A request for a bit of advice.

[Seth]

Do you remember when this started- did something happen around the time you first started feeling this way?

My memory's nearly nonexistent. All I remember of my becoming like this was a long and steady falling out with God that happened over the course of half a year. If I were to blame it on any single event, it would be the realization of how unstable my life really was, and how it would all come crashing down as soon as I hit 18.

When one is addicted to something, it often seems to be, as you have pointed out, to fill a void. You say these are the only things that make you happy when you're down.

Also, I see that you "start thinking" when you put the controller down- is it just the negative thoughts that swoop in right then?

When I start thinking, it's about everything that is unresolved. All of the things mentioned in this thread are among them. Plus a few that vary from day to day. Like, how I'm going to beat that one boss in that one video game I'm playing at the time. But, that's just an example.

You cannot find the inspiration to stop- and who would, when it is something that makes you feel alive! But you seem uncomfortable with this, because as you pointed out, it isn't a little harmless fun- it is an addiction.

It's something I'm using to hide from my problems. You know what it means to "Stick your head in the dirt"? The video games and internet would be the figurative dirt in that scenario.

To be loved and cared for is something that is rooted deeply into the human heart. We come out of the womb, into this new scary environment, getting an overload of the senses and needing safety! So we form attachments with our family, and they are our role models for other relationships.

It's not always that easy though! You say you are homeschooled- in what ways do you think that this has affected your relationship with others? Are you a member of any youth or church groups?

There are no others to have a relationship with besides my family. And, they for the most part, aren't very caring individuals themselves. But, I can't blame them.

The church I'm involved with has a nonexistent youth group that never got off the ground because of the lack of young people attending. The whole church is full of people over the age of 50.

If you could rate yourself on a scale of 1-10, what would you rate it?

Also, tell me- do you have any hobbies- music, art, writing, sports, photography?

Are you really insignificant?
Think about this- whoever you meet, you effect them in intricate and unimaginable ways. People often judge us less than we believe that they do as well. That certainly doesn't keep us from wondering how small we are, in the scheme of things. You are a thinker, yes? A busy mind can be chaotic.

I went a little more in depth than I had first intended... haha... feel free to PM about this, I'm always open to talking to people about these things.

On a 1-10 scale of what? Purpose? I'd give myself a whopping 3/10.

I've no hobbies besides video games. The opportunity never availed itself for me to be able to partake in anything that required resources to begin with, and have always been a person too lazy to get anything else done.

A chaotic mind, that sums me up pretty well.

I don't see how I've had such a positive impact on others. And, since they will be gone in another few generations as well, nothing is gained in my mind. But, I would like to add that if I win souls for God, then there is something gained. I'm in no shape to go witnessing though.

Thanks for the post.

 

[Seth]

Well I guess my advice for all of the topics is to ask God. He can give u everything u need.
1. I sometimes have this problem too.. I ask God to give me willpower.. If you ask Him and sincerely mean it, I believe He will keep you on track and He will help you to do things like maybe read your Bible like a chapter a day or something..
2. As for the purpose of your existence , God created you to be friends with Him He loves you too much and Hes glad that you trust in Him. He wants you to share Him With other people so they can go to heaven too
3. I can be the same way, but what I do is think: in the long run, what's gonna matter more, completing another video game, or reading some in my Bible and just spending time talking to God? Just ask Him to give you strength to do what u know is the right thing, and honestly mean it, and He'll help ya out
4. Have u asked Him to give u a good friend that will be there for you? When I'm feeling alone, sit down, set a chair across from you, and just talk to God. Like Hes right there, because He is. Whenever you feel alone and whatever you're doing, you can ALWAYS know Hes with you. And back to the chair thing. It feels good to just get your thoughts out. Just vent to Him because it makes Him happy when you spend time with Him. Just explain everything that's going on, and what you're feeling and tell him your problems. He really does care About u.
5. Yea, I know was your talking about.. it bothers me how I cant make much of an impact. I struggle with wants
ing to help everyone. I want everyone to know God and I want to help lead people to Him. I just hafta step back and think about each person individually. I know theres no way I can help everyone, so I prey that God will send me someone to witness to. I jus think not about what kind of impact I made on the world, but how i have impacted peoples eternities . If I can lead people to Jesus, they will have an eternity in heaven and you have not failed as a Christian . As long as your alive,you can live for God! I hope I have helped you, and I'll. Be praying for you every day God loves you!

