Is it a waste to pray against your true feelings?

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Jun 3, 2025
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#43
I would not head to a fruitless debate if I was you your time is better spent doing any thing else
Time is best spent
Blessing the Lord.

I live
To bless the Lord.

I'm addicted to
the feeling it gives me.
 

Suze

Well-known member
Mar 14, 2025
511
287
63
#46
I know we are supposed to pray for our enemies and wish good upon them. And I do that. But I sometimes wonder, is it a waste of time because the Lord knows my heart. And in my heart I genuinely dont want good things for that person who steals my car. I want him to crash in that stolen vehicle.

So my question is: should I still pray for that person? This is a hypothetical btw, no one has stolen my car, just making an example.

I have been praying for evil people because the Bible tells me to do so, and as for my genuine feelings, I always put that up as "flesh vs the spirit", my flesh is fighting the spirit. But am I just praying for no reason if I genuinely dont feel love towards that person?

What do you guys say?
Ok , so I know it was just an example but let's take it for real and walk through it . Someone steals your car , what should your Christian attitude be to that ? Strictly speaking u should genuinely forgive them , that car wasn't really yours was it ? God loaned u that car . Everything u have is just loaned to u from God . Maybe the person who stole your car needed it much more than u did . Maybe God gave them your car because He knew u would forgive them . Maybe God took that car away from u for a very good reason ? Maybe , now u don't have a car your life will change in some way that will work out better for u . If someone took your car in desperation to get to the hospital to visit someone before they died and , on the way they wrapped your car and themselves around a tree , u wouldn't really b happy about that would u ? I've read your posts and know u would not rejoice in their death .
I'm sure I speak for very many people on here when I say , people have done some awful things to me .
Everyone of my life's experiences , especially the unpleasant ones , have changed me and I think for the better . I have a lot of stuff , books and DVDs and CDs by the hundreds , they have given me an enormous amount of pleasure , but it's just stuff . It's nothing to me . Any and every thing in this physical life is nothing , less than nothing . Anything I have , and u want it , u can have it . Forgive , let go and grow closer to the real treasure .
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
21,302
3,488
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#47
Ok , so I know it was just an example but let's take it for real and walk through it . Someone steals your car , what should your Christian attitude be to that ? Strictly speaking u should genuinely forgive them , that car wasn't really yours was it ? God loaned u that car . Everything u have is just loaned to u from God . Maybe the person who stole your car needed it much more than u did . Maybe God gave them your car because He knew u would forgive them . Maybe God took that car away from u for a very good reason ? Maybe , now u don't have a car your life will change in some way that will work out better for u . If someone took your car in desperation to get to the hospital to visit someone before they died and , on the way they wrapped your car and themselves around a tree , u wouldn't really b happy about that would u ? I've read your posts and know u would not rejoice in their death .
I'm sure I speak for very many people on here when I say , people have done some awful things to me .
Everyone of my life's experiences , especially the unpleasant ones , have changed me and I think for the better . I have a lot of stuff , books and DVDs and CDs by the hundreds , they have given me an enormous amount of pleasure , but it's just stuff . It's nothing to me . Any and every thing in this physical life is nothing , less than nothing . Anything I have , and u want it , u can have it . Forgive , let go and grow closer to the real treasure .
Again I say you are very wise
 

Suze

Well-known member
Mar 14, 2025
511
287
63
#48
Yes , so true . I've also found that when a brother or sister wounds u , it cuts much deeper because they r your brother / sister . We expect much better if our family in Christ and a wound from one of them stings much more than if an atheist or idolater insults us . This is the true test if our live and forgiveness . It's easy to forgive those who don't know any better but , we hold our family in Christ to a much higher standard and so we should . Same thing happened to Jesus , it was not an enemy that reproached me but mine own true friend . In our congregations is where we r truly tested .
 
Jul 7, 2022
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#52
Happy Independence Day to everyone reading this post!
I did not see a thread devoted to such on the forum. Perhaps I missed it, so I'm going to do my best to remind us of the blood that was shed for America to Become the great land of the free.

In keeping with the theme, one awesome movie, The Patriot reminds me most of our holiday. The following scene should also be on topic.
If you have not seen the movie, the character played by Mel Gibson is, like myself a peaceful man who tries to keep his eldest boy out of the war. I can relate, even though I have not been blessed with a wife and children.

