How far would you go???

[thimsrebma]

anyone willing to come to Africa...???... or the middle east? that's where I think God is calling me to..lol
Funny how it's easy to move thousands of miles, pay thousands of dollars, for college... but not marriage......
I am so looking forward to see how the college years turn out ... if it's good then distance shouldn't matter... if not ....eeer..

I think its more acceptable to go away to college because you know what you are going for. You have an idea about what the school is and you have a goal of getting an education, degree and then a job someday. While you are there you have food clothing and shelter.

But on the other hand, moving away for a person you do not know well yet is very unpredictable. You dont know if you can go to school or find a job there. You have to find a place to live and how can you do that if you cant find a job? You are just banking on this relationship working out.

Thats why that situation would be so very hard. I mean you dont wanna just sit on the phone with someone for years and years. You want to see then and spend time with them in person. But it would be horrible to move across the country or to another country and find out that this person is not who you had been talking to on the phone for the past few months. Then you have to move back. Find a new job and or another place to live.

I just dont know if I could do it.

 

[grace]

I don't think there is really such a thing as a long distance relationship. The relationship really starts when the two of you start spending time together in person, not on skype or on a cell phone or in a chat room. I've heard several stories where people fell in love over the internet and then when they finally meet in person they find out that they are not the person they were expecting.

This does not just apply to *online* relationships, or long distance relationships. but often times those are the ones that require such changes. I know of a couple right now who just got engaged. She lives in the US, and he in England. They have decided that he will leave his life in England to move here to be with her.
I will try to explain a scenerio to see if this makes sense.

Lets say you know someone, and you are involved with them for a bit. BUT, their job causes them to travel and possibly live abroad. So the relationship seperates due to that. BUT, a number of years later your paths cross again. your at a different place in life now. What do you do? You already know your compatable with the person...they have a very solid career that they love. Would you be willing to go with them? Leave your house, job, church etc? OR, are you crazy enough about them to ask them to leave their job and life of travel and settle down to be with you? Because your happy in your life, you love your job and church etc?

Does that make a bit more sense?

So yea, there are a lot of different situations that can fall into someone giving up what they have known as their life, for love.

 

[Jullianna]

Yep..that's what I meant too, Grace. Not necessarily online stuff, but situations where you meet someone who doesn't live near you or who has to move away for whatever reason.

 

[See_KING_Truth]

well, you exchanged phone numbers....is it her cell? If it is, I suggest you text her. She does not need to be *available* for that. I guess you can maybe guage a bit more from her response to that?

I do text her, not as much as I used to because I quit getting answers to a lot of the texts. Part of it is my messed up phone service provider, but I know that can't be the reason for all of it. I am just confused about the whole thing I guess. I really don't know what to do anymore, getting to the point where I feel like I should just let it go...maybe its not in God's will for me.

 

[grace]

Well, I am an, Honesty is the BEST policy sort of girl.....and as hard as this may be.....I think you should just ask her. That way you can both stop ignoreing the elephant in the room. Maybe she is thinking the same thing about you? (and you have stated that you like her....so what she could be thinking is not even true.)

It sounds as if you'll always wonder otherwise.

 

[See_KING_Truth]

I don't think there is really such a thing as a long distance relationship. The relationship really starts when the two of you start spending time together in person, not on skype or on a cell phone or in a chat room. I've heard several stories where people fell in love over the internet and then when they finally meet in person they find out that they are not the person they were expecting.

I agree with this and have had the thought..."What if we do meet and we aren't what each other expected?" All I can say to this is that I have been completely real with her and feel she has been real with me. That is why I would like to meet in person and spend some time together to see if it feels right, but I also don't want to dish out the amount of cash for travel and lodging ect. if I feel like the initial connection has been lost...

 

[kiwi_OT]

I agree with this and have had the thought..."What if we do meet and we aren't what each other expected?" All I can say to this is that I have been completely real with her and feel she has been real with me. That is why I would like to meet in person and spend some time together to see if it feels right, but I also don't want to dish out the amount of cash for travel and lodging ect. if I feel like the initial connection has been lost...

I can understand this from my fiance's point of view.

I was absolutely honest with him from the very beginning and it was required that he visit me first (seeing I am much younger and female and I wanted my family to check him out). He spent A LOT of money to visit me and stayed in NZ for 3 weeks. Had I not been all I said I was, it would have had an incredibly devastating effect on him.

Theres always the risk of not ending up being together but their are some things you can do before you meet.
Make sure you agree 100% on where Jesus is in your life and where your going in your walk. Make sure that you are spiritually equally yoked with her ie you both agree on the same theology, roles, expectations of your relationship etc.
You need to make sure you know more than just feeling she is being honest with you. Ask closed questions where she has to reply with detail, and make sure you regularly discuss serious topics face to face on MSN/Skype whatever. Body language is so key and face to face conversations eliminate rehearsed answers and people typically say what they think as well as show it on their face.
I even had the nerve to ask Steven outright to his face if he had ever been involved in crime.
This is not to be mean or judgemental - YOUR heart is on the line. And anyone respecting this would understand and would be expecting the same from you.

 

[zeroturbulence]

This does not just apply to *online* relationships, or long distance relationships. but often times those are the ones that require such changes. I know of a couple right now who just got engaged. She lives in the US, and he in England. They have decided that he will leave his life in England to move here to be with her.
I will try to explain a scenerio to see if this makes sense.

