Does the Bible condone Corporal Punishment in Marriage or relationships?

[beacha]

I am married. We love each other. But I am sometimes bad and he says he is doing it for my own good. I am not a child. But when I am bad, he spanks me. I repent of my sin, I am sorry for it but once he starts spanking me it excites him and then its like he cant stop.
I honour him I try to adore him but sometimes I feel fear at his intencity of correcting my sins. I know he loves me and he says it hurts him more than me to do this to me. Does the Bible say that this must be done?

 

[seoulsearch]

I am married. We love each other. But I am sometimes bad and he says he is doing it for my own good. I am not a child. But when I am bad, he spanks me. I repent of my sin, I am sorry for it but once he starts spanking me it excites him and then its like he cant stop.
I honour him I try to adore him but sometimes I feel fear at his intencity of correcting my sins. I know he loves me and he says it hurts him more than me to do this to me. Does the Bible say that this must be done?

I am very sorry you are going through this.

May I please ask, what happens when your husband makes mistakes of his own or commits his own sins?

In other words, is he insisting that you be the only one who gets "punished" for their sins, especially physically, and what reason does he give?

What punishment, if any, does he get for his own sin?

 

[Billyd]

Lady you are describing spousal abuse, and the Bible does not condone that. Insist that he stop.

We have a tradition in our family. Every bride gets two cast iron skillets. One to make corn bread, and one for the situation you are in. He has to sleep sometime.

 

[Deuteronomy]

Does the Bible condone Corporal Punishment in Marriage or relationships?

Yes, for children, NOT for spouses.

~Deut
p.s. - wait, why are you asking if corporal punishment is condoned in the Bible for "relationships"?

 

[christian74]

Make sure you do the same by slapping him when he is bad.
Make sure, also, to get into a proper stance so you could put your whole weight into it.

 

[seoulsearch]

Lady you are describing spousal abuse, and the Bible does not condone that. Insist that he stop.

We have a tradition in our family. Every bride gets two cast iron skillets. One to make corn bread, and one for the situation you are in. He has to sleep sometime.

Dear Billyd,

Do you have any eligible single men in your family left?

I want a family like yours as my in-laws.

And every woman should have a father-in-law like you.

#LifeGoals

Sincerely,

Seoulsearch

 

[Nehemiah6]

Does the Bible say that this must be done?

Not at all. This sounds preposterous. How you should address this is something which you will need to think through.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

I am married. We love each other. But I am sometimes bad and he says he is doing it for my own good. I am not a child. But when I am bad, he spanks me. I repent of my sin, I am sorry for it but once he starts spanking me it excites him and then its like he cant stop.
I honour him I try to adore him but sometimes I feel fear at his intencity of correcting my sins. I know he loves me and he says it hurts him more than me to do this to me. Does the Bible say that this must be done?

What do you mean, when you are sometimes "bad"?

 

[seoulsearch]

I am married. We love each other. But I am sometimes bad and he says he is doing it for my own good. I am not a child. But when I am bad, he spanks me. I repent of my sin, I am sorry for it but once he starts spanking me it excites him and then its like he cant stop.
I honour him I try to adore him but sometimes I feel fear at his intencity of correcting my sins. I know he loves me and he says it hurts him more than me to do this to me. Does the Bible say that this must be done?

Beacha,

These passages immediately came to mind when I read your post:

1. Ephesians 5:25 -- "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for it."

2. Ephesians 5:28-29 -- "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."

3. Colossians 3:19 -- "Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them."

4. 1 Peter 3:7 -- "Husbands, dwell with your wives with understanding, giving honor to the wife as the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."


This gives you a Biblical answer to part of your post -- what your husband is doing is NOT loving, cherishing, or honoring to you as a wife, and he is NOT fulfilling his Christian role as a husband who is acting as a representative of Christ.

Now, there is another part of your post I would like to address, but I'll do that separately, so that these posts won't get too long.

 

[Runningman]

Honestly sounds less about correcting an error, which can be done with words, and more about fulfilling some kind of weird fantasy. Sounds unhealthy to me. Put a stop to this asap.

