Does God really not answer your prayers?

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M

MaryM

Well-known member
#1
Nov 25, 2022
513
320
63
#1
I say look carefully at what outcome and how you pray, the wording and reasoning is vital.

There are people embittered because they feel God does not listen and does not give them what they want. Is that not arrogant? Where is humility? Do these same people thank God with fervent prayers when pleasant things happen?

I pray with hope. Whether and how God answers is none of my business. God doesn't view our life the way we do, He sees far ahead and knows what is best for us. How can we fathom the wisdom of He who knows all? Many times I see negative things happen after I prayed, but I wait and soon see that long term it was in fact for my benefit.

I knew a woman who stopped coming to church and lost her faith because her sister died from cancer, despite many prayers. That is very sad. Yet perhaps the prayers should be for strength, comfort and healing. The nature of that healing is not something we can dictate and insist upon, then stamp our feet and reject God if we don't get what we think is ideal.
Death and illness comes to us all, it is how we deal with it that is important. Nobody ever said life must be fair. We do not set the terms.
 
MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#2
Mar 8, 2022
1,165
768
113
#2
MaryM said:
I say look carefully at what outcome and how you pray, the wording and reasoning is vital.

There are people embittered because they feel God does not listen and does not give them what they want. Is that not arrogant? Where is humility? Do these same people thank God with fervent prayers when pleasant things happen?

I pray with hope. Whether and how God answers is none of my business. God doesn't view our life the way we do, He sees far ahead and knows what is best for us. How can we fathom the wisdom of He who knows all? Many times I see negative things happen after I prayed, but I wait and soon see that long term it was in fact for my benefit.

I knew a woman who stopped coming to church and lost her faith because her sister died from cancer, despite many prayers. That is very sad. Yet perhaps the prayers should be for strength, comfort and healing. The nature of that healing is not something we can dictate and insist upon, then stamp our feet and reject God if we don't get what we think is ideal.
Death and illness comes to us all, it is how we deal with it that is important. Nobody ever said life must be fair. We do not set the terms.
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Some people translate the power of prayer to mean that the more fervently one prays, the higher likelihood one will get their prayers answered. If the prayer isn't answered yet (with "positive" outcome), then pray harder. When that doesn't happen, then there is disappointment. Yes, it is arrogant. However, I also think people are being misled by churches, etc. There should be more emphasis on there is suffering in this life. Especially with difficult issues, there are strong emotions at play.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#4
#4
I've had this struggle my entire Christian life. After my wife died, I actually tried to provoke God by name-calling (not to my death, but just to get Him to yell "Enough!"). But, I didn't even get that. (Three years into this, something did happen, but it was nothing like I was anticipating.)

Right now, I am praying for loved ones and friends, and as far as I know, none of them are getting saved. Many of them are old. They don't have a lot of time. I tried witnessing to my father-in-law last night. It didn't sink in.

I am praying for a better job situation, a wife (for ~13 years now), and just for some buddies and friends here in AZ (I've been in AZ for about 4-1/2 years now). Yes, I've put feet to my prayers on all counts. Little has happened (I am employed, but I do not like the job; the 2 hours every day commuting is just one thing).

I feel like I'm being stifled. I have no purpose. I am alone the vast majority of the time. For these things, I am struggling to trust God's faithfulness and goodness. I'm not asking Him for a large house or a gigantic salary and "suffering" for a lack of those things.

Arrogant? Idolatrous? Sure. I get that. I am certainly praying about these things and try very hard when I pray to thank God for the undesirable and frustrating situations. But, this is truly a battle. When I see young couples with a future ahead of them, I realize I stand in stark contrast to them on more than one front. And, I am envious. Yeah, I know, another sin. But, it is very difficult to respond in any other way. Why not me, God??!!?? Why am I the "special" one? The loser? Why do I need to stand out in this way???

It is a battle. Criticize me all you like, but this is extremely difficult. Perhaps He is preparing me for something (though I am not naturally an optimist). Perhaps this is refinement. But, should refinement continue till death? Well, different kinds, sure. But, the same "fire" for another 30 years? This is no way to live.

I know Christians around the world go through much more. And, I'm not saying that what I'm experiencing is any where near their level (after my wife died, and while I was homeless, though, it sure felt that way). Still, that doesn't mean that the way my life is is now suddenly all better because others are currently experiencing worse. Of course, I'll keep what I have versus what they are going through. But, that doesn't mean I desire for my life to maintain its current course, either.
 
M

MaryM

Well-known member
#5
Nov 25, 2022
513
320
63
#5
Gojira said:
I've had this struggle my entire Christian life. After my wife died, I actually tried to provoke God by name-calling (not to my death, but just to get Him to yell "Enough!"). But, I didn't even get that. (Three years into this, something did happen, but it was nothing like I was anticipating.)

Right now, I am praying for loved ones and friends, and as far as I know, none of them are getting saved. Many of them are old. They don't have a lot of time. I tried witnessing to my father-in-law last night. It didn't sink in.

I am praying for a better job situation, a wife (for ~13 years now), and just for some buddies and friends here in AZ (I've been in AZ for about 4-1/2 years now). Yes, I've put feet to my prayers on all counts. Little has happened (I am employed, but I do not like the job; the 2 hours every day commuting is just one thing).

