How Did Your Spiritual Journey Begin?

[seantspence]

Sean, i hope you dont mind me asking what part of the Bible did you read first and when did you notice a difference?

Sometimes we are just a repentance away from true healing

 

[LifelongLearner]

"Got a grip on your words. Very competitive and high-tech world we live in. A lot of good,
and a lot of not-so-good. I try to post interesting things as there is a great diversity among readers.
Finding some harmony shall always be a challenge."
God Bless.

Annoyed with myself, haven't looked in here for a couple of days friend. You are so right, since '20 it seems to me the world has gone mad and is becoming an ever more angry place, so the qualities which make us human are diminishing in many.

Give yourself some serious credit Bingo, you say many wise and beautiful things, God's blessings and all that's good for now

 

[LifelongLearner]

Sorry you had to go through all of that. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia back in 2010 after I felt like I was losing my mind. Ended up going to a mental hospital for a week or so. I remember being in the room next to the padded bedroom. There was a woman in there hitting all of the walls and screaming for hours. I was in a facility with some really nuts people. They ended up moving me to a safer area cause I was quiet and smiled a lot. They thought there was something wrong with me cause I smiled too much...When I did enter that facility originally I literally thought I was in hell. Felt like I was in hell too. My mind was burning and they kept feeding me pills, not knowing my diagnosis. Just trying anything to sedate me. They ended up bringing me there cause I threw a doctor and a few nurses to the ground cause they kept trying to give me pills. They strapped me to a bed and injected me with something and I knocked out and woke up at that hell place. When I got transferred to the safer area, a big black woman let me read her Bible. It was probably the only thing that soothed my mind and there was a glow about her. I played ping pong with a few asian girls who were there volunteering just to help out with making sure the patients were enjoying their time there. Eventually my God father and God brother came and rescued me and let me stay with them for year. I was literally right back to college the next week after experiencing that and I got a job as a dog handler at a doggy daycare probably a month after that. Looking back, I had no idea how I was just able to keep going. My mind was destroyed and I never was the same.

Then in 2015 I was rediagnosed as schizoaffective because of how high functional I was and then this year I got rediagnosed to bipolar, which I think anyone in the world would rather be diagnosed bipolar than schizo anything. Just due to the stigma.

You'd be surprised about how more advanced mental health treatment is becoming. Pretty soon, they may have something for you. You just got to believe there is nothing wrong with you, cause there isn't.

Totally agree with Daisy Sean, think you're yet another victim of the cruel system we live in. It increasingly seems to me those who think outside the tiny box welcome in this system are condemned, so those who don't conform are deemed to be a problem.

We're not, just know when something stinks and don't want to be forced to smell it. Glad i'm old and have the confidence to insist on this far but no further so far, when it comes to my own life. However, think the powers that shouldn't be want to put an end to such choice.

 

[Bingo]

Annoyed with myself, haven't looked in here for a couple of days friend. You are so right, since '20 it seems to me the world has gone mad and is becoming an ever more angry place, so the qualities which make us human are diminishing in many.

Give yourself some serious credit Bingo, you say many wise and beautiful things, God's blessings and all that's good for now

"I do hope all is well with you. Yes, we are living in a very restless and dysfunctional society
in today's world. A society that has surely lost its Spiritual equilibrium. Morality has become
profoundly out of order. I believe the "Christian" society as a whole, collectively has turned to
their own worldly desires. A "great falling away from God" has been told of...and would come to be.
Thank you for your thoughts."
God be with you."

 

[seantspence]

Totally agree with Daisy Sean, think you're yet another victim of the cruel system we live in. It increasingly seems to me those who think outside the tiny box welcome in this system are condemned, so those who don't conform are deemed to be a problem.

We're not, just know when something stinks and don't want to be forced to smell it. Glad i'm old and have the confidence to insist on this far but no further so far, when it comes to my own life. However, think the powers that shouldn't be want to put an end to such choice.

I think if I just didn’t stop going to church when I was younger, I would have never faced that situation. Took 13 years to rebel against the system. 1 more year after that to find a nurse practitioner that will put me on a more natural path of health.

 

[LifelongLearner]

Sometimes we are just a repentance away from true healing

That is so beautiful and true Sean, spoke to my heart and mind. Really recommend to others on this thread to read through the exchange between Daisy and you.

i'm wiping tears from my eyes but thank both of you for what i've learned from reading it, God's blessings and love and hugs from me to you both.

