31 and still single/ unmarried

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Bananalegs

Bananalegs

Member
#1
Dec 11, 2019
24
51
13
#1
Hey there everyone, I hope this doesn’t come off sounding depressing, but I’m 31 and still single and have been wondering if there’s something wrong with that? I mean I know I’m not a bad guy at all, yeah I’ve made mistakes in the past, but we all have, no one is perfect. I have a lot of friends that are younger than me and they are either married or getting married and I’m all like, “did I do something wrong to be where I’m at?” I know that God does have someone for us all and that He intends for us to be happy and be in a living and caring relationship that will lead to the ultimate union in marriage, but I often contemplate that what if some of us aren’t meant for that? I hope not because I really would love to get married someday to a beautiful and loving wife and have an awesome family, I just sometimes have my doubts if I’m meant for that. Would love to hear all your opinions and expertise on the matter! I’m honestly probably just over thinking it and should just be patient that God will give me the perfect wife in due time, on His time not mine.
 
Mel85

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
#2
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#2
Hello there brother and welcome to CC.

You’ll actually find there are many here who are in the same boat as you, even older in age, but know there is nothing wrong with it. Enjoy your single time because once she comes along, you won’t be able to be independent as you were when you were single.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. And remember that scripture “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” - Psalm 37:4.

Be blessed! 💜
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#3
Mar 26, 2014
4,436
2,423
113
#3
Bananalegs said:
Hey there everyone, I hope this doesn’t come off sounding depressing, but I’m 31 and still single and have been wondering if there’s something wrong with that? I mean I know I’m not a bad guy at all, yeah I’ve made mistakes in the past, but we all have, no one is perfect. I have a lot of friends that are younger than me and they are either married or getting married and I’m all like, “did I do something wrong to be where I’m at?” I know that God does have someone for us all and that He intends for us to be happy and be in a living and caring relationship that will lead to the ultimate union in marriage, but I often contemplate that what if some of us aren’t meant for that? I hope not because I really would love to get married someday to a beautiful and loving wife and have an awesome family, I just sometimes have my doubts if I’m meant for that. Would love to hear all your opinions and expertise on the matter! I’m honestly probably just over thinking it and should just be patient that God will give me the perfect wife in due time, on His time not mine.
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37 and never married so no I don't think there's anything wrong with you. But I'm also not convinced that God has someone for us all and that he intends for us to have happy and pleasant lives. But kind of like with most other things in life, if you want it what are you doing to pursue that end. Because hoping that the perfect person comes along and you magically take 1 look and know that that's the person God intended for you, is a good way to stay single for a very long time.
 
Bananalegs

Bananalegs

Member
#4
Dec 11, 2019
24
51
13
#4
That’s true Mel, I’ve just been single for a long time and I’m ready to share my life with someone special.
And Cinder you make a great point, I’ve just been saved this past year in April and I’ve been too focused on learning and growing in my faith right now. All my ex’s from my past, well let’s just say that they weren’t exactly right for me. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past and as I grow in my faith I’m also gearing up to meet my future spouse and preparing myself to be a great husband and ready to provide for the family that I wanna start eventually. Maybe right now I’m not ready and I’m just being impatient. Idk. But I do believe that I will meet someone special someday and when that happens, I hope and pray that I’ll be ready for her to be the great man of God I’m supposed to be. I’m still new and still such a baby in Christ. I still have a lot to learn and so much room to grow.
 
Going_Nowhere

Going_Nowhere

Well-known member
#5
Nov 10, 2019
1,729
945
113
#5
Mel85 said:
Enjoy your single time because once she comes along, you won’t be able to be independent as you were when you were single.
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Too true. And then you might find yourself wishing you were alone more. You always want what you don't have.


And to the OP, if it makes you feel any better, I'm 32 and still single. So don't feel like you're just really unlucky or anything. Like Mel said, there are older singles as well. No big deal.


I'm sure you'll find someone one day. :)
 
JamOn

JamOn

Banned
#6
Jun 10, 2019
4,304
1,659
113
#6
I’m a 51 single man, never been married, no kids I’m a dinosaur relic, welcome to CC bananalegs by the way the name is a good chuckle 😂
 
JamOn

JamOn

Banned
#7
Jun 10, 2019
4,304
1,659
113
#7
Oddly enough I’m one of four siblings, only one of my family members has been married and with children and I’m the youngest.
 
