So I’m new to the faith, about 4-5 months in of nothing but studying and learning the faith. It was rough but things are seemingly getting better, I just started working a new restaurant job. They’re is this Russian girl that nobody really talks to, i noticed she was giving me heavy attention and body language as well as numerous other physiological signs because I was training in the “to go” or “door dash” area, I got deep feelings In got in my chest when she kept standing super close to me purposely. Her boyfriend came in at the same time as this, they did not have a good interaction at all. She also said they fight a lot. Im someone who generally always chooses the hard road, and quality over quantity. The girls at my restaurant are very “free spirited” if you know what I mean :/. This one not many people talked to her, she’s Russian and she uses being “mean” to kinda coup with this and she gets oppressive treatment from one of the managers. She is insecure and (seems) unhappy but at the same time I know she could just be trying to play the field as evil as that is. All I noticed were the guys coming on to her but she backed away, from what I could see I was the only one this has happened to. The restaurant people seemed kinda shocked me and her were interacting. It was my fourth day and first time with her so I haven’t gotten a good judge of what she is truly like. But neither of them are believers, so I guess my question is, is it okay to get to know this person with intentions of bringing her into the faith if she ever decided to leave him and should I wait for this to happen to get to know her. Or just flee which I’m unsure because this sorta feeling hasn’t happened in a long time. But it could be lust as well, I don’t know what to do in this situation. I also know I shouldn’t be focusing on finding a women at this time because I know in Gods eyes he’s sparing me. But this girl has me curious and that doesn’t happen often for me at all, especially to the point I had to ask questions.
Believer vs. non-believing & seemingly unstable relationship between an unmarried/uncommitted couple
- Thread starter Urmichael
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"Missionary dating" is always a bad idea.
What's really going on is someone gave you some attention now you're looking for reasons to pursue it. Even if that means picking her current relationship apart and interpreting things in a way that suits what you want. You're already off to a bad start.
Rule #1 of dating... if who they are, right now, is not what you're looking for, don't pursue it. Because you aren't interested in Them, you're interested in an altered version that's more suited to your preferences. And if they never fall in line with your expectations then you'll lose interest. All to be with someone you weren't really into to start with, because you wanted to change them.
It's a selfish attitude whereby you expect another person to be what you want them to be, so you can pursue things with them. That attitude is the complete opposite of what the foundation of a healthy relationship is.
What happens if you pursue her with the intent to get her saved, how long will you lead this person on before you give up on them and break their heart and hurt them?
How long will you spend your life in a relationship with someone who isn't what you want?
What if they fake a conversion just to keep you? Then you marry, they have no more reason to fake it, and show their true colors.
Never disrespect another person by hoping to change them to your will. Nor be so arrogant as to think that's an acceptable attitude.
Lastly dating someone with such intents is actually a manipulation and possibly even control. That's not one of the fruits of the spirit, and quite the opposite. Nor a good witness.
What's really going on is someone gave you some attention now you're looking for reasons to pursue it. Even if that means picking her current relationship apart and interpreting things in a way that suits what you want. You're already off to a bad start.
Rule #1 of dating... if who they are, right now, is not what you're looking for, don't pursue it. Because you aren't interested in Them, you're interested in an altered version that's more suited to your preferences. And if they never fall in line with your expectations then you'll lose interest. All to be with someone you weren't really into to start with, because you wanted to change them.
It's a selfish attitude whereby you expect another person to be what you want them to be, so you can pursue things with them. That attitude is the complete opposite of what the foundation of a healthy relationship is.
What happens if you pursue her with the intent to get her saved, how long will you lead this person on before you give up on them and break their heart and hurt them?
How long will you spend your life in a relationship with someone who isn't what you want?
What if they fake a conversion just to keep you? Then you marry, they have no more reason to fake it, and show their true colors.
Never disrespect another person by hoping to change them to your will. Nor be so arrogant as to think that's an acceptable attitude.
Lastly dating someone with such intents is actually a manipulation and possibly even control. That's not one of the fruits of the spirit, and quite the opposite. Nor a good witness.
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Since you are new to the faith,I say to you MAKE JESUS YOUR PRIMARY RELATIONSHIP! The enemy uses many tools to destroy our faith! Study and pray ,get close to Him and WAIT! If you are meant to be with someone it will be someone who also believes and is seeking God! You are young,so please ask Him what to do to bring YOU closer to Him. Peace and love! 🌐🌐🌐
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Do not pursue a romantic relationship with her.. And if you have those types of feelings then it is best to keep away from her while you have these feelings.. You are new in Christ and you need to grow in the knowledge of your Faith.. When you are mature in Jesus you will be more able to deal with such situations with the self control that is needed..
So be polite and professional around her for the time being.. But don't initiate any kind of serious relationship in the hope of transforming her into a Christian woman..
As someone above has said with wisdom that satan can and does use situations like this to undermine New Christians walk with the LORD Jesus.. Many Christians have suffered great trauma by getting involved with unbelievers. The relationships have morphed into some of the most toxic types that end up in devastation..
So be polite and professional around her for the time being.. But don't initiate any kind of serious relationship in the hope of transforming her into a Christian woman..
As someone above has said with wisdom that satan can and does use situations like this to undermine New Christians walk with the LORD Jesus.. Many Christians have suffered great trauma by getting involved with unbelievers. The relationships have morphed into some of the most toxic types that end up in devastation..
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