How long did your first relationship last?

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what I dont understand is why not just get engaged, isnt that saying you are an offical couple. Then its obvious to everyone else too.

thats whats called making an honest woman of a woman, othwrwise you are just making her lie to everyone about your presence.
 
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Engagements arent meant to be more than a year. I would say if they go on for much longer than that you are better breaking it off cos its not right to string someone along like that.
 
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Lanolin said:
Engagements arent meant to be more than a year. I would say if they go on for much longer than that you are better breaking it off cos its not right to string someone along like that.
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On this point we are in agreement, and that is typical of a long engagement, just stringing someone along. Regarding relationships, you either know what you want or you don't. There is no sense wasting precious months and years in wait of nuptials that in all probability will not happen.
 
Lanolin said:
Im not even gonna mention STDS. Oh I just did.
Well let me just say...HIV and other viruses are still around. They don't just magically disappear. So if you are going to be in a 'relationship' where its likely you are going to share spit or some other bodily fluid...this is how it spreads....
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I'm not a doctor but can tell you with certainty that it can only spread that way if one or both parties are at risk of spreading sexually transmitted diseases. It is best not to enter into such a relationship, disease not withstanding, but also because there will be serious trust issues. Without trust there is no foundation to build a relationship on.
 
Lanolin said:
what is the difference between dating and being 'in a relationship' people.
its confusing.
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In my opinion, dating is the prelude that decides whether or not you want to be in a relationship with that particular person. My policy is to only date someone that you would consider marrying otherwise you are wasting precious time and risking serious heartbreak.
 
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My first was about 6 months. I learned that being overly possessive and insecure pushes women away. Who knew right? At that point what I took away from it is that you can't trust ANY woman at all with your heart ever. My mom took off when I was one, my step mother treated me as a second class irritation in my own home, then my first girlfriend "my first first", leaves me to go play the whore at the bars with her sister. Yep I can't lie, after that I didn't have a very high view of women after that, for a very short while. Then God sent me the woman that would become my wife right after her. So I wasn't able to hate women too long, even though it was kind of rough for her in the beginning. Now 23 years later we've been married almost 15 years.
 
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well not everyone wants to get married tourist.
but they still want to date cos it gets you out of the house.
 
tourist said:
In my opinion, dating is the prelude that decides whether or not you want to be in a relationship with that particular person. My policy is to only date someone that you would consider marrying otherwise you are wasting precious time and risking serious heartbreak.
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they may not want to marry you though even if you want to marry them. Does that make it your fault for breaking your own heart then...?!
 
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Jimbone said:
My first was about 6 months. I learned that being overly possessive and insecure pushes women away. Who knew right? At that point what I took away from it is that you can't trust ANY woman at all with your heart ever. My mom took off when I was one, my step mother treated me as a second class irritation in my own home, then my first girlfriend "my first first", leaves me to go play the whore at the bars with her sister. Yep I can't lie, after that I didn't have a very high view of women after that, for a very short while. Then God sent me the woman that would become my wife right after her. So I wasn't able to hate women too long, even though it was kind of rough for her in the beginning. Now 23 years later we've been married almost 15 years.
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Nice to see you again!
 
Other than the puppy luvs, my first relationship lasted 8 yrs and married 7. We divorced bc he wanted us to be free of responsibility. He had a change of heart later but I had remarried. Both hubbies are now in Heaven. My son's dad I booted out bc of drugs and is roaming around LAngeles.
Lesson, find someone who loves God more than you, then you second.
 
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Going_Nowhere said:
So....pretty simple question. The first time you got into a relationship with someone....how long were you with that person?


Me, I don't have an answer for this because I've never been in a relationship. I won't tell you why because it's nothing interesting or worth reading.


So how long were you with this person? And what did you learn or take away from the relationship....if anything?
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Does it include one sided? I mean a boy romantically likes a girl but the girl whom you like take you as good friend only?
 
Lanolin said:
they may not want to marry you though even if you want to marry them. Does that make it your fault for breaking your own heart then...?!
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No, it would not be anyone's fault. As I have mentioned previously quite a few times, deciding to pursue a relationship that may lead to marriage is a calculated risk. Yes, in the instance you described this may indeed result in a broken heart.

This is my thought on deciding, after calculating the risk and weighing the pro's and cons, to pursue a relationship - nothing ventured nothing gained. I am a firm believer in the saying, 'better to have loved and lost than to never to love at all. That's how I roll 'em in regards to relationships. I will also add, once again, two main reasons for not pursuing a relationship are fear of rejection and fear of commitment.

The game of love is not for the feint of heart. That's just the way that it is.
 
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I remember the name but I don't remember the memories anymore 😁

What I do remember is... I was desperate,unwise and inexperienced about that thing called love 😅




What it taught me...

Always include God in everything and listen...I didn't ask Him from the very start and was very stubborn to listen.


Second, Make sure you both want the same thing because even if he thinks you are amazing,even if he keeps you around...even if he keeps on coming back to you... but he has no vision of where the relationship will go...let him go...because you, staying and waiting for him won't change his mind...

I am no saint I have had my fair share of flaws also but the red flags were too much to ignore already...I waited 5 years to finally end it (sighs*) didn't know that much 😁

One of my biggest flaws I communicate poorly . I was the master of silent treatment...I am still but I am trying to change slowly 😅

Thank God for giving me another chance and also for the lessons I learned from my past relationship. I'll do better 😊
 
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