Divorce?
- Thread starter MissingLove
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Greetings MissingLove, You have opened a deep chasm with this question. I have prayed and studied this your years and have so many things I could share, but would you mind me asking if there is any desire to stay together despite it all?
What can I tell you is what I was also told. Your feelings and thoughts is what made up your soul. The weight of your heart and the length of your thoughts, and faith of willingness, are your control and tools to come up to what is best for you. But inside you, you have the spirit of God. Jesus when he resurrected He said I will leave you my spirit, that gives our body to become his vessel, his home. The spirit is active in you but you got to feed your soul, your mind with God's words, and have your heart be checked. So the spirit that is in you can manifest in your decisions and be stronger enough to fight the desires of your flesh, your body, selfishness, pride, evil desires. 1 John 2:17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. Do not love anything in this world for you cannot keep anything from it, soon it will all pass away. Although, we can pray for God that may his will be done on earth as it is in Heaven, which is a promise of peace and holy goodness, that we can have in this world, in his grace, mercy, and favor. James 4:6 But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
And why we live on earth... so that we may glorify him... if anything in our life distance us from keeping a relationship with God... may it be with work.. family... relationship ... we must align ourselves, and bring everything that surrounds us into worshiping him... or else we got to start being resistant to rebuking what is not of Gods.
I hope I was able to send something useful.
And why we live on earth... so that we may glorify him... if anything in our life distance us from keeping a relationship with God... may it be with work.. family... relationship ... we must align ourselves, and bring everything that surrounds us into worshiping him... or else we got to start being resistant to rebuking what is not of Gods.
I hope I was able to send something useful.
K
kaylagrl
Guest
Sorry. I don't believe God wants us to suffer in a marriage. I don't think divorce is always the answer, it should be the very last resort. But when that other person refuses council and refuses to talk to their spouse something needs to be done. The OP hasn't been here in a long while and I hope she is doing well. But it is a very dangerous thing to tell a woman God wants her to suffer in a marriage. That's wrong.
K
kaylagrl
Guest
Her husband has refused to go to counseling and refused to talk about the issue of having children. He agreed to it before marriage and now won't discuss it. That's not placing a burden on him. He played false with her. Had he been truthful she wouldn't have married him because she wanted children.
I know from past experience that these things sometimes happens, usually for the best
K
kaylagrl
Guest
The Lord does not expect you to stay in an emotionally abusive marriage! You can still love and pray for your spouse. But you should not be staying in the marriage. Go for help and if he refuses you need to divorce. God doesn't expect you to stay in an abusive situation and please don't tell others to do so. It's very dangerous. I knew a "Christian" judge that told a women to go back to a husband that was raping her telling her it was her husband so it wasn't possible for her to be raped. After the abuse got so bad she finally had to leave him. No,God never expects a person to stay in an abusive relationship,not ever.
It is stated in scripture that God wants us to have life and have it more abundantly. He absolutely not want anyone to suffer needlessly in a horrible miserable marriage. I agree with your estimation that divorce is the last resort to be considered and possibly acted upon. It is true that God hates divorce but God hates anything that hurts others. Fortunately, God understands full well the human condition and the causes leading to the choice on whether to divorce or not.
Not sure I have ever met anyone that assumed that marriage is the ultimate source of happiness during our sojourn on earth. That being said, I believe that God does indeed want us to experience a certain measure of happiness in marriage, otherwise what it the point of the exercise?
According to this, we all do:
Eph. 5:28-30 "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Hi Kayla,
She mentioned that her husband is a good person, he just don’t open up to her or talk to her about his inner feelings and ablut plans pf having children, she did not say she was abused physically. I still believe that divorce is not an option unless there is immorality involved, as what the word of God says. And what i mean suffering, is like when we are in a difficult situation, we seek God for help and intervention but if its not time yet for Him to intervene, we wait, even while suffering, because we know that God is faithful, He will help us in His perfect time, as for now, He is teaching us some things through our problems and trials in life. She is seeking what God wants, and God says He hates divorce, God teaches us how to deal things here on earth. 1cor13, ... love endures, seeks not our own.... if we want to please God, we wait. Telling a person to go ahead and divorce is not a good advice. You will sin also, because you will be telling or advising her against God’s will. Matthew 7:21, remember only those who do the will of the Father in heaven can enter the kingdom of God. Jesus already told us, in this world we will have tribulations and sufferings. And through these sufferings, He will make us grow in knowing Him.
