Estranged Relative/Close Friend

[MsMediator]

If an estranged relative (or a close friend) is not in contact with you, would you continue to send a birthday greeting/Merry Christmas card/etc.? Please explain your vote.

This question does not cover immediate family members (parent, child, or sibling) or very extended family (third or fourth cousins, etc.), but relatives such as uncles, aunts, cousins you grew up with, close friends, etc. There are reasons to keep in touch with immediate family no matter what, and it is understandable if one doesn't want to keep in contact with very extended family, but what about those "below" immediate family?

 

[Dino246]

First thought: What’s a Christmas card?

Second thought: Why expend energy trying to maintain a relationship with someone who doesn’t want a relationship with you?

Third thought: Treat others as you would want them to treat you.

 

[MsMediator]

Second thought: Why expend energy trying to maintain a relationship with someone who doesn’t want a relationship with you?

I think if a person doesn't want a relationship they should let you know....however what usually happens is that a friendship usually fades so it is unclear why. While the natural reaction is to stop communicating (because some people think it is a sign of desperation and loss of self respect), I wonder if that is the Christian thing to do.

 

[Dino246]

I think if a person doesn't want a relationship they should let you know....

I understand, though I disagree. If the relationship is perceived to be toxic (or the person simply wants more of your attention than you want to give them), it is appropriate to set a boundary... respectfully. How the person handles the boundary is their issue, not yours.

however what usually happens is that a friendship usually fades so it is unclear why.

Exactly.

While the natural reaction is to stop communicating (because some people think it is a sign of desperation and loss of self respect), I wonder if that is the Christian thing to do.

I would suggest that the "Christian" thing to do is to reach out, and if the other person doesn't respond within a reasonable time frame, let it go.