Divorce?

[SIMON55]

Nope. It doesn't.

Sure it does......!
GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY !!!!
GOD SAID MULTIPLY !!!!!!
HER HUSBAND FAILED MATHEMATICS!!!!!
NO MULTIPLICATION CAUSES DIVISION.....
IT'S ......all in the mathematics!
GOD SAID DO IT !!!!!!!

 

[SIMON55]

Sigh, why is everyone picking this poor woman to pieces. She's not talking divorce because he won't have children, that's one of several issues. She made clear she doesn't want to divorce and wants to do what is right. But if you have a partner that has emotionally abandoned you then you are in the marriage alone. If he changed his mind on children, which is far from fair to her,then he at least owes it to her to tell her and give his reasons why. It's not a small thing if you talked about children and agreed to having them then turn on your partner once you're married. She may not have chosen to marry him had she had that information. If it's her hearts desire to be a mother it's cruel for him to take that from her with no explanation. But she did not say that was the reason for considering divorce, she said that was one of the reasons.

Well....I am just so sorry to have to disagree with you lol but GOD SAID MULTIPLY !!!!
So.....if ol boy doesnt know lack of multiplication causes division then he isn't Christian and doesn't understand Gods mathematics....he must have failed it.....not enough light when studying in the CLOSET!

 

[SIMON55]

Thanks! That's why I asked. It can be so easy to mishear the word.

WELL YOU HEARD HIM SAY MULTIPLY!!!!! Didn't you?
OR WERE YOU OUT OF Q TIPS THAT DAY TOO!!!!.....LOL
GOD MATHEMATICS.....STARS IN THE HEAVENS SANDS IN THE SEAS!!!!!!
IF YOU AINT MULTIPLYING YOU AINT BEING CHRISTIAN!
Lol........CAN U HEAR ME NOW?

 

[SIMON55]

Doesn't scripture permit divorce if the spouse cannot or refuses to procreate?

No consumation No Marriage Even God spread his skirt over Israel and consumated the harlot.....and then he divorced her.....which most here seem to forget.....
.......But.....I don't think it should matter whether you get stuck with a Harlot or a CLOSET MONKEY......
If they won't consumate and procreate.....you got a dud that needs to go to the CURB!

 

[Krumbeard]

Just reaching out to anyone who’s recently divorced or considering it. How do you know it’s the right thing to do? My story is long so I won’t bore anyone but I’m very unhappily married. I don’t believe in divorce but I feel I’ve tried everything to make my marriage work. I’ve placed it in God’s hands at this point but I don’t honestly feel it can be saved. I’m just tired of living a lie, pretending to be happy and being more lonely than if I was actually alone. I miss love honestly.

I have read through some of this thread. It scares me that a person can find any advice they want about a particular situation on here.
I was married for over 14 years till the Lord took her home. They were not easy years and I entertained the thought of divorce more than once. But I did take a vow for better or worse.

My marriage had some very difficult times. Some from her, some from me and the mix of both our problems. She started drinking after our third child was born. She was in rehab twice and in the hospital twice for self inflicted issues. I had my own problems to face and expose and to deal with, and still am. We were both in counseling separately for our own issues but would meet together also. I still go to counseling as I need to and talk with strong Christian friends. ( But in retrospect, those difficult years have been some of the best life lessons I ever could have had. They have helped me become a better person, by God's grace. The suffering in our lives is not pointless. It serves a purpose. God can use anything for good.

Keep praying and trusting God. This is a moment by moment decision/process but persevere. Tell God your heart and be open to him. Stay in his word. You cannot change your husband. That is between him and God. You can only change you. It's a frustrating truth. I could not change my wife and it took me years to realize that and then I had to let her go. That didn't mean I left her or that I didn't love her anymore but I had to go and stop trying to change her and work on me. It was hard. It was frustrating. It was scary.

God does answer prayers. Many times in ways we do not want or maybe what we want but in an unexpected way. I prayed for healing for my wife. He did. But not like I thought it would happen. She is pain free. I thought we would grow old together.

