I have an issue with my family...

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J

Julie6378

Guest
#1
#1
I just have a problem with my family. I was wondering if there is anyone who can give me Christian advice. I am insecure when people talk bad about me behind my back. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. My family does it, they talk bad about me behind my back and they say mean things to my face. I don't know how to cope properly. It makes it hard to be around them now. I don't like them either because of how they treat me. To sum it up. They seem like bullies and they appear to call me stupid, they judge me, and they make up things about me that aren't true. I feel like I am in high school. I tried reading my Bible, it helps, but the hurt I feel from this still lingers. I even keep a journal and write my feelings. I still get the question in my head. Why is this happening to me? It feels like I am getting all this bad attention that I don't really want. Please help!
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#2
Sep 17, 2018
4,058
3,172
113
#2
No one can give a definitive reason why it's happening. There could be numerous answers.
But the simplest way to deal with it is to avoid them. You'll encounter people like this all your life, we all do. But whenever possible avoid them. You're better off alone than with people that mistreat you.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#3
Mar 13, 2014
42,578
17,047
113
69
Tennessee
#3
If you are in a position to do so I would put some space between you and your family. If you are no longer around to be their doormat they will probably lose interest in trying to drag you down and will then try their best to destroy what's left of the family unit. My counsel is to get out of that toxic environment if you are able to do so. If not, then put as much space that you can between them emotionally and physically and don't attempt to engage and encourage their corrosive behavior.
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#4
#4
Ok, thank you so much the reply.
 
Leastamongmany

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
#5
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,269
113
Usa
#5
Julie6378 said:
I just have a problem with my family. I was wondering if there is anyone who can give me Christian advice. I am insecure when people talk bad about me behind my back. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. My family does it, they talk bad about me behind my back and they say mean things to my face. I don't know how to cope properly. It makes it hard to be around them now. I don't like them either because of how they treat me. To sum it up. They seem like bullies and they appear to call me stupid, they judge me, and they make up things about me that aren't true. I feel like I am in high school. I tried reading my Bible, it helps, but the hurt I feel from this still lingers. I even keep a journal and write my feelings. I still get the question in my head. Why is this happening to me? It feels like I am getting all this bad attention that I don't really want. Please help!
Click to expand...
Jesus did say those of our own household wou ld/ could be our worst enemies! I am praying for YOUR peace! In Jesus name!🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
 
PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#6
Apr 22, 2013
13,578
9,094
113
#6
Julie6378 said:
I just have a problem with my family. I was wondering if there is anyone who can give me Christian advice. I am insecure when people talk bad about me behind my back. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. My family does it, they talk bad about me behind my back and they say mean things to my face. I don't know how to cope properly. It makes it hard to be around them now. I don't like them either because of how they treat me. To sum it up. They seem like bullies and they appear to call me stupid, they judge me, and they make up things about me that aren't true. I feel like I am in high school. I tried reading my Bible, it helps, but the hurt I feel from this still lingers. I even keep a journal and write my feelings. I still get the question in my head. Why is this happening to me? It feels like I am getting all this bad attention that I don't really want. Please help!
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Welcome to CC! Be Blessed here.

Not saying what you relate isn't true, but we only have your side of the story. What would they say to your charges if they were here to respond?
 
Robertt

Robertt

Well-known member
#7
May 22, 2019
899
320
63
Bahrain
#7
Are you living with your family? Are they Christians ?

I would suggest talking to your pastor about these feelings of yours.

Thinking they are talking about you behind your back is paranoia. You don't know unless they openly tell you , "Hey we talking about you".

As Jesus commanded, continue to show them the love of the Lord.
 
ToastAndTea

ToastAndTea

Well-known member
#8
Jul 31, 2018
301
384
63
#8
Julie6378 said:
I just have a problem with my family. I was wondering if there is anyone who can give me Christian advice. I am insecure when people talk bad about me behind my back. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. My family does it, they talk bad about me behind my back and they say mean things to my face. I don't know how to cope properly. It makes it hard to be around them now. I don't like them either because of how they treat me. To sum it up. They seem like bullies and they appear to call me stupid, they judge me, and they make up things about me that aren't true. I feel like I am in high school. I tried reading my Bible, it helps, but the hurt I feel from this still lingers. I even keep a journal and write my feelings. I still get the question in my head. Why is this happening to me? It feels like I am getting all this bad attention that I don't really want. Please help!
Click to expand...
I have heard of similar situations. I don't know your full story. However, it can be hard to deal with an oppressive atmosphere like that. My advice is to avoid them where possible, don't antagonize them when they are around, have as little to do with them as you can and... pray for them. If your faith is different to theirs you may want to start spending less time with them. Some families are so difficult to be in for new believers if you are one, or even if you are a newish believer.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#9
#9
PennEd said:
Welcome to CC! Be Blessed here.

Not saying what you relate isn't true, but we only have your side of the story. What would they say to your charges if they were here to respond?
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That’s a very good point. We need more facts before we can advise someone.
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#10
#10
Leastamongmany said:
Jesus did say those of our own household wou ld/ could be our worst enemies! I am praying for YOUR peace! In Jesus name!🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Click to expand...
thank you
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#11
#11
Robertt said:
Are you living with your family? Are they Christians ?

