Between Dating and Courtship which one is Biblical

[Minister01]

Calvary Greetings

I am here to know the different between Dating and Courtship because so many singles mix it up by comparing dating to courtship where a lot of mistake has been made which has led to divorce after marriage.

What do happen in dating in this dispensation is now happening while courting as well that is as well contrary to God's word and will.

God bless you

Evang-Missionary Segun

 

[cinder]

What happened to dating and courtship was that Christians started asking and answering the wrong questions, often in response to cultural trends that were having the wrong discussions. So whether you call it dating, courtship, life partner hunting, or sexual morality what we really need to know is how to we conduct ourselves in a God (and others) honoring way when it comes to relationships involving romance and sexual attraction?

If I were to teach on the subject here are some of the points I'd cover:

All people are created in the image of God (however flawed or tarnished that image has become) and therefore worthy of respect and value . They are never to be seen or treated as objects for you to use for your own ends or fulfillment.

Sex is a powerful bonding act that God designed to unite couples and produce more children. To engage in this with someone you are not committed to staying bonded to is a violation of God's design and purpose and will train you to more easily violate that in the future.

Doing dating / courtship right doesn't guarantee a happy or successful marriage. You will always have to work on maintaining your connection and relationship in marriage and finding ways and reasons to want to stay committed to it. There is no magic Christian pill that guarantees a good and easy marriage.

 

[phil36]

Well, in western society we have went from arranged marriage to courtship to dating and now it seems hook ups.

We know that hook ups are wrong. There's emotional involvement before you even get to know the person, this is not a good basis for any sort of relationship and not to mention the spiritual aspect of joining with another person. It violates everything that is God honouring in a relationship.

Arranged marriage doesn't need any explanation and is still a part of other cultures around the world... Is it right or wrong? It wouldn't be my preferred method.

Courtship has merit, in times gone past you got to see the other person in the home, in church and out and about in public. Space and time to grow in friendship.

Dating is a (very) modern concept which ultimately has led to the hook up culture. I'm not saying dating is wrong, I'm just saying wisdom and common sense needs to be used.

I would agree with you that no matter which way you interact and get to know your future spouse does not guarantee a happy or successful marriage. But what does guarantee a happy marriage?

Love isn't always about feelings.. It's about being like our Master... being a servant. Commitment to the good of the other. Love thy neighbour as ourselves. Learning how to resolve arguments and disagreements and not letting the sun go down with anger in the heart. Not letting vanity expose our hearts when someone of the opposite sex other than a spouse butter us up with smooth talk or helping to resolve problems etc etc. and the list goes on..

 

[Lanolin]

i think the difference mignt be that the suitor (then one who is after the person and will pop the question, usually male asking a female) in courtship goes out of his or her way to 'woo' their beloved.
animals have courtship rituals. Usually involves dancing.

Dating i have heard is more of a 'game' I have actually heard people call it a game. WHere they gamble and try their luck. I havnt heard of animals dating though they wouldnt be called that it would just be 'mating'. I think maybe there is less of an effort put into dating its more mutual.

in terms of what God wants though I think its better to be single (as numerous mentions in the Bible are about how its better not to marry, unless burning with a huge desire to be married.... this is to stop fornication)

what happened in Israel in the Old Testament was it was the norm for a marriage to be arranged. Why, well because they had to increase the population (child slave labour of course! ) and there were certain rules about it, eg Israelites could not marry foreigners who might turn to other gods unless they were gping to serve the living God. It was part of nation building.

 

[Minister01]

What happened to dating and courtship was that Christians started asking and answering the wrong questions, often in response to cultural trends that were having the wrong discussions. So whether you call it dating, courtship, life partner hunting, or sexual morality what we really need to know is how to we conduct ourselves in a God (and others) honoring way when it comes to relationships involving romance and sexual attraction?

If I were to teach on the subject here are some of the points I'd cover:

All people are created in the image of God (however flawed or tarnished that image has become) and therefore worthy of respect and value . They are never to be seen or treated as objects for you to use for your own ends or fulfillment.

Sex is a powerful bonding act that God designed to unite couples and produce more children. To engage in this with someone you are not committed to staying bonded to is a violation of God's design and purpose and will train you to more easily violate that in the future.

Doing dating / courtship right doesn't guarantee a happy or successful marriage. You will always have to work on maintaining your connection and relationship in marriage and finding ways and reasons to want to stay committed to it. There is no magic Christian pill that guarantees a good and easy marriage.

According to the Bible in courtship there is no sex and with my little understanding thru God's word is ONLY marriage that is entitle to sex not in courtship, and Dating is ungodly and is a SIN.
So actually am not talking about marriage rather Dating an Courtship which has caused so many havoc to the singles before marriage.

Thanks.

