Is it worth it to post negative reviews of church online?

[mlssufan01]

To be quite clear here, this is something I never really thought I'd ask.
I want to stress this first, before anything: The last church I was a regular attender of was quite good; and if I were to review them, would be met with positive praise (for those curious, it was Calvinist; a theology quite new to me).
Prior to this, my church affiliations have been mostly charismatic and pentecostal.
At first; this question was reserved for one specific church, in which I was deeply hurt; after much processing I began discerning that most churches aren't actually being held accountable for their actions; and so when great injustice and sin happens, it just goes scott free and gets swept under the rug; in many ways I have become the victim of such treatment, shattering and devastating me emotionally and spiritually.
The first church that would receive a negative review is my very first church; I was brought there by ex girlfriend whom was still friends at the time; however, one week after attending was told there's nothing in the Bible that said we needed to be friends; and so she dropped me, leaving me friendless. At this point in my life, I was not even a Christian, and these actions may have very well led to my eternity in hell because of her sin.
After returning from college; I tried out a church; and upon my first visit; a former coworker I had noticed tried to make conversation; and directly told me to find a different church.
Upon a different church, after having a disagreement with a female, told the pastor she would not attend unless I left; the pastor said he agreed with my side but because of society today thought it better if I left until she left and then I could return.
Finally, the most painful one; the pastor's children said I was barely tolerable, they and his wife blocked me on social media; when I tried to ask what I had done wrong, he said there's no animosity and he doesn't feel slighted, but that I would not be allowed to bible studies, and gave a range of confusing reasons as to his family's actions; furthermore, he gossiped about the situation to the deacons who were my friends, completely shattering my life, and then told me my feelings aren't his responsibility. I met with him twice and yet he says he feels his family did nothing wrong, but labels this as a boundary. When I asked the assistant pastor if he could explain what's going on, I was ignored.

I have heard of pastor's suing parishioners for defamation, slander, all that, too, so that is something to consider as well.

I've also played around with the idea of simply posting bible verses specific to their situations; rather than calling out a specific person..

 

[tourist]

Forget all of that stuff and pray for God to steer you to a new church home where you are welcome and appreciated.

 

[mlssufan01]

Forget all of that stuff and pray for God to steer you to a new church home where you are welcome and appreciated.

two things:
as mentioned; my last church was a good one.
Second; we can't just keep saying move around and move around and let go and move around if everywhere we go is just another painful experience---this is a surefire way to get people to leave the church and give up on God.
Third, having a good church does not take away the pain of the previous church; it only hides the pain for a while or perhaps, helps you recognize that it was a false one---which would lead me back to the point of posting a negative review for the purpose of protecting the flock.

 

[tourist]

two things:
as mentioned; my last church was a good one.
Second; we can't just keep saying move around and move around and let go and move around if everywhere we go is just another painful experience---this is a surefire way to get people to leave the church and give up on God.
Third, having a good church does not take away the pain of the previous church; it only hides the pain for a while or perhaps, helps you recognize that it was a false one---which would lead me back to the point of posting a negative review for the purpose of protecting the flock.

My thoughts are that the flock is probably more than capable of taking care of themselves. Negative reviews would probably cause more harm than good. Leaving a church should not be construed as giving up on God.

 

[mlssufan01]

My thoughts are that the flock is probably more than capable of taking care of themselves. Negative reviews would probably cause more harm than good. Leaving a church should not be construed as giving up on God.

Not saying that--I'm saying that eventually, having to leave so many churches and so many hurts and so many traumas, eventually it wears on the soul, and this will lead to giving up on God. It certainly almost did so to me.

 

[tourist]

Not saying that--I'm saying that eventually, having to leave so many churches and so many hurts and so many traumas, eventually it wears on the soul, and this will lead to giving up on God. It certainly almost did so to me.

Were you searching for God through all of these churches? In the bible it says that where 2 or 3 are gathered in His name that He is in the midst of them. I am sorry about your past negative experiences in a formal church setting, but please realize that God is always with you and will neither leave nor forsake you. God is not about church but rather is about having a loving personal relationship with you.

