I cannot truly say I understand how much you would be in suffering right now to say that you don't see a way out of this. Although I will say that you have to live this life. Even with all it's loneliness and bitterness and suffering.
You are heavy burdened by the troubles you have to face in your life friend. And you don't have someone by your side to say that it's going to be alright.
Jesus says in the Bible, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28.
You know, Jesus died for your sins. It wasn't an easy life that our Lord lived and died. Throughout the three years of His public ministry on earth, He healed everyone that needed healing, brought the dead back to life and forgave the sins of sinners even before He could die on the cross for the sins of mankind. Think how much of a toll it would have taken on Him. Jesus would always go alone to pray and get new strength from God. Imagine how it would have been for Him that He knew what was going to happen to Him. Yet, He walked towards that death and embraced it for us. It was one of the most shameful deaths at that time. It was very painful and it was hard for Him and Jesus knew that not everyone is going to be saved because of what He did on the cross for them.
That death on the cross was not meant for Him. It was meant for us and for our sins. He has paid our debt so that we can be free and He sits as a mediator between Us and God the Father. What Jesus did for you, He did out of love. Jesus loves you. So, never say or believe that you're alone. Because you're not. God is with you at your worst state. And loves you at your worst state. God is worthy of your love and worthy of your suffering and the hardships you go through. Give your burdens to Jesus, so that you can find the rest you need.
Don't you ever take your life my friend. However much you want to. If you're suffering, offer your suffering to God. Although in your eyes, it may be meaningless, to God, it would be the key to you entering heaven after this life. You have to go through whatever you have to go through to get to heaven. You always have God's love with you.
Jesus doesn't say that it will be easy for you. However, you can ask God for help. Trust me, God will hear you and help you when no one on earth will. That's why Jesus has gone now from us to heaven, so that The Holy Spirit can come and be among human beings and help them. You have to pray to work your salvation both in this life and the life after this.
The pain you feel has already been borne by Jesus on the cross and whatever you owe to God has been paid by Jesus. Paid in full. Have faith in Jesus. Have faith in our Lord. Keep praying to Him even if it seems hopeless and all is lost. Don't give up hope even if all seems lost. Never give up. If the enemy kills you it is one thing. If you die because of your physical ailments it is one thing. But you are the best friend you have for yourself right now. You have to give yourself every chance in the world to live this life. Because, who knows. Tomorrow, you might be living a life better than today. It could be 5 years from now. 10 years from now. 50 years from now. You don't know. And even if that doesn't happen, you have to put in the work for that. You have to have the mental fortitude required for that life.
God says - “But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.” - Matthew 24:13.
That's what God would want you to do. Endure in your loneliness, in your financial struggles and in your suffering. No suffering is permanent. Especially one that God sees. Have faith in Jesus.
If you thought no one cares for you, God has proved you wrong. If no one cared, so many of us would not have reached out to you. We may not say the words or give the advice or comfort you're looking for in your life. But we all want the same thing. We want you to win over this ordeal that you face. Whatever it takes. Show strength for God. Even if no one knows your struggle. Show strength for Jesus. Lay it all on the line for Him as He did for you. God bless you