Before anyone is tempted to make a flippant remark of how such a man in his shoes should "get past it", "forgive and forget," "suck it up and put it behind you" "just give the commander a hug," "law of attraction", "after all you have more children", please put yourself in the main character's shoes.
I've had to do this more than once.
It was real life.

 
Sep 2, 2020
16,086
6,465
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#54
I know we are supposed to pray for our enemies and wish good upon them. And I do that. But I sometimes wonder, is it a waste of time because the Lord knows my heart. And in my heart I genuinely dont want good things for that person who steals my car. I want him to crash in that stolen vehicle.

So my question is: should I still pray for that person? This is a hypothetical btw, no one has stolen my car, just making an example.

I have been praying for evil people because the Bible tells me to do so, and as for my genuine feelings, I always put that up as "flesh vs the spirit", my flesh is fighting the spirit. But am I just praying for no reason if I genuinely dont feel love towards that person?

What do you guys say?
Maybe consider that Jesus suffered and died bled for thier sins just the way he did for you. It’s hard to go of grudges when we look at what Jesus did so they could be forgiven for thier sins …. Even the ones against us .

reflecting on Jesus suffering for me and my sins is one thing reflecting on Jesus suffering for someone who has offended or does some bad thing towards us or another we love or something. Is another thing and has a lot of power towards forgiveness.

of course it wasn’t just the nails he endured on our behalf they spit upon him , insulted and accused and mocked him as he suffered as they put it upon him. He was beaten and spit on by the Jews and then by the gentile soldiers of course that crown of thrones he wore couldn’t have felt great pressed against his head as they struck him again and again

he was then led through the streets paraded as a criminal a blasphemer of all things they accused the lord of stripped of his clothing as they haggled over his garments after they drove the bails through his hands and feet . Imagine all the agony and sorrow he must have felt the one who came to save us the one who created us…..

those other people we can’t get past things they do or have done or said thier sins are the same as ours we don’t want to hold them against others because he suffered and died to pay for even those offenses we take hits on …..

look to Jesus brother always shines light for us at crossroads
 
Jul 7, 2022
12,091
5,296
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#55
Happy Independence Day to everyone reading this post!
I did not see a thread devoted to such on the forum. Perhaps I missed it, so I'm going to do my best to remind us of the blood that was shed for America to Become the great land of the free.

In keeping with the theme, one awesome movie, The Patriot reminds me most of our holiday. The following scene should also be on topic.
If you have not seen the movie, the character played by Mel Gibson is, like myself a peaceful man who tries to keep his eldest boy out of the war. I can relate, even though I have not been blessed with a wife and children.

Before anyone is tempted to make a flippant remark of how such a man in his shoes should "get past it", "forgive and forget," "suck it up and put it behind you" "just give the commander a hug," "law of attraction", "after all you have more children", please put yourself in the main character's shoes.
I've had to do this more than once.
It was real life.
]
I accidentally posted a famous scene from Braveheart in my last post. When I went to correct it, the post would not reset and allow correction.
Here's the one I hope you Dads would Put yourself in Benjamin's (Mel Gibson's character) shoes. If you have not seen it, rent the movie and watch it all the way through without interruption. I've had to do that in reality more times than I can mention at this point.



 

lrs68

Well-known member
Dec 30, 2024
1,613
455
83
#57
As Yeshua was laying strapped to the stump having the flesh of His back thrashed and ripped wide open by the cat of 9-tails that would grip onto His flesh causing the one whipping Him to yank hard to break loose from his skin, then forced to carry a wooden cross bar 2 miles to Golgotha, and thrown flat on his bare opened bloody back upon His Cross taking the blows from hammer pounding the spikes into his wrists and feet, to experiencing the jolting of being lifted up and dropping into the pitted hole stabilizing the upright Cross, He said, Father forgive them.

He was forgiving everyone from Adam to the last human to ever be born.
Why?
Everyone of us put Him on that Cross and through everything we know He suffered from.

It's very true as humans we are mixed with emotions and trying to forgive those who purposely do us wrong makes absolutely no sense at all. But I can promise now that I have walked with God for as long as I have that it has become much easier to forgive than when I was first saved. But to forgive we must truly mean it. No doubt it's one of the most difficult things to ever have to do.

My advice is to give it a few days or weeks. God knows what you're doing. He knows that when your heart is right it's your desire to forgive. He will give you the time to do it. And if not, He knows you would have done it in time.
 

