I had a mystical experience that has damaged my faith. Seeking prayer.

[88Case88]

Hi everyone. I’ve come to this forum for the purpose of seeking prayers, encouragement and guidance regarding my current spiritual state. To put it concisely I fasted and prayed for 7 days which eventually resulted in me having mystical experiences. This eventually led to me experiencing something like demonic possession. It’s been a hard road ever since.

I typed out my story at length to share it here but apparently there is a word limit so I will try to share it here as a text file. Feel free to comment or share anything similar and how you overcame but mostly I covet prayer. Thx

 

[Ceph]

Hi everyone. I’ve come to this forum for the purpose of seeking prayers, encouragement and guidance regarding my current spiritual state. To put it concisely I fasted and prayed for 7 days which eventually resulted in me having mystical experiences. This eventually led to me experiencing something like demonic possession. It’s been a hard road ever since.

I typed out my story at length to share it here but apparently there is a word limit so I will try to share it here as a text file. Feel free to comment or share anything similar and how you overcame but mostly I covet prayer. Thx

Your sins are paid for in full, as long as you believe that Jesus Christ atoned for it.
Maybe your knowledge is beyond lifting you. You have to lay the foundation, re-establish the sure cornerstone.
Remember that even if all your work is burned, you yourself will be saved through his name.
The spirit is beyond language. Voices can't destroy the promise.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Hi everyone. I’ve come to this forum for the purpose of seeking prayers, encouragement and guidance regarding my current spiritual state. To put it concisely I fasted and prayed for 7 days which eventually resulted in me having mystical experiences. This eventually led to me experiencing something like demonic possession. It’s been a hard road ever since.

I typed out my story at length to share it here but apparently there is a word limit so I will try to share it here as a text file. Feel free to comment or share anything similar and how you overcame but mostly I covet prayer. Thx

Thank you for the details.
I can appreciate your search for the Bible basis of all that you are going through.
First, it sounds like you were grounded in many fundamentals of the Word of God.
That is where you are ahead.
I can see one place that you are missing, but that is easily corrected.

Second, I thank God you stopped yourself from continuing in their deception. The demons were trying to get you to violate the last verses of the Bible. They are very clever and tried to appear as spirits of light or another spirit masquerading as the Holy Spirit.
They were trying to get you damned. However, it's time to settle this and not only get them out of you, but be assured of salvation based upon the Word of God.

Everything in the first paragraphs seems great. Your understanding that Jesus is not only perfect Man but God the only begotten Son of the Father. You know He suffered for and bore all of your sins upon the cross, was buried and arose from the dead on the third day.
He suffered in your place so you need not suffer in Hell as the devils which torment you.

Here's where many pastors get terms confused.
You were taught to commit yourself to the Lord according to your testimony.

"I would be invited to a Bible believing church and would eventually begin to have an understanding of Who Jesus was and what He came to accomplish. I committed myself to God and wash established in the faith."

That response is where most get confused. We both know that God is not the Author of confusion.
PLease read the gospel of John in the King James Bible. This is important because the other Bibles are not quite the same.
Every time someone is saved, it is not a commitment but it is believing/trusting/faith. Committing is not a synonym in the response to the gospel.
Why?
Just look at John 3:16
God so loved the world that HE GAVE.
Who did He give?
His only begotten Son.
That whosoever " commits their life to God?"
NO
What is the key response?
You already know that the Father committed His Son to atone for all of our sins and
that Jesus committed His life to the will of the Father to finish the work of redemption on the cross.
You and I didn't do any work....He did it all. We only believe.
That requires no work whatsoever.

How many times does that one gospel tell us that as the proper response?
100 times in the King James Bible gospel of John alone.
That's significant.

18He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

That's what you need to do immediately.
Now is the day of salvation .
He will never leave you nor forsake you when you really settle your salvation. You will be in His hands and He is in the Father's hand. You will be sealed forever by the Holy Spirit and receive the gift of everlasting life.


Just say this to Jesus.

Dear Lord Jesus,

I don't deserve to go to Heaven.
If I got what I deserved, I would be destined for Hell.
Please forgive me of all sins.
You paid for every one of them.
You suffered upon the cross so I don't suffer in Hell.
After 3 days of death, You took back Your life and arose from the tomb.
Please give me Your gift of everlasting life that you promised to me.
Thank You Jesus for saving me.
Amen

11And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. 13These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God. 14And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
I John 5:11,12,13

Now note that last verse.
If you prayed that prayer and are now confident based upon the Word of eternal life, then you can pray another prayer that I will lead you in tomorrow at first chance.

