Hey Everyone,
After hearing some of the older women I know talk about "the change of life" (menopause; when a woman biologically stops being able to have children) and it's reportedly many dreaded symptoms. I have also talked young women who had difficult pregnancies within their marriages and were told or advised by their doctors that they would/should never have kids again, which set them on a long path of grief and mourning.
I was wondering what it's like for me, since they don't have a natural cycle that stops their ability to have children as women do.
I am especially interested in what it's like for single men who are searching for a spouse.
When I started out on my single journey, people told me, "You're young, you have plenty of time." And then the time started ticking... I had a certain age in my that was going to be my "cut-off" date for when I believed I could no longer think about having kids, and when that age came and went, I kept pushing it back further. But we women know we can only push it back so far.
What is this like for me?
* Do men think something like, "I could still have kids by 40... 45... 50?"
* Do men set their own "cut-off" age for themselves in their hearts? Especially for older men seeking someone much younger who might still want to have children (or have more than he already has, if he already has children/grandchildren.)
* What happens when that "cut-off" date eventually passes by? Does it get pushed back, or changed, depending on whom he might meet?
* Do men ever think, "Well I could always have kids, even at 65... no big deal"?
This thread isn't JUST for men -- all perspectives are welcome. Maybe there are women out there who have know a man who has talked about this and would like share. Maybe some of the ladies have more questions for the men than what I've listed here. And of course, our married friends are most welcome to tell us about their own experiences.
I would really like to hear about the process, if any, that men go through in thinking about their own ability to have children and whether they see it as something lifelong, or if they set some kind of deadline. I realize the answers are highly individual so that's part of what I would like to learn about.
Many of the women I've talked to feel as if they've lost their femininity and value as women when or if they are unable to have, or have more children, and I was wondering if men go through a similar grieving process.
I'm looking forward to this discussion.
After hearing some of the older women I know talk about "the change of life" (menopause; when a woman biologically stops being able to have children) and it's reportedly many dreaded symptoms. I have also talked young women who had difficult pregnancies within their marriages and were told or advised by their doctors that they would/should never have kids again, which set them on a long path of grief and mourning.
I was wondering what it's like for me, since they don't have a natural cycle that stops their ability to have children as women do.
I am especially interested in what it's like for single men who are searching for a spouse.
When I started out on my single journey, people told me, "You're young, you have plenty of time." And then the time started ticking... I had a certain age in my that was going to be my "cut-off" date for when I believed I could no longer think about having kids, and when that age came and went, I kept pushing it back further. But we women know we can only push it back so far.
What is this like for me?
* Do men think something like, "I could still have kids by 40... 45... 50?"
* Do men set their own "cut-off" age for themselves in their hearts? Especially for older men seeking someone much younger who might still want to have children (or have more than he already has, if he already has children/grandchildren.)
* What happens when that "cut-off" date eventually passes by? Does it get pushed back, or changed, depending on whom he might meet?
* Do men ever think, "Well I could always have kids, even at 65... no big deal"?
This thread isn't JUST for men -- all perspectives are welcome. Maybe there are women out there who have know a man who has talked about this and would like share. Maybe some of the ladies have more questions for the men than what I've listed here. And of course, our married friends are most welcome to tell us about their own experiences.
I would really like to hear about the process, if any, that men go through in thinking about their own ability to have children and whether they see it as something lifelong, or if they set some kind of deadline. I realize the answers are highly individual so that's part of what I would like to learn about.
Many of the women I've talked to feel as if they've lost their femininity and value as women when or if they are unable to have, or have more children, and I was wondering if men go through a similar grieving process.
I'm looking forward to this discussion.
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