How Do I know who would be a good spouse.

[Edith]

Hey dear CC friends. I am right now at the wedding celebration of a son in church. He is getting married to a girl from another church and he is not the first many before him would not get married to the girls at church, they say these girls are not fit for marriage. This worries me because they cannot say exactly why. so here is my question,
How do you know who is a good spouse?

What are some of the behavior you may have observed in a man or a woman that made you not to get engage with them?

 

[Lynx]

Hey dear CC friends. I am right now at the wedding celebration of a son in church. He is getting married to a girl from another church and he is not the first many before him would not get married to the girls at church, they say these girls are not fit for marriage. This worries me because they cannot say exactly why. so here is my question,
How do you know who is a good spouse?

What are some of the behavior you may have observed in a man or a woman that made you not to get engage with them?

That's a pretty big question for such a short post.

Personally I have decided to ignore the whole mess. If I see the lady for me, I pray I will recognize it. Aside from that I have resolved to suspend further analysis until I have something to analyze. And analyzing other people is futile for me because they are not me.

I know it doesn't directly answer your question, but I heartily recommend it as a solution anyway. I do sleep a lot better at night.

 

[Gideon300]

Hey dear CC friends. I am right now at the wedding celebration of a son in church. He is getting married to a girl from another church and he is not the first many before him would not get married to the girls at church, they say these girls are not fit for marriage. This worries me because they cannot say exactly why. so here is my question,
How do you know who is a good spouse?

What are some of the behavior you may have observed in a man or a woman that made you not to get engage with them?

When I have something in mind to do and I'm not sure, I ask God to make it clear to me. Also, to cut off anything that is contrary to His will. Emotion is a poor indicator of God's will. You can feel good and be entirely wrong or feel nothing and be in God's will.

The main indicator for a suitable spouse is character. Believers should find out if there are any attributes that they can't deal with. I'm OK with untidy as I'm not tidy myself. That would drive some people nuts. That's one example.

Watchman Nee advised that we should find out everything we can about a potential spouse. Once we are married, we need to close our eyes. We all have problems that will surface after marriage. We do not need to go digging. And trying to change someone else is a good way to destroy a relationship. Changing people is God's business, not ours.

 

[Edith]

When I have something in mind to do and I'm not sure, I ask God to make it clear to me. Also, to cut off anything that is contrary to His will. Emotion is a poor indicator of God's will. You can feel good and be entirely wrong or feel nothing and be in God's will.

The main indicator for a suitable spouse is character. Believers should find out if there are any attributes that they can't deal with. I'm OK with untidy as I'm not tidy myself. That would drive some people nuts. That's one example.

Watchman Nee advised that we should find out everything we can about a potential spouse. Once we are married, we need to close our eyes. We all have problems that will surface after marriage. We do not need to go digging. And trying to change someone else is a good way to destroy a relationship. Changing people is God's business, not ours.

Thank you
if I get well seek to know all that is to be known before the wedding. After the wedding close your eyes and don't see or be blind to mistakes.

 

[Edith]

That's a pretty big question for such a short post.

Personally I have decided to ignore the whole mess. If I see the lady for me, I pray I will recognize it. Aside from that I have resolved to suspend further analysis until I have something to analyze. And analyzing other people is futile for me because they are not me.

I know it doesn't directly answer your question, but I heartily recommend it as a solution anyway. I do sleep a lot better at night.

Thank you dear Lynx
Truly analysing will make you see faults all the time but Please permit me to ask this question, if you were to analyse what would you be analysing?

 

[Lynx]

Thank you dear Lynx
Truly analysing will make you see faults all the time but Please permit me to ask this question, if you were to analyse what would you be analysing?

I don't know yet because I haven't met her. I don't even know what I'd analyze, much less how or what results I'd be looking for.

 

[Edith]

I don't know yet because I haven't met her. I don't even know what I'd analyze, much less how or what results I'd be looking for.

Okay dear thank you

 

[Tall_Timbers]

Someone who appears to have virtues described in the Bible for men or women is a good starting point. Someone who is endeavoring to live in accordance with the Word. I suggested to my children that it would be good to know someone for a couple of years before marrying, to give you a chance to truly know them. Today there is a pretty sizeable percentage of people with mental health issues. Those will almost always cause problems with the the marriage at some point, so learn to identify signs of mental health anomalies and consider those before proposing.