 

[crmvet]

Isaiah 54:17

 

[Deuteronomy]

I typed out my story at length to share it here but apparently there is a word limit so I will try to share it here as a text file. Feel free to comment or share anything similar and how you overcame but mostly I covet prayer. Thx

Hello again 88Case88, prayed/praying for you!

As far as your OP goes, you could have made multiple posts in a row to overcome the word limit, but I liked your attached text file better, so thank you for that

As far as what to do about the problem you are having, what you've done so far seems appropriate, but since it hasn't worked, at least not in the manner that you hoped that it would, I have a further suggestion.

To begin with, for me to say that I've had a similar experience to yours would be like saying that a warm summer breeze can somehow be compared to a tornado. Nevertheless, here's a little bit about what happened to me, and also, how the Lord got me past it and finally freed me from it.

I was raised in the church and always "thought" that I was a Christian (of course), even after I walked away from church and into the world (and into a very fun, but very sinful lifestyle) in college. This was the source of my trouble after finally becoming a (true) believer at age 30 (this very weekend, interestingly, 39 years ago, on Sunday, 11/2/86).

I KNEW that the Lord had forgiven ~all~ of my sins that day, as all of the guilt that I carried (because of my sins/that had become too much for me to bear) was also taken away from me in an instant, PTL It was, in fact, the very best day of my life. A wonderful/wondrous day that, for me, was like no other, before or since.

However, as I began to live my life as a new believer in Christ, I was immediately confronted by a terrible "rub" (which I will refer to here as my "thought-life"). I was definitely ALL IN (as far as being a Christian was concerned), but I think what happened is that the garbage in my brain (from my decade+ long sinful lifestyle) decided to come along for the ride with me , the result being a day by day, and often a moment by moment battle with simply horrible thoughts that kept streaming into my mind and just wouldn't stop). Dreams too, horrible dreams, dreams like I had NEVER had before becoming a Christian (I remember not being mad at God after experiencing the very worst one of all, but wondering in disbelief about why He allowed me to have it, or any of them for that matter).

As far as what I ended up doing about them, here's most of it. I continued practicing the basic Christian spiritual disciplines (Bible study, prayer, fellowship and witnessing), and a family friend of mine, who had been praying for years for my salvation, gave me a book by C S Lewis called The Screwtape Letters (when I told her what I was experiencing). Lewis' book, even though fiction, helped me gain a much greater understanding about how/why these horrible things were happening to me in my "thought-life". Unfortunately, while everything that I was doing made things a bit more bearable for me going forward, the horrible "thoughts" just kept coming.

What finally ended this never-ending problem for me (my HORRIBLE, PAINFUL, RELENTLESS, thought-life, that is) was a spiritual discipline that I was not aware when I first became a believer. This is the discipline that involves "treasuring/hiding/storing up" God's word in our hearts in a very special way, a discipline that a pastor on the radio (Chuck Swindoll) promised would solve the problem that I was having (and while I believed him, I did not come close to imagining how well it would end up working for me ).

This post is so long that I feel like I need to bring it to a close. If you've come to the end of your rope, and you'd like to know more about this particular Christian spiritual discipline to hopefully get past it like I did (which, in a nutshell, involves memorizing God's word .. verses and passages in the Bible, NOT the entire Bible ) just let me know, as I'd be happy to tell you whatever you want to know about it (and help you get started if you'd like me to, as well).

Blessings to you in Christ!!

~Deuteronomy (David)
p.s. - I will tell you this, Scripture memory work is just that, "work", certainly at first, but the benefits and blessings, both to you, and to those who you end up ministering to as a Christian, are far beyond those that we receive from the other spiritual disciplines (at least, that's how it is for me anyway).

Psalm 1​

1 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, ​

Nor stand in the path of sinners, ​

Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! ​

2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, ​

And in His law he meditates day and night. ​

3 He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, ​

Which yields its fruit in its season ​

And its leaf does not wither; ​

And in whatever he does, he prospers. ​

​

Psalm 37​

4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.​

​

Psalm 119​

9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Thy word.​

11 Thy word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against Thee.​

.

 

[Deuteronomy]

Hello yet again @88Case88, while you are considering what I just wrote, here's an additional, practical "Christian living" idea, too (to help you throughout your day).

