It's good to be single.

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seoulsearch said:
I don't know if it was as bad in past generations, but I think dating nowadays is basically just people writing out a checklist and trying to find someone who ticks all the boxes, both for men and for women.

And I've said many times that I think Christians are actually worse that secular dates, because every Christian is told God only wants "the best" for them -- which they assume is synonymous with what THEY think is best for them.

I have a guy friend who has told me for over 20 years, "God may not send you what you want, but He'll send you what you need."

Thanks for the well-wishes.

Funny that you added in "a well-off Christian guy."

I don't need one who's well-off -- I just need one who can stick to a budget and pay for his own things. In the relationships I had, I always had to pay because they spend their money on things like clothes, games, booze, and smokes, and so I always wound up paying their actual bills.

Never. again.

If I can help it, at least. And he doesn't have to worry about paying for me. I've heard of some communities who don't want women to work -- but then how is she supposed to be able to support herself if her husband isn't good with money, and what if he runs off with someone else?

I never had much money either. The only difference is that my parents taught me to hang on to a good majority of it, because life is expensive -- and unpredictable.
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I believe God sends you what you need and not what you want....there is maturity in knowing that,...as you get to know that person, and love them more than yourself, you realize they are what you want as well. God knows what he is doing...when we try to control every aspect of our lives, that isn't trusting God.
 
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MsMediator said:
Right, I cannot think of any modern woman looking for love who grew up in a non-polygamous society who would choose polygamy, though there are always some exceptions like people who choose open marriages and other arrangements.
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I would wonder if some kind of satanic worship was involved or if Solomon Some How god away from God and started persuing self lusts and self fulfillment
 
Kireina said:
Being single is awesome but marriage is amazing too 😊
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I couldn't call being single awesome unless I was awwing in pitty, as for marriage, I have no idea what that is like yet. Imagine it has to be better than being alone.
 
I_am_Canadian said:
I couldn't call being single awesome unless I was awwing in pitty, as for marriage, I have no idea what that is like yet. Imagine it has to be better than being alone.
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If you can't be happy alone, the probability of being happy in a marriage is vanishingly small. Or at least that's the impression I have gotten from watching both married and single people, and single people who get married. The ones who cannot be happy alone almost never find happiness in a relationship.
 
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I_am_Canadian said:
I couldn't call being single awesome unless I was awwing in pitty, as for marriage, I have no idea what that is like yet. Imagine it has to be better than being alone.
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Life looks different for each of us...that's my personal experience 😅
 
Lynx said:
If you can't be happy alone, the probability of being happy in a marriage is vanishingly small. Or at least that's the impression I have gotten from watching both married and single people, and single people who get married. The ones who cannot be happy alone almost never find happiness in a relationship.
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The problem is that I am alone 24 hours a day 7 days a week, 365 days a year, it's boring, lonely and depressing. I mean if I had people in my life than I probably could find some joy in some alone time, but at this point all I have is alone time.
 
I_am_Canadian said:
The problem is that I am alone 24 hours a day 7 days a week, 365 days a year, it's boring, lonely and depressing. I mean if I had people in my life than I probably could find some joy in some alone time, but at this point all I have is alone time.
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Why is that? Do you get out of the house?
 
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Hmm interesting. I’m turning 61 tomorrow, ( see this big writing, lol). and have been separated for 2 years waiting for God to open the doors for me to be able to be fully free. Financially I’m poor, especially in this economy. So I am praying for a miracle. I was a pastors wife for 38 years. And was separated until my daughter moved out of our retirement house she was renting, I was living with her. Then my ex to be moved into the house on me. I had no choice because. I have no income. I have fibromyalgia and it keeps me from working a regular job. So I have been trapped in a marriage where there is no love for me, and I’m just not appreciated. I have the divorce papers in my computer ready to file, but have volunteered all my life working in the church. And giving of myself, and so I know God is going to help me.
so I don’t know if I am single or not. I just know that I had all I can take and had to remove myself from the situation. After much prayer, crying and loneliness. So I’m just standing still…. Living on one side of the house while my ex to be lives on the other. God will show me when it is time. My vision for working for God, just encouraging people is still bubbling in my soul. And I know God had much more for me.
I was watching the story of Laura Ingles Wilder the other day. And they stated that she didn’t start writing the “Little house on the Prairie “ books until she was 65. It was very encouraging to hear that because as you start to grow a little older, you start feeling less useful but when I think about it, I still have a good 30 years left at least. 😘🙃.
 
