How do you talk to people about sin?

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MaryM

Well-known member
Nov 25, 2022
513
320
63
#1
I asked someone in my family if he ever prays. From time to time I ask him about what he believes, I cannot push it because he just closes the subject.

I have thought, hoped prayed that over time I had influenced him to some extent, that some understanding has taken place.

He just replied no, he never prays because he has nothing to pray about. He says he is not a sinner and is 'hardly on death row'. Then he shut down and I knew subject closed.

I am so disappointed because he hasn't understood even the most basic thing that we are all sinners. That not one of us is sinless.

I do not know how to broach the subject again as I feel so disheartened. I shall just pray privately for him. I worry for his soul.
 

NightTwister

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2023
2,120
805
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65
Colorado, USA
#2
I asked someone in my family if he ever prays. From time to time I ask him about what he believes, I cannot push it because he just closes the subject.

I have thought, hoped prayed that over time I had influenced him to some extent, that some understanding has taken place.

He just replied no, he never prays because he has nothing to pray about. He says he is not a sinner and is 'hardly on death row'. Then he shut down and I knew subject closed.

I am so disappointed because he hasn't understood even the most basic thing that we are all sinners. That not one of us is sinless.

I do not know how to broach the subject again as I feel so disheartened. I shall just pray privately for him. I worry for his soul.
Until the Holy Spirit opens his heart he will never understand his sinfulness. Sinners are going to sin because it's their nature. Instead of talking to him about sin, pray that the Holy Spirit will renew his heart and convict him of his sin.
 

Eli1

Well-known member
Apr 5, 2022
5,012
2,173
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#3
I usually try a tactical move to subdue them first and then immediately tie their hands.
Once i have them in a secure position, then i start to preach.

But, adding to what NightTwister said you have to allow people in their own journey and then, this is the important part, you have to try Paul’s approach in Greece.
Meaning, you have to customize the message in an order that your target audience can relate and understand.

Different understandings of salvation also play a role here because some folks think that unless the other person doesn’t hear their interpretation of salvation, then he/she will go to Hell.
This unfortunately pushes the other person away.
So listen to the atheists, understand them and then tell them something they can relate to.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,601
113
#4
I asked someone in my family if he ever prays. From time to time I ask him about what he believes, I cannot push it because he just closes the subject.

I have thought, hoped prayed that over time I had influenced him to some extent, that some understanding has taken place.

He just replied no, he never prays because he has nothing to pray about. He says he is not a sinner and is 'hardly on death row'. Then he shut down and I knew subject closed.

I am so disappointed because he hasn't understood even the most basic thing that we are all sinners. That not one of us is sinless.

I do not know how to broach the subject again as I feel so disheartened. I shall just pray privately for him. I worry for his soul.
Until the Holy Spirit opens his heart he will never understand his sinfulness. Sinners are going to sin because it's their nature. Instead of talking to him about sin, pray that the Holy Spirit will renew his heart and convict him of his sin.

Hi Mary,

I often wonder if the biggest challenge of Christianity today is convincing anyone that they are a sinner, because people are always told that they are the victims.


Just to add to NightTwister's post about praying that the person will be convicted...

Many years ago I knew a woman who was very spiritually concerned about her brother, who was caught up in the party lifestyle. As you described, he didn't want to hear anything about God, and she got to a point where she had to stop trying to talk to him about it.

So instead, she started praying that God would take away the peace he had with how he was living.

It took several years and lots of ups and downs, but eventually he did turn around and become a very dedicated Christian.

There are no guarantees, of course, but maybe it might be something God leads you to pray over your family member as well.

Blessings to you and please keep us posted!
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,605
4,524
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#5
I asked someone in my family if he ever prays. From time to time I ask him about what he believes, I cannot push it because he just closes the subject.

I have thought, hoped prayed that over time I had influenced him to some extent, that some understanding has taken place.

He just replied no, he never prays because he has nothing to pray about. He says he is not a sinner and is 'hardly on death row'. Then he shut down and I knew subject closed.

I am so disappointed because he hasn't understood even the most basic thing that we are all sinners. That not one of us is sinless.

I do not know how to broach the subject again as I feel so disheartened. I shall just pray privately for him. I worry for his soul.

I just studied this subject the last 2 weeks. There's a whole lot in the Bible about it, so I narrowed it down to the parallel passages in the gospels when Jesus spoke to those in His home town.
I'll share some references and try to get back later when I get more time.
This will give you something to start studying since you are talking to family.
Keep in mind that even Jesus had the same burden for His people. He identifies with our sorrows. I thank the Lord that you care so much Mary M.
Most families don't have a saved loved one who weeps to God about their souls.

