Intentional unkindness, people who intentionally withhold approval in order to have power. Years ago I met a sweet woman in my divorce care class. She was lovely. She had turned to alcohol to numb the pain in her marriage. She said everyone thought she had a great husband, someone who would go out of his way to help other. Over the weeks we learned pieces of each others' stories. She said in the twenty years of marriage, he had never once told her she looked lovely. You could see the raw pain in her eyes. She tried everything to get his approval. She took cooking classes to make gourmet food. He would see her looking for approval. She said he'd eat, look at her and get up from the table without a words. She worked out, dressed up and would ask him how she looked. He would shrug and tell her to hurry up. She had a breakdown. The church blamed her for finally leaving but she said it was killing her. She was so sad and broken. It was a horrible type of cruelty. She could no longer bear to see what was reflected in his eyes.
In my professional life I had a lot of women in my office, and this one personified the pain of someone who had partnered with a person who preferred control to intimacy/connection. This made my blood boil. She was shunned and he was pitied. This is the sort of injustice that is intolerable.