I feel like I'm being stifled. I have no purpose. I am alone the vast majority of the time. For these things, I am struggling to trust God's faithfulness and goodness. I'm not asking Him for a large house or a gigantic salary and "suffering" for a lack of those things.

Arrogant? Idolatrous? Sure. I get that. I am certainly praying about these things and try very hard when I pray to thank God for the undesirable and frustrating situations. But, this is truly a battle. When I see young couples with a future ahead of them, I realize I stand in stark contrast to them on more than one front. And, I am envious. Yeah, I know, another sin. But, it is very difficult to respond in any other way. Why not me, God??!!?? Why am I the "special" one? The loser? Why do I need to stand out in this way???

It is a battle. Criticize me all you like, but this is extremely difficult. Perhaps He is preparing me for something (though I am not naturally an optimist). Perhaps this is refinement. But, should refinement continue till death? Well, different kinds, sure. But, the same "fire" for another 30 years? This is no way to live.

I know Christians around the world go through much more. And, I'm not saying that what I'm experiencing is any where near their level (after my wife died, and while I was homeless, though, it sure felt that way). Still, that doesn't mean that the way my life is is now suddenly all better because others are currently experiencing worse. Of course, I'll keep what I have versus what they are going through. But, that doesn't mean I desire for my life to maintain its current course, either.
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Why would I criticise you? I am no better and probably a lot worse than you. One truth I have observed, absolutely nobody is happy. Happiness is a mirage. Sometimes for a while we think we have got it, but it never lasts.
So I pray for strength and comfort. I also pray for specifics but then leave it in God's hands. It is not my concern how God arranges things. I am just grateful when they happen to be good!
 
Cameron143

Cameron143

Well-known member
#6
Mar 1, 2022
20,075
6,882
113
62
#6
MaryM said:
Why would I criticise you? I am no better and probably a lot worse than you. One truth I have observed, absolutely nobody is happy. Happiness is a mirage. Sometimes for a while we think we have got it, but it never lasts.
So I pray for strength and comfort. I also pray for specifics but then leave it in God's hands. It is not my concern how God arranges things. I am just grateful when they happen to be good!
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Happiness flees because it is dependent upon circumstances. Joy remains because it is dependent upon our relationship with God. Circumstances change; God doesn't.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#7
#7
MaryM said:
So I pray for strength and comfort. I also pray for specifics but then leave it in God's hands. It is not my concern how God arranges things. I am just grateful when they happen to be good!
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It is my concern how He arranges things because I have to live through it :D I suppose the point though is that we as Christians need to get to the point where we trust God and desire His will more than anything else. I unfortunately am not there. Life is fun.

As for me, I'm asking God to break the pattern here, to do something to get me off this ride. Either work that spiritual miracle in me or please grant my requests. Living as a rope in a tug-o-war game is no way to live.
 
Mem

Mem

Senior Member
#8
Sep 23, 2014
7,230
2,208
113
#8
Gojira said:
It is my concern how He arranges things because I have to live through it :D I suppose the point though is that we as Christians need to get to the point where we trust God and desire His will more than anything else. I unfortunately am not there. Life is fun.

As for me, I'm asking God to break the pattern here, to do something to get me off this ride. Either work that spiritual miracle in me or please grant my requests. Living as a rope in a tug-o-war game is no way to live.
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Have you ever prayed anything like, "whoever you want me to marry, I will..."? I mean, this would be a "not my will but Yours be done" prayer but, of course, you'd have to totally trust in God's good judgment for the outcome.
 
B

blueluna5

Well-known member
#9
Jul 30, 2018
669
399
63
#9
MaryM said:
I say look carefully at what outcome and how you pray, the wording and reasoning is vital.

There are people embittered because they feel God does not listen and does not give them what they want. Is that not arrogant? Where is humility? Do these same people thank God with fervent prayers when pleasant things happen?

I pray with hope. Whether and how God answers is none of my business. God doesn't view our life the way we do, He sees far ahead and knows what is best for us. How can we fathom the wisdom of He who knows all? Many times I see negative things happen after I prayed, but I wait and soon see that long term it was in fact for my benefit.

I knew a woman who stopped coming to church and lost her faith because her sister died from cancer, despite many prayers. That is very sad. Yet perhaps the prayers should be for strength, comfort and healing. The nature of that healing is not something we can dictate and insist upon, then stamp our feet and reject God if we don't get what we think is ideal.
Death and illness comes to us all, it is how we deal with it that is important. Nobody ever said life must be fair. We do not set the terms.
Click to expand...
I recently heard to pray for something once, and then the rest of the time to thank God for hearing and answering your prayer the rest of the time. That makes the most sense to me as a mom. If my kid asks me for something and I say "yes" he doesn't keep asking me. He says "I'm so excited" "I can't wait" "thank you" etc. He trusts my "yes" completely. So I should be with God.

As far as people getting emotional with unanswered prayer or told no essentially, I totally understand it. I have family who left the faith bc of the loss of a loved one. I still feel their pain even if I think logically it really makes no sense. It's an a emotional decision, which are usually not logical. I think they will all ultimately come back to the faith... is my personal belief.
 
SunshineGirl

SunshineGirl

Active member
#13
Jan 6, 2024
288
193
43
England
#13
God always answers prayers it's just sometimes a 'No' and people don't like hearing 'No' I have learnt that when God says 'No' I say thank you Lord for looking after me and loving me that much to say 'No' He sees everything I only see the right here right now. Trust God 🥰
 
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