PaulThomson

Well-known member
Oct 29, 2023
4,904
674
113
#58
I know we are supposed to pray for our enemies and wish good upon them. And I do that. But I sometimes wonder, is it a waste of time because the Lord knows my heart. And in my heart I genuinely dont want good things for that person who steals my car. I want him to crash in that stolen vehicle.

So my question is: should I still pray for that person? This is a hypothetical btw, no one has stolen my car, just making an example.

I have been praying for evil people because the Bible tells me to do so, and as for my genuine feelings, I always put that up as "flesh vs the spirit", my flesh is fighting the spirit. But am I just praying for no reason if I genuinely dont feel love towards that person?

What do you guys say?
There are at least four different kinds of knowing;
1) Propositional knowing - learning to make truth claims about things. That car is mine. My car is yellow. The person who took it is a thief.

2) perspectival knowing - Learning to see the incident of your car being stolen from your own perspective; seeing the disappearance of your car from the thief's perspective; seeing the disappearance of your car from the police complaints officer's perspective; or from your spouse's perspective; or from God's perspective. From birth we begin to see only from our own perspective. As we interact with others we realise that they "know" different things by observing from their own perspective, than we do. They observe details we miss, and vice verse. A more comprehensive and realistic description of reality comes from taking into account and integrating several perspectives on the same situation.
From your perspective - now you need to replace the car which will cost you money and time. You need to find a way to get places until you have sorted insurance and replaced the car.
From the thief's perspective , he has managed chase after the car he saw his child abducted into, or he has the opportunity to make some money tp buy the drugs, or pay the rent, or buy food for his family, or pay for some urgent medical treatment.
From God's perspective He get's to see, and to show you, how much you trust in Him to meet your needs, vs. how much you are trusting in yourself and your possessions for your security. He has an opportunity to be your deliverer, if you will trust Him to deliver you. He sees the emptiness of the thief's life that the thief is trying to fill with thrills, money and things. Maybe He can use the consequences the thief suffers to lead him to change his priorities.

3) Procedural knowing - learning how to do things -
Learning how to lean less in ephemeral things and to seek more for eternal things; Knowing how to forgive those who offend us;; how to bless those who have cursed us; how to deal with the grief of loss.

4) Participatory knowing - learning how to play my own unique role coooperating with others playing different roles, in order to achieve some common goal - like being a pitcher in a baseball game working with all the other players in both teams to help your team score more runs and dismiss the other team with fewer runs while keeping within the rues and being sportsmanly.
Learning how to work with God and agencies and the thief and his acquaintances to foster reconciliation between yourself and the thief, and God and the thief. and to foster change for the better in ourselves and others.

You are asking whether following the rules of the game (God's principles) when you feel like cheating and fouling the opposition because they fouled you, is what the Umpire wants, or He would rather you follow you true feelings and strike out at the player who offended you. The true point of sport is to develop a virtue of sportsmanship, not to win vaingloriously by flouting the rules of the game.
One fruit of the Spirit is self-control. You are developing that fruit by playing within the rules and denying give urge to give vent to feelings of resentment and hate,
 
Jul 5, 2025
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0
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#59
I know we are supposed to pray for our enemies and wish good upon them. And I do that. But I sometimes wonder, is it a waste of time because the Lord knows my heart. And in my heart I genuinely dont want good things for that person who steals my car. I want him to crash in that stolen vehicle.

So my question is: should I still pray for that person? This is a hypothetical btw, no one has stolen my car, just making an example.

I have been praying for evil people because the Bible tells me to do so, and as for my genuine feelings, I always put that up as "flesh vs the spirit", my flesh is fighting the spirit. But am I just praying for no reason if I genuinely dont feel love towards that person?

What do you guys say?
If you know that your heart wishes evil to befall those you pray for, then either your prayer needs to change or you need a new heart.

You need a new heart, brother, a heart after God's heart. The good news is that God promises to give you that new heart in Ezekiel 36:26. Ask Him for it. If a heart after God is truly what you desire and you keep asking for it, God will keep his promise and. form it within you. Believe he can. Wait on Him everyday and He will do it. The mystery of "Christ in you the hope of glory" is the mystery of how God is ready, willing and able to form the life of Christ within you. Wait on God to do it and he will.
 

p_rehbein

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2013
30,912
6,997
113
#60
Obedience as an act of duty is still obedience. Outward obedience may be what God employs to engage the heart.
Prayer when the heart is not involved is just words IMO. God is a Spirit, and to worship Him, we must worship Him in spirit and truth. The Jews Jesus chastised prayed prayers great in words but not with their hearts or in the spirit, right?