How to slow a new relationship without the woman thinking you're not that into her. Even though she's obviously the one
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Here's my story. ( This is gonna be a novel so go make some popcorn or something )
My wife and I were together for approximately 15 years. We were only married for about the last two or three of them. We have two sons who are twins, and are currently 6 years old. I have the custody of the children as she hit me with a car when the kids were one and a half years this woman literally strapped her two year and a half old kids into the car with me when I said I was leaving her and taking the children she put them into their safety seats buckled them and said goodbye to them and watch just leaving waved. What kind of a woman does that? Anyways that's the story for another day. I've been pretty secluded for the last 4 years just concentrating on the children and they're better man I'm completely avoiding any joy in my own life. After all those the job of a parent isn't it. Well I don't met this woman and she seems perfect but I'm scared because I don't know if after 4 years of being alone if I can trust my own instincts. I've only been with her for about a month but it really feels like it's been a couple years and I know she feels the same way. The biggest problem is there are children involved on both sides and the children of taking a liking more than normal so to the both of us. I am extremely worried that something will happen or something I didn't foresee happening destroying this relationship. Right now I don't see that happen. This woman literally seems perfect to me and we have not disagreed with each other once we haven't had one fight I get along with her better than anyone I've gotten along with in my life and she tells me the same thing. I just want to slow it down a little I know it's weird being the guy and saying I want to slow things down believe me I know how that sounds and the last thing I want to do is lose this woman or hurt her feelings or make her think that I don't like her as much as she likes me or something. How do I slow things down without her thinking of lost interest in her?
My wife and I were together for approximately 15 years. We were only married for about the last two or three of them. We have two sons who are twins, and are currently 6 years old. I have the custody of the children as she hit me with a car when the kids were one and a half years this woman literally strapped her two year and a half old kids into the car with me when I said I was leaving her and taking the children she put them into their safety seats buckled them and said goodbye to them and watch just leaving waved. What kind of a woman does that? Anyways that's the story for another day. I've been pretty secluded for the last 4 years just concentrating on the children and they're better man I'm completely avoiding any joy in my own life. After all those the job of a parent isn't it. Well I don't met this woman and she seems perfect but I'm scared because I don't know if after 4 years of being alone if I can trust my own instincts. I've only been with her for about a month but it really feels like it's been a couple years and I know she feels the same way. The biggest problem is there are children involved on both sides and the children of taking a liking more than normal so to the both of us. I am extremely worried that something will happen or something I didn't foresee happening destroying this relationship. Right now I don't see that happen. This woman literally seems perfect to me and we have not disagreed with each other once we haven't had one fight I get along with her better than anyone I've gotten along with in my life and she tells me the same thing. I just want to slow it down a little I know it's weird being the guy and saying I want to slow things down believe me I know how that sounds and the last thing I want to do is lose this woman or hurt her feelings or make her think that I don't like her as much as she likes me or something. How do I slow things down without her thinking of lost interest in her?
First off that wasn't even near novel length 
If this woman is as wonderful as you think she is, then I don't think you have much to fear by wanting to be cautious in how quickly the relationship progresses. And it's pretty normal to fear loosing some new good thing. But a month isn't a long time no matter how long it is or how close you feel. I'm also concerned that you say you've never had a disagreement because you should both be individual enough to have disagreements, and also because you want to know how you'll handle conflicts before you get too serious. Overall I think you need a good / wise friend you can share details with who can help you sort out what is reality and what is your heightened emotions and daydreams of having maybe found the one who could be your happily ever after.
Honestly though sounds like you're more at the point of setting expectations for how quickly things will progress than slowing things down (granted that's based on the limited information you provided) and women worth having who have kids will appreciate that you're not just trying to get into her pants as soon as possible (assuming since this is a Christian site that you aren't already doing that because that goes against like everything the Bible teaches about sexual morality).
If this woman is as wonderful as you think she is, then I don't think you have much to fear by wanting to be cautious in how quickly the relationship progresses. And it's pretty normal to fear loosing some new good thing. But a month isn't a long time no matter how long it is or how close you feel. I'm also concerned that you say you've never had a disagreement because you should both be individual enough to have disagreements, and also because you want to know how you'll handle conflicts before you get too serious. Overall I think you need a good / wise friend you can share details with who can help you sort out what is reality and what is your heightened emotions and daydreams of having maybe found the one who could be your happily ever after.
Honestly though sounds like you're more at the point of setting expectations for how quickly things will progress than slowing things down (granted that's based on the limited information you provided) and women worth having who have kids will appreciate that you're not just trying to get into her pants as soon as possible (assuming since this is a Christian site that you aren't already doing that because that goes against like everything the Bible teaches about sexual morality).
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I gotta agree with tourist. If you think she's the one then I don't really see a reason to "slow it down", at least by MY definition of slowing down. So what exactly is your definition of slowing down? Do you mean "stay friends" for a while longer? Wait to talk about marriage until later?
Even so, probably the best thing you can do is to just be honest with her about it, but then again that also kind of depends on how long you have known her.
Even so, probably the best thing you can do is to just be honest with her about it, but then again that also kind of depends on how long you have known her.
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L
Just curious if anybody here agrees with God?
