My husband suffers from severe anxiety. He wakes up everyday throwing up because of how bad it is. Idk what to do for him, I ask him to pray with me or to read his bible and he won’t. I pray every single day for him and for god to open his mind and heart to him. I ask my husband to stop doing the things that could take him from god, like video games, certain music. Anybody else experience something like this?
I’m stuck
- Thread starter Juliadelores
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Its gard when suffering affects u but the person is not interested in listening. Be honest but gentle.
As a couple, its unfair to not consider the effects on both of you and not take action. Talking to a professional will be a good start .
For yourself, do things that strengthen an stabilise you.
But your husband may need a different approach than u.
As a couple, its unfair to not consider the effects on both of you and not take action. Talking to a professional will be a good start .
For yourself, do things that strengthen an stabilise you.
But your husband may need a different approach than u.
Criticizing isnt the way. If he feels like music and video games help him take off his mind then why not try to use it to help like playing together or putting on music you both like and dance and turn it into somethinf you both enjoy.
Getting someone to see a therapist is hard. Took me years. Someone needs to recignise he needs help and that therea no shame in doing so.
Have you maybe asked a therapist or councelor about how to best cope and encourage him?
Find things you both can do together and show him you are there and love him no matter what comes and keep praying. You can fast too.
Please keep us updated
Getting someone to see a therapist is hard. Took me years. Someone needs to recignise he needs help and that therea no shame in doing so.
Have you maybe asked a therapist or councelor about how to best cope and encourage him?
Find things you both can do together and show him you are there and love him no matter what comes and keep praying. You can fast too.
Please keep us updated
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As a person who has anxiety, and nowhere near as bad as your husband's, let me answer from the point of view of the one suffering.
One of my biggest weapons against anxiety can be music and games. So trying to get him to give those up is counterproductive. And someone who continually pushes me to give up those weapons is actually part of the problem, not part of the solution. And may even come across as the dreaded "nagging wife".
You don't state where your husband's spiritual status is to start with, but if he's not a Christian games and music aren't really going to hold him back. And if he is, and games and music have that much of a negative effect then there's a deeper problem that needs to be dealt with. If a person's heart is right such things wouldn't sway a them, despite outdated religious perceptions.
I get caring about a person's spiritual well-being, but trying to pressure them into making choices or doing things You deem as right won't work. If he isn't doing it willingly then it won't be effective. Period. And even he he were to cave in and go along with you it may even cause resentment on his part.
If you want him to read or pray with you, make it an offer. "I'm going to go pray/read now, feel free to join me at any time if you're up to it" with a smile has a better chance of working than anything else.
If all they're doing is giving meds and sending him home it's time to ditch the therapist and find someone new. Or only stay for the meds (as they are Part of treatment) but perhaps find a counselor. Counselors are less trained but are more likely to have personal experience, and thus a better understanding that can't be gotten through books.
Anxiety typically has a core root. Meds are there to help lessen the symptoms so that they are less of a distraction from counseling. Which should be happening to find the root cause. Meds alone are like a bandaid on a broken arm. So it's no wonder he's not getting better with no counseling.
And often times anxiety goes together with other issues such as depression, which your husband almost definitely has as well.
Depression, also something I have, is a whole separate monster.
On top of what I've already suggested I would advise you to find some mental health forums and join. Many will be broken down into subsections for different afflictions. Find the anxiety area (and depression as well) and start reading.
Here you'll find people's first hand experiences of things similar to what your husband is going through to help you better understand. It's also common to find spouses of those who have these issues on there as well. And they may have insight and advice for you to learn from.
Also go learn about these issues from a clinical standpoint. Go to various sites and get more information. I found one of my biggest helps came from knowledge of what was going on inside me and why. I spent years learning about myself this way. And now I have less guilt and other weight's that my ignorance kept me locked up in.
As the spouse you have a tough road. I have a gf and I know how much work I can be because of anxiety and depression. Sometimes I feel it's not fair for her. That she'd be better off without me. I've made sure she knows and understands how bad it can be, and she's still around.
But she also listens to me and works at learning or remembering what to do, and not do. And she's done a fantastic job and it makes things easier for me, which is a big relief and also helps me appreciate her even more.
Oh. And she's a Christian, I'm not, so you can imagine that she has the same spiritual desires for me as you do for your husband. But she doesn't push. She understands I need to make my own decisions, even though I'm sure she'd rather drag me to God whether I like it or not 😂😂😂
One of my biggest weapons against anxiety can be music and games. So trying to get him to give those up is counterproductive. And someone who continually pushes me to give up those weapons is actually part of the problem, not part of the solution. And may even come across as the dreaded "nagging wife".
You don't state where your husband's spiritual status is to start with, but if he's not a Christian games and music aren't really going to hold him back. And if he is, and games and music have that much of a negative effect then there's a deeper problem that needs to be dealt with. If a person's heart is right such things wouldn't sway a them, despite outdated religious perceptions.
I get caring about a person's spiritual well-being, but trying to pressure them into making choices or doing things You deem as right won't work. If he isn't doing it willingly then it won't be effective. Period. And even he he were to cave in and go along with you it may even cause resentment on his part.