Anyway, here is just another person's thoughts and my advice would be to Pray, read the Bible, and seek solid biblical counseling. Ask others to pray for you both. I will also.

So take it or leave it. Just my simple thoughts.

 

[GtrPkr]

Thank you for your insight. I can only guess about my husbands salvation since it’s not my place to judge. I can say he says he is saved and he was not like any of this prior to marriage. I would not have married him had it been this way. I’m not perfect by any means and never have or will claim to be but the way I feel I have been abandoned I would never do.

I've just gone through this thread and THIS really jumped out at me! It occurs to me that you and your husband have never really been on the same page... I would just like to suggest letting your husband read this thread and see if that opens up a new line of communication. I am sympathetic, I know what it's like to marry and then suddenly find yourself living with a stranger.... It's hard, but you have to separate yourself from the problem emotionally before he will be comfortable enough to be honest. Let him read this...

 

[Didymous]

WELL YOU HEARD HIM SAY MULTIPLY!!!!! Didn't you?
OR WERE YOU OUT OF Q TIPS THAT DAY TOO!!!!.....LOL
GOD MATHEMATICS.....STARS IN THE HEAVENS SANDS IN THE SEAS!!!!!!
IF YOU AINT MULTIPLYING YOU AINT BEING CHRISTIAN!
Lol........CAN U HEAR ME NOW?

You're acting like an idiot.

 

[kaylagrl]

You're acting like an idiot.

A little odd for sure. I'm hoping the OP has found answers to her issues and things are going better for her.

 

[tourist]

WELL YOU HEARD HIM SAY MULTIPLY!!!!! Didn't you?
OR WERE YOU OUT OF Q TIPS THAT DAY TOO!!!!.....LOL
GOD MATHEMATICS.....STARS IN THE HEAVENS SANDS IN THE SEAS!!!!!!
IF YOU AINT MULTIPLYING YOU AINT BEING CHRISTIAN!
Lol........CAN U HEAR ME NOW?

My wife and I are both 64 years old so there is not going to be any multiplying going on. Even if it were possible we would have no desire to do so. We each have an adult child from a previous marriage so we're all set in that regard. My daughter did some multiplying though, 5 kids, the youngest are twin boys 2 years old, the oldest is 18.

 

[Alessia]

I didn't get it. Did you consummate the marriage?

 

[Didymous]

I didn't get it. Did you consummate the marriage?

I'm not sure who you're talking to, but if you use the reply button in the bottom of someone's post, then we'll know to whom you're speaking.

 

[NotmebutHim]

I have read through some of this thread. It scares me that a person can find any advice they want about a particular situation on here.
I was married for over 14 years till the Lord took her home. They were not easy years and I entertained the thought of divorce more than once. But I did take a vow for better or worse.

My marriage had some very difficult times. Some from her, some from me and the mix of both our problems. She started drinking after our third child was born. She was in rehab twice and in the hospital twice for self inflicted issues. I had my own problems to face and expose and to deal with, and still am. We were both in counseling separately for our own issues but would meet together also. I still go to counseling as I need to and talk with strong Christian friends. ( But in retrospect, those difficult years have been some of the best life lessons I ever could have had. They have helped me become a better person, by God's grace. The suffering in our lives is not pointless. It serves a purpose. God can use anything for good.

Keep praying and trusting God. This is a moment by moment decision/process but persevere. Tell God your heart and be open to him. Stay in his word. You cannot change your husband. That is between him and God. You can only change you. It's a frustrating truth. I could not change my wife and it took me years to realize that and then I had to let her go. That didn't mean I left her or that I didn't love her anymore but I had to go and stop trying to change her and work on me. It was hard. It was frustrating. It was scary.

God does answer prayers. Many times in ways we do not want or maybe what we want but in an unexpected way. I prayed for healing for my wife. He did. But not like I thought it would happen. She is pain free. I thought we would grow old together.

Anyway, here is just another person's thoughts and my advice would be to Pray, read the Bible, and seek solid biblical counseling. Ask others to pray for you both. I will also.

So take it or leave it. Just my simple thoughts.

Well said, brother!