When you spend time with the prospective mate, if they are rude to waitstaff or have negative things to say about one thing or another, don't brush that off but tuck away that knowledge because during the dating phase, people are on their very best behavior. That's why I believe two years is a good amount of time to court as a person's carefulness is sure to drop on occasion and the real person can be seen.

Are they good at managing their finances? Are they living large or living below their means and saving for a rainy day?

 

[CcGirl]

There are bible verses of good traits for a good wife, such as read in proverbs 30. There are also bad traits of not very good women to marry, such as a quarrelsome woman isn't going to be fun. And there's basics of recognizing character, which is to know how an adult child treats their parents.

HOWEVER, most people are NOT PERFECT. Most will have their flaws, both the bride and the groom. I know a pair who had true love, but the girl had major emotional problems. Turns out though, that she needed the man God put in her path, and though the woman has been more like a trial at times for the man, he needed her too as a relationship with her has pulled him into a much more vivid and meaningful life. They have been working through things and can only see their relationship as a blessed one, all the kisses, all the trials, and learning how to be there for one another.
No one married perfection, but they married who God gave them and the marriage continues to grow in blessings. They have true love and it's a wonderful thing to see.

But, it is still good to be careful of the relationships we bind ourselves to. Marriage is to be viewed as a convent, and understanding that should be looked into with a biblical understanding.

 

[CcGirl]

Sorry, meant to type Proverbs 31**
and Covenants**
People getting married should understand Biblical Covenants.

 

[Karlon]

Hey dear CC friends. I am right now at the wedding celebration of a son in church. He is getting married to a girl from another church and he is not the first many before him would not get married to the girls at church, they say these girls are not fit for marriage. This worries me because they cannot say exactly why. so here is my question,
How do you know who is a good spouse?

What are some of the behavior you may have observed in a man or a woman that made you not to get engage with them?

for a Christian, it's fairly easy to know who is a proper spouse. just read the Bible. men can read Proverbs 31:10 31 to learn about women. a Christian spouse should be a born again Christian, living all the virtues, characteristics, & observances God has put into us. expunging selfishness, vindictiveness, lazinress, defiling behavior, guile, naughtiness, all manner of filthiness & so on. he or she shall constantly be growing in grace of our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ. on the lookout always, to admit, identify, recognize & correct faults IMMEDIATELY! to ask Jesus for the right spouse is amust!

 

[Edith]

Is

for a Christian, it's fairly easy to know who is a proper spouse. just read the Bible. men can read Proverbs 31:10 31 to learn about women. a Christian spouse should be a born again Christian, living all the virtues, characteristics, & observances God has put into us. expunging selfishness, vindictiveness, lazinress, defiling behavior, guile, naughtiness, all manner of filthiness & so on. he or she shall constantly be growing in grace of our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ. on the lookout always, to admit, identify, recognize & correct faults IMMEDIATELY! to ask Jesus for the right spouse is amust!

Is Expecting all these not expecting too much knowing that we turn to have some engraved faulty opinions?

 

[Edith]

Is

for a Christian, it's fairly easy to know who is a proper spouse. just read the Bible. men can read Proverbs 31:10 31 to learn about women. a Christian spouse should be a born again Christian, living all the virtues, characteristics, & observances God has put into us. expunging selfishness, vindictiveness, lazinress, defiling behavior, guile, naughtiness, all manner of filthiness & so on. he or she shall constantly be growing in grace of our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ. on the lookout always, to admit, identify, recognize & correct faults IMMEDIATELY! to ask Jesus for the right spouse is amust!

Is Expecting all these not expecting too much knowing that we turn to have some engraved faulty opinions?

 

[Edith]

Is

for a Christian, it's fairly easy to know who is a proper spouse. just read the Bible. men can read Proverbs 31:10 31 to learn about women. a Christian spouse should be a born again Christian, living all the virtues, characteristics, & observances God has put into us. expunging selfishness, vindictiveness, lazinress, defiling behavior, guile, naughtiness, all manner of filthiness & so on. he or she shall constantly be growing in grace of our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ. on the lookout always, to admit, identify, recognize & correct faults IMMEDIATELY! to ask Jesus for the right spouse is amust!

Is Expecting all these not expecting too much knowing that we turn to have some engraved faulty opinions?

 

[Edith]

HOWEVER, most people are NOT PERFECT. Most will have their flaws, both the bride and the groom. I know a pair who had true love, but the girl had major emotional problems. Turns out though, that she needed the man God put in her path, and though the woman has been more like a trial at times for the man, he needed her too as a relationship with her has pulled him into a much more vivid and meaningful life. They have been working through things and can only see their relationship as a blessed one, all the kisses, all the trials, and learning how to be there for one another.

