I'm in the same boat as you dude. At least physically...Mentally definitely not. Spiritually, idk how the Lord sees me.
I know think they way that Jesus talked about adultery is very important and that if it's the Lord that effected that in your life it isn't really anything that "you" did. Unless you had a Joseph experience...I've had a few but I know that wasn't me, it was the Lord telling me to run and I did, but I did entertain and allow things into my heart that even to this day are still there unfortunately
I'm at the point where I think it can get out of balance and create a fear of being around women and you can sort of "closet" yourself to romantic relationships in general. Or a sense of entitlement.
If you post this in the appropriate forum I can share a little bit more but basically the only time I bring it up is if someone else does. Or if I need a "credibility card" for my commitment to what the Lord has said when people think I'm so new to this just because I have doubts or frustrations. Yes I'm frustrated that I'm single...yes I'm frustrated on silence on that issue...and it does raise questions.
Just be considerate of younger users. I DO feel your pain on the issue and resonate with pretty much everything you said. It is a tough topic in churches and it produces anger and whataboutism in me at times...but it's not about others it's about you and the Lord although for some reason I think you know that
Anyway man, welcome to the forums. I would encourage you to be clandestine about certain things. You can use physical intimacy instead of "sex". People know how to read between the lines...Just keep praying and seeking. I sincerely hope that it's in the Lord's plan...alls I'm sayin'