If your leg is broken, you don’t cut it off. If your eyes aren’t in perfect focus you don’t pluck them out. That’s because they are a part of you. Sure there are short comings but it doesn’t mean you start lopping off body parts. When you get married, two become one. You are no longer individuals, you are singular. God hates divorce. Cutting loose a spouse is like severing a body part that no longer serves you perfectly. You wouldn’t! You adjust. You figure how to deal with it. In many cases that is pornography for men. It’s not a Godly solution, granted. If you can fix the problem and she becomes more receptive, bonus. If she doesn’t then you cope. You mourn the loss of your sex life like you would mourn the loss of your mobility if you become paralyzed. Not two, you are one. Maybe you are a miserable one, but you are one. It was hating my life that strengthened me in Christ. I didn’t leave my unsatisfactory marriage to seek happiness. I sacrificed earthly pleasure for spiritual bliss. It’s a choice I recommend wholeheartedly. I didn’t need to be single (divorced) to achieve this.
A good Christian husband outward with moral issues
- Thread starter Kisen
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We are mammals and sexually operate like mammals. Women have limited opportunity to procreate. They have hormonal instincts to select genetically superior males and offer up the chance to pass on their genes. Because wealth and power signify dominance, this also makes males attractive along side strength, height, symmetry and confidence. She becomes sexually motivated because of procreative instincts. Once she has children, her focus no longer is on sex. Sure she can enjoy it and still becomes attracted to dominant specimens but that’s not her focus. Mirror neurons connect her to her offspring and often she lives vicariously through them. There’s a lot of psychology that causes predictable outcomes but that’s the basics. This is why God allowed polygamy. Men are designed to be ready to plant seeds at the scent of pheromones. The scent of vaginal secretion increases testosterone 50%. This is how we are made…as humans. Christians are not human. We are a new creation. We are not bound to the flesh and hormonal instincts. Our bond to our spouse is not physical and that’s why because of lack of physical pleasure we shouldn’t divorce.
Men and women lose sexual motivation around the same time...
Until she is into menopause she desires naturally, men significantly lose testosterone around 40 and generally mirror her slow down...
Polygamy was engaged because of an imbalance in genders within the society, every culture moves towards monogamy as they balance... ours is within a percent I believe
Until she is into menopause she desires naturally, men significantly lose testosterone around 40 and generally mirror her slow down...
Polygamy was engaged because of an imbalance in genders within the society, every culture moves towards monogamy as they balance... ours is within a percent I believe
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We are connected to the Spirit to be a manifestation of love and light. We are the hands and feet of Christ, God in the world. If we separate ourselves from the world then we are crippling the Body of Christ. The purpose of my hands, are to serve my will. If I stick them up my sleeves to keep them all comfortable and close, how effective are they?
Sounds alot like my husband and what's even worse, is he's ministering to people on chat sites professing Christ ,yet his family is drowning and he knows and doesn't care. I also found out today that he's been drinking ontop of smoking weed and doesn't work..online all day.. and I'm working over 100 hours a week to try and keep my family from drowning... And now I'm internally bleeding again because of the stress.. but... I broke down today. I asked God, to either save this man or take him out. But for now, I'm keeping silent on all the hurt he does to me..spending money that we don't have for his beer and drugs .lying to me constantly... And even let me know his ex wife was a back up plan.. now that one really got me... Rely on God... As a woman, I desperately would love to have a husband that loves my kids and I. But I don't... All I can say, is cry out to God. Let him carry you in this time... I don't know what his will is for me.. but I'm trying not to do things that wouldn't please him, all because I'm hurting.
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Hi Kisen, I'm so sorry about the situation with your husband. I am assuming you feel extremely hurt and disgusted by his behavior. From what you have suggested, it seems that your husband has a pornography+masturbation addiction. Not unlike addictions to drugs or alcohol, this behavior likely stems from deep pain. We use unhealthy coping mechanisms like substances and sex to soothe what we may feel as emptiness or deep despair. This doesn't make his behavior any better or excused, but I think it would be productive for you to encourage him to seek counseling. With hard work and guidance, he may be able to heal this pain with Jesus' help and kick this habit for good.
It deeply concerns me that he is so adamant about keeping his alternate lifestyle a secret. While it is true that we all have our own thorns, his complete refusal to admit that he has a problem worries me. This is a certain sign that he does not want to change and is quite happy continuing as is. Unless he realizes the destruction of his actions, I worry that his behavior will escalate.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to watch your husband behave one way in private and another around others. Although it may seem that he is getting along fine, know that ultimately God is in control and what he does is no secret to Him. In Luke 12:1-3, Jesus says "Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs." I pray that when this day comes, your husband will see how much pain his behavior is inflicting on not only his family, but also himself. I'll be praying for you and your family, Kisen.
It deeply concerns me that he is so adamant about keeping his alternate lifestyle a secret. While it is true that we all have our own thorns, his complete refusal to admit that he has a problem worries me. This is a certain sign that he does not want to change and is quite happy continuing as is. Unless he realizes the destruction of his actions, I worry that his behavior will escalate.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to watch your husband behave one way in private and another around others. Although it may seem that he is getting along fine, know that ultimately God is in control and what he does is no secret to Him. In Luke 12:1-3, Jesus says "Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs." I pray that when this day comes, your husband will see how much pain his behavior is inflicting on not only his family, but also himself. I'll be praying for you and your family, Kisen.
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