God bless you
K
kaylagrl
Guest
I think you misunderstood, I was talking about your situation when you said "Because of my husband (he is unbeliever) becoming an enemy to me and abusing me emotionally, and much more... " I wasn't talking about the OP.
Hi Kayla,
Oh, sorry. Yeah, as i said, i seek the Lord on the matter, and He told me He hates divorce. And His Word stands. The Lord will give us grace if we obey Him, grace to face all our problems and trials in life. And as we seek the Lord in everything we do, He will teach us, mold us, help us. Divorce is not an option in the Lord.
If we married the wrong person because we did not seek the Lord during the courtship or deciding on marrying, then we can have consequences. These consequences we have to face and endure, and wait for the Lords mercy. That is why it is very important for young people to seek the Lord to whom they should marry. For it is a lifetime covenant here on earth. The two become one. It is also a pattern or parallel of the plan of God in His kingdom, Jesus as our husband and we the church as a bride. We must not seek our own but God’s will.
Being a follower of Jesus, we must learn to accept that life here on earth is not always a happy one, unless we are all one in the Lord, like our spouses, family, friends, neighbors are all spirit filled, then we will have unity, and the fullness of joy in the Lord. Being a follower of Jesus while living here in this world is a very challenging one, for we are always in a battle, a battle between our flesh and our spirit. Our flesh follows our desire while our spirit wants to follow the desires of the Lord. So which do you want to win, is a choice for every follower.
Galatians 2:20 NLT
[20] My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
God bless you. Shalom!
K
kaylagrl
Guest
I agree with almost everything you said except the point I made, God doesn't expect anyone to stay in an abusive marriage. And it is very dangerous to tell someone to do so. So I just continue to make that point. Blessings to you too sister.
Separation is an option. Separation does not mean divorce; it is a means to protect oneself from an abusive situation and puts the unpleasant spouse on notice that his or her behaviour is unacceptable.
But surely you agree that in a marriage, people have responsibilities, the wife to her husband, and the husband to his wife. I'm not saying divorce is the answer, but if the husband isn't addressing the wife's needs, particularly in regards to children, or at least trying to produce children, which is one of the primary purposes of marriage, I'd argue he is being unfaithful.
I agree that loving ourselves is not a commandment, as it comes naturally. But if someone is acting unfaithfully in a marriage, I'd reason it's valid reason to involve the doctors, counsellors or church elders. Yes?
This made me laugh. I don't know if I fully agree, but it was funny!.......But.....I don't think it should matter whether you get stuck with a Harlot or a CLOSETMONKEY......If they won't consumate and procreate.....you got a dud that needs to go to the CURB!
Greetings...This looks like it was a while back, but please try to remember that when someone is injured spiritually and emotionally not to beat on them. There is a time and place for everything and the time to be aggressive is not now. Sad quote: "Sadly, the Christian army is the only army that kills its own wounded"
Try to remember a time when you were around someone who just rubbed you the wrong way and you politely walked away. Now, try to imagine being married to this person. Is "missinglove" blameless? of course not and I don't think she is claiming this. She is trying to figure out how to mitigate an insufferable situation and so we should not come on to her as if we are insufferable too.
If this site is not a refuge of calm, good advice, wisdom and yes; at the right time rebuking from like-minded people then what good is it? Please remember:
Galatians 6:1 KJV Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
Hey missinglove,
Not sure where you are in this but I hope you understand that the numerous harsh, hard-hearted words here do not mean that noone is hearing your heart cry. This present evil world is generating many relationship killing attitudes and situations. Whatever you do try to prevent bitterness from taking root and if you need to ask any questions feel free to contact me on my email...been there before.
K