Dear people,
For months now I have a strange feeling inside. I feel like I don't care anymore, like all these things are the same. Like I live in kinda cocoon. Amazing things don't hit me anymore.
Since summercamp last year I really really believe that Jesus is my Saviour. He is, and was and will always be. I barely had doubts. The first time I came here, on this forum, I learned many things about Jesus. I learned how to practise my faith in a way that I've never heard before. I was really into it and loved to learn more about Him. And I really felt like I do care.
I don't know where it went to this side. Now nothing hits me. Even when I read about Jesus' grace it don't hit me anymore; like it's a normal thing. Also with news. Every evening I watch the news, but it don't really hits me. Like it's a fairytale. I hate it! I would love to feel new power inside. New power to surrender myself to Him and stand for things. Sometimes I feel Jesus' power slightly come back, but it's never for long. I thought it wasn't that big, that I would found some power at the summercamp this year. At the summercamp I felt kinda power. Now it's gone, like always.
I don't know anymore. Everything feels useless. I know the problem is me. I do something wrong, that blocks the way to Jesus. He isn't my number 1 although I really want it. II don't know what to do. Everything feels useless
And my friends. They are really awesome! But it feel like they never see how I feel. If I feel lonely, tthey don't see it. I didn't dare to talk about my struggles because they already have enough to care about (almost all my friends have Huge problems). Like huge. And than I think to myself and I hate myself for complaining this much. To myself. To you. To God. I may not complain, because everyone would say I have a good life. Maybe I do have a good life. Maybe not. I don't know anymore.
I have waited for a long time to post this, I didn't dare it. I hope you have advice or something?
And. Could you pray for me?
Bless'
Channa
For months now I have a strange feeling inside. I feel like I don't care anymore, like all these things are the same. Like I live in kinda cocoon. Amazing things don't hit me anymore.
Since summercamp last year I really really believe that Jesus is my Saviour. He is, and was and will always be. I barely had doubts. The first time I came here, on this forum, I learned many things about Jesus. I learned how to practise my faith in a way that I've never heard before. I was really into it and loved to learn more about Him. And I really felt like I do care.
I don't know where it went to this side. Now nothing hits me. Even when I read about Jesus' grace it don't hit me anymore; like it's a normal thing. Also with news. Every evening I watch the news, but it don't really hits me. Like it's a fairytale. I hate it! I would love to feel new power inside. New power to surrender myself to Him and stand for things. Sometimes I feel Jesus' power slightly come back, but it's never for long. I thought it wasn't that big, that I would found some power at the summercamp this year. At the summercamp I felt kinda power. Now it's gone, like always.
I don't know anymore. Everything feels useless. I know the problem is me. I do something wrong, that blocks the way to Jesus. He isn't my number 1 although I really want it. II don't know what to do. Everything feels useless
And my friends. They are really awesome! But it feel like they never see how I feel. If I feel lonely, tthey don't see it. I didn't dare to talk about my struggles because they already have enough to care about (almost all my friends have Huge problems). Like huge. And than I think to myself and I hate myself for complaining this much. To myself. To you. To God. I may not complain, because everyone would say I have a good life. Maybe I do have a good life. Maybe not. I don't know anymore.
I have waited for a long time to post this, I didn't dare it. I hope you have advice or something?
And. Could you pray for me?
Bless'
Channa