 

[S94NY]

Just reaching out to anyone who’s recently divorced or considering it. How do you know it’s the right thing to do? My story is long so I won’t bore anyone but I’m very unhappily married. I don’t believe in divorce but I feel I’ve tried everything to make my marriage work. I’ve placed it in God’s hands at this point but I don’t honestly feel it can be saved. I’m just tired of living a lie, pretending to be happy and being more lonely than if I was actually alone. I miss love honestly.

I feel your pain (sadly). I have been in this rocky boat. I have tried all as well. I would not give any advice as to what you should do b/c that would be hypocritical of me. However, you are not alone. Your hurt is your hurt. It is not selfish. You have to fish through who you reply to. It s not worth the upset. Go old school write the pros and cons see which out weighs. Ask yourself why he is the way he is (not that you should except), but understanding can go a long way, it can also go no where. In looking at my husbands parents and the way they are is a template of what I don't want to be at their age. But I see where his ways come from and I am my mothers child (not a good thing). So where do we go from here, we do need to seek help, because without it, we run in circles.

I joined this site for some kind of enlightenment. There's so much going on.
Pray on it!

 

[Didymous]

Just reaching out to anyone who’s recently divorced or considering it. How do you know it’s the right thing to do? My story is long so I won’t bore anyone but I’m very unhappily married. I don’t believe in divorce but I feel I’ve tried everything to make my marriage work. I’ve placed it in God’s hands at this point but I don’t honestly feel it can be saved. I’m just tired of living a lie, pretending to be happy and being more lonely than if I was actually alone. I miss love honestly.

I filed my divorce papers today.

 

[Geraldine]

Hi Missing Love,
Im new to this chatroom and forums, i believe the Lord led me to join this chats so i can share to you and others. I feel for you and understand your situation, i myself is not divorced nor separated, but currently very unhappily married. Im married for 28 years this june. Because of my husband (he is unbeliever) becoming an enemy to me and abusing me emotionally, and much more... i prayed and asked the Lord about divorce. He really hates divorce, He wants us to be forgiving, to endure. Like what He did with us, and the church. I pleaded with the Lord to take my love away from my husband so that i will not be hurt anymore, and He told me, if He will take away His love for us when we disappoint or sin or do things that does not please Him, then no one will be saved. I believe every trials or circumstances has a purpose and a reason, and one of it is to make our faith grow.
Let the Lord Jesus be your focus, seek Him and His ways, do things to please Him. And I pray, may the Lord gives you grace to do the right thing to please the Lord.

Galatians 2:20 NASB
[20] I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

 

[Geraldine]

I am so torn...I appreciate everyone’s input and prayers. I just want to do the right thing.

May you seek God’s Word, and trust Him. Our life here on earth is temporary. What is important is to follow Jesus and be obedient to His Word. His word is truth. We are blessed if we suffer for Him, staying unhappy in the marriage because that is what God wants because He hates divorce, is suffering for Him. God bless you.

 

[Papou]

Just reaching out to anyone who’s recently divorced or considering it. How do you know it’s the right thing to do? My story is long so I won’t bore anyone but I’m very unhappily married. I don’t believe in divorce but I feel I’ve tried everything to make my marriage work. I’ve placed it in God’s hands at this point but I don’t honestly feel it can be saved. I’m just tired of living a lie, pretending to be happy and being more lonely than if I was actually alone. I miss love honestly.

Based on all your comments in this thread, it is clear that your husband will never change. Don't deceive yourself, HE WILL NEVER CHANGE.

 

[GardenofWeeden]

Why do we go into marriage assuming it will make us happy forever, when it's God's place to do that, not marriage's? Seek God, and let God worry about your happiness, don't place that burden on a mere human husband.

 

[calibob]

Amen.

 

[GHClarkII]

Maybe there's a reason for that.



Ah, there it is.



Think of it as tough love. Understanding our own human nature of selfishness goes a long way towards upholding the two Great Commandments--to love God and to love others.

Loving ourselves was never among them.

Actually we are to love our neighbors AS ourselves. That presumes that it is right to love oneself. You're misreading that text.