I relate to this a lot. I read your posts and I related to all of them actually. I'm not great with words but just know that you're not staining the world. You exist for a reason. I appreciate you being here. So what you don't know the bible inside and out? God knows your heart and what it holds and that's all that matters. Like I said I'm not good with words but you captured exactly how I felt. This bible verse always helps me. I thought maybe it can help you too. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you an expected end." I don't know if that helps but, just know that sometimes we're our own worst critic. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. YOU are. My heart broke seeing your post because it reminded me of where I was recently and I just knew I needed to reply. I hope you learn to love yourself. You're worthy of it.
I feel the exact same way I’ve only recently made an account but I’ve been reading M1cheal’s post for about half a year because I just related to them so much, (and for me that was very significant because I always thought I was simply alone in all those feelings) and when I saw this reply I just had to say something because lately Jeremiah 29:11 has been on my heart everyday and I’ve been asking God to just send me somthing whatever it was he though I needed so I just want to say thank you for having the courage to say something! Your not alone and God loves you!