Being Single and Seeking Absolution

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Tex_MidwesternerNW

Active member
Dec 30, 2025
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Being away from the one true church for such a long time has hurt my sensibility regarding intimacy and even self-control. The New Testament has stern words for my belief, and it causes me consternation because I know that the Word is completely trustworthy and without divergence from the truth.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 states, "Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people -- none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (NLT, Tyndale House)

I do not get off scot free here. I call upon the name of the Lord, and he clearly informed me that my sin is in fact, before me. What's worse, making this sin public would be a pretext for being dissociated from the community of believers. But this does not mean I can fail to call upon the Lord for help. Being made right is a matter of this adherance to scripture.
 
I appreciate your response

There is surely no profit in bringing shame on one's self by putting every hidden aspect of their lives into the public view. I am concerned with taming the attributes that stand out, like greed, so that they do not become anybody else's problem.

So in the sense of God's warning against such an idolatrous way of life, I stand to gain by admitting to a Pastor that I have no appetite for marriage. He or she should be able to redirect the conversation from a place of unorganized shame to an organized responsibility.
 
Being away from the one true church for such a long time has hurt my sensibility regarding intimacy and even self-control. The New Testament has stern words for my belief, and it causes me consternation because I know that the Word is completely trustworthy and without divergence from the truth.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 states, "Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people -- none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (NLT, Tyndale House)

I do not get off scot free here. I call upon the name of the Lord, and he clearly informed me that my sin is in fact, before me. What's worse, making this sin public would be a pretext for being dissociated from the community of believers. But this does not mean I can fail to call upon the Lord for help. Being made right is a matter of this adherance to scripture.
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

That's what scripture has to say.
 
But scripture doesn't anywhere say that being disinterested in marriage is a sin in and of itself. The real question is how can you best serve God as a single while you're single (or as a married if and when you marry).

But I get the feeling there's more to this story than just not being interested in getting married.

Also probably worth saying that confession can be to a trusted mentor or friend. It's not like you have to tell the whole church or whole world all your shameful secrets. The main benefit of confession is to make that voice that's telling you if anyone ever finds out the secret you'll be rejected, abandonded, and condemned shut up by proving it wrong.
 
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You don't have to make any sin public. Take your concerns and sins to the Lord. You may not get off scot-free but please know that God is full of mercy and compassion. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
 
Being away from the one true church for such a long time has hurt my sensibility regarding intimacy and even self-control. The New Testament has stern words for my belief, and it causes me consternation because I know that the Word is completely trustworthy and without divergence from the truth.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 states, "Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people -- none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (NLT, Tyndale House)

I do not get off scot free here. I call upon the name of the Lord, and he clearly informed me that my sin is in fact, before me. What's worse, making this sin public would be a pretext for being dissociated from the community of believers. But this does not mean I can fail to call upon the Lord for help. Being made right is a matter of this adherance to scripture.
well though it may sound like cliche we all sin in some form during a week but, the difference is conviction and repentance if we strive to move forward and put our worst sins behind us then God/Jesus takes this into account and forgives us, whether or not we confess our sins to others is left completely up to us, what is more important is not hiding such things from God/Jesus, also welcome I'm sure you'll learn a great deal here as I have and uplift your spirit😀🙏
 
You don't have to make any sin public. Take your concerns and sins to the Lord. You may not get off scot-free but please know that God is full of mercy and compassion. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
yep Tourist no need to declare to the world our sins for only God/Jesus can forgive sin, yet it's true testifying can be spiritually good too reminding us what God/Jesus has helped pull us out of🙏
 
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yep Tourist no need to declare to the world our sins for only God/Jesus can forgive sin, yet it's true testifying can be spiritually good too reminding us what God/Jesus has helped pull us out of🙏
Joseph! How lovely to see you. Plus, to add to the convo, there is now no condemnation in Christ Jesus...
 
Joseph! How lovely to see you. Plus, to add to the convo, there is now no condemnation in Christ Jesus...
glad to see you too Magenta off work with pay for 2 weeks so thought I'd drop in😁😀👍
kind of felt I'd have this a sabbath day😀
 
yep Tourist no need to declare to the world our sins for only God/Jesus can forgive sin, yet it's true testifying can be spiritually good too reminding us what God/Jesus has helped pull us out of🙏
It's great to see you posting again fizzyjoe! You have been missed for sure.
 
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Being away from the one true church for such a long time has hurt my sensibility regarding intimacy and even self-control. The New Testament has stern words for my belief, and it causes me consternation because I know that the Word is completely trustworthy and without divergence from the truth.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 states, "Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people -- none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." (NLT, Tyndale House)

I do not get off scot free here. I call upon the name of the Lord, and he clearly informed me that my sin is in fact, before me. What's worse, making this sin public would be a pretext for being dissociated from the community of believers. But this does not mean I can fail to call upon the Lord for help. Being made right is a matter of this adherance to scripture.
I appreciate your response

There is surely no profit in bringing shame on one's self by putting every hidden aspect of their lives into the public view. I am concerned with taming the attributes that stand out, like greed, so that they do not become anybody else's problem.

So in the sense of God's warning against such an idolatrous way of life, I stand to gain by admitting to a Pastor that I have no appetite for marriage. He or she should be able to redirect the conversation from a place of unorganized shame to an organized responsibility.
Welcome to the forum, Tex!

If you don't mind me asking, what is the purpose of you post? Is that something you want info about?

James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

This is the only verse in the bible that says to confess our sins to another human, as opposed to God. It wouldn't be viewed as a replacement to the necessity of confession to God.

Generally speaking, confession to a fellow christian can bring any sin "into the light". This means into the clear view of you and God. When you confess it to a close christian who's willing to assist you with it, one can better understand the whys and plan to correct the situation, or to do better. And they can pray for you.

