A question for the men

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#41
I wonder what the 'certain facial expression' is. :unsure:
is it this one:p
or this one :love:
or maybe its this one ;)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,227
9,293
113
#42
I know some women can catch my eye from across the room. It's something about their faces. Not an alluring "come hither" look, not a witty look, nothing that has anything to do with intelligence or humor or sexiness - it's a look that says "I care."

The best way I know to put it has already been said in a song.
Eyes that find the good in things
When good is not around
Eyes that find the source of help
When help cannot be found
Eyes full of compassion
Seeing every pain
Knowing what you're going through
And feeling it the same
Just like my father's eyes

The "father" in this case was of course God, but my own father and mother have those eyes too. If you care about people it will show up in your face.

Unfortunately the women I know who have those eyes are either 80 years old, married (and I ain't a poacher) or they are single and I have heard them say to many people that they have no interest in starting a relationship. Ah well.
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
113
24
#43
I know some women can catch my eye from across the room. It's something about their faces. Not an alluring "come hither" look, not a witty look, nothing that has anything to do with intelligence or humor or sexiness - it's a look that says "I care."

The best way I know to put it has already been said in a song.
Eyes that find the good in things
When good is not around
Eyes that find the source of help
When help cannot be found
Eyes full of compassion
Seeing every pain
Knowing what you're going through
And feeling it the same
Just like my father's eyes

The "father" in this case was of course God, but my own father and mother have those eyes too. If you care about people it will show up in your face.

Unfortunately the women I know who have those eyes are either 80 years old, married (and I ain't a poacher) or they are single and I have heard them say to many people that they have no interest in starting a relationship. Ah well.
That's pretty interesting i think you have a good point too. I usually notice people when they seem like they are really helping or kind idk if I'd Just be chilling then see a chick and like forget the whole universe cuz she has kind looking eyes or whatever butttt if I knew someone and they were known to be very kind and stuff I'd probably be a lot more interested. I am not super kind or anything although I want to be but kinda caring people are just beautiful man warms my widdle hart ;-; so that would definitely peak my interest i think. I just don't think I'll be like omg that lady approximately 15 yards away is gorgeous she must be my future wife! I might see her be like oh wow she's hot and continue whatever i was doing lol
 

IToreTheSky

Well-known member
Aug 20, 2020
695
528
93
N.Y.
#44
I can honestly say I've never had that "our eyes met across a crowded room"
If there's a room of attractive ladies I'd have to listen to them and see how they handle themselves or what they say. Based on that then I might approach her and strike up a convo.
I can't recall ever having that lightning bolt effect where I just had to talk to someone.
There's billions of physically attractive women out there but that's such a small piece of the puzzle that makes my heart and mind swoon for a lady.
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
3,903
1,495
113
#45
well, at the risk of starting some sort of scandal, i wasn't talking about Mrs. post.

Mrs. post, i grew to love over time - and at least in my life, this turned out to be the sort of love that is marriage: a love that was built, layer on layer, and blossomed, and became established through shared struggle and turmoil and perseverance.

I replied because I know that there really is a genuine, lasting love that can come from 'at first sight' infatuation - for me it is, you might call Platonic. Sometimes I wonder if she and I would still care for each other like we do, would still be friends, if we had ever spent the kind of wholesale time together that a marriage involves - or of we'd come to find differences between ourselves that we couldn't resolve by mutual affection. I do think, if we hadn't kept our relationship pure, we would not still be close today. And I think, maybe I ought to thank God that He's kept us at distance, whether this has helped our friendship last as long as it has.

I do thank God for Mrs post daily - don't read this wrong. But to be honest the love I share with her isn't the kind of starry-eyed ooh, look at her, *must meet* love at first sight thing. I did not respect or cherish her in the early days of our relationship nearly as much as I do now, and that keeps increasing every year. It's turned out to be something more subtle, yet greater in the end. It's a love that wasn't immediately apparent to me but has persisted and strengthened over time.


So my advice is to talk to her, or him. Talk to them like they might be a friend for life - but don't assume they are your life partner just because of butterflies in your stomach, and don't assume that those butterflies are nothing more than hormones either. The relationships that last are the ones that go beyond the physical, so build those. It doesn't have to become an intimate relationship to be real love

I'm glad it worked out for you, this is great news!

I'm sure marriage is a beautiful thing when all the stars align, but it probably looks like solar flares when things aren't in sync. It's the burn that worries me. You ever seen someone get burned on marriage, or in a dating relationship? I'd rather be 100% sure on something, then 50% like marriage, but hey, if you are in that sweet 50% that makes it, great on you.

I look back at all the relationships that I rejected, and all the woman that rejected me, and feel it worked out for the best. Being single has it's perks and downsides, but from my perspective, it's far superior than marriage here on earth. To each his/her own, or to be one in marriage; Just choose wisely!

1606503857374.jpeg
 

LightBright

Senior Member
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
849
113
24
#46
I'm glad it worked out for you, this is great news!

I'm sure marriage is a beautiful thing when all the stars align, but it probably looks like solar flares when things aren't in sync. It's the burn that worries me. You ever seen someone get burned on marriage, or in a dating relationship? I'd rather be 100% sure on something, then 50% like marriage, but hey, if you are in that sweet 50% that makes it, great on you.

I look back at all the relationships that I rejected, and all the woman that rejected me, and feel it worked out for the best. Being single has it's perks and downsides, but from my perspective, it's far superior than marriage here on earth. To each his/her own, or to be one in marriage; Just choose wisely!

View attachment 223052
Understandable negl i think im starting to get there too lol
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,212
2,547
113
#47
So, you know in movies/TV, when the lead male character spots a pretty girl in a crowded place, and even though there's plenty of other lovely ladies around, something about this particular woman has him totally enamoured, like she's the most beautiful person he's ever seen, and he just HAS to talk to her?

Is that actually a thing? Have any of you ever experienced something like this before?
Perhaps this is a very silly question, but I'm really quite curious :LOL:
I am late to this but yes actually my very first crush was in highschool not a head over heels thing but instead of the cheerleaders who to their credit were very beautiful I was always attracted to the shy ones the quirky nerdy ones that everyone else is blind to I find them to be so cute and adorably sweet
 
Nov 15, 2020
1,897
362
83
Newcastle, NSW, Australia
#48
Regarding the movie characters, well, I didn't get any script, so whoever she is for me, I'm yet to meet her; "fairytales" must only be true for some folks.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
2,082
1,329
113
#49
You mean like a crush?

I've had eyes for only one female in college out of a sea of people. That sort of thing?
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
#51
Well, I’m not a dude, but I’ll answer the question lol. I’ve never had the “locked eyes” moment. I never had a guy approach me from across the room. I consider myself a wallflower so maybe I wasn’t even seen lol!

But the Lord made a way. My husband and I were just friends for about 7 months before we officially dated.