Dating a non believer and it’s challenges
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VII, you are heaping more pain on yourself every day you continue this relationship. If you think it will hurt for it to end today, you can't imagine how much more it will be down the line. For yourself, or if you don't love yourself enough, at least for the Kingdom, please stop. Their are christian men looking.
And to answer your question: Yes, I've dated a nonchristian recently, and in the past. It started great, it ends bad. They don't answer to God. My sister fell in love with a nonchristian, it's way too high a deficit to start with. And scripture reads 2 Corinthians 6:14 Don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers ... What agreement can exist between the temple of God and idols?
And to answer your question: Yes, I've dated a nonchristian recently, and in the past. It started great, it ends bad. They don't answer to God. My sister fell in love with a nonchristian, it's way too high a deficit to start with. And scripture reads 2 Corinthians 6:14 Don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers ... What agreement can exist between the temple of God and idols?
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Just got a divorce with me finding and committing to my Faith being at the center of it. Do NOT get married to a non-Christian. Being unequally yoked is difficult. I will never make that mistake again, though I do pray for my ex-wife all the time for her to get saved. She is the mother of my son and I spent 16 years with her. If it were up to me I would have tried to work it out, but her hostility towards God kept her from making any compromise.
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1. Many of them are not Christians at all, being either heretics or eventual de-converts.
2. Genuine Christian women are often afflicted with silly notions about dating. It flows downstream from a distorted view of Providence I can best describe as a mystical fatalism. They rout if they get the slightest feeling of discomfort about things. It often has nothing to do with Providence and everything to do with their own fears, insecurities, and so forth. To mask it in religious language is tiresome and, to a degree insulting.
3. Oh then there are the old women who reckon themselves as seers of some kind. This class of controlling hag gives advice without knowing the man or the situation, because they are over-protective of their charge. I have seen this copy-pasted since I started dating in 2009. With Christian girls, it was never the father who got in the way and always some tertiary witch who had the wrong eggs for breakfast before they consulted the oracle.
I want to stress again that it isn't any one person. The same cursed formula has played out more than once. Yet I have charged forth because it seems one cannot have a Christian wife without fighting these things off on some level, or at least that is my experience. I don't blame women either as a sex. I'm sure there are male equivalents. The cultural rot afflicts us all. That and I'd never claim to be the perfect catch- there are definitely valid reasons to send me packing. I just wish those reasons were stated honestly so I knew what to do with them.
Which brings me to non-Christian girls.
I had a good decade of hurt behind me before I gave them a try out of frustration. Again, I don't recommend it in the final analysis, but I have been temporarily happier dating non-Christians because our disagreements are straight-forward and communication is clearer. You begin addressing the 800 pound gorilla in the room, so the smaller animals are easier to address and have a good laugh over.
So from a standpoint of worldly wisdom and throw-away culture, I understand where the OP is coming from. But long-range Biblical wisdom tells me otherwise. If you want to build a family, your house has to recognize the same God.
2. Genuine Christian women are often afflicted with silly notions about dating. It flows downstream from a distorted view of Providence I can best describe as a mystical fatalism. They rout if they get the slightest feeling of discomfort about things. It often has nothing to do with Providence and everything to do with their own fears, insecurities, and so forth. To mask it in religious language is tiresome and, to a degree insulting.
3. Oh then there are the old women who reckon themselves as seers of some kind. This class of controlling hag gives advice without knowing the man or the situation, because they are over-protective of their charge. I have seen this copy-pasted since I started dating in 2009. With Christian girls, it was never the father who got in the way and always some tertiary witch who had the wrong eggs for breakfast before they consulted the oracle.
I want to stress again that it isn't any one person. The same cursed formula has played out more than once. Yet I have charged forth because it seems one cannot have a Christian wife without fighting these things off on some level, or at least that is my experience. I don't blame women either as a sex. I'm sure there are male equivalents. The cultural rot afflicts us all. That and I'd never claim to be the perfect catch- there are definitely valid reasons to send me packing. I just wish those reasons were stated honestly so I knew what to do with them.
Which brings me to non-Christian girls.
I had a good decade of hurt behind me before I gave them a try out of frustration. Again, I don't recommend it in the final analysis, but I have been temporarily happier dating non-Christians because our disagreements are straight-forward and communication is clearer. You begin addressing the 800 pound gorilla in the room, so the smaller animals are easier to address and have a good laugh over.
So from a standpoint of worldly wisdom and throw-away culture, I understand where the OP is coming from. But long-range Biblical wisdom tells me otherwise. If you want to build a family, your house has to recognize the same God.
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There is another factor in my temptation. I know two very decent Christian men who came to God via the women they were with. Christ used these fine sisters as a witness. Both marriages have lasted over a decade and they're very happy to all appearances. Blessed with children and plenty of of that sweet domestic laughter.
