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Carver1976

Member
#1
Jun 20, 2019
38
36
18
#1
My apologies for the long post coming

So Ive posted a couple times here and just wanted to give a little background on me (good and the tough)
I’m 42 and have two kids (Ivy who will be 9 and Sheldon who is 7). I am a teacher. I teach veterinary medicine to high school juniors and seniors. I have had really two longer term relationships (one was when I was in my early-mid 20’s and then my marriage from my early thirties until we divorced about 2 1/2 years ago)
So I haven’t had many relationships. I’m not a very coward or “aggressive” person by nature, particularly in the meeting people/relationship part. My marriage was to a lady whom I met over the internet and we talked and stuff for a bit. I went to see her in Colorado (I’m in Arizona) and she came to see me once as well. Well the second time I went up there I got an impulse to propose and we went to the Justice of the Peace and got married. It was rocky from the get go. I had a hard time adjusting to the married life. So we had some issues. Well we bought a house around our 3rd year anniversary and things were going ok. So we decided to have a kid (my daughter Ivy and about 16 months later Sheldon came along unexpected but very welcomed). Well we went in parenting and with things for another 4-5 years. Then we started to just drift apart. She has never been religious and I sort of was at that time but never really indulged in it or anything. Well one day we decided to start going to strip clubs and she suggested doing the swinging thing. That wasn’t my thing but thought it would help the marriage (like the ol cliche of that goes). Well it didn’t really work because I wasn’t into it (I tried) and she seemed to be way more than me.
So we drifted way more apart and then one day I was out, and she texted me and asked if I wanted a divorce. And I won’t lie, I was thinking it as well. Anyway the house was in my name solely but she wasn’t making good money and when she had the kids I didn’t want them to stay anywhere bad or anything. So I left and let her stay in the house so during her days with the kids they would be in a good place. The not so fun part is coming right now that I think I’ve suppressed. After the divorce was final, she told me that she was/is gay. That was not fun. If that wasn’t the bad part, about a year and half later I sold the house. Well my kids were having a tough time in school. So for them. We decided to rent a house together (January 2018-January 2019) to see if that would help. Well we did that and changed schools and things did get better for them but was still weird and stuff for me at least. Then half way through or so renting together, she brought her current girlfriend to live there in her bedroom (she is living with her currently as well). We still split the kid time 50/50. Some of my struggle of course is that I don’t approve of the gay lifestyle but it’s their mom. She seems happy and last year she completed RN school is working in neurological ER so there I’m proud and happy for her
So I recently bought my own new build house and that brings us to current times. Curious if anybody else has had to deal with an ex or even current spouse that informed you they were/are gay and if/how kids are affected

Thanks for your time
 
Leastamongmany

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
#2
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,269
113
Usa
#2
Carver1976 said:
My apologies for the long post coming

So Ive posted a couple times here and just wanted to give a little background on me (good and the tough)
I’m 42 and have two kids (Ivy who will be 9 and Sheldon who is 7). I am a teacher. I teach veterinary medicine to high school juniors and seniors. I have had really two longer term relationships (one was when I was in my early-mid 20’s and then my marriage from my early thirties until we divorced about 2 1/2 years ago)
So I haven’t had many relationships. I’m not a very coward or “aggressive” person by nature, particularly in the meeting people/relationship part. My marriage was to a lady whom I met over the internet and we talked and stuff for a bit. I went to see her in Colorado (I’m in Arizona) and she came to see me once as well. Well the second time I went up there I got an impulse to propose and we went to the Justice of the Peace and got married. It was rocky from the get go. I had a hard time adjusting to the married life. So we had some issues. Well we bought a house around our 3rd year anniversary and things were going ok. So we decided to have a kid (my daughter Ivy and about 16 months later Sheldon came along unexpected but very welcomed). Well we went in parenting and with things for another 4-5 years. Then we started to just drift apart. She has never been religious and I sort of was at that time but never really indulged in it or anything. Well one day we decided to start going to strip clubs and she suggested doing the swinging thing. That wasn’t my thing but thought it would help the marriage (like the ol cliche of that goes). Well it didn’t really work because I wasn’t into it (I tried) and she seemed to be way more than me.
So we drifted way more apart and then one day I was out, and she texted me and asked if I wanted a divorce. And I won’t lie, I was thinking it as well. Anyway the house was in my name solely but she wasn’t making good money and when she had the kids I didn’t want them to stay anywhere bad or anything. So I left and let her stay in the house so during her days with the kids they would be in a good place. The not so fun part is coming right now that I think I’ve suppressed. After the divorce was final, she told me that she was/is gay. That was not fun. If that wasn’t the bad part, about a year and half later I sold the house. Well my kids were having a tough time in school. So for them. We decided to rent a house together (January 2018-January 2019) to see if that would help. Well we did that and changed schools and things did get better for them but was still weird and stuff for me at least. Then half way through or so renting together, she brought her current girlfriend to live there in her bedroom (she is living with her currently as well). We still split the kid time 50/50. Some of my struggle of course is that I don’t approve of the gay lifestyle but it’s their mom. She seems happy and last year she completed RN school is working in neurological ER so there I’m proud and happy for her
So I recently bought my own new build house and that brings us to current times. Curious if anybody else has had to deal with an ex or even current spouse that informed you they were/are gay and if/how kids are affected

Thanks for your time
Click to expand...
I understand your struggles,so doesHe! He is a very PRESENT help in times of trouble! Holding you before His face in prayer!
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#3
Sep 17, 2018
4,056
3,169
113
#3
I've never dealt with that, but in current American culture kids are taught at a young age, in schools, that not only is homosexuality acceptable but that they should evaluate themselves for it. And that's younger than teens this is often taught to in schools.
You made impulsive, short sighted decisions years ago, and this is the product of those decisions. It's a harsh reality, but it's true.
Doubtful there's going to be any legal manner to handle this in preventing or limiting your children's exposure to that lifestyle from your ex, especially in this day and age. Just do you best to teach and raise them to disagree and roll the dice (which is all raising kids is anyways).
 
C

Carver1976

Member
#4
Jun 20, 2019
38
36
18
#4
Yes which is what I try to do. It’s hard line to walk when I want/try to tell them that boys with boys and girls with girls is bad then a few days later they witness it from their own mom.
The only “plus side” if there is one, is that my ex and her girl friend aren’t the shove it in your face and all that. Not that it’s an excuse or anything but you know
 
Leastamongmany

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
#5
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,269
113
Usa
#5
Carver1976 said:
Yes which is what I try to do. It’s hard line to walk when I want/try to tell them that boys with boys and girls with girls is bad then a few days later they witness it from their own mom.
The only “plus side” if there is one, is that my ex and her girl friend aren’t the shove it in your face and all that. Not that it’s an excuse or anything but you know
Click to expand...
Remember,IT'S the SIN God hates NOT the sinner. Every word given,even in rebuke or exhortation, MUST be said in His love!
 
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