 

[mlssufan01]

Actually the Bible is about the Gospel. The Gospel is the Good News of Jesus Christ; who died on the cross and was resurrected in 3 days for the forgiveness of sins, reconciling men to Himself, calling all men unto repentance.

 

[bojack]

Not saying that--I'm saying that eventually, having to leave so many churches and so many hurts and so many traumas, eventually it wears on the soul, and this will lead to giving up on God. It certainly almost did so to me.

Without hearing specifically what .. Redirect your energy perhaps .. I don't understand your problem ,People get offended at church all the time .. Be what you want to see and forget seeking status , I would say first ''you don't need any body or group'' and I've seen some folks feel the need to impress certain people, it gets old and some preachers are worn out by people who demand attention .. Isn't there people who are less fortunate or heard, ''left behind or ignored'' at these churches you can help minister to or get information on former members who need a visit at home .. It is so easy to get hurt by the least of things in a church until you began to mature as a Christian and learn more to apply the Word to yourself .. If you do or say something nice , do it without expecting payback and because you want to and want to be that way .. Sorry if I misread what you're trying to say ..
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

 

[posthuman]

is this really about negative reviews of churches, or is it about negative reviews of ex-girlfriends, former co-workers and women & children who thought you were creepy?

 

[tourist]

Actually the Bible is about the Gospel. The Gospel is the Good News of Jesus Christ; who died on the cross and was resurrected in 3 days for the forgiveness of sins, reconciling men to Himself, calling all men unto repentance.

This is for sure and that what has made a loving personal relationship with God possible. I couldn't agree more that the bible is the Good News about God who loves us enough for Jesus to die on the cross for our sins.

Again, it is a shame about your previous church experiences but just based on this post you wrote I would have to say that you are on the right spiritual track and that is definitely Good News.

 

[mlssufan01]

Without hearing specifically what .. Redirect your energy perhaps .. I don't understand your problem ,People get offended at church all the time .. Be what you want to see and forget seeking status , I would say first ''you don't need any body or group'' and I've seen some folks feel the need to impress certain people, it gets old and some preachers are worn out by people who demand attention .. Isn't there people who are less fortunate or heard, ''left behind or ignored'' at these churches you can help minister to or get information on former members who need a visit at home .. It is so easy to get hurt by the least of things in a church until you began to mature as a Christian and learn more to apply the Word to yourself .. If you do or say something nice , do it without expecting payback and because you want to and want to be that way .. Sorry if I misread what you're trying to say ..
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

"You don't need any body or group."
This is false. The Bible tells us that the hand cannot say to the foot, "I don't need you." Jesus also told us to go and be reconciled before we give our gift at the altar. Paul also told us to warn a divisive person once, then twice, then have nothing to do with them, it is obvious they are self-condemned.

The message is clear and consistent; you cannot love God and hate your brother. Time and again, love is expressed through action. The Bible also defines hate by actions not by feeling.
We need to stop this cookie cutter watered down Christianity that has no power or meaning. I want true biblical believers. I want people to work out their problems. What happened to this practice?

Unfortunately, the Bible says those who are unwilling to reconcile will not get out until they have paid the last penny. People always say do what God tells you, but none of them do the very first things He told them to do. They want to hear some voice from the sky to justify their sin rather than read the voice He already gave us.

 

[mlssufan01]

is this really about negative reviews of churches, or is it about negative reviews of ex-girlfriends, former co-workers and women & children who thought you were creepy?

1 was an ex, 1 was a male coworker, 1 was a female friend, and the last was the pastor's family.

I might agree with the front on the female friend, but not the others. the ex knew me and dropped me right after getting me to church; her reason was I was annoying. She thought I was annoying because I asked to many bible questions (again, I was not a Christian then). The coworker I have no idea what her issue was. The pastor's family and I had a 5 year friendship...there was no reason to believe I was creepy. Going by the barely tolerable comment...it was probably more along the lines of annoying.

