Does God want me to be anti social?

[EarthlySinner65]

Ive been on my own so long that I feel most comfortable in it and that its best for me. Its not that I cant be social, but mostly because I choose not to be, and partly because I get a little anxiety. But its hard for people to tell because for the most part I seem normal. But sometimes I feel like Im not equal to my friends even when they invite me to hang out. Maybe its because theres some things I haven't done that I feel are almost crucial for someone my age to have done? And Im afraid of being made fun of for it.
Theres a girl that Im sort of dating now and shes more than happy to help me get out there and be more social; live life really. But I still feel like Im best just left alone chasing my dreams with God.
How do I know if He’s actually trying to help me and get me to my next stage in life? Or if its the devil trying to lead me to destruction?

 

[Going_Nowhere]

I'm anti-social too. I just don't like people. I don't know if God wants me to be anti-social, but I know I want me to be.

 

[Mii]

It isn't wrong to be cautious. Love is patient...

If you feel pressured, here is what I have found. If it is the Lord I can usually present an alternative to "test the spirits" to kind of gauge if it is him.

So if you feel like you need to be more social...pick an older age group, or a setting where you are around people but socializing isn't required. I'm 28 and feel pretty comfortable around 45-55 year olds. He can open a door where you can feel safe socially, and still satisfy your need for community.

Bible studies aren't a bad social get together, neither is volunteering for a church camp for the whole summer (some are paid), or going on a mission trip. There is most certainly a lot of traps that you can fall into just "being social" and I think it is wise to see where the Lord leads you in that. There are TONS of dead ends when you just sort of do what most people do and just aimlessly wander about.


Parties are dead ends, bars are dead ends, most school functions are dead ends for me...think of something you enjoy and know that there are other anti-social people that still recognize the need for community and companionship.

Picture a chess club where all you do is speak few words. Mostly you play chess...conversation could be started but it isn't required, and some are quite anti-social. Thinking along those lines may help you.


Are you sure you mean anti-social and not introversion?

 

[Subhumanoidal]

Ive been on my own so long that I feel most comfortable in it and that its best for me. Its not that I cant be social, but mostly because I choose not to be, and partly because I get a little anxiety. But its hard for people to tell because for the most part I seem normal. But sometimes I feel like Im not equal to my friends even when they invite me to hang out. Maybe its because theres some things I haven't done that I feel are almost crucial for someone my age to have done? And Im afraid of being made fun of for it.
Theres a girl that Im sort of dating now and shes more than happy to help me get out there and be more social; live life really. But I still feel like Im best just left alone chasing my dreams with God.
How do I know if He’s actually trying to help me and get me to my next stage in life? Or if its the devil trying to lead me to destruction?

You have social anxiety it sounds like. Not that uncommon really. Possibly introverted as well. As well as self esteem issues.
Nothing wrong with being an introvert. Introverts tend to be deeper thinkers and more artistic. Introverts aren't anti-social, they simply need to limit their social interactions because they "give" during social interactions. So it can be draining, hence the need to he alone to recharge.

As far as social anxiety and self esteem those can be helped through some counseling.
I just read this today
At 20 you worry about everyone watching you At 40 you stop caring.
At 60 you realize no one was ever paying attention to you.
Winston Churchill.

 

[paisleypanther]

I think it's a bit more complex than God or Satan wanting you to stay home. As others have said, it sounds like you might have social anxiety. That's okay, I have it too. Being unsocial and staying home isn't inherently bad or good. I think it really depends on what you are doing when you are outside or at home. Do you find yourself serving God and others at home? Do you find yourself sinning more when you are at home? My biggest concern isn't that you are going to be led astray because you are staying home but rather that avoiding public spaces and such will keep you from experiencing a lot of pleasant things. I definitely understand the anxiety you feel from being around others: yesterday I had a panic attack at the grocery store because there were just too many people.

When I first started challenging my anxiety and going outside.... it was very scary. I felt like everyone was watching me all the time. It was especially bad if I was with a group of people. I then realized that just because I am in a public space doesn't mean I have to be with people. Maybe you can try going to a park and practicing some grounding exercises. A grounding exercise is when you say (or think) something like "My name is ______, I am ______ years old, the date is _______...." And then you would proceed to list five things you can see, touch, hear, etc. This is really helpful when you start feeling anxious in public. Social anxiety can cause people to withdraw into themselves. This exercise urges you to be present. It's part of my daily routine.

I understand your concern about what other people might say or do because you don't have as many "life experiences" as them. Maybe you should tell them that. Communication and honesty helps build friendships. If they have made fun of you in the past, you can even say "When you said ____ about me, it made me feel sad/angry/uncomfortable." A good friend will understand and try not to do that again.

I hope some of these suggestions help!

 

[Lenoir]

I'm anti-social too. I just don't like people. I don't know if God wants me to be anti-social, but I know I want me to be.

Exactly. I don’t think its weird to not be drawn to people. People are irritating and disappointing let’s be honest. It’s not even that I “don’t like people” as much as I just like my peace and solitude is the best way to ensure my peace us not disrupted.

 

[Magenta]

Theres a girl that Im sort of dating now and shes more than happy to help me get out there and be more social; live life really. But I still feel like Im best just left alone chasing my dreams with God.
How do I know if He’s actually trying to help me and get me to my next stage in life? Or if its the devil trying to lead me to destruction?

What exactly is she encouraging you to do? There is a difference between being encouraged to go to bars/drink or go to raves/do drugs and who knows what all else. If she is simply encouraging you to be more involved in your church (if you have one) or to find one (if you don't have one), that would be a clear difference between doing as we are exhorted to in Scripture, and what we are not.

 

[Magenta]