 

[LifelongLearner]

I think if I just didn’t stop going to church when I was younger, I would have never faced that situation. Took 13 years to rebel against the system. 1 more year after that to find a nurse practitioner that will put me on a more natural path of health.

Praying that you'll find much beauty and knowledge can come from such harsh experiences, think you have the sort of mind that will when you fully recover.

Both of you will be in my prayers, love and blessings to you both.

 

[LifelongLearner]

"I do hope all is well with you. Yes, we are living in a very restless and dysfunctional society
in today's world. A society that has surely lost its Spiritual equilibrium. Morality has become
profoundly out of order. I believe the "Christian" society as a whole, collectively has turned to
their own worldly desires. A "great falling away from God" has been told of...and would come to be.
Thank you for your thoughts."
God be with you."
View attachment 268583

You see things so clearly and express them beautifully friend, another comment of yours to treasure. God's blessings and a big hug from me for now

 

[seantspence]

That is so beautiful and true Sean, spoke to my heart and mind. Really recommend to others on this thread to read through the exchange between Daisy and you.

i'm wiping tears from my eyes but thank both of you for what i've learned from reading it, God's blessings and love and hugs from me to you both.

I truly appreciate that. It’s been quite the 14 years. Having close friends during that time, telling me not to read the Bible because it’s bad for my mind. Same friend who told me to say the sinners prayer and accept Jesus as my lord and savior convincing me that and me believing him because he comes from a Christian family and his dad was a pastor. I spent ten years old my life being his best friend because I thought that was a real Christian friend. The more I learned about Christianity from Paul, the more I realized that my friend didn’t have godly characteristics and that he was just trying to control me. So one day I just text that we are no longer friends. It was one of the hardest things i had to do. He wanted me to have every decision I made go through him first for him to approve it or not. Just crazy stuff. There were moments where he said his family was going to have to move in and live with him, where all the money I made would have to go to him, a conservatorship. The moment I told my Christian therapist all of this a year ago, she immediately empathized with me and and suggested I create some boundaries but instead of boundaries i just cut him out of my life. No more being led by Joshua. Now just trusting God and things just seem to work out.

 

[LifelongLearner]

I truly appreciate that. It’s been quite the 14 years. Having close friends during that time, telling me not to read the Bible because it’s bad for my mind. Same friend who told me to say the sinners prayer and accept Jesus as my lord and savior convincing me that and me believing him because he comes from a Christian family and his dad was a pastor. I spent ten years old my life being his best friend because I thought that was a real Christian friend. The more I learned about Christianity from Paul, the more I realized that my friend didn’t have godly characteristics and that he was just trying to control me. So one day I just text that we are no longer friends. It was one of the hardest things i had to do. He wanted me to have every decision I made go through him first for him to approve it or not. Just crazy stuff. There were moments where he said his family was going to have to move in and live with him, where all the money I made would have to go to him, a conservatorship. The moment I told my Christian therapist all of this a year ago, she immediately empathized with me and and suggested I create some boundaries but instead of boundaries i just cut him out of my life. No more being led by Joshua. Now just trusting God and things just seem to work out.

Seemed the best reaction to your last comment Sean, really agree with the choices you made, especially ditching that so-called friend. In all fairness it probably was pure concern for you at first. However, it's easy for such things to spiral out of control if you haven't yet made a habit of questioning your motives.

Absolutely promise i'm not saying this just to make you feel good but you seem to have learned a lot from that experience. Truly surprised how grounded you seem and looks like you've learned/inwardly digested much from it, in a way that will benefit you and others you're close to in future.

Kudos to you, think the LORD is keeping an eye on you too, hugs and all that's good to you friend.

 

[Magenta]

Top o' the morn sweet friend, not a netflix, amazon etc addict, so rely on friends to inform
me of new series i 'll like. You've just done that, My Demon looks worth a binge watch to me.

