~Chuckle for the Day~

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the ghost turned out to be friendly & consented to pose for a snapshot. the photographer popped a bulb in his camera & took his picture. then he dashed to his studio, developed the negative & groaned. it was underexposed & completely blank.
moral: the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak!
 
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A wife's eulogy at her husband's funeral:

"Norman needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record, so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was. They urgently needed to know, to save Norman's life. Tragically, I had never known his blood type, so I only had time to sit and say goodbye. I'll never forget how supportive my Norman was. Even as he was fading away, he kept on whispering to me, "Be positive, be positive!" That was my Norman! Always thinking of others !!!!!!


facepalm-monkey.jpg :LOL:

 
A wife's eulogy at her husband's funeral:

"Norman needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record, so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was. They urgently needed to know, to save Norman's life. Tragically, I had never known his blood type, so I only had time to sit and say goodbye. I'll never forget how supportive my Norman was. Even as he was fading away, he kept on whispering to me, "Be positive, be positive!" That was my Norman! Always thinking of others !!!!!!

View attachment 259644 :LOL:
you have me laughing!
 
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stranger: "good morning doctor, i just wanted to drop by & tell you how much i benefited from your treatment"
doctor: "but you're not one of my patients".
stranger: "i know. but my uncle bill was & i'm his heir"!
 
a cute girl ws giving a manicure to a man in the barbershop.
the man said, "how about a date later"?
she said, "i'm married".
"so call your husband & tell him you're going to visit a girlfriend".
she said, "you tell him yourself, he's shaving you"!
 
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Psychiatrist: Congratulations, sir, you're cured".
Patient: "some cure, before i was julius caesar, now i'm nobody".
 
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"what kind of work do you do"?
"i work for the bureau of internal revenue"
"doesn't everybody"?
 
little girl: "grandpa, make like a frog".
grandpa: "what do you mean, make like a frog"?
little girl: "mommy said we're going to make a lot of money when you croak"!
 
a cute girl ws giving a manicure to a man in the barbershop.
the man said, "how about a date later"?
she said, "i'm married".
"so call your husband & tell him you're going to visit a girlfriend".
she said, "you tell him yourself, he's shaving you"!
My Dad would have laughed pretty hard at this one. He used to give straight razor shaves in his shop.
 
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This use the h word a couple times, sorry, but its pretty funny. (unless your emo).