Okay, I know its a weird title for this post..but its totally true. I started singing on the worship team 3 weeks ago. We have a new worship leader in the church and I have noticed the past couple of weeks, him starting to do things like "love" my photos on facebook, and constantly complimenting me, giving shout out's to me during the livestream for things like help him feel better(i gave some simple advice to fix his shoulder) and talking on the livestream about the movie night i put together and how much he enjoyed it. Tonight he kept telling me how annointed a team we are at worship and how he loves worshipping with me and when he came to the movie night, he was kind of flirty and sitting really close next to me on the couch and he wants me to be his accountability partner because he just got out of a relationship with a women back in November and she has apparently become jealous of us doing worship together and I had just been dumped in the beginning of January, so he wants us to make a pact to not talk to our ex's now.
This week, we are supposed to be going out for coffee together to "Get to know each other better" and then this friday, we are supposed to be doing a group dinner/games night together with a few friends.
Point is.. help! Has this ever happend to anyone before? The part that makes it difficult, is that I still very much love the person that broke up with me and while I am not 100% sure, I feel like I am supposed to wait for them. That, it's over right now because they need healing from there first marriage still. But am i stupid for waiting? Am i stupid for saying "God i will wait for him until he is ready?" Am i just missing opportunities then? Thing is, this worship leader is nice..kind..friendly..funny.. but he isn't exactly the kind of guy i would personally date. Somtimes i think he is attractive and other times i do not think so at all. Its true, during worship, we definitly make a great team.. but outside of that? Also, something that concerns me, is his choice in past women in relationship. His first wife, he chose someone who could have almsot been his mother, cause she was significantly older. His first relationship after his divorce, he chose someone who is incredibly needy and jealous and needs to be saved. Somtimes i look at that and go "is there something wrong with this picture?" "Is he attracted to women he thinks need saving?" I dont know..
I guess i am freaking out and i feel guilty. It feels like its cheating on my ex to date someone else. I told him that i would wait for him because he was worth waiting for. My heart loves him. I pray for him every single night..him and his children. We didnt end on bad terms at all. The reason it ended, is because he felt like God was telling him he needed to heal some more and he shouldnt be in a romantic relationship at all. We both had felt like we were supposed to get married and do ministry together. We had dreams, visions, prophetic words about the future. .. UGH i feel crazy even keeping hope alive.
What do i do? I feel like this thing with the worship leader will just keep on growing and thing is.. there is no one else on the worship team..its just me and him and there is no other worship leader. He is it. So its like, if i dont want to do it with him, i would have to literally leave the worship team. We are pretty cautious in not being alone and we dont practice on our own..people are always around.. Sometimes it just seems..intimate? during worship? I'm worried about soul ties.
Help!
This week, we are supposed to be going out for coffee together to "Get to know each other better" and then this friday, we are supposed to be doing a group dinner/games night together with a few friends.
Point is.. help! Has this ever happend to anyone before? The part that makes it difficult, is that I still very much love the person that broke up with me and while I am not 100% sure, I feel like I am supposed to wait for them. That, it's over right now because they need healing from there first marriage still. But am i stupid for waiting? Am i stupid for saying "God i will wait for him until he is ready?" Am i just missing opportunities then? Thing is, this worship leader is nice..kind..friendly..funny.. but he isn't exactly the kind of guy i would personally date. Somtimes i think he is attractive and other times i do not think so at all. Its true, during worship, we definitly make a great team.. but outside of that? Also, something that concerns me, is his choice in past women in relationship. His first wife, he chose someone who could have almsot been his mother, cause she was significantly older. His first relationship after his divorce, he chose someone who is incredibly needy and jealous and needs to be saved. Somtimes i look at that and go "is there something wrong with this picture?" "Is he attracted to women he thinks need saving?" I dont know..
I guess i am freaking out and i feel guilty. It feels like its cheating on my ex to date someone else. I told him that i would wait for him because he was worth waiting for. My heart loves him. I pray for him every single night..him and his children. We didnt end on bad terms at all. The reason it ended, is because he felt like God was telling him he needed to heal some more and he shouldnt be in a romantic relationship at all. We both had felt like we were supposed to get married and do ministry together. We had dreams, visions, prophetic words about the future. .. UGH i feel crazy even keeping hope alive.
What do i do? I feel like this thing with the worship leader will just keep on growing and thing is.. there is no one else on the worship team..its just me and him and there is no other worship leader. He is it. So its like, if i dont want to do it with him, i would have to literally leave the worship team. We are pretty cautious in not being alone and we dont practice on our own..people are always around.. Sometimes it just seems..intimate? during worship? I'm worried about soul ties.
Help!