Okay so...don't laugh okay? But I was not aware that I was discussing Calvinist...

I did finally, after like 11 years, go and look up what tulip meant. I didn't see a problem with the points. I also read a few paragraphs of a man who I think was actually NAMED Calvin, a thing he wrote on the book of Job, and I liked the little I read and I have it bookmarked to read it later. But I had no idea I was talking about him! Okay, you can laugh a little bit - it is kind of funny I guess. To be a Christian for over 11 years and not know barely anything about doctrines or 'isms.
I didn't know that to think I didn't choose Him but that He chose me and drew me and healed my blindness was to fall under the category of Calvinistic. I really didn't. And I didn't know that to think there was nothing of worth in myself was Calvinistic either.
I'm learning a lot here now though. I always thought of myself as being closest to a quaker after reading Thomas Kellys book! Then I read Teresa and John of the Cross and thought I must be close to a catholic but for a few ideas I found odd! At some point I just gave up trying to determine what I was and just enjoyed the men I found, when God gave them to me as helpmeets.
I see what you're saying though. It wouldn't get us anywhere to discuss there maybe being any good thing in me. You're right, I would not change my mind regarding that. And with the other point of my post - that He chose me, drew me and healed my blindness - you're right, discussing it wouldn't change my mind or cause me to begin to think that I chose Him.
Trying to remember if there was anything else left that we COULD discuss...oh yes, you asked me if I could choose to not get angry or to get angry. To me this is to ask: can I choose to either murder or not murder? If I could just choose to never get angry, would there ever be any conceivable reason to choose TO get angry...? If it's simply a matter of choice, why would I EVER choose to murder...?!