It's good to be single.

[Gideon300]

That would need some serious research. But who opened this can of worms?

What we do know from Scripture is that God ordained marriage and gave the married a commission to fulfil: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

People cannot be fruitful and multiply without marriage.

We also know from scripture that some people have a gift to be single and some choose the single life for the sake of the Kingdom. In some periods of time, when persecution was intense for example, being single was an advantage. Some people don't do well on their own. Being married is a necessity for them. Others, like me, are OK with being single. I share a house with someone I know well, so I am not alone. That is important. God made us to be social beings. Even Paul traveled and ministered with others, except when he was imprisoned.

 

[Lynx]

I've recieved two great pieces of advice on this subject.

1. Don't get married.
2. Don't have kids

Also.... don't let a 15 dollar bikini or a 10 dollar sun dress cost you 18 years of child support.

Odd pricing scheme... the one with much less material costs more.

Oh well, not my business. I've never bought either and never intend to.

 

[BrokenSparrow]

Tell that to my ex fiance! (Yes, we lived together. NO it was NOT a great idea!) My workload doubled!

So is that why she is an ex now?



Joking...not really trying to get that personal with you. lol

 

[kinda]

God ordained singlehood and commissioned such people as well.

Thank God! God is so merciful!

imagine if the 11th commandment was, Thou shalt marry, before the age of 30!?!?

 

[kinda]

I've recieved two great pieces of advice on this subject.

1. Don't get married.
2. Don't have kids

Also.... don't let a 15 dollar bikini or a 10 dollar sun dress cost you 18 years of child support.

These wise men seen any signs in the stars? Just curious.

Joking aside, that's solid advice in my book.

 

[SigP226]

So is that why she is an ex now?



Joking...not really trying to get that personal with you. lol

Ha! I'm hardly worried about it! She's an ex because God convicted me of living in sin. Things like her flipping out on 2 jewlers, alcoholism, not dealing with mental health challenges, getting fired from a job where her mother would lie for her (when she did not want to come to work), buying a vehicle beyond our means without my knowledge, condoning lying to spouse, and general laziness, and being a general slob all contributed. ha ha

 

[SigP226]

These wise men seen any signs in the stars? Just curious.

Joking aside, that's solid advice in my book.

The best I've ever recieved!

 

[BrokenSparrow]

Ha! I'm hardly worried about it! She's an ex because God convicted me of living in sin. Things like her flipping out on 2 jewlers, alcoholism, not dealing with mental health challenges, getting fired from a job where her mother would lie for her (when she did not want to come to work), buying a vehicle beyond our means without my knowledge, condoning lying to spouse, and general laziness, and being a general slob all contributed. ha ha

Good you followed God's convictions and leading. Seems it saved you from a lot of problems and trouble

 

[Lanolin]

a lot of married and couple relationships are unhealthily codependent.

if you do every single thing together, familiarity can breed contempt.

On the converse, if they spend too mucn time apart then its like that couple then get confused and think they should be together always without realising that actually a healthy relationship will have times apart. Couples often rely on sex to 'fix things'. They tend to think if we still having sex, everything is ok.

anyway, from a single point of view when someone complain to me about marriage Im like this is what you had signed up for, You knew it was going to be for better or WORSE and when things are worse you know you have to deal with it. You cant be free you are bound to that person for the rest of your life. You agreed to do that. so do it.

Add children to this and ok your spouse might understand why youve abandoned them but children may not.

 

[Lanolin]

In many cases divorce is actually a mercy (it stops couples from killing each other or driving them nuts) but people often dont think of the children of divorced parents, and then its often up to the singles to take up the parenting slack, if the grandparents wont do it.

 

[Lanolin]

a healthy relationship is based on trust, not sex. Many married people get this confused and end up going for the latter.

 

[Lanolin]

my boss is split, I think we were talking about marriage one time at work and he did say it was a waste ...I think being married bankrupted him emotionally, he had three children and now they spend half the time with their mum and half the time with him when his wife changed her mind about being married to him.

well folks thing is you cant just change your mind about your spouse after you married them. Cos you made a vow and you are bound. What a rotten thing to do to someone.

hes now with someone else but they are not married. They just live together and work together. But if she or he wants out they can just leave without cleaning each other out.

I am supposing this is a much happier arrangement he doesnt want to marry again.
I dont really think that much about it really but sometimes he talks about his ex-wife and I gather that she was quite demanding of him.

Im like if this is what marriage could be like Im like no thanks. I know people can be so idealistic about marriage but if you have any doubts at all dont do it.

 

[SomeDisciple]

hes now with someone else but they are not married. They just live together and work together. But if she or he wants out they can just leave without cleaning each other out

I have mixed feelings about what the governments place is in marriage anyway. I personally think the government needs to stay out of what should essentially be an arrangement between 1 man 1 woman and 1 God. Courts shouldn't be saying what you can and cant have in a pre-nup or anything like that- and the ability to just take half and split shouldn't even exist. I honestly don't think that I would ever get married if I thought I had to go through the state.
I can't remember the guy doing the video, but some religious guy did some research and explained that marriage licenses were originally only required for people that were deemed incompetent. They had to be awarded licenses by a judge to get married, but no one else did. Then at one point the government just decided that everyone was incompetent and made everyone get a license to get officially "married."
Even if that's not the whole truth, I am still very skeptical as to whether or not the Lord requires us to go through the government. I don't think there's any scripture on it... and secular marriage is a joke. I don't know why they even bother.