Some stuff to sort so won't be around much today, might have an hour or so later. Blessings, cheers and hugs for now

I hope you had a good day, yesterday! It is so odd for me at work right now because we are really busy, but there is not a lot for me to do. We are in the midst of printing back-to-school orders, which get what we call a "bulk" correction, which means that two or three hours of printing time (and sometimes more!) is accomplished with one correction applied to the whole order. There are a very many such orders. It also means I go to work and sit in the lunchroom most of the day, puttering around the site and also designing panels, some which are begun and pretty much finished while at work. This is not a new thing for me, though sometimes I honestly wonder, how long can it go on for? And it is not like I can do it forever, either. I was involuntarily retired at 65 with the COVID closures, which coincided with my cancer diagnosis, giving me all the time I needed to go through my treatments and surgeries etc., and then once that was all done my boss called me back to work because someone was leaving. Someone, I might add, that I never really got along with and who tried to do my job while I was absent and failed miserably. She had been gunning for my job for a while, and probably thought it was easy peasy, because all I do is sit at a monitor and adjust dials, right? LOL. In two weeks I'll have been back two years. Six hour days three days a week is great...

I am moving this to your thread because I want to respond to a number of things you've said without derailing @Eli1 's thread. I believe My Demon was my very first K drama and I was definitely impressed with the level of production, actors, story-line/plot, photography etc. I was on a bit of a Sabbatical from designing from late last year when I watched it in February, and have seen quite a few K dramas since then. I was trying to find the list of many of them I've seen in case you missed it (I have added to the original list)... Crash Landing On You (was darling, and is considered the gold standard for K dramas); Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha, Sisyphus, Our Blues, Miss Night and Day, The Atypical Family, Castaway Diva, Start-Up, 20th Century Girl, Once Upon a Small Town, Thirty-Nine (never finished),... I just could not watch that one many rave about, what's it called? Oh! Squid Game. LOL. There may be others. I really need to keep better records, but I have so much going on at any given time, added to my general laissez faire attitude and level of procrastination... You recommended a series of posts to me, also, but I just do not have the energy or concentration at times to follow involved exchanges between others.

I do not recall if I have posted a picture of my kitty cat to you. Perhaps you can show it to your beautiful Princess and she and Luna can be friends LOL. I call Luna a pillow princess because if there is a pillow she will lay on it. That is so typical for cats. The other day the zippered bag I put my laptop in before I stuff it in my knapsack ended up on the floor, and fairly immediately, there Luna was, enjoying laying on top of it as if was there for her express pleasure. LOL

There may have been other things I wanted to respond to but I may have said enough for
now. You have been very kind to me and I do appreciate that, so hugs right back atcha...

I will add, though, that I would like to respond to your OP question, though it is difficult to know how
to begin. Heh, reminds me of a yearly milestone cake I took in AA, when I said something similar,
about not knowing where to begin, ... so I will start at the beginning, I said... "I was born... "

 

[Magenta]

Here are the two panels I designed yesterday, the first while at work and the
second one yesterday evening after work, both in relation to the same issue.

1 Corinthians 2:13

2 Corinthians 6:1b-2 (Isaiah 49:8)
It is quite maddening that I had saved the info for both these panels when I finished and posted them yesterday
but the info was missing from my document this morning. That happens too often and I do not know why .
I know I save the file info, the url, the first place posted... always. Then info goes missing. Why? Ugh.

It is helpful for me to see the image outside of the design program (photoshop) which has a very dark charcoal grey background, as it can look quite different on a white background such as we have here... and the colour/contrast also changes depending on the ambient light it is viewed under, which of course changes throughout the day. That is why there are no windows in my department at work. I have been designing these panels over a number of years now on three different devices, and each device displays differently, as would anybody else's device. They look quite different on my phone also. Phones really punch things up with chroma and contrast, so I don't go by what I see there, although sometimes I am surprised to see something -a colour- on my phone that I do not notice on my laptop. Sometimes I view my panels many times under various lighting conditions and change them just as many times until there comes a point I just have to stop. LOL I have made edits to the second one since I first posted it (both in the Word of God is not a secret code thread.)

PS~ the second image is not showing up here (I am seeing a service unavailable image instead) but it does show up
when I paste in just the url in a different address bar ... and it is a new upload, so I trust it will eventually show up...

 

[seantspence]

Seemed the best reaction to your last comment Sean, really agree with the choices you made, especially ditching that so-called friend. In all fairness it probably was pure concern for you at first. However, it's easy for such things to spiral out of control if you haven't yet made a habit of questioning your motives.

Absolutely promise i'm not saying this just to make you feel good but you seem to have learned a lot from that experience. Truly surprised how grounded you seem and looks like you've learned/inwardly digested much from it, in a way that will benefit you and others you're close to in future.

