I honestly feel like giving up on Christ. I have NO remorse over my sin, none whatsoever, for example I viewed inappropriate content on my phone and felt no remorse over it. I’ve seared my conscience beyond recovery. I curse the day I was born and will the second after I die.
The day I realised that I didn’t actually know where I was going when I died, I did as occasion served me.
I survived the drive home from the Christian church meeting without any car accident or dropping into hell.
I put my little children to bed.
I purposed in my heart to then remain on my knees in prayer to God, for as long as it took, to get an answer from God, where was I going when I died.
God spoke one word to me, “repent, repent,” and opened my eyes to the fact that my repentance had only been an outward thing. I had not given to God my will. God granted me full repentance.
It has been a journey of all sorts, but we triumph in Christ.
Colossians 3:15 KJV
And
let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Matthew 22:37 KJV
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and
with all thy mind.
Matthew 11:12 KJV
And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the
violent take it by force.
Luke 11:13 KJV
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children:
how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?
Hebrews 12:3-6 KJV
For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.
[4] Ye have
not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.
[5] And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
[6] For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.