 

[Dino246]

I am married. We love each other. But I am sometimes bad and he says he is doing it for my own good. I am not a child. But when I am bad, he spanks me. I repent of my sin, I am sorry for it but once he starts spanking me it excites him and then its like he cant stop.
I honour him I try to adore him but sometimes I feel fear at his intencity of correcting my sins. I know he loves me and he says it hurts him more than me to do this to me. Does the Bible say that this must be done?

Welcome to CC...

Your profile says you are not married, but here, you say you are. In which are you lying? If you are actually married, and your husband is abusing you, you need help. If you are not married, but your boyfriend is beating you, you need help. If you are just here to ask hypothetical questions, then you need help of a different kind.

Assuming that what you say here is the truth...

If your husband is physically striking you for any reason, that is ABUSE, and in many countries, it is a criminal act. There is absolutely no reason to justify such behaviour. The Bible certainly does not condone abuse of a wife by a husband, let alone say it "must" be done. That's crap, and your husband is lying to you to justify his sinful behaviour. It's not his job to punish your "bad behaviour" with his own. Don't tolerate it. Because he gets excited, it is very likely that the abuse will get progressively worse until he "accidentally" kills you. Get out and get help TODAY.

 

[seoulsearch]

I am married. We love each other. But I am sometimes bad and he says he is doing it for my own good. I am not a child. But when I am bad, he spanks me. I repent of my sin, I am sorry for it but once he starts spanking me it excites him and then its like he cant stop.
I honour him I try to adore him but sometimes I feel fear at his intencity of correcting my sins. I know he loves me and he says it hurts him more than me to do this to me. Does the Bible say that this must be done?

These details of your account are what really grabbed my attention.

Please note that what you are saying is that:

1. He is clearly hurting, and humiliating you.

2. He tells you that he is doing this for your own good, and that what he does to you hurts him more than it hurts you.

PLEASE KNOW THAT THESE ARE THE CLASSIC REPEATED EXCUSES THAT AN ABUSER WILL TELL THE PERSON THEY ARE ABUSING.

3. You have said that once he starts, he can't stop, because it "excites" him.

At this point, it is even more clear that he is performing this "punishment" as something that HE HIMSELF finds enjoyable, and is doing this to you in order to give himself pleasure, FOR WHAT HE FEELS IS HIS OWN BENEFIT, and NOT yours.

The next question that automatically runs through my mind is to what extent his "excitement" is, and is it sexual, because if he has or is tying his sexuality and gratification to the action of hurting someone else, you are most likely dealing with an issue that is way beyond your control. (And please note, it is NOT your fault.)

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER MY QUESTIONS, OR EVEN MY POSTS, PUBLICLY -- in fact, I would advise that you do NOT answer my questions about your husband's sexual tendencies, because that part is a personal matter between you, him, and God.

But I think you had mentioned in another post that you were raised Catholic, and I don't know what your husband's background is, but I do know that sometimes people who were raised in church and/or family environments governed by punishment become sexually attracted to punishing others, being punished, or combination of the two.

This can be life-threatening, because the person will need more and more intense actions to feed the high that their addiction provides.

You already said that once he starts, he can't stop.

And it leaves me wondering what kind of injuries you are left with -- bruises? Open cuts and wounds? Broken bones? If it's not at that point already, I can guarantee that even if you think what he's doing now isn't all that bad, it will get worse. I once had a friend who was going through a similar situation that started out in a similar away and it nearly cost my friend their life. Please don't let this happen to you.

From your other posts, I am guessing that you already feel very isolated and alone, and I am so sorry that you seem to be suffering through this by yourself. Do you have ANYONE who can help you that you can confide in? A sister at your church, a pastor, a trusted relative?

FOR ANYONE GOING THROUGH THIS, WHETHER A WOMAN OR A MAN, I IMPLORE YOU, PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP BEFORE IT ESCALATES:

1. National Domestic Abuse Hotline:

https://www.thehotline.org/

2. Organizations Fighting Domestic Violence:

https://greatist.com/happiness/stop-domestic-violence-organizations

3. Focus Ministries (Christian-based help):

https://www.focusministries1.org/

4. Christian Coalition Against Domestic Abuse:

http://ccada.org/


Please reach out to any of these, and even better, local agencies, for help, Beacha, and please keep us posted.

You will most definitely be in my thoughts and prayers.

God bless you!

 

[Deuteronomy]

I am married.