 

[Lanolin]

I have mixed feelings about what the governments place is in marriage anyway. I personally think the government needs to stay out of what should essentially be an arrangement between 1 man 1 woman and 1 God. Courts shouldn't be saying what you can and cant have in a pre-nup or anything like that- and the ability to just take half and split shouldn't even exist. I honestly don't think that I would ever get married if I thought I had to go through the state.
I can't remember the guy doing the video, but some religious guy did some research and explained that marriage licenses were originally only required for people that were deemed incompetent. They had to be awarded licenses by a judge to get married, but no one else did. Then at one point the government just decided that everyone was incompetent and made everyone get a license to get officially "married."
Even if that's not the whole truth, I am still very skeptical as to whether or not the Lord requires us to go through the government. I don't think there's any scripture on it... and secular marriage is a joke. I don't know why they even bother.

Im guess the govt has to keep track of people somehow. Usually its the wife who has to change her surname to her husbands, and it wasnt long ago that the property was all in his surname.
Not sure why its if you split everyone gets half now. Hard if you got 3 children what, do you split the children in half as well?!

Im like stop confusing me and start being a real family and sort stuff out. Im am sure the children caught in the middle of this tug of war develop mental health issues etc. One of my cousins was and never recovered.

Only people benefiting from this are lawyers.

 

[shineyourlight]

I desire to be married one day, but right now, I'm single and that's okay. It gives me time to grow as a person, both spiritually and mentally.

 

[Lanolin]

do you stop growing as a person the day you get married I wonder?

i think its weird because when you marry if you are female you are always referred to as wife of so and so (and missus or MRS or mistress)
but if you are male and married nobody ever says you are husband of so and so. Your name just stays exactly the same. (and you are aready a Mister)

women mostly have to give up EVERYTHING to be married...their home, their land, their family and friends, even their job. Men generally dont, they win a bride, they make a gain, but a woman stands to lose everything they have ever known to be with a man.

 

[Lanolin]

I hope that doesnt sound like I am anti men or anything no I like men and respect them its only that women generally have to accept being inferior to their man if married, it may not even be how that relations works as a couple, they may actually be equal but its all other peoples and societies expectations as well.

the bank will treat you differently, it will affect how you own a home, workplaces differently to how you are paid, at social gatherings, etc. Then of course theres proliferation of womens groups when the men go off and do their thing leaving their wives behind, isolated and at home by themselves. A woman cant just go off and do HER thing because thats seen as selfish.

I think you have to really know what your in for when you get married.

 

[RodB651]

It is good to be single.

 

[Lynx]

i think its weird because when you marry if you are female you are always referred to as wife of so and so (and missus or MRS or mistress)
but if you are male and married nobody ever says you are husband of so and so. Your name just stays exactly the same. (and you are aready a Mister)

I know a lot of guys who are referred to frequently as the wife of so and so.

women mostly have to give up EVERYTHING to be married...their home, their land, their family and friends, even their job. Men generally dont, they win a bride, they make a gain, but a woman stands to lose everything they have ever known to be with a man.

Well I can tell YOU have never been to the USA. A lot of guys over here complain about the exact opposite.

 

[SomeDisciple]

do you stop growing as a person the day you get married I wonder?

I would imagine that's impossible, but your "growth" is significantly altered because of marital responsibilities. Especially if you have kids.

I hope that doesnt sound like I am anti men or anything no I like men and respect them its only that women generally have to accept being inferior to their man if married, it may not even be how that relations works as a couple, they may actually be equal but its all other peoples and societies expectations as well.

"Inferior" seems kind of loaded. I think "subordinate" is a better term, as it doesn't sound as degrading. I don't think of my self as "inferior" to my boss lady at work, because I'm as good at my job as she is at hers. But I am definitely subordinate to her, and serve her as unto the lord because that's nature of authorative relationships.
Family, I admit, is different because you are most likely going to be sharing a home- and coming to agreeable living arrangements is a big challenge.

women mostly have to give up EVERYTHING to be married...their home, their land, their family and friends, even their job. Men generally dont, they win a bride, they make a gain, but a woman stands to lose everything they have ever known to be with a man.

I don't think women have to give up those things, but there's definitely a change in priority. The same is true for the man- cleaving from his parents and cleaving to his wife. I have a step-mother who doesn't understand this and constantly complains how my step-brothers have 'selfishly abandoned' her when they don't show up on a holiday.

A woman cant just go off and do HER thing because thats seen as selfish.

Technically, a man shouldn't do this either, without some consideration to his family. I suppose you could have a marriage where the husband and wife just go off and do their own thing, but I don't think that's how the Lord intended it to be- I think for it to be a blessed marriage they're supposed to be involved in some kind of mutual support besides sharing a bed.

I think you have to really know what your in for when you get married

Amen. Another reason why it's good to be single. I feel like the scriptures do explain the potential pitfalls in marriage pretty well, though. Maybe not in a organized, laid out fashion... but it's all there.