 

[Minister01]

i think the difference mignt be that the suitor (then one who is after the person and will pop the question, usually male asking a female) in courtship goes out of his or her way to 'woo' their beloved.
animals have courtship rituals. Usually involves dancing.

Dating i have heard is more of a 'game' I have actually heard people call it a game. WHere they gamble and try their luck. I havnt heard of animals dating though they wouldnt be called that it would just be 'mating'. I think maybe there is less of an effort put into dating its more mutual.

in terms of what God wants though I think its better to be single (as numerous mentions in the Bible are about how its better not to marry, unless burning with a huge desire to be married.... this is to stop fornication)

what happened in Israel in the Old Testament was it was the norm for a marriage to be arranged. Why, well because they had to increase the population (child slave labour of course! ) and there were certain rules about it, eg Israelites could not marry foreigners who might turn to other gods unless they were gping to serve the living God. It was part of nation building.

Thanks
But actually just in my own opinion not all that can stay singles because we are talking about emotion.
The Bible says some are made to be eunuch and NOT all, and the Bible says if you can't stay TO AVOID TEMPTATION YOU CAN MARRY.

Now i have found out that so many singles Mother in the part of the world are just a victim of Dating and not courtship.
Courtship should be a stage of studying your spouse and each other not allowing physical affection and lust to be involve.

 

[Minister01]

Well, in western society we have went from arranged marriage to courtship to dating and now it seems hook ups.

We know that hook ups are wrong. There's emotional involvement before you even get to know the person, this is not a good basis for any sort of relationship and not to mention the spiritual aspect of joining with another person. It violates everything that is God honouring in a relationship.

Arranged marriage doesn't need any explanation and is still a part of other cultures around the world... Is it right or wrong? It wouldn't be my preferred method.

Courtship has merit, in times gone past you got to see the other person in the home, in church and out and about in public. Space and time to grow in friendship.

Dating is a (very) modern concept which ultimately has led to the hook up culture. I'm not saying dating is wrong, I'm just saying wisdom and common sense needs to be used.

I would agree with you that no matter which way you interact and get to know your future spouse does not guarantee a happy or successful marriage. But what does guarantee a happy marriage?

Love isn't always about feelings.. It's about being like our Master... being a servant. Commitment to the good of the other. Love thy neighbour as ourselves. Learning how to resolve arguments and disagreements and not letting the sun go down with anger in the heart. Not letting vanity expose our hearts when someone of the opposite sex other than a spouse butter us up with smooth talk or helping to resolve problems etc etc. and the list goes on..

Thanks
I will like to say knowing your spouse must to be in a godly way if really you need a long lasting marriage, The way you know your spouse matters because it will brings to you more confident of whom he or she is.

God can't take the place of a man, meaning there are things we need to do for ourselves that could have help us more and as well avert future marriage disaster and a heart break.

when you want to get marry to drunker without getting to know or a whoremonger as a single sister or brother in Christ don't you think is quite dangerous?

don't you think such marriage will never be peaceful?

or May be as well the parent of the spouse are not in support yet you went ahead to woo your spouse don't you think there may be danger ahead when the bible says honor your father and mother so that your days may be long.

So the way you know your spouse matters a lot and it avoids a future disaster...

Thanks for your contribution

 

[Lynx]

Calvary Greetings

I am here to know the different between Dating and Courtship because so many singles mix it up by comparing dating to courtship where a lot of mistake has been made which has led to divorce after marriage.

What do happen in dating in this dispensation is now happening while courting as well that is as well contrary to God's word and will.

God bless you

Evang-Missionary Segun

There might be a language mix-up here.

First, you start with "I am here to know the different between" which indicates you come seeking information. But your last statement indicates you are instead here to preach to us about why one is better than the other.

Second, the terms "dating" and "courtship" mean different things in different countries, and even in different parts of a country. What you call dating seems to be a much more destructive thing than what we call dating.

 

[cinder]

According to the Bible in courtship there is no sex and with my little understanding thru God's word is ONLY marriage that is entitle to sex not in courtship, and Dating is ungodly and is a SIN.
So actually am not talking about marriage rather Dating an Courtship which has caused so many havoc to the singles before marriage.

Thanks.

The words courtship and dating don't appear in the Bible at all, but as both are terms used for describing the process you go through in choosing someone to marry and getting to the wedding day, we can and should look at what the Bible says about marriage.

And most of us here will agree with you that sex is for marriage and Biblically any sex outside of marraige is a sin. We can also agree that it is wise and prudent to spend time getting to know the person you're going to marry rather than making a quick decision based primarily on emotion or hormones. And we need both pieces because with an overemphasis on wait till you're married to have sex, there have been too many Christian young people who got married primarily because they wanted to have sex with each other and were tired of waiting.