Hello again Beacha, I just took a look at your profile page. There you claim to be "not married" and "unsure" of your spiritual status. Obedience to God's precepts and commandments in the Bible is principally meant for believers (those who are already born again and have been justified/saved by God) as it is not possible to please/honor and obey God before coming to saving faith in His Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

If you have any questions about Christianity (which would certainly include how to become a Christian and/or how to know whether you are a Christian or not) just ask, as there are many here who would be happy to answer them for you

~Deut
p.s. - I also noticed that you are a citizen of the British Virgin Islands, living in Antarctica. I must say, I don't believe that I've ever talked to someone living in Antarctica before. Outside of "cold", what is it like to live there Thanks!

Romans 10​

9 If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;​

10 for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.​

​

 

[tourist]

I am married. We love each other. But I am sometimes bad and he says he is doing it for my own good. I am not a child. But when I am bad, he spanks me. I repent of my sin, I am sorry for it but once he starts spanking me it excites him and then its like he cant stop.
I honour him I try to adore him but sometimes I feel fear at his intencity of correcting my sins. I know he loves me and he says it hurts him more than me to do this to me. Does the Bible say that this must be done?

God does not condone a husband physically abusing his wife. It is not his place to correct any supposed sins that he perceives you committing. Who spanks your husband when he is bad (sins)? You do not have to live in fear of your husband striking you. I fear for your safety and well being.

 

[tourist]

I am very sorry you are going through this.

May I please ask, what happens when your husband makes mistakes of his own or commits his own sins?

In other words, is he insisting that you be the only one who gets "punished" for their sins, especially physically, and what reason does he give?

What punishment, if any, does he get for his own sin?

I asked the same question in a later post.

 

[tourist]

Lady you are describing spousal abuse, and the Bible does not condone that. Insist that he stop.

We have a tradition in our family. Every bride gets two cast iron skillets. One to make corn bread, and one for the situation you are in. He has to sleep sometime.

Right on, brother.

 

[tourist]

Make sure you do the same by slapping him when he is bad.
Make sure, also, to get into a proper stance so you could put your whole weight into it.

I would not advise her to slap her husband as there will certainly be a price she would be forced to pay.

 

[seoulsearch]

I'm sorry, and God forgive me if I'm wrong, but this sounds like a troll account to me.

I totally understand -- in fact, we once had a woman here posting about about this subject from a different perspective, and when she was met with strong resistance, "someone else", under another new username, using the exact same wording as the original poster, started making posts in support of the first woman's perspective.

Both were banned, as they were both supporting something that went against Christian beliefs (and were probably the same person, seeing as they literally used the exact same phrases, word for word.)

It's hard to know when people are being genuine or not, and I know that sometimes I'm a bit too sarcastic (trying to work on that!)

But at the very least, if God asks me how I responded to someone regarding posts such as this, at least I can tell Him I tried my best to give them the benefit of the doubt to at least see how they responded, then went from there.

After all, truth is often stranger than fiction, most especially in the world of the interweb.

 

[seoulsearch]

I would not advise her to slap her husband as there will certainly be a price she would be forced to pay.

I understand, Tourist, and you make an excellent point.

However, I can assure you that Christian74 is by no means violent and did not mean this literally.

He just feels very strongly about injustice and was venting his frustration at the thought of a woman (or anyone else) being abused by their spouse.

 

[tourist]

I totally understand -- in fact, we once had a woman here posting about about this subject from a different perspective, and when she was met with strong resistance, "someone else", under another new username, using the exact same wording as the original poster, started making posts in support of the first woman's perspective.

Both were banned, as they were both supporting something that went against Christian beliefs (and were probably the same person, seeing as they literally used the exact same phrases, word for word.)

It's hard to know when people are being genuine or not, and I know that sometimes I'm a bit too sarcastic (trying to work on that!)

But at the very least, if God asks me how I responded to someone regarding posts such as this, at least I can tell Him I tried my best to give them the benefit of the doubt to at least see how they responded, then went from there.

After all, truth is often stranger than fiction, most especially in the world of the interweb.

Your responses were well thought out and quite sound. It always makes me sad and also a bit angry reading about spouses, especially wives being physically, verbally, and emotionally abused. I also certainly believe that God directs your paths in how you handle and respond to certain situations, especially those that require immediate attention.