Along with resisting Satan by REFUSING to receive/TAKING CAPTIVE the horrible/sinful thoughts that continually enter your mind (that I mentioned in your other thread), please begin to do this as well:

1 Thessalonians 5​

16 Rejoice always; ​

17 pray without ceasing; ​

18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ​

​

The way to begin this important practice, IMHO, is to start small,

1) by remembering to make the Lord a part of ~every~ moment of every one of your days (is it not AWESOME that your Creator, the King and Lord of the entire universe, wants to know you, and wants you to know Him too, personally ) and then,​

​

2) by looking for things, even the very smallest of things, to rejoice in and thank Him for in prayer throughout your day ​

This idea has been called a number of different things by different people, but what comes to my mind now is "practicing the presence of God", in your life. The reason I believe that this works for us (believers) is because the more of Him that we have in our field of vision (so to speak), the less that we see and experience of anything/anyone else, especially the "bad" stuff in our lives/minds, IOW.

God bless you!!

~Deuteronomy

 

[christianlloydteegardin]

Hi everyone. I’ve come to this forum for the purpose of seeking prayers, encouragement and guidance regarding my current spiritual state. To put it concisely I fasted and prayed for 7 days which eventually resulted in me having mystical experiences. This eventually led to me experiencing something like demonic possession. It’s been a hard road ever since.

I typed out my story at length to share it here but apparently there is a word limit so I will try to share it here as a text file. Feel free to comment or share anything similar and how you overcame but mostly I covet prayer. Thx

I'll be praying and will have all my prayers that whatever demons are tormenting you will leave in the name of Jesus. No "deliverance ministry" can do this, only the power of Christ our Lord.

 

[88Case88]

Thank you so much everyone who has given me encouragements. I appreciate all the effort each of you put in responding. I am reading and considering each thing said. Will continue looking to God as I go through this.

 

[88Case88]

Hello yet again @88Case88, while you are considering what I just wrote, here's an additional, practical "Christian living" idea, too (to help you throughout your day).

Along with resisting Satan by REFUSING to receive/TAKING CAPTIVE the horrible/sinful thoughts that continually enter your mind (that I mentioned in your other thread), please begin to do this as well:

1 Thessalonians 5​

16 Rejoice always; ​

17 pray without ceasing; ​

18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ​

​

The way to begin this important practice, IMHO, is to start small,

1) by remembering to make the Lord a part of ~every~ moment of every one of your days (is it not AWESOME that your Creator, the King and Lord of the entire universe, wants to know you, and wants you to know Him too, personally ) and then,​

​

2) by looking for things, even the very smallest of things, to rejoice in and thank Him for in prayer throughout your day ​

This idea has been called a number of different things by different people, but what comes to my mind now is "practicing the presence of God", in your life. The reason I believe that this works for us (believers) is because the more of Him that we have in our field of vision (so to speak), the less that we see and experience of anything/anyone else, especially the "bad" stuff in our lives/minds, IOW.

God bless you!!

~Deuteronomy

Thanks. I have heard the term from A.W. Tozer before. I can honestly say I have walked in it before, but I can’t say that I am currently.

I used to have the word in my heart and be blessed to have it “speak to me” in a sense. That is to say that an appropriate scripture would come to my mind for every occasion. They would just come effortlessly. After this happened the scripture no longer comes to mind in the same way but was replaced with these voices.

It saddens me deeply because I feel like I traded the certain Word of God for this madness I now know. I really long to have that back again. My deepest fear and trouble is that these voices tell me that I “fell” and tell me it’s too late for me. Naturally I resist because the enemy would say that in any case to weaken my confidence in Jesus, but I can’t pretend that my heart doesn’t entertain the idea that it might be true.

 

[88Case88]

Hello again 88Case88, prayed/praying for you!

As far as your OP goes, you could have made multiple posts in a row to overcome the word limit, but I liked your attached text file better, so thank you for that

As far as what to do about the problem you are having, what you've done so far seems appropriate, but since it hasn't worked, at least not in the manner that you hoped that it would, I have a further suggestion.

To begin with, for me to say that I've had a similar experience to yours would be like saying that a warm summer breeze can somehow be compared to a tornado. Nevertheless, here's a little bit about what happened to me, and also, how the Lord got me past it and finally freed me from it.