This sounds Christlike to me not digging too much in to the flaws but letting Christ have his way.
I agree when you say it's good to be careful.

 

[Karlon]

Is

Is Expecting all these not expecting too much knowing that we turn to have some engraved faulty opinions?

no. now-a-days, finding the right spouse is an interogation. you must triple check!

 

[CcGirl]

Certainly no one wants to get snared by a gold digger or cheater.


If someone is already at the stage of marriage, I would hope there is an established amount of love by that point. If there is love, and the two are Christians, then the relationship is hopefully growing into a phase of deepening that love through a married covenant with one another and God. There is a reason people should really understand the weight of biblical covenants, but also a deeper understanding of bible verses on love and forgiveness. Forgiveness? Yes, because there will be times where couples have to learn to forgive one another, as honesty and forgiveness are very important for relationships that are built on love and grace. In a relationship, both sides could become guilty of being unfriendly over one thing or another, and there could be difficult consequences by actions on both sides, the one who did the hurting, but also the other by how they react and respond. But, the bible gives us verses of how we humans are to uphold love, and love covers a multitude of sins (or wrong doings). So, if a relationship is based on genuine love, then true love will prevail and a couple will overcome their trials.
.
Here are some bible verses, but I do recommend couples deep dive into more verses on love and forgiveness to help with their relationship's foundations.

1 Peter 4:8
John 13:34-35
1 Corinthians 13:2-7
Matthew 6:14-15
Colossians 3:13

If there isn't a good foundation to a couple's relationship, then they might want to focus on what it means to live their lives with God at the forefront of everything.

 

[Edith]

no. now-a-days, finding the right spouse is an interogation. you must triple check!

True serious but very funny

 

[Edith]

Certainly no one wants to get snared by a gold digger or cheater.


If someone is already at the stage of marriage, I would hope there is an established amount of love by that point. If there is love, and the two are Christians, then the relationship is hopefully growing into a phase of deepening that love through a married covenant with one another and God. There is a reason people should really understand the weight of biblical covenants, but also a deeper understanding of bible verses on love and forgiveness. Forgiveness? Yes, because there will be times where couples have to learn to forgive one another, as honesty and forgiveness are very important for relationships that are built on love and grace. In a relationship, both sides could become guilty of being unfriendly over one thing or another, and there could be difficult consequences by actions on both sides, the one who did the hurting, but also the other by how they react and respond. But, the bible gives us verses of how we humans are to uphold love, and love covers a multitude of sins (or wrong doings). So, if a relationship is based on genuine love, then true love will prevail and a couple will overcome their trials.
.
Here are some bible verses, but I do recommend couples deep dive into more verses on love and forgiveness to help with their relationship's foundations.

1 Peter 4:8
John 13:34-35
1 Corinthians 13:2-7
Matthew 6:14-15
Colossians 3:13

If there isn't a good foundation to a couple's relationship, then they might want to focus on what it means to live their lives with God at the forefront of everything.

You are so on point. And that's what's it is all about. I am so in love with what you say. Please do you have a brother par hazard who is single, who thinks just like you that I can marry?

Jokes aside " what is lacking today and has been lacking for a while in our society is the Christlike Love. Love that doesn't fail let's call it the Agape, the unconditional love.
Imagine how filthy the Bride of our Christ is but Christ when to the cross for her and entrusted her with the task of winning others. Dirty soul winning over another dirty soul. His trust is not in us being good but in His ability to love us no matter who we are, where we come from.
This is the love that is recommended in our society even in Marriage except otherwise. Being able to love without waiting for a reward for your love.

However we have to make sure the person is a Christian. otherwise you get in to the worst thing ever being unequally yoked. Being smashed and used and you may end up worse if you are not strong.

So I recommend what my church does 6 months of counseling before marriage.

 

[Snackersmom]

Hey dear CC friends. I am right now at the wedding celebration of a son in church. He is getting married to a girl from another church and he is not the first many before him would not get married to the girls at church, they say these girls are not fit for marriage. This worries me because they cannot say exactly why. so here is my question,
How do you know who is a good spouse?

What are some of the behavior you may have observed in a man or a woman that made you not to get engage with them?

Hi Edith! Just curious, are the men saying that the ladies at your church are not a good fit for them personally, or are they saying that they would be a bad fit for marriage in general?