Fantastic, but the Bible clearly warns against that tactic (exceptions prove the rule), and I think it far more likely for a woman to call a man to Christ than it would be vice versa. Probability matters, that's why we never bet on the Detroit Lions or commit to a land war in Russia.
Fantastic, but the Bible clearly warns against that tactic (exceptions prove the rule), and I think it far more likely for a woman to call a man to Christ than it would be vice versa. Probability matters, that's why we never bet on the Detroit Lions or commit to a land war in Russia.
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I must say as the outsider, a non-Christian dating a Christian, and the constant stream of how ruinous it will be for Christians to date and marry its a bit sadly funny.
The fairy tale stream that as long as you date/marry someone one with the correct title things will work out has proven to be a relentless flood of falsehood notions on dating.
This site is a deluge of bad Christian breakups, divorces, cheating and much more. Or just bad dating advice and choices. All between people claiming to carry some magical C chromosome to prevent or fix these ills.
Yet non-Christians here are viewed as willful heathens who's singular goal in dating non-Christians is the active demotion and degradation of the spiritual walks of Christians.
In 46 years I've never seen a marriage work because they put an unrelated title over their relationship. It worked because two people understood what it meant to make it work and loved enough to fight to keep it alive.
Nor have I ever known people to enter a religious relationship whose intent was spiritual destruction. Sometimes that a byproduct of an unhealthy person naturally, regardless of religious title, but never a goal.
Meanwhile I, and others, are taught that we bring nothing but evil to relationships (despite that already being the norm beforehand). My Christian gf was wrapped in a miasma of religious mire at the hands of people believing their superiority over others due to their religious title. It encroached upon her spiritually, mentally and emotionally crippling her spiritual walk.
I may not share her every belief, but I understand unhealthy when I see it. And I know enough Christian beliefs to see when they've gone astray.
She was already looking for a way out and I was able to help be a guide to steer her away from dangerous spiritual views. The various ways she grew and the freedoms she found were quickly abundant and still grow daily. And not just spiritually. She has blomossomed into someone more wonderful than she already was when we started dating.
And while I'm no savior I was fortunate enough to play a role to help. And I recognize daily the unexpected good fruits that also became shared with me through her triumphs.
So next time people offer you "Christian dating advice", keep these thoughts in mind. What will determine who you end up with is not a string of false religious cliches and putting down others with different cliches. It's the person that sees you for you and cares enough to act on who they see in you to what is best for you.
The fairy tale stream that as long as you date/marry someone one with the correct title things will work out has proven to be a relentless flood of falsehood notions on dating.
This site is a deluge of bad Christian breakups, divorces, cheating and much more. Or just bad dating advice and choices. All between people claiming to carry some magical C chromosome to prevent or fix these ills.
Yet non-Christians here are viewed as willful heathens who's singular goal in dating non-Christians is the active demotion and degradation of the spiritual walks of Christians.
In 46 years I've never seen a marriage work because they put an unrelated title over their relationship. It worked because two people understood what it meant to make it work and loved enough to fight to keep it alive.
Nor have I ever known people to enter a religious relationship whose intent was spiritual destruction. Sometimes that a byproduct of an unhealthy person naturally, regardless of religious title, but never a goal.
Meanwhile I, and others, are taught that we bring nothing but evil to relationships (despite that already being the norm beforehand). My Christian gf was wrapped in a miasma of religious mire at the hands of people believing their superiority over others due to their religious title. It encroached upon her spiritually, mentally and emotionally crippling her spiritual walk.
I may not share her every belief, but I understand unhealthy when I see it. And I know enough Christian beliefs to see when they've gone astray.
She was already looking for a way out and I was able to help be a guide to steer her away from dangerous spiritual views. The various ways she grew and the freedoms she found were quickly abundant and still grow daily. And not just spiritually. She has blomossomed into someone more wonderful than she already was when we started dating.
And while I'm no savior I was fortunate enough to play a role to help. And I recognize daily the unexpected good fruits that also became shared with me through her triumphs.
So next time people offer you "Christian dating advice", keep these thoughts in mind. What will determine who you end up with is not a string of false religious cliches and putting down others with different cliches. It's the person that sees you for you and cares enough to act on who they see in you to what is best for you.
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dating or going out with an unbeliever well yes they can only see things on a natural level (with their five senses) while we see things on a spiritual level. Its not like we have a sixth sense but the things we sense will make NO sense to anybody who doesnt believe.
You can do either two things...tell that person the gospel and pray they are open to receive it...
Or get laughed at and mocked for being a believer, because...you cant give back or dampen down faith. It would be like dumbing down your brain or talking to a child.
Thats why unequal yoking or partnership cannot work, you cannot see eye to eye on anything.
You can do either two things...tell that person the gospel and pray they are open to receive it...
Or get laughed at and mocked for being a believer, because...you cant give back or dampen down faith. It would be like dumbing down your brain or talking to a child.
Thats why unequal yoking or partnership cannot work, you cannot see eye to eye on anything.