I was raised in the church and always "thought" that I was a Christian (of course), even after I walked away from church and into the world (and into a very fun, but very sinful lifestyle) in college. This was the source of my trouble after finally becoming a (true) believer at age 30 (this very weekend, interestingly, 39 years ago, on Sunday, 11/2/86).

I KNEW that the Lord had forgiven ~all~ of my sins that day, as all of the guilt that I carried (because of my sins/that had become too much for me to bear) was also taken away from me in an instant, PTL It was, in fact, the very best day of my life. A wonderful/wondrous day that, for me, was like no other, before or since.

However, as I began to live my life as a new believer in Christ, I was immediately confronted by a terrible "rub" (which I will refer to here as my "thought-life"). I was definitely ALL IN (as far as being a Christian was concerned), but I think what happened is that the garbage in my brain (from my decade+ long sinful lifestyle) decided to come along for the ride with me , the result being a day by day, and often a moment by moment battle with simply horrible thoughts that kept streaming into my mind and just wouldn't stop). Dreams too, horrible dreams, dreams like I had NEVER had before becoming a Christian (I remember not being mad at God after experiencing the very worst one of all, but wondering in disbelief about why He allowed me to have it, or any of them for that matter).

As far as what I ended up doing about them, here's most of it. I continued practicing the basic Christian spiritual disciplines (Bible study, prayer, fellowship and witnessing), and a family friend of mine, who had been praying for years for my salvation, gave me a book by C S Lewis called The Screwtape Letters (when I told her what I was experiencing). Lewis' book, even though fiction, helped me gain a much greater understanding about how/why these horrible things were happening to me in my "thought-life". Unfortunately, while everything that I was doing made things a bit more bearable for me going forward, the horrible "thoughts" just kept coming.

What finally ended this never-ending problem for me (my HORRIBLE, PAINFUL, RELENTLESS, thought-life, that is) was a spiritual discipline that I was not aware when I first became a believer. This is the discipline that involves "treasuring/hiding/storing up" God's word in our hearts in a very special way, a discipline that a pastor on the radio (Chuck Swindoll) promised would solve the problem that I was having (and while I believed him, I did not come close to imagining how well it would end up working for me ).

This post is so long that I feel like I need to bring it to a close. If you've come to the end of your rope, and you'd like to know more about this particular Christian spiritual discipline to hopefully get past it like I did (which, in a nutshell, involves memorizing God's word .. verses and passages in the Bible, NOT the entire Bible ) just let me know, as I'd be happy to tell you whatever you want to know about it (and help you get started if you'd like me to, as well).

Blessings to you in Christ!!

~Deuteronomy (David)
p.s. - I will tell you this, Scripture memory work is just that, "work", certainly at first, but the benefits and blessings, both to you, and to those who you end up ministering to as a Christian, are far beyond those that we receive from the other spiritual disciplines (at least, that's how it is for me anyway).

Psalm 1​

1 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, ​

Nor stand in the path of sinners, ​

Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! ​

2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, ​

And in His law he meditates day and night. ​

3 He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, ​

Which yields its fruit in its season ​

And its leaf does not wither; ​

And in whatever he does, he prospers. ​

​

Psalm 37​

4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.​

​

Psalm 119​

9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Thy word.​

11 Thy word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against Thee.​

.

I have struggled with this allot in my walk. I don’t know if you have read John Bunyon’s “ Grace abounding to the chiefest of sinners” but it deals heavily with the wretched thoughts life of the flesh. It tortured me for the first 3 years of my faith. Eventually the experience made me a very Gospel centric person.

 

[88Case88]

I'll be praying and will have all my prayers that whatever demons are tormenting you will leave in the name of Jesus. No "deliverance ministry" can do this, only the power of Christ our Lord.

Thank you. I am grateful for your prayers.

 

[88Case88]

So I don’t know if I articulated this very well, but I am waking up every night having this weird pulsating feeling in my body. When it first started around the time of the incident, I was waking up weeping heavily and my entire body was trembling. It was some sort of spiritual thing, and honestly it felt like I was experiencing what Jesus felt. I am not experiencing this to the same degree, but I am still waking every night having these ridiculously overwhelming spiritual experiences. It happened again last night. Why can’t I stop this?

I am troubled by this honesty because I have come to learn that Catholic Mystics have had these experiences. Honestly I do not think this is really from God. And in my mind the fact that they experience this confirms it’s bad. Catholicism is false and far from the truth.

This is so faith defeating. How could something have access to me in a spiritual sense if I belong to God?