If you want him to read or pray with you, make it an offer. "I'm going to go pray/read now, feel free to join me at any time if you're up to it" with a smile has a better chance of working than anything else.
If all they're doing is giving meds and sending him home it's time to ditch the therapist and find someone new. Or only stay for the meds (as they are Part of treatment) but perhaps find a counselor. Counselors are less trained but are more likely to have personal experience, and thus a better understanding that can't be gotten through books.
Anxiety typically has a core root. Meds are there to help lessen the symptoms so that they are less of a distraction from counseling. Which should be happening to find the root cause. Meds alone are like a bandaid on a broken arm. So it's no wonder he's not getting better with no counseling.
And often times anxiety goes together with other issues such as depression, which your husband almost definitely has as well.
Depression, also something I have, is a whole separate monster.
On top of what I've already suggested I would advise you to find some mental health forums and join. Many will be broken down into subsections for different afflictions. Find the anxiety area (and depression as well) and start reading.
Here you'll find people's first hand experiences of things similar to what your husband is going through to help you better understand. It's also common to find spouses of those who have these issues on there as well. And they may have insight and advice for you to learn from.
Also go learn about these issues from a clinical standpoint. Go to various sites and get more information. I found one of my biggest helps came from knowledge of what was going on inside me and why. I spent years learning about myself this way. And now I have less guilt and other weight's that my ignorance kept me locked up in.
As the spouse you have a tough road. I have a gf and I know how much work I can be because of anxiety and depression. Sometimes I feel it's not fair for her. That she'd be better off without me. I've made sure she knows and understands how bad it can be, and she's still around.
But she also listens to me and works at learning or remembering what to do, and not do. And she's done a fantastic job and it makes things easier for me, which is a big relief and also helps me appreciate her even more.
Oh. And she's a Christian, I'm not, so you can imagine that she has the same spiritual desires for me as you do for your husband. But she doesn't push. She understands I need to make my own decisions, even though I'm sure she'd rather drag me to God whether I like it or not 😂😂😂
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thank you for this, sometimes I can be overbearing and try so hard to fix him in every way that I can, that I don’t even realize that I may be pushing him away farther. It is very hard for me to watch the one I love struggle terribly. I was raised by a mom who gave me tough love and told me to get over things so I had to unlearn some bad patterns. I want to be there for him and make him feel supported. Thank you for the response, gave me a new perspective 👍
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I also struggle with anxiety but I know my triggers. For me, it's food/vitamin related. Caffeine and sugar can cause anxiety issues. (Alchohol is another culprit but I don't drink...just putting it out there for those that do). Lack of potassium and magnesium can also create anxiety.
I also don't have a gallbladder and have been told by Dr's that because I'm missing that organ, it's harder for my body to absorb essential vitamins. Namely, vitamin d. Lack of vitamin d can trigger anxiety and depression. Even those who have their gallbladder can struggle with properly absorbing vitamins.
So I'd suggest he get his vit d levels checked. Cut out sugar. If he's drinking lots of coffee, start weaning the amount down and/or switch to decaf.
This could be the root cause of the anxiety.
I also don't have a gallbladder and have been told by Dr's that because I'm missing that organ, it's harder for my body to absorb essential vitamins. Namely, vitamin d. Lack of vitamin d can trigger anxiety and depression. Even those who have their gallbladder can struggle with properly absorbing vitamins.
So I'd suggest he get his vit d levels checked. Cut out sugar. If he's drinking lots of coffee, start weaning the amount down and/or switch to decaf.
This could be the root cause of the anxiety.
There isn't always a spiritual component to things like depression and anxiety. Sometimes it's just chemical, biological, or circumstancial.
If I had to guess, he's in survival mode even though there is not a real threat, but with depression and anxiety it is not always logical. The threat exists in the mind and often manifests physically through a real sense of pain.
So while it looks like he's doing nothing, just playing games all the time, being lazy all day, he's actually not lazy. He's in survival mode.
If you see him smile or laugh sometimes, take advantages of those brief moments where he's feeling normal again and try to find a pattern. There may be certain things that make him feel better and you can use those to distract him for a bit from his pain.
If I had to guess, he's in survival mode even though there is not a real threat, but with depression and anxiety it is not always logical. The threat exists in the mind and often manifests physically through a real sense of pain.
So while it looks like he's doing nothing, just playing games all the time, being lazy all day, he's actually not lazy. He's in survival mode.
If you see him smile or laugh sometimes, take advantages of those brief moments where he's feeling normal again and try to find a pattern. There may be certain things that make him feel better and you can use those to distract him for a bit from his pain.
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My sister be calm . God works in marvelous ways . instead use this approach ,you yourself do most of the things you like him to adjust doing,don't be discouraged okay . in time he will join you in the practise . if his not reading his bible or seems not zealous for the things pertaining to life and God be nice to bombard his environment with things pertaining to life .. Like Christian tv .. Church activities with him . God gives life even to the dead so don't be discouraged . God bless