Blackbeard

Blackbeard

Banned
#8
Dec 8, 2019
61
91
18
#8
I think when you quit stressing over it and just work on improving your life, you'll be surprised when she shows up. God works in mysterious ways brother
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#9
Sep 17, 2018
4,096
3,196
113
#9
Bananalegs said:
That’s true Mel, I’ve just been single for a long time and I’m ready to share my life with someone special.
And Cinder you make a great point, I’ve just been saved this past year in April and I’ve been too focused on learning and growing in my faith right now. All my ex’s from my past, well let’s just say that they weren’t exactly right for me. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past and as I grow in my faith I’m also gearing up to meet my future spouse and preparing myself to be a great husband and ready to provide for the family that I wanna start eventually. Maybe right now I’m not ready and I’m just being impatient. Idk. But I do believe that I will meet someone special someday and when that happens, I hope and pray that I’ll be ready for her to be the great man of God I’m supposed to be. I’m still new and still such a baby in Christ. I still have a lot to learn and so much room to grow.
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Cinder's right. Marriage is not promised to anyone. Neither is happiness. Look at the lives of the Apostles. Persecuted, murdered, jailed. Look at Jesus own life, harassed relentlessly and murdered.

We all believe we will meet that someone special (though there is no "one"). By the way, 44 and never married. Nor could I say I had a happy life.
Christian's in Africa and China, as well as other countries, are regularly imprisoned, tortured and killed for their faith. Kind of puts a lid on that notion that God wants everyone happy.
It's wishful thinking, not biblical teaching, that people should live happy, easy lives. Paul taught joy, which means whether you're in good or bad circumstances, you remain joyful. He wrote about that while in prison for his faith. He wasn't happy.
 
M

morefaithrequired

Guest
#10
#10
You just havent met the right fruit yet.
 
Bananalegs

Bananalegs

Member
#12
Dec 11, 2019
24
51
13
#12
Thank you all for the sound advice, and the funny jokes and puns hehe 😜. I fully believe that I will be someday so I just need to be patient, keep my mind focused on God and keep my eyes on prize, and not settle for just anyone. I’ll get there 😊
 
M

morefaithrequired

Guest
#13
#13
Just dont get sour grapes. My brothers 63 and 59 are still single. the 59 year old hasnt given up. But his track record is poor imo. Too fussy . Always finds something wrong with a prospective partner. And hes a born again too. Are born agains too hard to please by the way?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#15
Mar 13, 2014
42,657
17,112
113
69
Tennessee
#15
Bananalegs said:
Hey there everyone, I hope this doesn’t come off sounding depressing, but I’m 31 and still single and have been wondering if there’s something wrong with that? I mean I know I’m not a bad guy at all, yeah I’ve made mistakes in the past, but we all have, no one is perfect. I have a lot of friends that are younger than me and they are either married or getting married and I’m all like, “did I do something wrong to be where I’m at?” I know that God does have someone for us all and that He intends for us to be happy and be in a living and caring relationship that will lead to the ultimate union in marriage, but I often contemplate that what if some of us aren’t meant for that? I hope not because I really would love to get married someday to a beautiful and loving wife and have an awesome family, I just sometimes have my doubts if I’m meant for that. Would love to hear all your opinions and expertise on the matter! I’m honestly probably just over thinking it and should just be patient that God will give me the perfect wife in due time, on His time not mine.
Click to expand...
God may search and find the one of your heart's desire but He isn't simply going to drop a wife into your lap. Be ready to act decisively if an opportunity arises. You have to play your part in this too and take some initiative. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
 
JamOn

JamOn

Banned
#16
Jun 10, 2019
4,304
1,659
113
#16
tourist said:
God may search and find the one of your heart's desire but He isn't simply going to drop a wife into your lap. Be ready to act decisively if an opportunity arises. You have to play your part in this too and take some initiative. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
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Like this little guy, hehe.

 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#17
Aug 13, 2014
27,716
9,647
113
#17
41 and still single here.

What are you doing in the meantime? There's a whole lot of living to do, whether you're married or single.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#18
Aug 12, 2011
10,467
2,704
113
#18
I agree with Lynx! Live the life the Lord has given you :)
 
Bananalegs

Bananalegs

Member
#19
Dec 11, 2019
24
51
13
#19
Great advice Jam and Lynx. Right now I just started a new job and start this Monday. I eventually want to save up to almost $10,000 to go to a Bible College come this September for three years, it’s a little about $3000 a year. I want to become a missionary and a minister, which are my two main passions right now. So now that I say that and loom on that, I don’t even think I have the time for a relationship right now as I want to fulfill my passions and God’s purpose for my life.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#20
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#20
Is there meant to be a cut of point for marriage like you reach a certain age you are supposed to be married by? Or is it you just need to fit in with the church calendar because its booked solid for weddings?

I wouldnt do something just because 'all my friends are doing it so I have to as well' .

Another thing there is actually no such thing as 'the perfect wife' I would hate if someone tried to put me on that pedestal. Who is the perfect wife anyway? A pretend person?

What God was meaning in terms of marriage was the CHURCH being married to Jesus. People often get that mixed up with earthly concerns and assume that evryone has to be married on earth. Not so.

when Jesus said to his discples wait here I am going to send the helper to you. He wasnt meaning all of them were going to walk down the aisle. He had something way better.
 
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