit you. Maybe we just need to say it's more difficult for some people to do certain things than saying they can't do them.

Scripture indicates God has given everyone their own peculiar mix of faculties, qualities and talents, as He sees fit. It's a parent's responsibility to find out what the mix is for each of their children, and guide their direction in life accordingly until they reach adulthood.

 

[Lanolin]

In terms of learning

for me I always found learning much better as an individual rather than learn as a group
though schools are mostly designed for group learning, I guess its more economical that way, but its hard for most people to learn with 30' others all needing individual attention and only really getting it...well. I cant recall ever unless you made a special appointment to see the teacher before or after class.

The other thing with learning is that is incremental, and some things take time, not everything will click instantly, but when all the elements are there, it will click into place. So will seem like its instant but its not really.

yet another facet of learning is that it can involve all the senses. its not just reading and writing, though you can make great strides in this area (and saves memory) if you can read and write. Theres also learning visually, or kineathesitically (movement, sound) and sensory through touch. Then theres taste and smell!

I think learning through smell is not one thats really been explored by teachers and schools actually. lol

 

[Lanolin]

bump

perhaps @Seeking-Christ would like to comment? Up to you of course.

 

[Lanolin]

Oh, I just fight YOU when you call me normal because I'm being cantankerous.🤣

When I wrote this, I was thinking in particular of several women over the years who have asked me to befriend their daughters, with a clear, one-sided intent as to how they thought I could help them.

For example, they would just flat out say things like, "YOU could take HER to lunch or a movie sometime..."

Wow. Thanks for putting it all on me...

It was worse than being set up for a blind date.

whats this

sometimes they just cant get out, a lot of people with diagnoses get stuck at home all day. They need to go out

my neighbour with autism has a designated driver who takes him out to the shops because he doesnt have a car and doesnt drive. I mean he can walk but if he wants to go further
and Im not sure why he doesnt take the bus, but its probaly cos its not reliable or just too many random pppl is ovewhelming in a confined space

 

[Lanolin]

if the mums gave me gas money or vouchers for a movie I'd take their daughters
no problem

 

[Lanolin]

I turned down a job though with one provider because it was too far away and they didnt let me meet who they wanted me to care for to see if we had a rapport first. And what they were paying for wouldnt cover the cost of me getting there and back.

if you talking about a diagnosis. I thought I could do it at their home but it turns out no. If you want to help its probably better to be a teacher aide if the child is young. if you the same age just find somewhere safe to hang out, everyone needs friends.

also parents need respite. Theres also special summer camps for those who are diagnosed, where they can simply have fun in a low pressure environment away from parents but not like a bootcamp.