Lets say you know someone, and you are involved with them for a bit. BUT, their job causes them to travel and possibly live abroad. So the relationship seperates due to that. BUT, a number of years later your paths cross again. your at a different place in life now. What do you do? You already know your compatable with the person...they have a very solid career that they love. Would you be willing to go with them? Leave your house, job, church etc? OR, are you crazy enough about them to ask them to leave their job and life of travel and settle down to be with you? Because your happy in your life, you love your job and church etc?

Does that make a bit more sense?

So yea, there are a lot of different situations that can fall into someone giving up what they have known as their life, for love.

Ok, so the face-to-face has already occured. Hmmm actually there is a woman I am extremely fond of who lives on the other side of the country and we've only known each other online for many many years. She is single and never married and if I met her first and she turned out to be the person I thought she was, and she asked me to move there I would do it as soon as I possibly could because I actually love her and have always loved her. She's one of a kind to me and even if she turned out to be a nagging, bitter woman I think I would still want to be with her. [sigh]

 

[Jullianna]

So....why aren't you with her?

I'm nosey...but only cos you're a great person and seeing you find happiness would be cool.

 

[GreenNnice]

Zere, THAT kind of feelings for someone by you tells me and others too undoubtably that Yes you CAN fine love online that is a real relAtionship.

Really

Zere, take the ride of love IF she is willing to MEET you halfway across the sky. Try to make trip a time of maybe upgrading/changing/getting work, too


The Lord leads. Follow. (And, Yes, i remember the información you volunteered to me about things in your life), the Lord, like a great pharmacist, He knows exacto the right amount, potency, and, time for a relationship and, my best advice, have NO regrets. Pray and then..go? No, not necesarily, but praying of doing that magnitude of a 'distant' act by you (and her) will let you know if to or not to....go.

 

[See_KING_Truth]

I never really answered the origional question to this post. I would be willing to go the distance if I felt it was for true love, God willing. It wouldn't be that difficult for me, not being rooted by circumstances, I am a free to roam.

 

[Hommer]

I would do whatever we felt peace about............if she would like to join me in my cozy abode and tinker around with the tractors and go camping or fishing that would be swell..........maybe go check the cows together after breakfast...............but if she couldnt move and was a good woman I would consider moving all my cra.....stuff to her house and just leasing out my house............

 

[thimsrebma]

I would do whatever we felt peace about............if she would like to join me in my cozy abode and tinker around with the tractors and go camping or fishing that would be swell..........maybe go check the cows together after breakfast...............but if she couldnt move and was a good woman I would consider moving all my cra.....stuff to her house and just leasing out my house............

What if she didnt want a tractor parked in her driveway?

 

[silverwind]

This does not just apply to *online* relationships, or long distance relationships. but often times those are the ones that require such changes. I know of a couple right now who just got engaged. She lives in the US, and he in England. They have decided that he will leave his life in England to move here to be with her.
I will try to explain a scenerio to see if this makes sense.

Lets say you know someone, and you are involved with them for a bit. BUT, their job causes them to travel and possibly live abroad. So the relationship seperates due to that. BUT, a number of years later your paths cross again. your at a different place in life now. What do you do? You already know your compatable with the person...they have a very solid career that they love. Would you be willing to go with them? Leave your house, job, church etc? OR, are you crazy enough about them to ask them to leave their job and life of travel and settle down to be with you? Because your happy in your life, you love your job and church etc?

Does that make a bit more sense?

So yea, there are a lot of different situations that can fall into someone giving up what they have known as their life, for love.

so you just build a new life an call it an 'adventure'
if you're in love, i say.... GET MARRIED!!!! (don't forget to invite me)

 

[Hommer]

What if she didnt want a tractor parked in her driveway?

I am a package deal, you marry me you get me, the cows, the horses, and the dogs

 

[Psalm2713]

I am a package deal, you marry me you get me, the cows, the horses, and the dogs


did you just say HORSES!!!? It will be easy for you to get married .... I love horses, mean everyone loves horses... and cows!!!!
Go Hommer!!!*cheer*

 

[zeroturbulence]

So....why aren't you with her?

I'm nosey...but only cos you're a great person and seeing you find happiness would be cool.

Well, we've been on-again-off-again as far as keeping in touch over the last decade or so and well I'm really good at putting things off til later, and honestly right now I don't even want her to see me the way I am. When I met her I was a different person. And thanks! I think you are pretty great too.

 

[thimsrebma]

I am a package deal, you marry me you get me, the cows, the horses, and the dogs

Are those your babies? they are so cute. I have a peke and a cocker spaniel. I also foster right now I am fostering a australian shephard mix.

I say the same thing about my dogs. We are a package deal. You want me you gotta take the pups too.

But with all of your clan, she would have to move to be with you. There is no way all of y'all could move to another state or country.

 

[Hommer]

Are those your babies? they are so cute. I have a peke and a cocker spaniel. I also foster right now I am fostering a australian shephard mix.

I say the same thing about my dogs. We are a package deal. You want me you gotta take the pups too.

But with all of your clan, she would have to move to be with you. There is no way all of y'all could move to another state or country.

What if she owned a ranch somewhere? I man can always dream cant he? lol

 

[JustxJeena]

I would stay in the US. And its actually more a matter of places I wouldnt go. Like california, az,new mexico, texas, alabama, mississippi, florida, louisiana, georgia, south carolina, west virginia, montana, the dakotas, wisconsin, utah, nevada, wyoming, nebraska, iowa, idaho, alaska, kansas, oklahoma....thats it off the top of my head. nothing about those states intrigue me, she could come here

Indiana it is?