Kudos to you, think the LORD is keeping an eye on you too, hugs and all that's good to you friend.

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words. It really means a lot to me. I am deeply moved.

 

[enril]

Real cheers for that, it's lovely coming from someone who suffers/suffered the problem too and yep! I too have strong depressive tendencies and among those i know who experience the problem, being prone to depression is very common. They both are strongly linked to chemical imbalance in the brain, binge drinking is very possibly overdosing on feel good chemicals, we sometimes don't realise it's what is happening in time.

Your boss sounds a wise, compassionate man, think you received the best help possible and you were still so young. Think women are less prone to drinking regularly than men but it was very dangerous for me when i did. For me it was bolt from the blue stuff, suddenly finding i just didn't want to smoke or drink, before my spiritual interests took hold. So glad they have, these are very frightening, troubling times and the new knowledge really helps me understand much more.

Thanks again, God's blessings to you and hope we chat again.

I also get very deppressed and suicidal whenever I do things. like look at porn, or thnk too much.

 

[seoulsearch]

I also get very deppressed and suicidal whenever I do things. like look at porn, or thnk too much.

Feel free to come and talk to us here when you're feeling down.

I really hope we can help. ❤️

And we will surely pray 🙏🏼 for you.

 

[enril]

Feel free to come and talk to us here when you're feeling down.

I really hope we can help. ❤️

And we will surely pray 🙏🏼 for you.

yeah. thats what i do.
I have been feeling down lately. because i am masturbating again. and it feels harmless. but as in another thread, kisiing is not bad itself, just what it can cause. same sorta with masturbating.
and i have been reflecting on my past. i have had some trauma in the past. as a child, some, unrelated to my recent past.

you do.

thank you.
~David

 

[enril]

yeah. thats what i do.
I have been feeling down lately. because i am masturbating again. and it feels harmless. but as in another thread, kisiing is not bad itself, just what it can cause. same sorta with masturbating.
and i have been reflecting on my past. i have had some trauma in the past. as a child, some, unrelated to my recent past.

you do.

thank you.
~David

i have some very strange habits.
I have worn jeans for the last year and have taken them off for a total of about 3 days in that time.
Because i am afraid of my penis. its no fair that grls get bras and men dont get something for our penis.

I have only recently (last month) begun exposing more than my hand and face (meaning arms) ever.

 

[seoulsearch]

yeah. thats what i do.
I have been feeling down lately. because i am masturbating again. and it feels harmless. but as in another thread, kisiing is not bad itself, just what it can cause. same sorta with masturbating.
and i have been reflecting on my past. i have had some trauma in the past. as a child, some, unrelated to my recent past.

you do.

thank you.
~David

Hi David,

I'm really sorry to hear about your past trauma and can definitely understand how that shapes what we're drawn to. I will definitely pray for you. Most everyone here is struggling, or has struggled, with similar things, so don't feel like you're alone.

Let's talk about some of the great things you're doing -- I've been enjoying reading your posts and you have a good sense of humor! We are enjoying having you here.

 

[enril]

Hi David,

I'm really sorry to hear about your past trauma and can definitely understand how that shapes what we're drawn to. I will definitely pray for you. Most everyone here is struggling, or has struggled, with similar things, so don't feel like you're alone.

Let's talk about some of the great things you're doing -- I've been enjoying reading your posts and you have a good sense of humor! We are enjoying having you here.

yeah. as i posted earlier, 30% of commited christian teens struggle with porn.

yeah. I love your posts. they really have made me think.
I am doing some great and not so great things. my life is a mess right now.
my mind is a mess right now.
NF is a light to me.
I have a good friend. she is helping me. simply being here. talking to me.
I read. Do you Read?
I am mostly staying clear of bad things.

 

[seoulsearch]

i have some very strange habits.
I have worn jeans for the last year and have taken them off for a total of about 3 days in that time.
Because i am afraid of my penis. its no fair that grls get bras and men dont get something for our penis.

I have only recently (last month) begun exposing more than my hand and face (meaning arms) ever.

You're afraid of causing some kind of damage?

Forgive me for not knowing these things, but I don't know if the types of protective garments or gear for sports could be worn on a daily basis?

I'm not sure what you think bras do? They're just an added layer of clothing.

Do you have a trusted pastor, male counselor, or confidant you could talk to about this?