1. Yep, I've asked sincerely and am waiting to receive. He'll probably train me through circumstances, like the one I'm already in. But it doesn't make me feel any better for the now.

2. I messed up my relationship with God, and can't seem to undo the damage I've done. I've got hardened heart syndrome, and don't know of a way to crack the shell.

3. I'm sure. One must be willing to be helped before they can receive help, yes? Actions speak louder than words, and I'm struggling to do the right things. Mostly because I'm unmotivated.

4. Asked God many times for a good friend for over six years. Never received one, so I assume he doesn't want me to have one at this time. I'm looking for a way to cope with loneliness.

5. Can't disagree with that. Right now, though, I'm in a position where I can't help others, and am in no shape to do so anyways. Kinda sticky.

 

[Seth]

My friend, my pastor spoke about this today and I believe it addresses all the issues in one way or another. First things first, there is an underlying cause to all the issues you described. There's something you don't want to feel. My sense is that it could be fear of failure or inadequacy related but thats for you to
determine.
In order to follow through with a behavioral change most people have hear that it takes 21 days to build a habit. However, you must first have a vision. What do you want to see? How do you want to behave? What are you looking to accomplish? Second, you must have intention. You must actually intend or plan to do it. Lastly, you must have a method. Pm me if you'd like further explanation.

Interesting. Thanks for putting it into order for me.

 

[Jon49522]

Hi there Seth, just saw this post and thought I would answer as best I can, as someone who shares many of the viewpoints/feelings you listed.

First,

Inspiration. Something I have lacked as well for some time now. For me, where I currently live is not ideal to me, in more ways than one, so improving my circumstances seems like just a waste of time right now. All I can say in this area is to basically live where you are right now, and just keep believing for change in whatever direction you need. I'm sorry if people have told you that before, I know many people have told me that, and it seems easy for them to say, but it's pretty much all one can do until circumstances are right for change.

Second,

"Depression(?), I suppose it could be called." I feel basically the same way when I am blue, more a lack of feeling than otherwise, sort of like you described. I remember I used to feel this way quite a lot a couple of years ago, but one thing that helped immensely for me was to find a constructive hobby, in my case music. I find that it helps so much; when I'm not working or talking to someone, etc., I can play guitar and be occupied, and when I'm occupied, I feel fine. Seems like boredom is a root cause of depression, and boredom surfaces when one is unoccupied, so I would suggest finding some constructive hobby, such as music, art, or writing; I think it will help, and you might even enjoy it while you are at it!

Third,

Addiction. Ah, the old internet/video games thing. Brother, I would guess that most guys our age have suffered this affliction, and in my opinion, one simply needs time to grow out of it. I used to be extremely addicted to video games; they were taking up every spare second of my time, so much so that my parents kept banning me from playing for periods of time. Eventually I just kind of stopped on my own; I do play video games still, but just for fun sometimes, not like before. As for the internet, I don't know if that one is so easy; I'm still addicted and probably always will be. Such a tool for information gathering, communication, entertainment, etc., is so useful and appealing I don't really see how one could totally shut it out altogether after being exposed to it. Like in my previous point, pursuing a constructive hobby should definitely help you out with both of these items.


Fourth,

Loneliness. Same story with me; homeschooler out in the sticks lacking friends, yadda yadda. Real friends are something I would love to have, but unfortunately none seem to be found around here. I have also had internet friends; at least the couple I have seem to continue correspondence, but it is still a rather poor substitute for real friends. Allow me to disagree on your statement that God is the only one who can fill this role; God said in Genesis that it is not good for man to be alone, so he created woman. Pretty much the permanent solution to the loneliness problem is marriage. Obviously, that is easier said than done, and I'm really one to talk in this area (haha!), but the fact remains even so. As a side, if you want, I would be glad to correspond with you; I try to respond as quick as I am able to people, so unless we totally do not get along or something, I will do my best to keep up if you want to send me a message.

Fifth,

Purpose. Well, I don't suppose there is anyone on earth right now who would rock the entire world if he simply disappeared; I think the best one can do is make the greatest positive impact on those around him as is possible, and leave it at that. Seems like you may have been feeling pretty lonely when you posted this, or maybe still are, so there is not too much I can say about that; I have times myself when I feel this way myself, but until the need is fulfilled I think all one can do is get through it as best one can. Concerning your "failure in my Christian walk", I am not exactly sure why you think you failed; perhaps you could clarify.