Wives aren't like disposable toothbrushes that we replace periodically.
Marriage is a big deal with God, and many marriages today are actually adultery in God's sight.
Don't know what the case is here, but it's something that people should be questioning.
Wives aren't like disposable toothbrushes that we replace periodically.
Marriage is a big deal with God, and many marriages today are actually adultery in God's sight.
Don't know what the case is here, but it's something that people should be questioning.
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sorry I dont get it way too confusing for me?!
Popcorn is nice though.
iF you want to slow things down on tv you press pause. But you cant actually slow things. Everything is needs to unfold as it happens, maybe your problem is that YOU are on fast forward and need to go back to normal speed.
sorry you having problems but I would say leaving with twins in a car and your wife strapping them in porbably means she wanted them to be SAFE because you might be driving a bit fast? Then she hit you with a car, uh...someone is going TOO fast.
Popcorn is nice though.
iF you want to slow things down on tv you press pause. But you cant actually slow things. Everything is needs to unfold as it happens, maybe your problem is that YOU are on fast forward and need to go back to normal speed.
sorry you having problems but I would say leaving with twins in a car and your wife strapping them in porbably means she wanted them to be SAFE because you might be driving a bit fast? Then she hit you with a car, uh...someone is going TOO fast.
Easy. Tell her. And tell her why. If she is unable or unwilling to accept that, and a solid explanation to go with it, then it was never going to work out. Therefore you've not lost anything.
Your marriage ended sourly, you isolated yourself to be a parent for years. It wouldn't take much for a woman to seem better than she really is, to you. Not that she may not be a great person, but you should he questioning your own ability to see things clearly.
Being a parent does Not mean it's your job to be miserable for the sake of the children. In fact that is proven to make people worse parents. Parents need to take care of themselves, which puts them in a better physical, mental and emotional state to be a better parent.
There is no such thing as "the one".
Every single relationship has the chance to disintegrate, no matter how great the person and relationship seem at the beginning.
You Barely know this person. Keep perspective. You have invested so much, so quickly that you've put yourself into a precarious position. You definitely need to slow down, probably for reasons you're not even aware of yourself.
The first six months of a relationship reveal the least. The brain releases happy chemicals during this time that make it easy to get along with the person, that causes you to view them better and makes it easy to overlook any problems. It's after this 6 months (roughly, not exactly) that you begin to discover how you, and they, Really feel. As well as each person seeing the other more clearly and not through rose tinted glasses.
I've been in these "no argument" relationships. That doesn't last forever. Also I am no longer in any of those relationships. My current gf, we had a rocky start. On both sides. But we worked together to get past those things and now we're more solid than ever. I'd say one of my most solid relationships ever, in fact. And most balanced.
So just not arguing the first month doesn't mean anything. It's pretty common, actually.
When it comes to romantic situations the answers are often easy to figure out, but not easy to implement, because we become invested. And we'd rather keep things smooth than be honest. Which eventually will come back to haunt you.
Your marriage ended sourly, you isolated yourself to be a parent for years. It wouldn't take much for a woman to seem better than she really is, to you. Not that she may not be a great person, but you should he questioning your own ability to see things clearly.
Being a parent does Not mean it's your job to be miserable for the sake of the children. In fact that is proven to make people worse parents. Parents need to take care of themselves, which puts them in a better physical, mental and emotional state to be a better parent.
There is no such thing as "the one".
Every single relationship has the chance to disintegrate, no matter how great the person and relationship seem at the beginning.
You Barely know this person. Keep perspective. You have invested so much, so quickly that you've put yourself into a precarious position. You definitely need to slow down, probably for reasons you're not even aware of yourself.
The first six months of a relationship reveal the least. The brain releases happy chemicals during this time that make it easy to get along with the person, that causes you to view them better and makes it easy to overlook any problems. It's after this 6 months (roughly, not exactly) that you begin to discover how you, and they, Really feel. As well as each person seeing the other more clearly and not through rose tinted glasses.
I've been in these "no argument" relationships. That doesn't last forever. Also I am no longer in any of those relationships. My current gf, we had a rocky start. On both sides. But we worked together to get past those things and now we're more solid than ever. I'd say one of my most solid relationships ever, in fact. And most balanced.
So just not arguing the first month doesn't mean anything. It's pretty common, actually.
When it comes to romantic situations the answers are often easy to figure out, but not easy to implement, because we become invested. And we'd rather keep things smooth than be honest. Which eventually will come back to haunt you.
I'll be a lil personal here...I apologize...I just want to ask ,What's the reason why your marriage and this woman's marriage ended? thanks.
In my opinion... Things will be so much less complicated and simpler if you'll be honest and direct. Tell her what's in your mind.
If she is mature enough she will understand especially that there are kids involved from both sides...😊 I am not married and have no kids but i feel like You both need to slow down...it is not only about you and her against the world...you both have kids to consider also...
In my opinion... Things will be so much less complicated and simpler if you'll be honest and direct. Tell her what's in your mind.
If she is mature enough she will understand especially that there are kids involved from both sides...😊 I am not married and have no kids but i feel like You both need to slow down...it is not only about you and her against the world...you both have kids to consider also...