It might be worth mentioning (since I know it can be a misconception in parts of the world) that the behavior typical in American movies does not reflect the typical behavior of American believers (at least those who go to church most every week and seek out websites like christian chat to talk about christian things even more).

 

[Lynx]

It might be worth mentioning (since I know it can be a misconception in parts of the world) that the behavior typical in American movies does not reflect the typical behavior of American believers (at least those who go to church most every week and seek out websites like christian chat to talk about christian things even more).

Oh yeah, movies! I never thought about that. It might be the main cause of the misunderstanding.

No, definitely do not take what you see in the movies as typical behavior here in the USA.

 

[Minister01]

The words courtship and dating don't appear in the Bible at all, but as both are terms used for describing the process you go through in choosing someone to marry and getting to the wedding day, we can and should look at what the Bible says about marriage.

And most of us here will agree with you that sex is for marriage and Biblically any sex outside of marraige is a sin. We can also agree that it is wise and prudent to spend time getting to know the person you're going to marry rather than making a quick decision based primarily on emotion or hormones. And we need both pieces because with an overemphasis on wait till you're married to have sex, there have been too many Christian young people who got married primarily because they wanted to have sex with each other and were tired of waiting.

It might be worth mentioning (since I know it can be a misconception in parts of the world) that the behavior typical in American movies does not reflect the typical behavior of American believers (at least those who go to church most every week and seek out websites like christian chat to talk about christian things even more).

That's great
Yes the Bible might not stated it clear but the bible says even the nature knows what is right.
With this i know so many will not make a mistake in marriage by the grace of God

 

[Minister01]

There might be a language mix-up here.

First, you start with "I am here to know the different between" which indicates you come seeking information. But your last statement indicates you are instead here to preach to us about why one is better than the other.

Second, the terms "dating" and "courtship" mean different things in different countries, and even in different parts of a country. What you call dating seems to be a much more destructive thing than what we call dating.

Thanks
Actually not preaching, is clarification of what am asking for better understanding.

Really am not quite sure it means different thing in some country because BEFORE GOD and our LORD JESUS CHRIST.

 

[Lanolin]

Thanks
But actually just in my own opinion not all that can stay singles because we are talking about emotion.
The Bible says some are made to be eunuch and NOT all, and the Bible says if you can't stay TO AVOID TEMPTATION YOU CAN MARRY.

Now i have found out that so many singles Mother in the part of the world are just a victim of Dating and not courtship.
Courtship should be a stage of studying your spouse and each other not allowing physical affection and lust to be involve.

I dont know havent done a survey on it....
I thought you were talking about marriage not emotion.

People can be single for lots of reasons not because they dated and didnt court. Many are single because their spouse died.
You also forgetting marriages of convenience or arranged marriages where there is little dating or courtship to speak of. Its basically heres your spouse. You are getting married. Today.

 

[Minister01]

I dont know havent done a survey on it....
I thought you were talking about marriage not emotion.

People can be single for lots of reasons not because they dated and didnt court. Many are single because their spouse died.
You also forgetting marriages of convenience or arranged marriages where there is little dating or courtship to speak of. Its basically heres your spouse. You are getting married. Today.

That's fine
We have a lot and lot of single Mom because of relationship blunder. You actually need to know your spouse to avoid a future disaster

 

[Lynx]

That's fine
We have a lot and lot of single Mom because of relationship blunder. You actually need to know your spouse to avoid a future disaster

From what I've heard that doesn't always guarantee avoiding that future disaster. People can change over time.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

Calvary Greetings

I am here to know the different between Dating and Courtship because so many singles mix it up by comparing dating to courtship where a lot of mistake has been made which has led to divorce after marriage.

What do happen in dating in this dispensation is now happening while courting as well that is as well contrary to God's word and will.

God bless you

Evang-Missionary Segun

You aren't here to learn anything. You claim you are but have argued with everyone telling them they are wrong.
Really you're here to perpetuate an idea you say is in the Bible, but have yet to prove it.
Please he more honest about your intentions.

And getting to know people better is not a solution. It can be a help, but in reality the longer people are emotionally connected the more likely they will progress with the relationship, even in light of negative things.
Therefore people not willing to ignore serious problems seems to be a bigger issue than longer times together. What's the point of taking longer to get to know someone if they're simply going to ignore the red flags?

There is no "just do this and everything will work out" solution for relationships, including time.

 

[Lanolin]

A lot of men just pick brides they like the look of from an online catalogue. Most of them they dont even know from a bar of soap - they have never met before, dont know their friends or family, culture, language...nothing.

 

[Minister01]

A lot of men just pick brides they like the look of from an online catalogue. Most of them they dont even know from a bar of soap - they have never met before, dont know their friends or family, culture, language...nothing.

I love this statement
God bless you

 

[Minister01]

From what I've heard that doesn't always guarantee avoiding that future disaster. People can change over time.

ok good