The point of the reviews would be to make churches aware of what's happening; we need to change. We need to do better...even if my relationships are never restored...there should be a voice to promote unity. We can't keep dividing more and more...we have enough of that with different theologies, why create more within the denominations.

 

[posthuman]

1 was an ex, 1 was a male coworker, 1 was a female friend, and the last was the pastor's family.

I might agree with the front on the female friend, but not the others. the ex knew me and dropped me right after getting me to church; her reason was I was annoying. She thought I was annoying because I asked to many bible questions (again, I was not a Christian then). The coworker I have no idea what her issue was. The pastor's family and I had a 5 year friendship...there was no reason to believe I was creepy. Going by the barely tolerable comment...it was probably more along the lines of annoying.

these still sound like personal relationship issues, not church issues?

 

[laughingheart]

This question assumes that you are a consumer of a service. You are not the consumer in this scenario. It is God who is supposed to be served by our worship in song and prayers. He is the focus. It is for him to evaluate and be blessed.
Lately the evangelical community has had an influx of this attitude that we shop around for a church. The church is a collection of people and everyone of those people are flawed. There is no surprise that, though many are of faith, even they will fail.
Myself, I go to church because I need to. I need to connect with God and show my respect and gratitude. I need to serve him by caring about the people around me and functioning as part of a body. We need to get over ourselves, as to making it all about us, in terms of consumption and carry a list of wrongs done to us. That has got to stop.
As far as writing negative reviews of churches and exposing all of their members to ridicule, that is about revenge. Near the beginning of this you called someone out for possibly being the reason you go to hell by their failure. When we blame others, and wrap ourselves up in victimization, we hide from our own responsibilities and accountability. We have to stop pointing fingers and work on our own development. Your journey of faith is between you and God only. Individual groups of believers, and some non-believers, that we call the church do not hold that responsibility. Nowhere do I read your part in the breakdown of these relationships. This is not about being tough with you, it is something that you need to dwell on and face. These people are not responsible to impress and please you. We are all responsible to serve and worship God. Spitting at the church as payback is a problem . The solution will only to found in prayer with God and probably a really good, and honest counsellor of faith. I truly wish you well.

 

[mlssufan01]

these still sound like personal relationship issues, not church issues?

The church is the body of Christ; so assuming all are believers (which is likely, but not guaranteed, give they're in church), these issues are not separate.
If you were to say my issue is with this person who is a member of xyz church, but not with xyz church itself; I would say yes, this is true; except in the case of the one involving the pastor.

 

[mlssufan01]

This question assumes that you are a consumer of a service. You are not the consumer in this scenario. It is God who is supposed to be served by our worship in song and prayers. He is the focus. It is for him to evaluate and be blessed.
Lately the evangelical community has had an influx of this attitude that we shop around for a church. The church is a collection of people and everyone of those people are flawed. There is no surprise that, though many are of faith, even they will fail.
Myself, I go to church because I need to. I need to connect with God and show my respect and gratitude. I need to serve him by caring about the people around me and functioning as part of a body. We need to get over ourselves, as to making it all about us, in terms of consumption and carry a list of wrongs done to us. That has got to stop.
As far as writing negative reviews of churches and exposing all of their members to ridicule, that is about revenge. Near the beginning of this you called someone out for possibly being the reason you go to hell by their failure. When we blame others, and wrap ourselves up in victimization, we hide from our own responsibilities and accountability. We have to stop pointing fingers and work on our own development. Your journey of faith is between you and God only. Individual groups of believers, and some non-believers, that we call the church do not hold that responsibility. Nowhere do I read your part in the breakdown of these relationships. This is not about being tough with you, it is something that you need to dwell on and face. These people are not responsible to impress and please you. We are all responsible to serve and worship God. Spitting at the church as payback is a problem . The solution will only to found in prayer with God and probably a really good, and honest counsellor of faith. I truly wish you well.