Mark 6:1-7
Matthew 13:54
John 4:44; 1:10,11
Luke 4:24

I have videos available that have good gospel presentations if that interests you. Those make it much easier to learn how to lead others to Christ. After watching and practicing with leading strangers to Christ, it becomes easier with family and harder cases .
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,137
30,282
113
#6
Sin is a religious construct, so people who are against religion (and there are many) will not and maybe even cannot acknowledge themselves as sinners or missing some mark set by a Divine Being in Whom they have no faith, trust, or belief. Finding common ground may help, which is why the 12-step program has had so much success. God is in fact central to the program, in terms of developing and maintaining a personal relationship with Him, and the starting point for many is that place known as hitting bottom, where a person comes to the end of themself. This allows them to be more willing to put such differences as believing in God aside to find the relief so desperately needed in finding freedom from the ravages of alcoholism or drug addiction... or what ever it is that has brought them to their knees, so to speak. Perhaps if you tried to plumb the depths of where your family member feels most powerless or defeated? But it seems he is onto your game plan and may resist any way you approach him. However, another reason the program works is because people tell their own stories of being broken and powerless and failures causing catastrophic damage in the lives of people they care about, and supplies tools (the steps) to help clear the wreckage of the past so people can move forward unencumbered by paralyzing guilt shame and fear. I am saying all this hoping to give you some encouragement or insight into ways to reach him that won't have him shutting you out immediately...
 

tedincarolina

Active member
Jul 25, 2024
495
94
28
#7
Hi @MaryM

Opening people up to hear the gospel can be difficult. It's really hard to find anyone who hasn't heard it, and have already discounted it. Thus when we come as 2nd or 15th in that line of proclaimers, people know what's coming and don't want to hear it.

Sometimes you can have success with the, "Can I tell you what I've found?" approach. Some can be receptive when you ask what they think happens when they die.

But if you're able to talk to them at all from the Scriptures, I'd encourage Daniel chapter 9. You may ask why? Well, when God was working with Israel in the wilderness, He explained to them 'how' they can know that there is a God in heaven. Prophesy! He explained to them that what He said of the future would always come to be and that any prophet who claim to speak for Him, a prophesy that didn't come true, that prophet wasn't to be feared and was subject to being stoned.

So, you might start out with, "Did you ever wonder if there really is a God and whether anyone can prove that?" That usually gets a response because the unbelievers all believe that we can't prove that there is a God. Therefore, we can't prove anything else about what this God tells us. I think that's why God told us of the way that we can prove that there is certainly a being that knows the end from the beginning. If you're curious about 'how' this passage does that, let me know and I'll be happy to break it down for you in a way that you can explain to someone else.

God bless you,
Ted
 

blueluna5

Well-known member
Jul 30, 2018
669
399
63
#8
I asked someone in my family if he ever prays. From time to time I ask him about what he believes, I cannot push it because he just closes the subject.

I have thought, hoped prayed that over time I had influenced him to some extent, that some understanding has taken place.

He just replied no, he never prays because he has nothing to pray about. He says he is not a sinner and is 'hardly on death row'. Then he shut down and I knew subject closed.

I am so disappointed because he hasn't understood even the most basic thing that we are all sinners. That not one of us is sinless.

I do not know how to broach the subject again as I feel so disheartened. I shall just pray privately for him. I worry for his soul.
That's a tough one. Personally I'd rather deal with people who get angry over religion. At least I can get a reaction. The closed off is a tough one.

I would say have you ever lied? Then you're a liar. How about taken God's name in vain? Stole something? Lusted after a woman? Etc. You would have to go off his reaction though. I mean I wouldn't keep going with it. Start by asking if he wants to hear about God. Maybe he doesn't 🤷‍♀️ make sure you bring up Jesus after calling him a liar 😆 let him know he is saved and loved. Tell him if nothing else you can always say thank you to God.

Otherwise keep praying. It's not really something you need to do much... just plant the seed and the holy spirit will take care of the rest.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,137
30,282
113
#9
He just replied no, he never prays because he has nothing to pray about.
People get results humbly asking God to reveal Himself in ways they can accept.
It's an important question, of whether or not God exists. Since He does, every single
person should want to know the plan and purpose God has for their life, and the
search for meaning and purpose crosses all lines and times. They could start by
seeking. Hardened atheists or agnostics may say they are not going to seek something
they do not believe to exist in the first place. Perhaps he has some sense of there
being something? Does he have any beliefs at all about spirituality? Or is he a nihilist?
 