I would suggest talking to your pastor about these feelings of yours.

Thinking they are talking about you behind your back is paranoia. You don't know unless they openly tell you , "Hey we talking about you".

As Jesus commanded, continue to show them the love of the Lord.
Click to expand...

Yes I am living with my family and they are not Christian. Okay.
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#12
#12
PennEd said:
Welcome to CC! Be Blessed here.

Not saying what you relate isn't true, but we only have your side of the story. What would they say to your charges if they were here to respond?
Click to expand...
I don't know their side of the story.
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#13
#13
Julie6378 said:
I don't know their side of the story.
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I can only tell you when they started to act like that. They started when I moved out and never spoke to them too often due to my being busy. I feel like I don't know them enough to even to respond with their side of the story.
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#14
#14
Julie6378 said:
I can only tell you when they started to act like that. They started when I moved out and never spoke to them too often due to my being busy. I feel like I don't know them enough to even to respond with their side of the story.
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I had to move back due to some struggles I was working through.
 
M

mar09

Senior Member
#15
Sep 17, 2014
4,927
1,259
113
#15
Julie6378 said:
I just have a problem with my family. I was wondering if there is anyone who can give me Christian advice. I am insecure when people talk bad about me behind my back. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. My family does it, they talk bad about me behind my back and they say mean things to my face. I don't know how to cope properly. It makes it hard to be around them now. I don't like them either because of how they treat me. To sum it up. They seem like bullies and they appear to call me stupid, they judge me, and they make up things about me that aren't true. I feel like I am in high school. I tried reading my Bible, it helps, but the hurt I feel from this still lingers. I even keep a journal and write my feelings. I still get the question in my head. Why is this happening to me? It feels like I am getting all this bad attention that I don't really want. Please help!
Click to expand...
I'm sorry to hear what you're going thru, jordan. Used to be so insecure, imagining what others be thinking or saying abt me behind my back=). In time the Lord showed that is not very important, but rather what He is thinking abt me! You did not mention ur age, but you seem like a young person.

You've heard we cannot always like our family or what they do, but we can love them. Pray for them. At some time i also thought that some family were like bully, but perhaps it was also because i was too soft and need to assert more, so that's what ive been striving to do, and in some... in many ways, it seems to work=)). Keep on reading God's word... you cannot afford not to everyday! Be faithful. The hurt may not go right away, but keep on writing God's word and ur feelings. Can't exactly say why it's happening to u now, but it does happen to everyone.

Also, as one or two here have said, u can try to know their side of what's going on. Sometimes there is communication breakdown, wc results in other unnecessary hurts and other issues, so i hope that is resolved soon. God bless.
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#16
#16
I don't understand why people assume I am a young person. I don't understand why it matters. Please enlighten me because I get this a lot and I never understand what people meant by that.
 
7

7seasrekeyed

Guest
#17
#17
Julie6378 said:
I don't understand why people assume I am a young person. I don't understand why it matters. Please enlighten me because I get this a lot and I never understand what people meant by that.
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well honestly you sound immature which is why people are saying that

there is no way anyone can give you any advice regarding your post because it sounds like you are venting

and you know, it is fine to do that, but there are always 3 sides to a story

yours, mine (or theirs in this case) and the objective truth

vent all you want...no problem...but there is more to the story

no harm meant but you can vent at me too ;)
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#18
#18
Whoa! Maybe I made a mistake to come on here. I was just trying to express my feelings. I didn't know people would resort to name calling and people would get upset with me. I seem to have this problem a lot where people start to judge me for what I write and they seem to define me by my writing. I don't understand. I thought what I am doing is perfectly harmless. I don't know why people are making a huge deal about how I am sounding.
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#19
#19
7seasrekeyed said:
well honestly you sound immature which is why people are saying that

there is no way anyone can give you any advice regarding your post because it sounds like you are venting

and you know, it is fine to do that, but there are always 3 sides to a story

yours, mine (or theirs in this case) and the objective truth

vent all you want...no problem...but there is more to the story

no harm meant but you can vent at me too ;)
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That is fine. I don't need you to give me advice. I didn't expect people to respond to my post anyways. Thank you for your response.
 
J

Julie6378

Guest
#20
#20
mar09 said:
I'm sorry to hear what you're going thru, jordan. Used to be so insecure, imagining what others be thinking or saying abt me behind my back=). In time the Lord showed that is not very important, but rather what He is thinking abt me! You did not mention ur age, but you seem like a young person.

You've heard we cannot always like our family or what they do, but we can love them. Pray for them. At some time i also thought that some family were like bully, but perhaps it was also because i was too soft and need to assert more, so that's what ive been striving to do, and in some... in many ways, it seems to work=)). Keep on reading God's word... you cannot afford not to everyday! Be faithful. The hurt may not go right away, but keep on writing God's word and ur feelings. Can't exactly say why it's happening to u now, but it does happen to everyone.

Also, as one or two here have said, u can try to know their side of what's going on. Sometimes there is communication breakdown, wc results in other unnecessary hurts and other issues, so i hope that is resolved soon. God bless.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for your response.
 
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