I did not espouse the details as I have already posted the details in great length on previous posts; well for the pastor one at least; the one with the coworker really had no background so I have no idea what to tell you there.
Your post is also contradictory in saying you care about the people around you and then say they're not responsible;
actually the Bible literally says; bear one another's burdens.
Our faith is also not individual; it is, and always has been group mentality. Where 2 or 3 are gathered; Gather together; do not forsake the gathering; warn a divisive person one; reconcile
it is not individual, and never has been.

 

[bojack]

"You don't need any body or group."
This is false. The Bible tells us that the hand cannot say to the foot, "I don't need you." Jesus also told us to go and be reconciled before we give our gift at the altar. Paul also told us to warn a divisive person once, then twice, then have nothing to do with them, it is obvious they are self-condemned.

The message is clear and consistent; you cannot love God and hate your brother. Time and again, love is expressed through action. The Bible also defines hate by actions not by feeling.
We need to stop this cookie cutter watered down Christianity that has no power or meaning. I want true biblical believers. I want people to work out their problems. What happened to this practice?

Unfortunately, the Bible says those who are unwilling to reconcile will not get out until they have paid the last penny. People always say do what God tells you, but none of them do the very first things He told them to do. They want to hear some voice from the sky to justify their sin rather than read the voice He already gave us.

I agree but not every one is at your level, and it's not your church .. Being upset because others don't ''get it'' put the load back on you who have the greater understanding imo .. Remember worshipping Jesus is freewill not forced .. And I understand your frustration which is why I said ''if you want to see it, you be it and you'll need probably need more patience, we all do and I'm at the top of the list .. ''All things are important not all things are expedient'' .. Truth is probably Jesus working in you on these matters

 

[posthuman]

The church is the body of Christ; so assuming all are believers (which is likely, but not guaranteed, give they're in church), these issues are not separate.
If you were to say my issue is with this person who is a member of xyz church, but not with xyz church itself; I would say yes, this is true; except in the case of the one involving the pastor.

i guess i'm struggling with how any of your grievances with individuals are actually reflective of the church.
i mean, if i'm the one reading church reviews ((i wouldn't, but let's just say)), i would be reading them thinking, how much of this is actually about doctrine taught there and how much is just someone with personal issues? i mean, i don't go to a church because i want to make friends and relationships. i go to worship and to be taught, to grow in knowledge of God. so imagine the woman who was not comfortable attending church while you were present was asked to leave, and she wrote a 'review of the church' that's basically about whatever it was between you and her. am i going to get valuable information about the church from that review, or am i going to feel like i'm looking at someone's laundry drying in their back yard?

if that makes sense.

i've had various jobs and been to various schools. there were people who didn't want to be around me and people i didn't want to be around -- none of that reflects on the quality of the employment or education. so even if i felt like i needed to air something, and even if i was justified in whatever it was i wanted to say about those people, does that belong in a job review or a school review?

 

[posthuman]

probably there are a lot of relevant details being left out. i'm not really asking for them -- i'm just telling you how it comes across to me based only on what's actually being given here.

 

[mlssufan01]

i guess i'm struggling with how any of your grievances with individuals are actually reflective of the church.
i mean, if i'm the one reading church reviews ((i wouldn't, but let's just say)), i would be reading them thinking, how much of this is actually about doctrine taught there and how much is just someone with personal issues? i mean, i don't go to a church because i want to make friends and relationships. i go to worship and to be taught, to grow in knowledge of God. so imagine the woman who was not comfortable attending church while you were present was asked to leave, and she wrote a 'review of the church' that's basically about whatever it was between you and her. am i going to get valuable information about the church from that review, or am i going to feel like i'm looking at someone's laundry drying in their back yard?

if that makes sense.

i've had various jobs and been to various schools. there were people who didn't want to be around me and people i didn't want to be around -- none of that reflects on the quality of the employment or education. so even if i felt like i needed to air something, and even if i was justified in whatever it was i wanted to say about those people, does that belong in a job review or a school review?

the problem with this is that doctrine and behavior go together.