Additionally, you can set up an accountability to the christian you confessed to, where they can ask you how things are going, or you setup follow-up meetings, like having a christian counselor/mentor.

Ultimately, it's through the power of God and the Holy Spirit that we may have power over sin. Confession to a family or church can help one stay out of bad situations... such as someone with a drinking problem; everyone is going to stop offering them drinks or dragging them to the bar.
 
@Tex_MidwesternerNW - Just a quick addendum to my prior post #12 (two above)... I should be more careful with my posts and didn't want anyone to misunderstand... probably goes without saying...

Regarding confession to a group/church... I should add: I certainly do not recommend confessing sin or a personal area of struggle to one's entire church group, family nor any large group, as human's as a whole may not be mature enough to react in a godly manner to the person confessing something. As a group, they didn't ask for, nor agree to hear, an individual's personal confession and so could react poorly to it in many ways. Not to mention, the issue may be inappropriate for young people or specific people.
 
So, let me clarify.

I do need to be able to let someone absolve me. But it is by fear of the Lord that I flee to the Lord. And when I do this, I want to offer myself to God, not for my self-righeous need to receive the Lord's Supper, but because I am like a piece of work and want it.

No intention to serve anyone but God. Only to be seen as I am, a Southerner transplanted in the Midwest. The sin I have committed is abuse. I got in trouble for being abusive and need to admit it at some point, but it's not really something that repentance is beyond mending.
 
Heb 12

v.1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with endurance the race set out for us.

The KJV translates 'entangles' as "besets" which is illustrative of an assault from every side, like, there's way around it. Yet...
Jesus is the Way!

v.2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

When we look at ourselves, we see sin in front, besides, and behind us and so we're inclined to be 'set' there, so, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus" who, "scorning its shame... endured the cross" "and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

He scorned the shame that sin besets us with and endured the cross so that we could be unburdened of it. We are directed to throw it off and keep running the race that finishes in glory.

I struggle with the inclination toward sin, and so also does that great cloud of witnesses that surrounds me who otherwise seem to be perfect. Of myself, I am not right. Of Christ, I'm made right in Him. His grace left "His mark" on me which covers all the marks of sin.

This does not enable my sin as much as it does address it, by His blood, suffering, and death. But it does not leave out the mark of His resurrection in whereby He enables me to walk in newness of life and respond accordingly (to your observation of organized responsibility).
 
I think I'm being hard on myself. This passage really intends that people who live in these broken and burgled ways of life don't have any hope. Paul is not saying that an unmarried man needs to live this way. But he also says that the way I live in will be tested with fire and needs to be better than the law requires
 
So, let me clarify.

I do need to be able to let someone absolve me. But it is by fear of the Lord that I flee to the Lord. And when I do this, I want to offer myself to God, not for my self-righeous need to receive the Lord's Supper, but because I am like a piece of work and want it.

No intention to serve anyone but God. Only to be seen as I am, a Southerner transplanted in the Midwest. The sin I have committed is abuse. I got in trouble for being abusive and need to admit it at some point, but it's not really something that repentance is beyond mending.
Not sure what you mean by you 'need to be able to let someone absolve you'?

I take it you mean the person you wronged? I also sense you have a Catholic background, so not sure if you mean a priest?

Do you mean you want to give the person you wronged the opportunity to "absolve" or forgive you... so that person might have the peace of forgiving you and thus also receive forgiveness from God (Mark 11:25–26)?

Scripture points out confessing sin to one you wronged is for interpersonal reconciliation and peace, and also a clear heart before the Lord, as opposed to "absolution" (Mat 5:22-23). “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."

“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” – Proverbs 28:13

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9

If they choose to, they can, in-person, personally forgive you; but this act doesn't absolve you of your sin to God. Scripture declares God has to power to forgive sin Exodus 34:6–7, Isaiah 43:25, etc. In Mark 2:7 the scribes declare only God can forgive sins and Jesus does not correct them or explain a new way, indicating Jesus is God.

I believe only in Genesis 50:17 does anyone literally ask someone to forgive them. Context-wise Joseph's brothers ask him to forgive them for selling him into slavery. Joseph has the Egyptian State power to execute them for their crime against him. I'd be asking him to forgive me too.

Lastly, there is debate as to the interpretation of John 20:23, a split between Catholic Church and other Church "denominations". I read the later interpretation generally is Jesus gave the apostles (or all present there) the power to govern the church regarding church discipline, where remittance or withholding remittance means being forgiven in reconciliation and being able to stay with the believers or being asked to leave.
 
Yes, I did say I am seeking absolution, but not by talking about sin as if I have ever allowed it a place to captivate my common sense.

The passage uses the word "h*mosexuality* which is not anything I teach others to practice. But I have been captivated by repressed feelings that I'm not capable of entertaining.

Were that the reason I could not be a part of confession and absolution, my conscience would be dead and I like a wild donkey sniffing at the wind. May it never be.

The intimacy of fellowship is damaged by that kind of talk and mainly I need to understand that Paul is not saying the failure to be married is spiritual death. Instead I am concerned that my deeds have not all been that generous.
 
You're making it very difficult to understand you. But if I understand right what's plaguing you is a combination of some sort of abuse and dealing with feelings of same sex attraction and wondering if that somehow disqualifies you and makes you unacceptable to God. But that verse is a verse of hope because at the end it says "Some of you were once like that. But you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." Which means that whatever your past and whatever your present struggles, when you call on Jesus he's there to make you right with God and live a life that's consistent with what God commands. It doesn't mean it will be easy or pleasant, but it is doable and you can be accepted. At least that's what the following verses indicate:

1Co 10:13 NLT - The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

Heb 4:14-16 NLT - So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
 
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