Well, hopefully I helped in some way; you'll be in my prayers.

God bless you,
Jonathan

 

[Lucy68]

Seth, you have a video game addiction.

I've been reading studies on the affect of this addicition on young people and it's astounding when you think about it. My son has this same problem. You're exhibiting the exact same negative side affects of videogaming/blogging that he has.

The symptoms are depression, lack of self-discipline, not eating right, not caring about much of anything in 'real' life.

One of the side affects is the inability to follow through with an idea. Do you find yourself thinking of something you need to do or even want to do a little bit, but can't work up the steam to carry it through? Then you are addicted to video games.

Why is this? I think it's because subconsciously the main thought is, "I have to beat this level" . It's just always there....consuming every free moment. Soon you start resenting ANYTHING that prevents you from this goal.

I don't know why our brains are so programmed but we are able to fight it. It's very good that you recognize that something is wrong and you're thinking about how to change it.

Google internet addiction, or videogame addiction and I'm sure you will get some good suggestions. It may be best to go cold turkey and do not get on the internet or videogame for say 3 days to start with or set a goal that you think you can reach. Then work up to longer periods. You need to have alternative things to do...studying God's Word is a good way to go . You'll find it hard to concentrate at first but keep with it.

You will be re-programming your brain so it will take time and effort.

May God be active in your heart, mind, and soul, as you turn to the Great healer. Be vigilent, the destroyer is on the prowl

 

[Brandon777]

First,

Inspiration: God is the only truly pure motivation for changing oneself. The love of God. If you don’t have enough love of God in your life, ask God for it. He will bring it to you. But I warn you, don’t ask to love God more to have the inspiration to be a better person; ask only because God deserves your love. The rest will take care of it’self. That’s what the Bible says, and I can attest to it myself.

Second,

Depression: Could be a biological chemical imbalance, but what it seems more like to me is the same as the first one. There is but one purpose that is given under heaven that fills the heart to the brim leaving the soul filled with lasting contentment and that is the love of God. Whenever you feel that you are drifting into depression close your eyes and remember every good thing that’s every happened to you. The Bible says that God the Father gives every good thing. Recall that and take the effort to reach into your soul to thank him for every good thing He has ever given you. Do this even when you don’t feel depressed. I have manic-depressive disorder and this works for me.

Third,

Addiction: You say your problems swarm you all at once when you stop playing. That is the evil one’s attempt to keep you looking down and not up. All He’s trying to do is keep you looking level, at your surroundings. Look up. Up to God remembering the hope He gives us. Transfix your eyes on Him, and you’re video game/ internet idolatry will vanish. But again, remember that God doesn’t owe you anything. The purpose of worshiping God isn’t to get a ticket to happiness, it’s to honor Who deserves to be honored.

Fourth,

Loneliness. Do you have skype? This isn’t me having pitty on you; I’ve been looking for friends willing to talk as well. If you don’t have skype get it. It’s the best chat site out there, and it’s free even for voice or voice and video. You said: “I know, God's the only one who can fill this role. But, right now. The above addiction is keeping me from God, and apathy is keeping me from feeling his love.” Having apathy or not is up to you. Which would you rather have? Apathy or God? I think we both know the answer to that. Think about this wisdom: It’s not so much about you feeling His love as it is Him feeling your love that matters.

Fifth,

Purpose. Purpose comes along with trusting in this promises of the Bible. Romans 8:28 “And we have known that to those loving God all things do work together for good, to those who are called according to purpose” So the Bible proclaims we have purpose, so it’s part of our faith to believe that. Also I’ll remind you that your perspective of your purpose is insignificant when compared with God’s opinion of your purpose. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” “I feel that my life lacks any kind of purpose, and if I were to drop off the face of the earth, it really wouldn't have much of an impact. I know this for a fact.” Do you now? If only one person cares deeply about you, then you would have an impact if you left. Imagine if I told you to punch someone you care about in the face. Now do that every day. You dying would be worse than that to all the people who care about you. That wouldn’t be very kind would it? That’s why you shouldn’t even talk like this, because it’s on the edge of considering suicidal thoughts. And that’s not a road you want to go down. “My failure in my Christian walk has left me without any kind of direction.” The direction you seek is the road that’s full of more rocks than you expected. You may fall down on a difficult road to travel, but the road is still in plain sight. You already have your direction. Don’t be discouraged brother.