Lynx said:
Yeah. I get that feeling every time somebody at the job is talking about an ex-somebody and how "I'm gonna get (ex) just you wait! I'll sock (ex) with so much legal junk (ex) won't know what hit (ex)!"

Mmmm, I just LOVE being single!

Something closer to what you related: One day at church I saw a five year old boy run past, with his mother in pursuit. A minute later she came back through with boy in tow. She glanced at me with a harried look.

I observed, "You know, people tell me that I need to settle down, find a good woman and raise some kids."

She said, "Yeah, no. If you want a kid, get a dog and keep it for five years first."
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It’s tough when you are younger trying to work, keep a house and if you have the wrong partner don’t dare get married. There is something special though hen you find someone you have a lot in common it’s and the they are more of a help and comfort than stingy and narcissistic.
 
MsMediator said:
Why is that? Do you get out of the house?
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not often, when I was growing up I had to deal with bullies at school on a regular basis, by the time I was 8 I was starting to isolate from people and by the time I was 13 I was attempting suicide, when I started isolating myself I spent all my time watching tv or playing movies and unfortunately that habit has followed me into adulthood. Now I have been on ODSP for over 20 years and I can't afford to go any where and being 440lbs finding it harder and harder to find a job to get off the system.
 
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OneOfHis said:
It is good to be single. It is also good to marry.


Both can also be a stumbling or complicated if we are holding on to a bad mindset.


Wether I stay blessed as a single man or am blessed with a woman who I'd appreciate who also would appreciate me in marriage, I have a lot to be grateful for.
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Yes. Amen.
 
SomeDisciple said:
I met a beautiful woman yesterday. She looked amazing; she had this long dirty-blonde hair, a nice smile, blah-blah-blah. Of course she has these tight pants on, because that's what they do.

We're stuck in the same room, so we get talking and she was like "you married/ have kids?" and I was like "nope. not really interested in that at the moment" and she was like "DONT GET MARRIED IT"S A WASTE OF TIME!"

It's those little moments, when I think... You know what, it's good to be single. Praise the Lord.
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Be careful not to cast the pearls before the swine!
Marriage is Holy ground
 
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I_am_Canadian said:
not often, when I was growing up I had to deal with bullies at school on a regular basis, by the time I was 8 I was starting to isolate from people and by the time I was 13 I was attempting suicide, when I started isolating myself I spent all my time watching tv or playing movies and unfortunately that habit has followed me into adulthood. Now I have been on ODSP for over 20 years and I can't afford to go any where and being 440lbs finding it harder and harder to find a job to get off the system.
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We all need a start one day @ a time
 
Lynx said:
Yeah. I get that feeling every time somebody at the job is talking about an ex-somebody and how "I'm gonna get (ex) just you wait! I'll sock (ex) with so much legal junk (ex) won't know what hit (ex)!"

Mmmm, I just LOVE being single!

Something closer to what you related: One day at church I saw a five year old boy run past, with his mother in pursuit. A minute later she came back through with boy in tow. She glanced at me with a harried look.

I observed, "You know, people tell me that I need to settle down, find a good woman and raise some kids."

She said, "Yeah, no. If you want a kid, get a dog and keep it for five years first."
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Agree on the dog part.. i should have stuck with a dog instead of having a kid.. (le sigh)
 
Easier for a single man's attention to be undivided in the things of the Kingdom, or so I thought.

It can be excessively taxing to counsel and hearten any female who takes it as a given that a man is up for grabs for as long as he remains single. A source of trouble for sure; something marriage would quash for those who are related by faith.
 
Kainos said:
Easier for a single man's attention to be undivided in the things of the Kingdom, or so I thought.

It can be excessively taxing to counsel and hearten any female who takes it as a given that a man is up for grabs for as long as he remains single. A source of trouble for sure; something marriage would quash for those who are related by faith.
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Howdy and welcome to the Forum.

I have found that owning a flamethrower and knowing how to use it effectively helps a lot with such situations.
 
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