MaryM

Well-known member
Nov 25, 2022
513
320
63
#10
Sin is a religious construct, so people who are against religion (and there are many) will not and maybe even cannot acknowledge themselves as sinners or missing some mark set by a Divine Being in Whom they have no faith, trust, or belief. Finding common ground may help, which is why the 12-step program has had so much success. God is in fact central to the program, in terms of developing and maintaining a personal relationship with Him, and the starting point for many is that place known as hitting bottom, where a person comes to the end of themself. This allows them to be more willing to put such differences as believing in God aside to find the relief so desperately needed in finding freedom from the ravages of alcoholism or drug addiction... or what ever it is that has brought them to their knees, so to speak. Perhaps if you tried to plumb the depths of where your family member feels most powerless or defeated? But it seems he is onto your game plan and may resist any way you approach him. However, another reason the program works is because people tell their own stories of being broken and powerless and failures causing catastrophic damage in the lives of people they care about, and supplies tools (the steps) to help clear the wreckage of the past so people can move forward unencumbered by paralyzing guilt shame and fear. I am saying all this hoping to give you some encouragement or insight into ways to reach him that won't have him shutting you out immediately...
That is very helpful thanks.
I have often told him my own testimony but he still doesn't understand a thing. Deaf and blind spiritually.
I think of the huge arrogance in fact of any man who says he is without sin and so does not need to account for himself. Not knowing that we are actually all on death row and time is running out.
 

MaryM

Well-known member
Nov 25, 2022
513
320
63
#11
People get results humbly asking God to reveal Himself in ways they can accept.
It's an important question, of whether or not God exists. Since He does, every single
person should want to know the plan and purpose God has for their life, and the
search for meaning and purpose crosses all lines and times. They could start by
seeking. Hardened atheists or agnostics may say they are not going to seek something
they do not believe to exist in the first place. Perhaps he has some sense of there
being something? Does he have any beliefs at all about spirituality? Or is he a nihilist?
He thinks he is a Christian because he is occasionally willing to go to church and lives a law abiding life. I suppose many people think like that and give it no more thought.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,137
30,282
113
#12
He thinks he is a Christian because he is occasionally willing to go to church and lives a
law abiding life. I suppose many people think like that and give it no more thought.
Oy. A pew warmer. Is it Catholicism? And odd that he goes to church but never prays!
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,137
30,282
113
#14
No. Just Anglican, if anything.
In my early days when I was trying to figure all this denominational stuff out,
I discovered that Anglican and Lutheran were very much like Catholicism.
At least in some ways..
 

MaryM

Well-known member
Nov 25, 2022
513
320
63
#15
In my early days when I was trying to figure all this denominational stuff out,
I discovered that Anglican and Lutheran were very much like Catholicism.
At least in some ways..
I no longer concern myself with denominations. I just believe in the Bible and in Jesus Christ.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
61,137
30,282
113
#16
I no longer concern myself with denominations. I just believe in the Bible and in Jesus Christ.
Mmmm, yeah, but would you become a member of a Catholic church or does all their heretical teaching bother you enough that you could not do that? But this is not about you, my apologies for the tangent, just trying to understand where your family member is at, which seems to be at a place which amounts to: he is not saved, and only goes through the motions at times. Do you see them often?
 

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
3,758
4,120
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#17
It took several years and lots of ups and downs, but eventually he did turn around and become a very dedicated Christian.
@seoulsearch
This is so encouraging...Just what I needed to hear right now for one of my granddaughters who is 18 ...She knows the Good news of the Gospel , she also came to church with me when she was younger...She is now caught up in same sex attraction , in a relationship for the past few years...When I found out , and I confronted her with Scripture , she seperated herself from me and our relationship was broken...

She reached out to me yesterday after I sent her a text , telling her I love and miss her...Hoping I can meet her for coffee , and pray the Holy Spirit will lead me to love her , and not be so judgemental towards her as I believe I was first time round...

I will continue to pray for her...xox...
 

Eli1

Well-known member
Apr 5, 2022
5,012
2,173
113
46
#18
Looks like you have a cultural Christian in your family.
I know what you mean. Some members of my extended family are Muslims or Atheists. I have tried to bring up the subject when appropriate to many of them but they don’t want to listen. Only my cousin who was a 30 year old atheist changed her mind.
But as NightTwister said, pray and one day maybe they will have a change of mind.
They are my family after all so i don’t hate them or het upset because they’re Muslim or Atheist.
They have to complete their own journey before changing.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,683
5,601
113
#19
@seoulsearch
This is so encouraging...Just what I needed to hear right now for one of my granddaughters who is 18 ...She knows the Good news of the Gospel , she also came to church with me when she was younger...She is now caught up in same sex attraction , in a relationship for the past few years...When I found out , and I confronted her with Scripture , she seperated herself from me and our relationship was broken...

She reached out to me yesterday after I sent her a text , telling her I love and miss her...Hoping I can meet her for coffee , and pray the Holy Spirit will lead me to love her , and not be so judgemental towards her as I believe I was first time round...

I will continue to pray for her...xox...
Thank you so much for sharing this, @Rosemaryx.

I think almost all of us have relatives/friends who are caught up with the alternative lifestyle culture in some way... and our spirits ache for them.

I will definitely keep you and your granddaughter in prayer! ❤️❤️❤️

God bless you for not giving up on her.
 

ImLova

Active member
Aug 7, 2024
222
176
43
#20
I am a sinner as every one. I'm glad I'm saved. I could not do it on my own is only because of Jesus.
I am also week a human an easy fall back in sin. Im glad I alway can turn back to God. He is full love and mercy.